Be Open to the Ideas of Others

Today, we will be exploring the hidden value in the opinions of others, and I urge you to be open-minded and receptive as you read this blog.  This is capable of affecting your potential for better on a number of different levels.

Opinion can be defined as a thought, a view, or a concept formed in the mind about a particular subject.  It’s a conclusion or belief held with confidence but not substantiated by positive proof or knowledge. Because of this, many people are fearful of accepting someone else’s opinion. Elizabeth Cady Stanton—an activist and leader of the early women’s rights movement— said, “The moment we begin to fear the opinion of others…the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.”

Three Categories of Thinkers

Over the years, I have found that when it comes to being receptive to ideas and perspectives other than their own, most people gravitate toward one of these tendencies:

  • A need for the opinions of others. These individuals have not yet learned to value their own ideas and viewpoints. They are especially vulnerable to being swayed by others. When asked, they have a hard time expressing their own beliefs and convictions.
  • A rejection of the opinions of others. People in this category are generally high achievers who have worked very hard to get where they are in life. For some they view not having all the answers as a weakness, and their ego guards against this by rejecting the ideas of others. For others their egos are so big, they think they know it all, and just aren’t open to the ideas of others. If they do listen, they place little value on what’s being said.
  • An interest in the opinions of others.  Striking a balance between those who rely too heavily on the ideas of others and those who reject the opinions of others, these individuals welcome collaboration and actively seek it out.  They understand the benefits of the wisdom that comes from the life experiences of others. These people would participate well on any type of team.

What’s important to realize is that whatever your natural tendency may be, it is possible to learn to appreciate the ideas of others. When you do, you’ll find that your ability to envision and implement new ideas will flourish and you’ll build stronger relationships in the process.  Let’s take a look at how this works.

Be Willing

Changing the way you prefer to do something is always hard. At first, anything new may feel unnatural or artificial, and you may be anxious to see the results. Therefore, the first steps in learning to appreciate the ideas of others is believing that others can contribute something worthwhile, listening intentionally to them, and perhaps even changing your way of thinking. Knowing that the rewards will benefit you should help keep you motivated.

Be Patient

Letting others influence your plans and thought process with their ideas isn’t something that happens all at once.  One way to begin is to identify one specific decision or project on which you will seek and consider some outside opinions.  As you do, be aware of your natural defenses and give some thought as to how you will respond.

For example, what will you do if someone else’s idea requires you to reconsider a core element of your plan, such as a key marketing strategy?   One suggestion is to ask questions to understand their intentions and learn as much as you can about the new idea. Do this until you have all the information you need for a full consideration.

Be Receptive

Listening to others or reading about the opinions of others can be valuable tool, aiding in your research, adding to your knowledge, and enriching your life and performance.

Elbert Hubbard—an American philosopher, voluminous writer, and publisher of the 19th century—gives us good reason why we should be receptive to the opinions of others.  He wrote, “The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge.”

Be Respectful

Respecting the views and opinions of others is a vital life skill. Realize that their opinions have been formed by their experiences different than your own. Never tell someone that he or she is wrong.  Bo Bennett says that doing that is “effective communication suicide.”

Be Reflective

On the heels of having been intentional about considering the ideas of others, take some time to consciously reflect on the process. What worked well? What would you change next time? Perhaps most importantly, what did you learn? Don’t limit your definition of new knowledge to what is tangible. Consider too what you learn along the way about yourself and the people with whom you interact.

If you find that you have a tendency to reject others’ ideas or you do not take the time to listen because you are always too busy, now is a perfect time to make a decision to be more receptive. Trust me when I say, “It’s well worth the effort!”

Taking the time to listen to and understand others’ ideas is not only a desirable character trait that reflects positively on you, but it also enables you to learn new things and expands your capacity to think creatively.

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About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

Related Posts:

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12 Attributes, Values and Skills of a 360-degree Leader

10 Simple Ways to Show Your Sincere Interest in Others

10 Ways To Be A Good Listener

When It’s Time To Learn, Shut Up And Listen

Living Beyond Ourselves

People Are As Different As They Look

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  • Todd,

    Well said my friend. I know first hand that that you practice what you preach regarding being open to the ideas of others.

    Stay blessed,

    Ced
  • HI Ced- It is always great hearing from you. It is through the ideas of others that I have been able to expand what I know. Thanks!
  • Ernesto_Busnelli
    Excellent subject. I do ask for people's opinions all the time being
    conscious of "everyone's" limitations and I am not exception of course
    I love hearing somebody else's perspective based on their life experience
    and eye ware color. Unfortunately many people take asking for other's insight as doubtfulness and lack of self assurance. Go figure.
  • HI Ernesto- The quality people in your life will appreciate knowing you value their opinions. Those are the people that matter. I hope you are planning a fun upcoming weekend. Take care!
  • Cdimaggio
    It is easier to listen to the opinion of others when they first establish their genuine interest in helping you and you have a relationship built on mutual trust. And it helps if they ask permission to offer advice by asking "Are you open to suggestions?"
  • Cdimaggio- Agreed! Thanks for your contribution.
  • donnabrewer
    Good morning Todd, another great lesson. While listening, my mind thought of how we as individuals, sometimes forget how valuable input from another can be in different senerios. I have a friend who appears to not be able to take any valid suggestions I may offer in "any situation". We are very close, and she is a great person, however when in a converstation, and sharing something with her, the reply is always " oh I knew that or I know that." It appears that I have nothing new that I can share with her, and she expresses to me, I believe maybe not realizing it, that she's smarter than I am and I could not possibly teach her anything new. When we are conversing I'm always pretty much open to learning something new when the conversation is along those avenues. This is very frustrating on my part, and tells me she has a insecurity issue somewhere. We all have issues within ourselves, however I'm not quite sure how to handle this, as I'm her son's nanny as well as her close friend. Thank you for any suggestions , Donna Brewer
  • Hi Donna- You are right. People who act like that generally are insecure. My advice is to let it go. Todd
  • Hi Todd,
    thanks again for your amazing post. The three categories of thinkers and their definitions are very helpful. And the job is to find the right balance, like always in life. I find it hard sometimes to find the "right" people when I want and/or need to make major corrections in my life. It's not about finding people that support you blindly and approve everything you come up with, but it also isn't about people that question everything that is new and "weird" in their minds. There's also a kind of balance to be looked for.
    Take care
    Oliver
  • Oliver- You are exactly right. There are a lot of people who will support you blindly. The people's who's input I value most are those who offer valuable insights and help me in making better decisions. Have a great day!
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