One of The Most Powerful Things You Can Say

One of my favorite quotes comes from the extraordinary public speaker, Robert Cavett.  Robert said, “Three billion people on the face of the earth go to bed hungry every night, but four billion people go to bed every night hungry for a simple word of encouragement and recognition.” My heart goes out to those who are starving to be noticed, valued and appreciated.

In yesterday’s post I talked about the importance of recognizing and encouraging yourself because you can’t expect to be recognized or encouraged by others.  Very few people make the effort to say positive and uplifting things to others but those who do stand out like the light of a freight train in a dark tunnel.

When you encourage others, you lift their spirits, enhance their self-confidence and add fuel to their motivational fire. Perhaps more than anything you give them hope and inspiration. Wow, if simple words of encouragement can do so much to enhance someone’s life, why don’t we all do more of it? How long could it take? 10 seconds?

The power of a compliment

I went fishing a couple weeks ago with an acquaintance of mine. I really don’t know Kevin very well as he is a friend of one of my friends.  Kevin greeted me with a huge smile and said, “The last time I went fishing with you, you said one of the nicest things anyone has every said to me.”  A little surprised, I asked him what he meant.  He explained that I paid him a huge compliment when I told him how well he fought and eventually caught that 55-pound Amberjack.

Wow! I didn’t remember giving him this accolade but he remembered! Not only did he remember; he remembered it 10 months later.  Who would have thought such a little unintentional statement would make such a lasting impression?

Recognizing and encouraging others

While I have my theories about why most people find it difficult to pay someone a compliment or take the time to give a person some positive reinforcement, the point is they don’t. The crazy thing is, it is something we can do in less than 10 seconds, but yet has the potential to make a lasting impression.

How about taking the time to make someone’s day? Be intentional about looking for the good in others and telling them what you see. Even the people who you think don’t need to hear an encouraging word, need one.  In fact, they may be the people who need to hear it the most.

Do you have a spouse or significant other who needs a few words of encouragement?

Do you have a child who aspires to win a race or be accepted to a certain college?

Perhaps your friend is down in the dumps and a word of encouragement from you is all they need to change their mood.

Remember, what you give, you get in return.  When you begin to look for the good in others, it’s only natural they will begin to look for the good in you.

My challenge to you

When you see people working hard to reach a goal, take 10 seconds to encourage them.  If you have seen progress in their pursuit, tell them what you have observed.  Your words of encouragement may be just what they need to keep their dreams alive.

Phrases like “You’re doing great job”, “keep up the good work” or “you rock!” will go a long way in making a difference in someone’s outlook.

Make sure your words communicate your genuine feelings.  While the words themselves are powerful, the feelings behind the words are what will be remembered.

Here is my double challenge to you.  Before going to bed tonight, will you find three people to encourage, recognize or compliment?  Just three!  Will you do it?

If you want to see how your words can impact others, watch the award winning film with more than 3.5 million You Tube views called Validation.  It is the BEST short film I have ever seen.  If you can’t watch it now, save this post and return to it when you have 17 minutes.  If you have children, watch it with them.

When you look for the good in others and tell them what you see, you will lift their spirits, enhance their self-image and make a lasting impression.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

Related Posts:

36 Ways to Make a Positive Impression in Less Than 10 Seconds

How Likable Are You?

What’s Your Brand?

The Power of Showing Your Appreciation

10 Simple Ways to Show Your Sincere Interest in Others

12 Attributes, Values and Skills of a 360-degree Leader

Living Beyond Ourselves

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  • Anthony Beach

    You Rock! Love it......use it every day of the week! Happy New... Todd and friends
    Tony Beach

  • Thanks Tony! Glad you liked this post. Todd

  • Sharafat

    Smith,

    You are awesome! Let me tell you, I had a fight with one of my good friends and we stopped talking. We both stay in our university hostel but in two separate rooms. We have been living together for the past one and a half years. We are classmates and spend most of our time together. But this rift (due to some ego and misunderstanding from both sides) led us not to talk and this is the 3rd day. I tried talking to him and posted some comments in facebook which went like this" To some of my good friends on the experience I had "Sometimes the littlest thing in life changes something forever and there will be times when you wish you can go back to how things used to be but you just can't because things have changed so much.".....Is that me to regret or that is you to ponder upon??please advice my friend.".

    Today, when I saw your post (One of The Most Powerful Things You Can Say
    ) I really thought I am going wrong. I started watching ‘Validation’ from youtube. After watching for 5 minutes I felt bad about myself and did a text to my friend which went like this " Dear Danu, this is the third day. Why are you doing this to me? I can't live like this. You are great and I have always loved you. I just told you to read my comment on facebook, it was not a bad written thing. You humiliated me by doing this. Today, I came to your room to say you sorry and to hug you but you turned your face and slept, did not even see me, ignored. I also felt bad when you threw the money on me which you owed in front of others. Now, it is you to decide whether you take a friend as a friend or not or else Satan will win (will laugh at us).You won't lose much. Just a friend from your list will be eliminated. I always apreciate you, your work, you rock and remember you look handsome when you smile.Luv you hamesha (always). Your friend, Sharfu (he calls me Shrafu).

    Smith, you see the magic, I experienced. He replied momentarily saying "Ok, I love you too but we are yet to hug each other. Come back from work soon we will hug each other"

    I am so excited and happy. I have taken chocolates for him and I am thankful to Almighty and you who came like an ‘angel’ to me and put everything back to track.

    Thank you very much Smith. I am a regular reader of your post and my fried Lisa has told me about you, who is in Florida. I am an Indian, writing from India.

    Thanks again
    Sharafat Hussain

  • Hi Sharafat,

    I am so happy for you. I hope you get a big hug when you get together. :-)

    Thanks for being a loyal reader!

    I wish you the best,

    Todd

  • Sharafat

    Thanks..Todd.

  • Bill

    Todd, another great lesson. Your "little things" are making a big impression on my thinking, beliefs and actions. Thanks for the mentoring. Cavett Roberts, a name I haven't hear for some time. I loved listening to his tapes about "Human Engineering". Someone should repackage his material and make it available again.

  • Hi Bill,

    Thanks for your comments. It's nice to know that the time I am taking writing these posts really are helping people.

    I will suggest to my friends at Success Books to looking into repackaging Cavett's materials.

    Thanks,

    Todd

  • Todd - I couldn't agree with you more. This post is right on target and very much in line with what I do as a transition coach. Your positive energy is contagious. Thank you!

  • Hi Patti- Thanks for stopping by to comment! Your support is appreciated.

  • Jennipher Hau

    Challenge accepted! Thanks for the wonderful reminder. I agree Validation is one of the best short films out there!

  • Alright Jennipher- I hope you have complimented and encouraged a lot of people since last Friday! :-)

  • Hello Todd,
    Another great article! Over the weeks that I have been reading your blog I have "little things matter" imprinted on my brain everyday. I feel I do a lot of the things you write about but this has just heighten my awareness...and nudged me to do more...be more.

    On Memorial Day everywhere I went I made sure to thank the people that were assisting me....telling them I appreciated them for working on a holiday so I could enjoy the time with my family. The cashier at Publix got tears in her eyes when I said that, she had been feeling bad because she was not with her family...it meant a lot that someone appreciated her! Everyone from the clerk at the gas station, the server at the restaurant to the guard at the gatehouse were all surprised that anyone even noticed and I think they may have even thought me a little strange.
    I plan on doing this everytime now when I have to use anyones services on a holiday...and it costs me nothing!
    Thanks so much, have a great weekend!

  • Hi Darlene- I loved reading your contribution about how you were intentional about letting people know you appreciated them on Memorial Day! That is awesome! Just think. It made them feel good and made you feel good. How good is that? It's the little things. I admire how you are striving and pushing yourself to do more and be more. Great job!

  • Great Morning Todd,
    I know you aren't fishing for a compliment but the little things you do make an ocean of difference to those of us that enjoy the catch of the day.

    The tough part of this new challenge will be only doing two more meaningful validations before I go to bed tonight.

    Making My Stamp Of Approval,
    Kevin J. Kilroy

  • Kevin- I always enjoy reading your comments. I love your creativity.

  • Todd,

    This morning I had put out an outfit for my 7 year old daughter to wear. While I was making breakfast she had walked into the kitchen wearing something completely different. She noticed the surprised expression on my face and explained that she could not wear what I had picked because she would get teased by a girl in her class who is labeled "A Bully". I told her the first thing she should do when she see's this girl is to compliment her on what she's wearing because that's probably what she needs to hear!

    I will definitely make sure I watch the validation film with my kids and take you up on your challenge. In my business I teach people the importance of "Acting on Promptings", a prompting is a thought that enters your mind to express appreciation, encouragement and recognition to another human being. We all have these promptings yet so many of us choose to ignore them. If we just take the time to act on them amazing things will happen in both our personal and business lives. Thank you Todd for encouraging us to act on our promptings!

    I have something I'd love to mail to you, so if it's OK with you Todd, could you send me your physical mailing address to my email at dana.prieur@sympatico.ca, I'd really appreciate that. This was a great post today Todd, YOU ROCK!

    When people ask me if I have a Mentor, I say "Yes I do, his name is Todd Smith".

    Make it a great day!

    Dana

  • Hi Dana- You are exactly right about the bully. That bully just needs to hear some encouraging words. Did your daughter compliment the bully?

    I love your contribution about "Acting on Promptings." My wife does this all the time. Great advice.

    Thanks for referring to me as a mentor. I think that is one of the best compliments anyone has given me. Thanks!

    You know what is funny? We have never met, but when I read your messages I see a happy person.

    Thanks Dana!

    Todd

  • Read "Whale Done! The Power of Positive Relationships by Ken Blanchard, Thad Lacinak, Chuck Tompkins, and Jim Ballard recently. It's an easy read and full of great advice in the same vein as this post. I have noticed that when you actually do this, there is a definite positive response. So, why is it so difficult to follow through? Got to do better.

  • Thanks Michael for your contribution!

  • WOW...the Validation video!!!!!!!!!! Life changing!!!

  • Tiffany- Now you can see why I like that video so much! Thanks!

  • Ahhh, great! We are on our way to improve the world big time with this community.
    It is so true. Someone I met 20 years ago (Joan) said 2 of the craziest things: she was talking about a third party (Becky) envying something about Becky so I asked her if she had complimented Becky on it... Joan response was: What and give her the satisfaction? Hummm I scratched my head.
    Then she was poking at me with something and I asked her to stop her behavior or else...
    She said: I just like to irritate others. Joan is not even an acquaintance anymore but that is another subject.
    The point is... some just really love to damage and dent others. Recognition and a "sincere" compliment is something rare that should not be. These people also teach us a lesson. They teach us what to steer clear from.
    Thank you for another week with great articles.

  • Hi Ernesto- One of the things my step-father said was, "No one is worthless. They can always be used as a bad example." While that is harsh, the point is that we can learn a lot about what NOT to do when watching others. I am excited to see the growth in you over the last four months. Great observations!

  • Todd,

    Indeed, YOU ROCK.

    Good behavior/actions/qualities should be appreciated but tackling negative is more tricky and important.......

    Peace & Blessings :)

  • Hi Amer- You Rock Too! Peace and Blessings!

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