The 12 Fastest Ways to Build Rapport (Part 1)

Posted on April 8th, 2010 by Todd Smith - View Comments |

Read Part 2

One of the keys to my success as an entrepreneur has been my ability to quickly build rapport with people. This was especially important when I was a realtor as I generally had less than one hour to get a seller to like and trust me enough to employ my services.

In this two part series, I will share with you 12 ways you can accelerate the rapport building process. These methods can be used during your next job interview, when you meet with a prospective client or at the next social event you attend. Essentially, they can be used in any situation to quickly build relationships.

If you have been following my daily blog posts, you have learned about these lessons when I covered them individually, but in today’s lesson I want to highlight their value in quickly building rapport with people you’ve never met.

1. Be On Time—When you are on time for a scheduled meeting, call or appointment you demonstrate your respect for people’s time. You also show that you honor your commitments, you are dependable and can be trusted. When you are late, you do the exact opposite and undermine your ability to quickly build a valued relationship.

Starting today, make it a point to arrive five minutes early for all your business and personal appointments.

2. Look Good—The first impression you make on people creates a lasting impression and it begins with the way we look. A good appearance includes the way you groom yourself and the clothing and jewelry you wear. All these little things combine to form your overall “look.”

If you want to make a great first impression, make sure you look like someone who takes pride in your appearance. Yes, it requires a little extra effort, but it is worth it.

3. Smile—When you meet people for the first time, the first thing they are going to notice is your overall look, but then their attention will immediately go to your face. If you offer a warm, welcoming and sincere smile, they will be instinctively drawn to you. The key with your smile is to show an authentic interest in the other person, rather than the standard half-hearted smile that almost everyone uses.

Not only should you focus on your smile when you first meet a person, but you also want to focus on smiling during your time together. The more you smile, the more people will like you.

4. Make Eye Contact—When you are engaged in a conversation with someone, make sure you maintain comfortable eye contact with this person. When you make eye contact, focus on communicating your sincere interest in the person, rather than just starring into his or her eyes. It’s a small, but powerful distinction.

5. Your Handshake—The impression you make on people through your handshake influences how they feel about you. A proper handshake is even more important when meeting people for the first time. The manner in which you extend your hand, the degree of firmness and the timing demonstrate your poise and confidence and will inevitably set the tone for your relationship.

Men, when you meet other men, be the first to offer your hand. When meeting women, wait for them to offer their hand. Women, when you meet both men and women in a business environment, immediately offer a firm handshake. Men and women who initiate a handshake are generally viewed as being confident.

6. Make Your Welcome Greeting Stand Out—The key here is to take 10 seconds and make them feel like the most important person on this earth. Most people simply shake a person’s hand and say the standard, “nice meeting you”, so this is your chance to stand out from the crowd as someone who is truly pleased to meet them.

If you will be intentional about working on these six points, you will definitely make a positive impression on everyone you meet and you will stand out from the crowd as someone who cares. In tomorrow’s lesson I will share six more tips to accelerate the rapport building process.

You can be successful in achieving any goal that is important to you, if you will focus on the little things that matter.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

To read part 2 click here

The Importance of Being on Time

The Power of Your Smile

The Fundamentals of Eye Contact

Handshakes Really Do Matter

Make Your Appearance an Asset

How Likable Are You

Tags: Entrepreneurship, Relationships

alexday

Yes. Definitely look your best. I am a middle school teacher. I only wear jeans and a school t-shirt on Fridays. Otherwise it is slacks and a dress shirt or polo. People pick up on how serious you are based on how you dress.
Todd Smith

Hi Alex- In my post on appearance I shared a story that illustrates your point. When you look good, people do take you more serious. Thanks!
donnabrewer

Good Morning Todd, as always this was a very important, but sometimes taken for granted lesson. I believe people respond to us positively when our rapport is genuine. They feel and know it instinctively. Yes, these little things do matter ,and can and will determine our success in general. How we feel about ourselves, conveys how our rapport with the people we meet will be. Thank you again, Donna Brewer
Todd Smith

Hi Donna- The key take-a-way word in your comment is "Genuine". That is the key! I do also agree that how we feel about ourselves gets projected in our conversations. Thanks for your contribution to this post.
Ernesto Busnelli

Good tips. Thank you for another day with good pointers.
#2 is something I understood lately. I never cared too much about looks before and I never cared too much about people who cared about looks but..... I did not realize that most of my associations were with broke and frustrated people. So the time to change who I am going to be influenced by came along.
#4 is still a challenge since I was always elusive but just out of timidity.
Todd Smith

Ernesto- As Jim Rohn said, "You are the average of your five closest friends". If you hang around successful people, you will see they take pride in how they present themselves. People who aren't successful don't take pride.

The key with any point where you are struggling is to be intentional and work on it every opportunity you have. Remember, success comes from small daily improvements!

Have a great day!
GeordieJohn

Good morning Todd,

I've commented on your 'Importance of Being on Time' post regarding the timekeeping element of first impressions already, but something this post makes me think about is the difference in business cultures between the UK and US.

In my UK experience, even in very relaxed companies, meetings were scheduled and began on time, very few people ever showed up late, and very rarely was a meeting held up because of them. In the US, i find even the meeting organizers frequently show up late, or not at all.

I started to 'explain' some differences in how people dress for business in the workplace between the UK and US, but in doing so it started sounded like a whine rather than an observation; when all i wanted to highlight was the more relaxed sense of dress code in the US to the UK, even in the business world.

That said, what i enjoy about LittleThingsMatter.com most of all, oddly enough, is the attention you give to the little things, and by attention i mean the depth you go into explaining why these things matter, the times they apply, and so on.

Thanks
John
Todd Smith

Hi John- Thanks for your comment. One of the things I think about almost every day is what you pointed out about people getting sloppy here in the U.S. This provides a great opportunity for those people who will strive for excellence in their careers, because it is so rare. The market place puts a high value on those individuals who take pride in their work. I appreciate your contribution. I hope to meet you some day!
Tara

Regarding #6. "Make Your Welcome Greeting Stand Out" What are some ways you suggest making your greeting stand out besides saying "Nice to Meet You?"
Todd Smith

Hi Tara- In response to your question it could be saying something like, "It is really nice to meet you Joe. Mary has been very complimentary of you. I am thankful for this opportunity to meet you." Obviously every situation is different, but the goal make your greeting stand out. The key is saying whatever you say with sincerity, so that you appear as someone who really is grateful to have had the opportunity to meet the other person. Even if you say, "Nice meeting you", say it in such a way where you sound like it really is nice meeting them.

Thanks for your question! I hope my response helps!
KJ Kilroy Was Here Networking!

Hello Todd,
The first six points seem very basic. Basically important is what they are. My motto has always been...“If you can’t be on time, be early.” - K.J. Kilroy Was Here!
_m_('U')_m_
Kevin J. Kilroy
Todd Smith

Hi Kevin- Thanks for stopping by to network. What does _m_("U")_m_ mean?
KJ Kilroy Was Here Networking!

_m_('U')_m_
Kilroy Was Here Networking...Hello Todd, that symbol is just an abstract of Kilroy looking over a fence lol..."You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself" - Jim Rohn...I'm Just A Guy Who Was Here There & Everywhere...