The Power of Showing Your Appreciation

William James, well-known psychologist and philosopher, said, “The deepest principle of human nature is a craving to be appreciated.”  If we are honest with ourselves, we all want and need to feel valued for who we are and recognized for our contributions and accomplishments. It’s important for us to know that we have made a difference in someone’s life.

If a person takes the time to express their heart-felt appreciation for something we have done, it boosts our spirit, passion, and purpose.  It builds our self-confidence, self-esteem and our entire self-image. It gives us energy and motivation to work harder and do more.

Six benefits you can derive by showing your appreciation

1.  When you give people a sincere compliment, words of encouragement or just a warm smile, you are making their world a better place.  You are making them feel appreciated and valuable.

2.  When you express your approval or gratitude for something they have done, you will not only enhance their lives, but you will enrich yours as well.  You will feel more fulfilled because you have done something to make someone else’s life better.

3.  One of the laws of the universe states that what you give you get in return. It costs little or nothing and it almost always follows suit that they will demonstrate their gratitude for what you do.

4.  When you show an interest in others by noticing the good things they’ve done, they will be drawn to you like a magnet.  It will accelerate the relationship building process and enhance their overall impression of you.

5.  It will increase your value to the market. When you show your appreciation to others, their respect for you will grow and so will your influence as a leader. In today’s world people have choices. They absolutely prefer to work with people they like and trust and who show an interest in them.

6.  It’s a free form of currency. People will do more for recognition than they will for money. If you are in a leadership position, remember that people will work harder and do more if they know they will be recognized for their accomplishments.  Show them you care and they will be loyal to you, even if better opportunities come their way.

Six Tips to Show Appreciation

1.  Be genuine about your praise and don’t expect anything in return for being nice.

2.  Be very specific with your words and use the person’s name whenever possible. This makes it more meaningful. For example, “ Bill, thanks for making us feel so welcome when we arrived at the hotel. It was the perfect start to our vacation.”

3.  Demonstrating eye contact and positive body language goes hand in hand with the words you choose.

4.  Think of special ways to show your gratitude. For example, buy flowers or do something special for your spouse that you know he or she would love. You don’t have to spend a lot of money for the thank you to have value.

5.  Send a hand written thank you card or note of appreciation.  Most people don’t take the time to do this simple act.

6.  If the praise or appreciation relates to a specific act or circumstance, give it as soon after the event as possible to have the most impact.

My challenge to you

I want to challenge you to make your expression of appreciation stand out from the crowd. Make sure it is genuine and something that will make an impression. It will require more effort on your part but it will be worth it.

While going the extra mile is admirable, don’t forget the simple little things we can do on a daily basis to let people know they are appreciated.  For every handwritten thank you note I write, I probably send 30 emails thanking people for the little things they’ve done for me.  For every gift I buy for my wife, I probably tell her 50 times how much I appreciate all she does for me.

Make a list of those people who regularly do things for you, including your co-workers, friends, family members and those who work under your leadership.  When this list is complete, go back over each name and determine how you can express your appreciation for the things they do for you in a way that makes them feel noticed and valued.

Let me also encourage you to thank 100% of the people for 100% of the things they do to make your life better, even if it’s part of their job description.  Whether it’s the hostess who seats you in a restaurant, a grocery clerk who scans and bags your groceries, a hotel bellman or a co-worker, everyone deserves to be thanked.  Begin to adopt an attitude of gratitude!

“Three billion people on the face of the earth go to bed hungry every night, but four billion people go to bed every night hungry for a simple word of encouragement and recognition.” -Author Robert Cavett

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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The Fundamentals of Eye Contact

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The Psychology of Selling
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  • Mysti

    Todd, I just found your site quite by accident and am very glad I have. I find it very telling when I often find myself being more appreciative of co-workers, neighbors, service workers, and friends more so than of my own children, family and boyfriend. I cannot remember the last time I told them I appreciated the dinner on the table when I came home, the trash being taken out without being asked or my teen filling up my car with gas without being asked (and with his own money - lol!). I can guarantee tonight (and every night from here on out) will be a lot better for everyone in my household. Thanks for the great reminders Todd. I appreciate it!

  • Hi Mysti- I am glad this post made a positive impact on you. I enjoy reading comments like yours. Thanks! Todd

  • Thanks Todd! An Elder that I respect told us at a conference 17 years ago that she learned early on in her career to walk with Thank You notes. So I do the same. After interviews, as I'm currently career searching, I return with handwritten Thank You notes for those I met with and also for receptionist or admin assistant. I do my best to bring an attitude of appreciation+gratitude to each day.~Cheers

  • Janelle Helling

    Excellent point in your post about appreciating the receptionist or admin assistant. People seem to forget that these folks are the "gateway" to whoever and wherever you want to go in an organization. It has never made sense to me how very few people acknowledge or respect them. If you have a minute or two to visit and get acquainted in the waiting area, many admin. assistants know more about all levels of the business than their boss does. (Just don't hog the time of a busy individual, or you will leave a negative impression.) When I interviewed potential employees, I would ask the receptionist and other employees for input on their reaction to the short-listed individuals. On the flip side, I have withdrawn my offer to do business with places after contacting a rude, negative receptionist, entirely on the assumption that employees reflect the attitude of their organization and bosses toward customers. Everyone matters.

  • Great contribution Janelle! Thanks!

  • Hi Raycent- Sorry for the delay in responding to your comment. I have been in Alaska with the family over the past week. I am sure your attitude of showing appreciation has made an impact on those in your life. Thanks for your comment. Cheers! Todd

  • Thanks Todd! An Elder that I respect told us at a conference 17 years ago that she learned early on in her career to walk with Thank You notes. So I do the same. After interviews, as I'm currently career searching, I return with handwritten Thank You notes for those I met with and also for receptionist or admin assistant. I do my best to bring an attitude of appreciation+gratitude to each day.~Cheers

  • Hi, Todd

    I only just started reading your blog and it has already made it on my daily reading list.

    This post inspired me to get busy on my own gratitude list and to make showing my appreciation to each person on that list part of my daily networking activities. As you know, the best networking is an act of giving value without expectation of return. Showing appreciation to those who make your life easier is just one good way to do this.

    Thanks again for your good work.

    PS. I wrote about this post in my own blog at:

    http://thereluctantnetworker.b...

  • Hi Greg,

    You are right about the best networking is an the act of giving value without expectation of anything in return. I wrote about this subject in my post Go Givers Are The Winners. Bob Burg did a great job in his book Go Givers Sell More talking about this very subject.

    I just signed up to receive your blog posts. I look forward to reading your posts.

    I wish you the best!

    Todd

  • josephcuozzo

    Hey Todd,

    I own a hair salon in NJ and always try to do this but what a great reminder. As i read i am thinking about employees that deserve some appreciation. I am really enjoying your post.

  • Hi Joseph,

    Thanks for checking out my blog and for responding to this post. My wife is so happy to have purchased BeautyForAshes.com from you.

    I hope you made your employees day with your words of appreciation.

  • Todd,

    It really is about having an attitude of gratitude. I just finished reading a book on "Appreciation Marketing" and how "the power of appreciation" can make such a big difference in our personal and business lives.

    I love your challenge, I challenge myself and my clients on a daily basis to show appreciation to others by teaching them "the power of a card" and challenge them to send out a card a day. For those who are big on Advertising and "Sending out to get" I make sure to remind them
    that "Appreciation Wins Over Self Promotion Every Single Time".


    Tom Hopkins sent out cards on a daily basis and grew his business to 98% referral. He says that he could not have done it had he not believed in the power of showing appreciation and gratitude!

    I realize that most people don't take the time to send out hand written notes/cards as it can be time consuming not to mention costly. I do show my clients that there is an easier way, It's a wonderful service I recommend to everyone. I love it and use it daily, Tom Hopkins now uses it too!

    My clients are amazed at how quickly they are seeing the changes happening in both their personal and business lives. It's funny, some don't even realize that they are just simply putting the Law of Attraction into Action!

    We all need to find a way to "stand out from the crowd", I hope people will take you up on your challenge Todd, it really will make a difference!

    Todd, you had asked me some questions on your Blog Post Titled "The Go Givers Are Winners" I did answer them, although I'm not sure if you still receive notices on previous posts, I just wanted to let you know that my response is there now.

    It's interesting how you wrote that people will do more for recognition than they will for money. There was an article I read by Jack Canfield in a "Success from Home" Magazine where he talks about a study that showed the number one motivator for employees was "Appreciation" believe it or not "Money" came in fifth!

    That same article also talked about three different types of Appreciation which are: Auditory, Visual and Kinesthetic. It explained how some people need to be shown appreciation in
    certain ways meaning that some people need to see it, some need to feel it, and others need to hear it. This would obviously pertain to the people you are closest to and understand which type of appreciation they respond to better. Which one are you Todd?

    Thanks for the great tips Todd, I really appreciate you taking the time to teach us these valuable lessons.

    You are truly an Awesome Man!!!

  • WOW Dana, GREAT comment!

    I just purchased 1000 Little Things Matter cards with matching envelopes, so I can be more active in sending out cards of appreciation.

    When I was in real estate, I sent a thank you card to every person I met with and like Tom Hopkins said, it made a measurable difference and made me stand out from my competitors.

    To answer your question, I like reading and hearing words of appreciation. I have had people tell me for years how much they appreciate what I do for them, but I find hearing/reading them means more to me today than ever before. Perhaps it is because I am spending 4 hours a day writing, proofing and recording my daily lessons and I want to know they are making a difference in people's live or I will go fishing instead.

    Thanks for your contribution to this blog and for your kind words of encouragement.

    Todd

  • That's great that you purchased cards to send out, when you're done handwriting all those cards Todd, you may want to try the service I mentioned above. It's really easy, just hop online, select a card, type your message, click send and the company will print.. stuff.. stamp.. and mail your card out for you! These are real cards Todd, not e-cards! You can even add your Logo and also have your own personal handwriting uploaded onto the cards. You really have to try it to understand exactly how it works. I'll give you the website, it will let you send a free card. I'd love to hear what you think! Here's the site Todd: http://www.igotyourcard.net

    Have fun!

    Dana

  • Hi Dana, I am familiar with Send Out Cards. While I like their service, I prefer sending hand-written notes. I feel hand-written cards present a more personal touch. Thanks!

  • Here are some words of appreciation for your daily teachings.

  • Eabus, I have to give you credit for being the most active contributor to my blog. Thanks!

  • sgorham

    Hey Todd!

    Thank you from sunny San Diego.

    Lets not forget to thank our leaders. At times we take their leadership for granted, expecting them to always be there, It's tough to lead, they work hard.

    Todd I've watched you lead over the years and man you do it well...........

  • Thanks for your thoughtful message. You are right that there are pros and cons to leadership! Your comment is appreciated.

  • vickianzalone

    Good morning Todd and boy does it feel good to be back in Tampa vs COLD, SNOWY, NJ !!! I thought it appropriate to send you my appreciation for your insights and LTM messages. What you are providing is so much more than you can imagine. You may see this as a great way to share your knowledge and passion for helping others such as me improve our lives but it goes beyond the obvious to depths we can never really know. The fact that you are taking the time to venture out to help EVERYONE is priceless and I cannot thank you enough. I have spent my morning catching up on your recent posts and am overwhelmed by the power of your messages, they are so much more than words and they improve my life on a daily basis. If I was camera ready you'd get getting a video email but you'll just have to wait on that !! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for giving us something we didn't even realize how much we were missing, the power and energy of Todd Smith.......

  • THANK YOU Vicki! You are a special person!

  • Evan Weston

    Todd
    Isn't it odd that folks who manage others forget how important it is to show appreciation. It is at least equal to, if not better than a raise in pay.

    I find it also odd that when we do compliment people, and thank them for the difference they have made in our lives, particularly business associates, they can become uncomfortable. Some are so unused to hearing others take time to think through the construction of a compliment that they suspect it is disingenuous . I hope your blog post concept today is absorbed by many and that it becomes part of their accepted normal behavior. What a nice place this would be!!
    Keep 'em coming.
    Evan

  • Evan, it is interesting that you make this point, because I was thinking the same thing on the way to the airport this morning. Thanks for your comment!

  • Todd,
    This is a fantastic post my friend and I appreciate you for bringing this very important topic to our attention once again.

    Having a full time attitude of gratitude is absolutely one of the most powerful ways to bring about prosperity within your life. By acknowledging to the universe that you are grateful for the little things that each of us are blessed with we set into motion events which bring more of those same feelings & emotions to us.

    I truly believe and it has been proven that thoughts are things. Each of our thoughts resonates at a certain level so that once we create this thought in our mind and broadcast it out this will automatically pull "like" frequencies to it.

    Keep up the great work my friend.

    To Our Massive Success,
    John

  • John, for a guy I just connected with a few days ago, you are building a positive brand of yourself in my mind. I look forward getting to know you better! Thanks for your comment!

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