70 of the Dumbest Things You Should Never Say or Ask

On a recent Little Things Matter Facebook post I listed four questions you should never ask someone and encouraged readers to have some fun by adding theirs to my list. Well, fun we had. 128 comments later, I was laughing so hard that that I had tears in my eyes. Here are the top 70 things you should never say or ask. Hope they bring a smile to your face.

THINGS YOU NEVER SAY TO OR ASK A WOMAN:

1. Asking an overweight woman, when are you due?

2. When are you going to have that baby; seems like you’ve been pregnant forever (as she turns around with a baby in her arms!)

3. Are “those” real? – diamonds, hair color, nails and whatever else comes to your mind.

4. How old are you?

5. Honey, is that what you’re wearing tonight?

6. Do you know that outfit makes you look fat?

7. Which ex-husband?

8. Asking an older woman with a younger man, is that your son?

9. Have you had cosmetic surgery?

10. You look tired.

11. How much do you weigh?

12. Are you mad at me?

13. If the woman is with an older guy, is that your dad?

14. You’re really not going to eat all of that, are you?

15, Did you look in the mirror before you left the house?

16. What did I do wrong?

17. How much longer before you’re ready?

18. Hey lady, that’s a big foot; what’s your shoe size?

19. Are you wearing makeup?

20. I thought you were a blond, brunet, red head…

21. Have you put on some weight since I saw you last?

22. You are starting to get some facial hair.

THINGS YOU NEVER SAY TO OR ASK A MAN:

23. Asking a guy with a younger woman, is she your daughter?

24.Asking a guy with an older woman, is that your mom?

25.Which ex-wife?

26.What should I wear tonight?

27.Does this dress make my rear end look fat?

28.Do you really love me?

29.If you love me, prove it!

30.Are you a jerk to everyone you meet or just me?

31.What are you thinking?

32.To a bald guy, what happened to your hair?

33.Have you had a hair transplant?

THINGS YOU NEVER ASK A CHILD:

34.When are you going to grow up?

35. Are you a boy or a man?

36. Why do you act that way?

THINGS YOU NEVER SAY TO OR ASK A FRIEND:

37. How’s your sex life?

38. Have you put on weight?

39. Who are you and what have you done with my friend?

40. Did you pay to have your hair done that way?

41. What does the doctor say about that?

42. How much money do you make?

43. Do you think my husband’s sexy?

44. Wow, are you sure you want that dessert?

45. How many times have you been married?

46. Are you going to eat all that?

47. Why didn’t you invite ME?

48. Is that real or a knock off?

49. Where did you learn to speak English? (turns out the person was born in the US)

OTHER DUMB THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY OR ASK:

50. What’s your sign?

51. When are you going to have kids?

52. When are you going to get married?

53. Why are you still single?

54. To a male nurse, when are you going to make doctor?

55. To someone who stutters, just spit it out.

56. To a patient in the emergency room, hey, how’s it going?

57. When you eat something and say it’s awful and then ask, do you want a bite?

58. How much did that cost you?

59. If someone tells you they are on a diet, does it work?

60. Is your child a boy or a girl?

61. Is this your grandchild?

62. Why do you always do that?

63. Asking, “What happened?” when learning of someone’s death. Instead just say “Sorry!”

64. Will you be using your senior discount?

65. What’s your credit rating?

66. What religion are you?

67. Did you pray about that?

68. Asking, “What’s happened?” when learning about a tragic event in someone’s life.

69. If you meet a Korean or Japanese person, are you Chinese?

70.If someone has a skin condition or a facial deformity, is there a treatment for that?

Pretty funny stuff, huh? And yet there’s a serious lesson in all of this. My biggest take-a-way from all these comments is that words have power. They can inspire, heal or make us laugh or they can make us cry, harm or destroy. If you think before you speak, you’ll have a much greater chance of building and sustaining relationships.

From this day forward, let me encourage you to think about the words that come out of your mouth and how they may make others feel.

Parents, let me encourage you to discuss some of the examples in this post with your children. As you know, this is not taught in school.

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.” – Plato

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts.

Related Posts:

How Likable Are You?

Whats Your Brand?

Who Do I Have to Become to Get What I Want?

To Earn Respect You Must Show Respect

Our Lives are a Mirror Image of the Little Decisions We Make

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  • Susanjcallahan
    I would like to add my pet peeve.

    Do you mind? Do you mind if I ask (a rude, improper question)? If you have to ask, I probably do mind.
  • Hi Susan- Thanks for your contribution on my post on the dumbest things not to say. I agree with your comment. Todd
  • Maxinquaye7
    "23. Asking a guy with a younger woman, is she your daughter?"

    really? i think the usual response to that is a broad grin and a high five.
  • You are right in some cases. I have a friend with a gal and he is asked if she is his daughter frequently. I know he doesn't mind, but to her it is just a reminder that she is with a much older guy. Thanks for your comment. Todd
  • seriously?
    When I worked on a political campaign, I was asked frequently if the candidate was my father. I suppose it's still odd to people to see young women interested in politics!
  • Hi Seriously- Thanks for your contribution. Congratulations for your interest in politics at a young age. Todd
  • guest
    Funny how the list for guys is short and how many of the questions in that list are self-centric and steeped in insecurity. :)
  • I hadn't considered your observation. Most of the people on the Little Things Matter Facebook page are women (67%) and most of the comments came from them. Thanks!
  • Mnm039
    I think one that should be included for females is the counterpart of the male nurse question. Upon seeing a woman in scrubs, "Are you a nurse?" or to a female who just told you she was in MEDICAL school "What kind of nurse are you going to be?" or to a woman in scrubs who just walked into your hospital room "Nurse, could you please...?"
  • Thanks for your contribution!
  • Cheryl Taul
    Many years ago I was approached by a man that asked me if I was pregnant. (I was not overweight) With a horrid look on my face, I asked him, "Why?" He said that women with fat calves were usually pregnant. (My calves were muscular) Well, I figured since he didn't have any social graces, I wouldn't test him with his temper eiter, if I was to tell him what I thought about him. I just gave him a look of disgust, shook my head and walked away.
  • Hi Cheryl- Thanks for your comment. I continued to be amazed with people's lack of social etiquette and common sense. I hope you are enjoying your weekend. Todd
  • Surprised
    My mother died 3 weeks after being diagnosed with cancer and I saw an acquaintance who had known and liked my mom. She said "I heard about your mom." I said "Yes, it was quite a shock." She said "Well did you think she was going to live forever?" I was quite non-plussed
  • Hi Surprised- Thanks for taking your time to comment. A post like this reminds us all of the importance of being careful with what we say. I am sorry to hear about your mom. Todd
  • The ones that touch me personally right now are
    "66. What religion are you?
    67. Did you pray about that?"
    I do not share the same faith as most of my coworkers and feel like I have to stay in the shadows about it to avoid a hostile work environment. It gets difficult when I get asked "Why don't we ever see you in the prayer circle?" My generic response is that my beliefs don't entirely correspond with those of the group. This gets them off my back without having to expose the entirety of what I believe. I am not ashamed of my faith; I just prefer to keep my workplace a civil place and there are those here that would probably cause problems if they knew my views on spirituality.
    Thank you for this list.
    Blessed Be!
  • Hi Rose- Sorry for my delay in responding to your comment. I have been in the back country of Alaska with my family and haven't had internet access. I applaud you in the way you have handled the situation you described. Sounds like an interesting place to work. :-) Thanks for taking your time to contribute to this post. Todd
  • Jenny
    Thanks for adding "Did you pray about it?" I'm an atheist and I always feel extremely awkward when somebody asks me that or tells me to "pray about it."
  • Oh, don't forget "We just have to let Jesus handle it!"
  • HI Jenny- Thanks for sharing your comment. Not only does it bug an atheist, but it also bugs those who do pray. I think it is safe to say, it bugs everyone. :-) Have a great day!
  • Louise
    I don't think it's safe to say that it bugs everyone (in fact I know that it's not), but I do think we have to be thoughtful and respectful of the beliefs of others in conversation.
  • Louise- Thanks for your comment. I agree that it does not bug 100% of the people. I was more referring to the fact that it bugs both believers and non-believers. Thanks for making me clarify my position. I appreciate you taking your time to comment. Todd
  • Gabrielae531
    I always thought that we should never ask about "religion or politic"
    Gabriela
  • Lois
    Thank you for the words of advise on what to say and what not to say. I come from a family of *I wish I did not say that*. I have said some things to people that sounded ok at the time, and I find out later how it hurt that person. My sister and I have made it part of our daily *excerise* to watch what we say, because we do not like to *eat* the bad later.
  • Hi Lois- Thanks for your contribution. I too have said things that I thought were fine, then found out later I hurt someone. I am learning to listen more and talk less and that is certainly helping. Thanks!
  • HAHAHA, amazing.
  • Todd,

    You are too funny! Thanks for making me laugh. I'm sure if I share some of these "Do Not Ask Questions" with my children they will reply with the question "Why Not?".

    I hope your wife has a wonderful Mothers Day!

    Dana Prieur
  • Hi Dana- I think these are some great lessons to share with your children. I can't tell you how many times I stuck my foot in my mouth. :-)

    I hope you had a great Mother's Day!
  • Hello Todd,
    My five things you shouldn't say to a woman in Las Vegas was removed. They must of been right on target. I guess some things shouldn't even be in print. Three out of the five were things I actually heard people say in the casinos.

    “I offend easily and we’re not talking about me, it’s others I tend to offend.”
    - K.J. Kilroy Was Here!


    Wording Things Properly,
    Kevin J. Kilroy
  • Hi Kevin- I can image all the things you have heard in Vegas over the years. :-)

    Since I want to appeal to the youth I removed your post. I felt some of the things might fall into the rated R category. They were funny thou.
  • That was a very good decision Todd. I just couldn't resist pushing the envelope. It is not often one gets the opportunity to say what shouldn't be said.

    Knowing How Low We Can Go,
    Kevin J. Kilroy
  • Ernesto_Busnelli
    Good consolidation. The list could go on forever really.
    Did you fall? to someone who is on the ground and grabbing a knee or whatever.
    What kind of a foreigner accent is that?
    Love the Plato quotation.
  • Hi Ernesto- Yes you are right the list could go on forever! Thanks!
  • donnabrewer
    Good morning Todd, thank you again for a most valuable lesson. Yes, words are powerful and can "make or break" individuals. Your saying from "Plato" says it all. We can all learn from these profound words. Have a wonderful weekend, and many blessings to you and your family. Donna Brewer
  • Hi Donna- Thanks for your continued support of my posts!
  • Great post Todd. Everything we say has some impact, and we must be so conscious of that fact!
  • Hi Kelly- You are right. Everything we say does have an impact small or large. Thanks!
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