Is Your Attitude Helping or Hurting You? (Part 3)

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Today I want to share with you some ideas to help you maintain a positive attitude despite the presence of negative people or circumstances…

Expect Things To Get Better—When you expect things to improve, not only will you be happier because of your attitude, but also your positive expectations will allow you to see opportunities you would otherwise miss. I have said for years that when you expect things to go well, they generally do, and likewise, when you expect things to turn out poorly, they generally do.

I realize there are times when it’s very hard to have a positive attitude. I’ve been there many times, but I also know I am ultimately the one in charge of my emotions and attitude. I am keenly aware that if I allow myself to moan and grown and wallow in self-pity, I will lengthen my period of pain. I just don’t see how things can improve if I have a bad attitude. Think about it…how can things improve if you don’t expect they will?

When you are faced with difficult challenges, keep in mind that your expectations will in all likelihood determine the outcome.

Avoid Speaking Poorly of People—There will be occasions when people exercise bad judgment or display inappropriate behaviors. It is certainly within your prerogative to offer constructive criticism to these people but it’s in poor taste to talk behind their back to their friends or co-workers. If you allow yourself to be consumed with negative thoughts about a person, your unconstructive attitude will be obvious to others.

I am always impressed with people who don’t speak poorly of others, especially if they have the right to do so.

Maintain a Good Attitude Even If It’s Bad News—One of the things that really stands out in my mind is when people handle themselves with class in the face of bad news. For instance, if you are laid off from your job, lose a big sale or are denied a well-deserved promotion, be intentional about how you handle yourself.

I even noticed this when watching the Academy Awards recently. You can bet those who did not win were extremely disappointed, but they did everything they could to hide their disappointment.

As a sales professional and entrepreneur of 29 years, I have been on the receiving end of a lot of bad news. But I have learned to focus on handling myself like a professional. I know it’s the right thing to do and I have observed that how I respond makes a big impression.

I can recall numerous occasions when a prospective client told me that I did not get their business but they later reconsidered because of the way I responded to their decision and handled myself during the conversation.

Next time you hear bad news, respond in a way that makes you proud of yourself and creates a positive impression.

Learn to Respond Rather Than React—In the course of our daily lives, so many things occur that challenge our natural emotions. It could be the driver that cuts you off on the highway or an aggressive e-mail or perhaps a co-worker’s sarcastic comment during a meeting. When we get upset or angry, the key is to not lose control of our emotions by reacting, but rather to stay in control and respond thoughtfully.

Since this is a weakness of mine, let me tell you what I am doing to correct this. First, I acknowledged to myself that I have a weakness in this area and I am committed to working on it. Second, when I get frustrated or angry I say to myself, “Stay in control Todd; be thoughtful about how you respond.” I often have to repeat this several times.

I have also started modeling my wife’s behavior as I admire her ability to respond rather than react. When she is upset, she focuses on speaking in love. When I think about speaking with love in my heart, it transforms my state of mind faster than anything I have tried before. Try it next time and see how it works for you.

Break the Habit of Finding Fault With People—I must confess I went through of a period of time where I was guilty of this very point. I suppose that I found fault with everything because I was so focused on striving for excellence that I constantly noticed what I perceived to be people’s mistakes.

This changed for me when I heard Napoleon Hill speak about this subject on one of the Success Magazine’s CD inserts. His words had a huge impact on me and I immediately started working on my attitude. I still notice all the little things people do right and wrong, but the difference today is I don’t let it bother me.

How about you? Do you find yourself overally critical? If so, let me encourage you to start being aware of these circumstances and work on your attitude. Have a little more patience; be a little more understanding. People are not perfect and for many of them they are doing their best. It’s also important to recognize that what may be logical to you, may not be logical to others.

As I wrap up this three part series, I want to encourage you to be aware of your attitude at all times and be intentional about controlling your emotions.

I would love to hear about your personal experiences. What helps you to have a positive attitude? In what circumstances do you find yourself challenged to maintain this attitude? If you have found value in this series, I would enjoy reading your comments.

“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” – W. Clement Stone

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

To read part 1 click here

To read part 2 click here

Related Posts:

It’s a New Day!

Count Your Blessings

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The Power of Showing Your Appreciation

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  • Srikanthvelichaeti
    thank you ...it helped me : )
  • I am glad it helped you! Thanks!
  • Contact Elbarnes
    Hi Todd...

    I found " little things matter " on Friday evening and I honestly believe it was no accident. Everything in this life happens for a reason . This 3 part series has been a huge help to me already, I realize it will involve work, yet, I am determined it is worth it. I have for too long chosen to have a poor despondent attitude in the face of adversity which has gotten me nowhere. THANKS VERY MUCH, KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK ! I am already sharing this with my friends.
  • elramirez
    This has been a great series, all great points to watch and exercise a positive attitude. If we start to see problems as challenges and opportunities, it'll help us make the most of this life and make us want to welcome everyday with a smile. TY Todd
  • David Fan
    Todd, great work. I read your little things first time I get to my computer in the morning everyday. It matters a lot to me.
    Thanks and look forward for more like this from you.
  • Hi David- Thanks for your message. I am glad you are enjoying my daily lessons. Todd
  • S. Brodie
    The principal of the elementary school where I work shared this with the whole staff. Our school is closing and it is very difficult for everyone involved to consider the pending transfers and lay offs. I found these three posts on attitude inspiring and have been much more thoughtful in my conversation about the situation. Today, during a professional development seminar, I tried to find something positive to say about the move with the people I spoke with about the challenge. Thanks. I plan to come back and listen to it several more times.
  • It is exciting to read your comment. It appears as thou you are not only aware of your attitude, but because of your attitude, you are standing out from the crowd. Doesn't that feel great? Thanks for sharing!
  • Excellent commentary David…Napoleon Hill can be a life changer.

    The differentiator of positivity does rest in ‘attitude is altitude.’ The weak are those who allow their thoughts to control their actions. The competitive advantage goes to the warrior who forces their actions to control their thoughts…enough said.
  • Steve, your comments definitely stimulates my thinking. Thanks!
  • I was fired as a result of my negative attitude and although it was the best thing that could have happened to me because it prompted me to make a change in my life, I know the importance of having a positive attitude in every aspect of our lives. After losing my job I have found that my attitude has greatly improved as I am a lot happier now that I'm working on finding what I really want to do.
  • Hi Larissa, I am impressed that you would share your story to help others. That is one of the things I have tried to do in my life, especially with my children. I am very open about my mistakes, because they are a great source of education.

    If you are in the sole searching phase right now, let me encourage you to review my posts on (1) How to Make Critical Decisions and (2) Was Napoleon Hill Wrong?. I think both of those posts will stimulate the right thought processes to help you make the right decision.

    Thanks!
  • Another great post to wrap up the series.
    It is wise and humble on your part that you admit it has been a process for you as well and
    you are willing to work on yourself constantly while fine tuning your character.
    Thanks
  • Hi Ernesto, the fact is that I am working to get better on almost every lesson I post. I know what to do, but doing it consistently day in and day out requires discipline. I am glad you enjoyed the series. Thanks for your continued support of this blog.
  • kellymcgillsherrell
    WOW!! Did I need to rehear these words today... I am still in the throws of raising kids (teenagers) at almost 54 years old and one of them is very negative. I also have someone else in my life that is not only negative but because of circumstances beyond his control as a child has a warped sense of reality. He is always insulting my integrity because he doesn't trust anyone so I am constantly trying to keep my attitude in check. I am an extremely outgoing and loving,dependable person who tries to look at the postive side of everything but when someone challenges my intentions or my integrity I can barely contain myself. When I compare myself to the love that God shows us in I Cor. 13 I ask myself , was that being patient, kind, was it self-seeking, was it rude, etc etc. I find that if I program myself to be aware of the next time either of these two " attack" which is what I feel like it is, I am prepared to wait before I blow up and think about how to respond and tell myself that just because these two are negative and they want company doesn't mean I have to accommodate them. I wonder sometimes if God did not do this for me instead of to me.. I know that I have very little tolerance for disrepect and rudeness but my reaction to others' bad attitudes needed to change as I know I am being prepared for something great and I am sure I am going to run across negative people and I need to be tough to endure.. thanks for all of your wisdom.
  • Hi Kelly,

    Thanks for your note. God is preparing you for something, so perhaps this is part of His training process for you. I hope things improve with your teenager who is testing you. They do go through cycles. As for the other person who continues to insult you and question your integrity, as long as you tolerate that behavior, it will continue. I am not sure what your options are, but those types of people will hurt you both personally and professionally. I wish you well in working through everything.
  • kellymcgillsherrell
    Thanks so much Todd.. Unfortunately it is my husband but I do not tolerate it even though it is often hard to hear I just keep hoping he will finally relax and trust and in the meantime I avoid any confrontation with him and get away as soon as it begins and respond with love instead of being offended,, It is not constant as sometimes are wonderful but I try and prepare myself and stay away from subjects that are loaded if you know what I mean.. I am a self motivater and self encourager and cling to the old Rugged Cross most of the time but I have friends like you and many many people in my life whom I love and love me and keep me going.. thanks again.. kelly
  • Kelly, thanks for sharing. I applaud your attitude. As long as you cling to the Rugged Cross and keep positive and encouraging friends, you will do great! Have a great week.
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