How Likable are You?

One of the most important keys to living a happy, healthy and fulfilling life is your ability to build meaningful relationships. While there are many factors that influence the relationships you have with others, being a likable person ranks near the top of the list. Likable people are those who do the little things to connect with people.

The Importance of Being Likable

All the great teachers of personal achievement from Napoleon Hill to Anthony Robbins have talked about the importance of creating a likable personality. Dale Carnegie’s famous book How to Win Friends and Influence People was one of the best books I have read on the subject.

Generally speaking, people who have a likable personality enjoy greater success both personally and professionally. The logic is simple; people are subconsciously drawn to people who are likable.

Regardless of your career path, you can improve your brand and increase your value to the market by becoming a more likable person.

Evaluate Yourself

So, being honest with yourself, on a scale of 1-10, how likable are you? If your friends and business colleagues or your spouse and children were to rank your likability on a scale of 1-10, what would they say?

Answer these questions honestly to identify the areas where you can improve:

* When speaking with other people, are you genuinely engaged and interested in what they have to say?

* Does your smile communicate an authentic interest in the other person?

* When people are speaking, are you patient? Do you let them finish before responding?

* Will you get in the back seat of the car so your friend can sit in the front seat?

* Do you remember people’s names?

* Do you accept responsibility when you are wrong?

* Do you say please when asking people to do something for you, even if they are being paid to do it?

* Do you offer your sincere appreciation to those who have done something to help you, even if it’s within their job description?

* Are you friendly in your e-mails?

* Are you complimentary of others when they are deserving of one?

* Do you encourage others when given the opportunity?

* When having dinner at a friend’s home, will you pitch in and help do the dishes?

* Do you practice humility?

* Do you listen more than you talk?

* Do you offer a heart-felt apology when you have hurt someone without making excuses?

* Do you make people feel comfortable when they are around you?

* Do you try to maintain a positive attitude at all times?

This is just a short list of the actions we take on a daily basis that will determine whether people view us as likable. The great news is 100% of these things are within your control.

There is Always Room For Improvement

When I first took this lesson to heart, I was extra intentional about doing the little things to be more likable. For example, I was friendlier to the store clerks where I shopped and more encouraging and complimentary of my own children. While I had known about the importance of being likable for many years, this exercise was a humbling reminder that there is always room for improvement and I am no exception.

Start By Doing the Easy Things

If you want to create a more likable personality, here is the key: you must be INTENTIONAL about doing the little things that will make you a more likable person. Let me offer you the same challenge I once made to my son when was he was sixteen.

Jake worked at a local grocery store where he normally just focused on doing his job. One day, at the beginning of his work week, I challenged Jake to go out of his way to be friendly. The first day he went out of his way to be friendly to two customers. On the second day, ten customers, the third day thirty-four customers and the fourth day fifty-four customers. Get the picture?

As a result of this simple challenge, he was standing taller, walking with a bounce in his step and taking more pride in the person he was becoming. At the time, it was the fastest I had ever seen his self-confidence grow. The store manager even noticed and told him what a great job he was doing.

Will you accept my challenge? Will you focus on becoming a more likable person?

What are some of the things that make people likable? Post your ideas in the comment section below.

People have choices. They will always choose to associate with someone who is likable. Are you?


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  • Irenek1

    Thank you so much for this site. I read it all the time . I am going to start doing this things this
    week, and it is a great way to start the new year 2011

  • Hi Irene,

    I am glad you are enjoying my site.

    There is no better time to start than today!


  • Janelle Helling

    You have to like yourself before you can authentically like others. I suppose it's better to act likable than to act rude, even if it's not real, but ... people will see through you when it's fake. It's all about the energy. I've also experienced some of the things that Cenzzo wrote about two months ago. "Nice" in the world of business or law enforcement is frequently interpreted as weakness. I cannot change how other people perceive me, but I can set and enforce my own boundaries. Others do not necessarily have to know what those are.

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