12 Ways to Make Holiday Dinners Happy Events

Family All Together At Christmas DinnerSince you will be celebrating Christmas and New Years during the next two weekends with family and friends, I want to give you a few timely reminders on what I call party etiquette. When my family makes sure to do these things at other people’s homes, our efforts are noticed and appreciated.

Consider these 12 little things when you’re invited to someone’s home this holiday season.

1.  RSVP—When you receive an invitation to an event, make it a priority to respond to the invitation ASAP even if you cannot attend. When people send invitations they expect a response in a timely manner. Don’t let your name appear on the unconfirmed list and have your host continue to wonder whether or not you are coming.

2.  Offer to come early—If you have ever hosted an event at your home, you know the amount of planning and preparation that goes into making it special for everyone. If the people hosting the event are close friends or family, offer to come early to help with the set up. Even if they don’t accept your offer, they will appreciate your asking.

3.  Call to see if they need anything—When attending a party with family or close friends, give the host a call before you leave your home and ask if there is anything you can pick up on the way. (A bag of ice or coffee creamer is often needed.) It’s a nice way to show you care and are willing to help.

4.  Arrive on time—Always strive to show up on time for personal gatherings. If it’s a dinner engagement, you certainly don’t want to be the person everyone’s waiting for while the food grows cold. Being on time shows your respect for their schedule. At the same time, don’t come early or you may catch your host unprepared for your early arrival.

5.  Take a hostess gift—When you are invited to attend a party or dinner engagement at someone’s home, it’s a nice practice to take a little gift for the host/hostess. It could be wine, candy or a fruitcake, an inspirational book, an inexpensive floral arrangement, or something as simple as a card. A little gift shows your appreciation for the effort put into the event and for being included.

6.  Lend a helping hand—When you arrive, ask if there is anything you can do to help. Often there are last minute things that need to be done and your offer will be appreciated. If there’s nothing to do, you can bet your offer will make an impression.

7.  Be friendly—Make it a point to meet and greet each guest. A warm smile, a firm handshake if appropriate, and a comment of personal interest as you repeat his or her name will help everyone feel welcome.

8.  Participate in conversation—Be a respectful listener and observer. When others are speaking, focus your attention on the person talking. Don’t interrupt. Don’t be too quick to jump into the conversation, but do participate.

If negative or critical comments are made, try to redirect the discussion. Be the voice of reason and encourage others to focus on the positives and not the negatives. These parties should be a time to celebrate and have fun.

9.  Control your alcoholic drinking—While this seems like common sense, I have seen countless people make fools of themselves by over-drinking at parties. Make the decision in advance as to how many drinks you are going to have and then use your self-control to keep from having even one more.

10.  Pitch in unasked—When you attend events with family and “close” friends, look for the things you can do without being asked. It could be picking up glasses laying around or taking out the trash that is overflowing. My wife and I have always appreciated those who pitched in to help without having to be asked. Just don’t overdo it or your host may feel uncomfortable.

11.  Help clean up—If you attend a party at someone’s home, offer to help with the clean up. If they decline your offer, simply say, “I would enjoy helping you clean up. Would you please allow me to help you?” When they accept your offer, help them clean up until the job is finished or until your host wants to take a break. If they decline your help because they would rather continue the conversation in another room, ask them again when the party is over.

12.  Express appreciation—Tell your host and hostess how much you enjoyed the party, the meal, the fellowship. Thank them for including you in the gathering. Later, send a thank-you note.

Do you have any tips? If so, share them in the comments section below this post.

I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope each of you have a memorable weekend with your friends and family. Because I will be spending time with my family next week, my next post will be the first Tuesday in January.

Often times it’s the simple acts of thoughtfulness that bring joy to others on these special occasions.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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  • Great post, Todd. How would you "pitch" this list to an introvert?

  • Hi Sasha,

    I am an extreme introvert, although most people would never know. In reviewing the list again, the lessons apply to everyone regardless of whether they are an introvert or an extrovert.

    As an introvert, some things are harder for me than they would be for an extrovert. I just have to push myself to do them.

    Todd

  • Great suggestions Todd. At the risk of being a wise guy, may I add "offer Tums and a couch to nap on after the meal" to the list? Sure makes my holiday meals more enjoyable!

    Best,
    Scott

  • Hi Scott- Yes the naps do feel good! Todd

  • Hello Todd.
    Thank you for sharing another post.
    I want to wish you and your family a
    Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous
    2011.
    Best Regards
    Ernesto

  • HI Ernesto- Thanks! 2011 is going to be a great year for Ernesto. I can feel it in my bones. Todd

  • Ha ha ha!
    Good for your bones, wish them well for me.
    Do you have pretty accurate sensing bones?
    I will make your bones correct.
    Regards
    EB

  • Happy Holidays Todd,
    I adhere to all 12 of these wonderful social gracious tips year round. Like the good former Boy Scout, I always come prepared.

    It is my habit to call 2 hours before the event and tell the hostess that I’m bored in a grocery store picking up a couple bags of ice for the party and ask if I can bring anything else over. It is a great opportunity to offer any pre party help.

    My hostess gift of choice these days are the beautiful eatable fruit flower arrangements. They look and taste as good in any spot the hostess chooses to put them.

    Since I no longer drink alcohol these days, I’m well known as the designated driver who never judges those who overdo…“The time to plan your transportation for the night is before the first drink…a happy life to all!” – K.J. Kilroy Was Here!

    _m_('U')_m_
    Kilroy Was Here Networking…Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year To All...Tis the season to give of yourself and radiate warmth around you..."As we Live we continue to Learn, As we Learn we continue to Share, As we Share we continue to Love, As we Love we continue to Live." - K.J. Kilroy Was Here!

    Another Great Year To All,
    Kevin J. Kilroy

  • Janelle Helling

    Hi Kilroy, I remembered this yesterday on our way to our daughter's Christmas Eve dinner and festivities. When I called, the one thing she'd overlooked in all the gifts and food preparation was toilet paper, so we were able to take care of that on our way through town. Thanks for a great idea -- I'll do this from now on.

  • Hello Janelle,
    Glad my rambling was of some help. Like we always say in Daytona Beach; "S*it Happens".

    Best Of 2011-2U,
    Kevin

  • Hi Kevin,

    I bet you are one of the funniest non-drinking guys at a party. You also seem like the kind of guy who is unselfish and always ready to pitch in when needed. Do you want to join us tomorrow for Christmas dinner at 7:00? We need someone to do the dishes. :-)

    Merry Christmas!

    Todd

  • Ho Ho Ho Todd,
    That was a good one. Being funny is a great communicational tool.

    “The trick to a happy successful life is to be serious without acting serious.” – K.J. Kilroy Was Here!

    Tawas The Season With Purple Fruit,
    Kevin

  • Vickianzalone

    From the hostess prospective, I always make sure that my guests are clear on the time, what to bring, if anything, what to wear and ALWAYS extend the invite to anyone they may need to bring. I really think the hosts really set the tone for the event no matter how small or big and your guests respond accordingly ! Have a wonderful Christmas !!

  • SoBlessed

    Absolutely. Preparation is always the key .. people may not just 'do it' on their own but they will almost always follow when their is someone to lead. So if you are a host/hostess still waiting for volunteers .. lead the way dear and you will not be disappointed. Merriest Merry Christmas to all.

  • Hey Vicki and So Blessed,

    I agree! Great points!

    Merry Christmas!

    Todd

  • Being the youngest out of eight children, with five of my elder siblings being sisters, I am often left out of the party planning stage. When we have family gatherings, it seems like the sister want to run the show from beginning to end. Most of the offers to help are shunned because they assume the men have no clue. Over the years I have learned to make the necessary adjustments in order to lend a hand. I am skilled in the way of manual labor, so I make sure that I assist in table setups, last minute repairs that may be needed around the house. I also help provide all entertainment. This simple task goes mostly unnoticed by many but when I see everyone having a great time, with all aspects of the gathering going smoothly. I know that I have done my part in contributing. In a nutshell I guess it’s safe to say that I take care of the “Little Things” that matter most.

  • Donald,

    I like your style. It's the little things we do that give us the edge and many of them are so small they are not recognized by most people.

    Love the personal initiative!

    I hope 2011 is your best year ever!

    Todd

  • Janelle Helling

    Good job Donald! There isn't a host or hostess alive who wouldn't appreciate someone with skills to fix a wobbly table leg, move chairs, or check out a tripped circuit breaker in the midst of dinner and party preparation. I'll bet you are one of the most welcomed guests ever!

  • Janelle Helling

    One more suggestion to keep the party enjoyable for everyone: Keep the conversation neutral and pleasant. Stay away from hot-button topics like politics and religion. This is not the time or the place to recite the latest horrible gruesome murder or progress of someone's colon cancer. When a hostess has worked and planned for weeks to create a special holiday gathering, it's selfish and bad taste to turn the energy into a negative vibe, deliberately pick fights, or to "preach" your own political or religious agenda. If I am the hostess, you WILL NOT be invited back.

  • Janelle,

    You are on a roll today! I agree!

    Thanks!

    Todd

  • Noreen

    no fruitcake. LOL

    Also be mindful when taking a dish that will be served at a party.
    ~ does it need heated. The hostess may already have the oven in use or no space for your dish. If your dish is to be served hot, heat it at home and carry it in an insulated carrier for this purpose.
    ~ does it need prepped. Sometimes there is no room in the kitchen anyway, so be mindful of that.
    ~ call ahead and see what might be offered.
    ~ call ahead and mention that you have food allergies or better yet, bring something that you CAN eat.
    ~ keep it simple. A cheese plate, dip and veggies, hummus - something that you can drop and then go, mingle, be with people.

  • Hey Noreen,

    Thanks for your tips. It's the little things! :-)

    Todd

  • Wonderful article. I love good manners. Another tip I have is: if sitting down at a party, always stand up when being introduced to someone, especially if they're older than you. (The exception used to be that if you were a woman-of-a-certain-age, you could remain seated while saying hello or shaking hands.)

  • Great contribution Anne! Thanks!

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