It’s a Small World

As they waited to be called into the courtroom, two men were discussing their jury duty assignments. Both were teachers. Juror #1 relayed how glad he was that he was able to get a substitute and didn’t have to ask the assistant principal to stand in. Juror #2 complained, “The assistant principal at my school couldn’t run my class if she wanted to. She doesn’t even have her teaching credentials!”

Juror #1 sensed that he was about to get an earful so he quickly asked, “Do you by any chance work at Lakeview High School?”  Juror #2 said that he did. Juror #1 replied, “You must be talking about Elaine. She’s my wife.”

Talk about an awkward situation! Like Juror #2, too few people realize that what they say and do can offend people and will likely have a ripple effect on their lives. It may be for a week, or it may be for a lifetime.

It is a Small World After All

At the heart of today’s lesson is the reality that it is indeed a small world. What’s more, the pervasiveness of the Internet in our personal and professional lives has shrunk our world even smaller. As a case in point, I’ve seen statistics ranging from 50% to 70% relating to the percentage of employers who now Google prospective employees.

By now, everyone has heard the career advice, “Don’t burn bridges,” and “Never say anything bad about a former employer in an interview.” I would go a step further and tell you, “Do not burn bridges in any area of your life. Period!”

Consider a few of these very plausible situations:

  • The elderly person whose tire you change on the side of the road may be the brother of the chairman of the board at your company. This act of service may be the difference in getting that next promotion.
  • The hostess at your favorite restaurant whom you always treat respectfully may be the daughter of your most valued prospective client.
  • The neighbor you wave to and smile at every morning may be the person in charge of hiring for that job you really want.

On the other hand:

  • The woman at the club whom you have treated with a cold shoulder may be the wife of your husbands most important customer.
  • The man standing behind you in the grocery store who heard you being disrespectful to the cashier may be one of the business leaders on the scholarship committee at your daughter’s school.
  • The coworker you excluded and made feel unwelcome at your last job may be best friends with your new boss.

The older I get, the more of these small-world “coincidences” I see.  I have come to understand and appreciate that we live in a connected world, and these connections play a vital role in our lives.

Reputation 101

The truth is you never know who someone knows or whether they might enter your life again at a future date. Why risk alienating anyone? Besides not being a nice thing to do, it can have devastating effects on your reputation.

Every interaction you have with someone does one of two things: it helps your reputation, or it hurts your reputation. Here’s a perfect example.

One evening I was in a hurry to get home for an important call when I pulled into my residential area behind a car that was going 10 MPH in a 25 MPH zone.  I wanted to honk, yell, and flash my lights at the slow poke that was making me late for my call.  Moment after agonizing moment passed as I followed him down street after street. Still this driver did not turn off. This continued right up to my neighbor’s driveway. You guessed it. The driver was my neighbor who wasn’t feeling well that evening. As a new neighbor, I did not recognize his car.

Had I given in to my impulses and honked, or gotten irritated and sped around him, my actions could have negatively affected my neighbor’s view of me.  As a man of influence in the community, who knows what the ripple effect could have been.

Time for a Checkup

Your reputation is a life-long accumulation of your actions and your interactions with the people around you. What does your reputation say about you today? What would your neighbors, co-workers or business acquaintances say about you if they were asked for a personal recommendation?

Have you burned bridges in your past? Most of us have at one time or another, but it is possible—and advisable—to make amends. Oftentimes, when you go out of your way to restore a previously damaged relationship, you make a stronger, more favorable impression than if you were to let “sleeping dogs lie.”

Take some time today to do a self-examination of your reputation. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know right away in which areas you need to improve. And again, if you have burned a few bridges in your past, perhaps it’s time to restore some of those damaged relationships. At least make the effort. You’ll feel better about yourself and who knows, you may be doing yourself a favor. It’s a small world!

If you have any “small world” stories, please share them in the comments section below this post.

Build a personal reputation that speaks for you when you are not around.

About the Author:
Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #54 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

Related Posts:

36 Ways to Make a Positive Impression in Less Than 10 Seconds

What’s in Your Rulebook?

Our Lives are a Mirror Image of the Little Decisions we Make

How to Consistently Make Good Decisions

What’s Your Brand?

How Likable are You?

Stand Out From the Crowd

Becoming a Respected Leader

Who Do I Have To Become To Get What I Want?

The Go Givers are the Winners

The Most Important of All Human Qualities

To Earn Respect You Must Show Respect

10 Simple Ways to Show Your Sincere Interest in Others

Playing The Odds to Win

10 Rules For Social Media Marketing

What’s Your Email Brand?

Make a Good Last Impression

70 of the Dumbest Things You Should Never Say or Ask

Carefully Select the People who Influence Your Life

Being Honest With Ourselves

Do You Say Things You Later Regret?

Don’t Play Guessing Games

Do You Get Defensive?

10 Ways To Stand Out at The Next Party

I’m Sorry!

25 Unexpected Ways to Make Someone’s Day

Be Open to the Ideas of Others

The Damaging Effects of Sarcasm

Taking a Good Look in the Mirror of Truth

  • EmailEmail
  • FacebookFacebook
  • TwitterTwitter
  • StumbleUponStumbleUpon
  • DiggDigg
  • Del.icio.usDelicious
  • RedditReddit
  • GoogleBuzz
  • ShareThis

  • Seth
    You asked us to share our "small-world" stories so I've decided to share mine.

    I attended a youth trip held by my church at Troy University a long time ago. There were several dances (all of which I attended), but prior to one I sat next to an old man and struck up a conversation with him. (I'm as yet, still a teenager. I don't know if you would view the situation as odd, but I don't view it as common.) I personally hold great respect for the elders for their experience and wisdom, and I try to learn something from them if I can. Anyway, later that day, at the dance, he introduced me spontaneously to his favorite girl (who was about my age), saying I was his favorite too. A friendship was kindled between us, and we remain friends still.

    I'll mention that I intentionally tried to be kind during my conversation with him, and though I didn't realize the impression I was making, kindness had its reward.

    Very good lesson. You've hit the bullseye on this subject for me. Thank you, Todd.
  • HI Seth- I thought you were going to say she is now your wife. :-) It is a small world and you never know who people know and the relationships that will develop. Thanks for sharing your story. Todd
  • Katie Brandt
    GREAT post and example - little things matter :-)
  • Hi Katie- Thanks for your comment!
  • Hi Todd,

    great lesson. I recently read some posts about the necessity of burning bridges - and I didn't feel well with that idea. That's why I'm glad to read the opposite in a post from your desk. In Germany we have the saying:"You meet every person twice in your life." While this might be a little bit too intense, there's a certain truth too it. Especially if you abuse your power in a certain role, it might be pretty awkward if you meet the same person in reverse roles later in life.

    Thanks for sharing your valuable insights.

    Take care

    Oliver
  • Hi Oliver- Sorry for the delay in responding to your post. I think it is cool what everyone says in Germany. Thanks for your sharing your international insights. :-) Todd
  • It's scary how many different ways we can put our foot in our mouth - yet it always has the same awful taste - the taste of embarrassment.

  • donnabrewer
    Good morning Todd, thank you for today's lesson. I guess the wise old saying"if you can't say something kind about a person, say nothing at all", still applies. Our spoken word is definitely what mkes us stand out in a "positive" or "negative" light. As I've mentioned before, in my younger years, I suffered from "foot in mouth" disease. I never realized, that when someone asked for my opinion, they were not ready for the honest truth as I saw it. I was very straightforward and pulled no punches. Now that I'm older, being tactful and more kind in my responses has made a difference. I feel you can still be candid and honest, with a kinder, more gentle approach. Thank you again for this great reminder. Enjoy your weekend, Donna Brewer
  • HI Donna- I don't know how I overlooked this comment for a week. I agree with all your thoughts. Like you, I have learned a lot with each passing year of my life. Thanks for your contribution. Todd
  • I have a great story like this one. We were standing in line at the Mexican Restaurant at Disneyland and the line was really long and REALLY slow and the woman in line in front of us made the comment, "It's not normally this slow. I wonder what's taking so long."

    My wife (at the time) jokingly said "You have to flunk a test to get a job here."

    The woman said, "I work here."

    Up until that point, this joking comment was a favorite of hers. I had witnessed her using the line several times.... She never made this comment again. It was a very embarrassing moment for her and for me and awkward for all three of us standing in the crowded line at Disneyland.

    The people we interact with at any moment could be a prospective employer, partner, colleague, client or service provider. I am just glad that woman was not walking past us to go start work... vengeance might have pushed her to change the ingredients in our food.
  • Hi Daryl- Thanks for sharing your story. You are right. Of all people you don't want to joke around with are the people making your food. :-) Todd
  • Hello Todd,
    This is a lesson I definitely need to improve upon. I'm not a mean or vindictive person. "I believe in Karma I just can't remember her last name" - K.J. Kilroy Was Here!

    You guessed it; my sick sense of humor tends to get me in trouble from time to time.

    “I offend easily and we’re not talking about me, it’s others I tend to offend.”
    - K.J. Kilroy Was Here!

    My personal attitude always tends to root for the underdog. My I’m nobody but so are you belief rubs ego maniacs the wrong way. A lot of them are very successful people. Most of them agree that I’m half right.

    “Many can handle failure, but few can handle success so always strive to be one of few than one of many.” - K.J. Kilroy Was Here!

    Too Many Big People In A Small World,
    Kevin J. Kilroy
  • Hi Kevin- I don't know how you could be offensive to people, but I guess if you are hanging out with ego maniacs anything can happen. If we hung out, I would be cracking up all the time. I love all your one liners! Have a great weekend and try not to offend anyone, just this one weekend. :-)
  • Ernesto_Busnelli
    Yup, I used to have the "so what" attitude til I realized that no man can live in a bubble.
    Your posting is good reinforcing for this subject.
  • Ernesto- The time in my life when I had the worst "so what" attitude was when I was in my late teens and early 20's. I would have been a good example of a bad example for today's post.

    I hope you and your daughter have a great weekend. Are you going painting this weekend?

    Todd
blog comments powered by Disqus