Monthly Archives: February 2011

The Power of Non-verbal Communication

You have no doubt heard the proverb “Actions speak louder than words.”

It’s true. Your body is a crucial part of communicating your inner feelings. Of course, we can’t communicate ideas, thoughts, and plans without words. However, the way people interpret those words is tremendously influenced by our non-verbal communication.

In her research, Dr. Isa Engleberg (Professor of Speech at Prince George College) has suggested that between 60 and 70 percent of all meaning—understanding—is derived from our body language.

What is body language? It’s a form of non-verbal communication consisting of facial expressions, eye movements, gestures, and posture. Here are a few examples:

• Face: smiling shows happiness; frowning shows disapproval.
• Eyes: attentive gaze shows interest; rolling the eyes shows disgust.
• Gestures: nodding the head shows agreement; tapping fingers on the table shows boredom or impatience.
• Posture: leaning forward shows eagerness, acceptance, or interest; slumped over shows discouragement.

The messages we send through these expressions and gestures play a key role in people’s interpretation of the words we speak, strongly influencing how we are viewed. John Locke, a British philosopher of the 1600s, said, “I have always thought the actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.”

In today’s lesson, I want to focus on the destructive consequences of unattractive body language and the negative messages we send based on our uncontrolled feelings and emotions. If you wish to communicate well, then it makes sense to understand how you can (and cannot) use your body to say what you mean.

What we see consciously

To quickly grasp the importance of this subject, consider these comments that co-workers have said. What body language signaled this response? What inner emotion was each person experiencing?

1.  “He certainly got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

2.  “I guess she didn’t get the sale yesterday.”

3.  “He must have stayed out partying last night.”

4.  “What’s she in such a huff about?”

5.  “Wow! He looks like he’s just been run over by a truck.”

All of these attention-grabbers had a negative impact on how co-workers viewed them.

What we register subconsciously

The intriguing side of body language is that what we see affects us at the subconscious level as well—meaning that we notice things intuitively without stopping to consciously think about them. What makes this disturbing is the fact that the signal we give off through our body language creates lasting images of who we are, and it influences people’s opinions of us without conscious thought.

If you harbor hard feelings or have a bad attitude, you don’t need to wonder if people know. They do, and it never reflects well on you. If you are pouting because your idea wasn’t accepted, you can be assured that everyone in the office knows, and it’s impacting their judgment of you.

The messages you allow your body to give off not only influence how you are viewed at that very moment but, when repeated over time, play a significant role in the way your brand is etched in their minds.

As an example, if something doesn’t go your way and your body language tells everyone you’re upset, people quickly detect that you’re displeased. If you appear this way every time something doesn’t go your way, then you will likely be viewed as a “big baby,” “a spoiled person,” or “mama’s boy.”

On the positive side, if you handle a challenging disagreement without appearing rattled, then people will think, “I’m impressed by the way she handled that situation.” If you continue to control your emotions and body language, then you will become known as someone who’s in control of your actions and behavior.

Recognizing destructive body signals

It’s important to recognize destructive body language so that you can become aware of the messages you are broadcasting. Remember that your posture, gestures, and mannerisms can overpower the words you speak and influence people’s assessment of you.

What body signals would convey a message for the following negative feelings?
Aggravation, frustration, disgust, depression, distraction, annoyance, skepticism.

Controlling your body language

If you want to be held in high regard, then it’s critical that you learn how to control the signals you give through your body language, especially the negative ones.

1. The first step in controlling your body language is awareness. Start paying attention to the non-verbal signals you are sending. This is not about trying to control one element of your body language, such as a specific facial expression. It’s the big-picture message you are sending that results from a cluster of indicators.

2. The second step is to control your emotions and feelings, especially your negative ones. Some of the most undesirable non-verbal messages we send stem from what Zig Ziglar called “stinking thinking.” What we choose to think about when faced with a challenging situation is a choice. The choice we make is often communicated before one word comes out of our mouths.

I want to challenge you to start being aware of the messages you are sending through your body language. Take control of your emotions and feelings and don’t allow yourself to display non-verbal language that could have a negative impact on how you are viewed.

Body language plays a significant role in all aspects of work and business as well as in relationships at home and in the community. Control your emotions and avoid those signals that can destroy the image of the person you want to become.

15 Ways to Increase Your Influence in Meetings

Meeting with groups of people is something we all experience. Whether it’s board meetings, business meetings, office meetings, church meetings, or small group meetings, you can do some simple things to build your personal brand and have your words carry more weight.

1.  Learn about the participants. If you are attending an important meeting where people will be present whom you have not yet met, learn about them in advance. Google their names, read their websites, review their LinkedIn profiles, or whatever options are available to you. How would you view someone who took the time to learn about you in advance?

2.  Dress appropriately. The way you appear in meetings will impact how you are viewed—both at the subconscious and conscious level. When you take pride in your appearance, people will regard you more seriously and will place more value in what you say.

3.  Come prepared. Before attending a meeting, review the agenda and come prepared for the discussion. Very few things reflect as negatively on meeting participants as when they are unprepared. If you are part of the presentation, come organized and ready to deliver your message with excellence.

4.  Arrive early. When you show up to meetings early, you will likely feel relaxed, comfortable, and in control. Rushing into a meeting at the last minute never feels good. Being there as people arrive allows you to greet and connect with each person individually. Showing an interest in people before the meeting makes them more receptive to what you share during the meeting.

5.  Pick a good seat. If appropriate, ask the meeting’s organizer where he or she would prefer you to sit. If the seating is open, put some thought into where you would want to sit. As an example, if you will be sitting at a rectangular table, sit at the end of the table. Not only will this allow you to easily see each person at the table, but the end seat is often associated with authority.

6.  Conceal your phone. Put your phone on the silent mode when entering any meeting and put it out of sight. Looking at your phone during a meeting is not only disrespectful, but it is also an indication that the meeting is not your priority.

7.  Listen with your whole body. One of the most effective ways to demonstrate your respect for others is to listen with interest. Give your full attention to the person speaking. Make 100 percent eye contact with each person as they speak, lean forward, and listen carefully to what they say.

8.  Never interrupt. When people are talking, give them the courtesy of finishing before sharing your thoughts. As you listen, don’t give any indication that you have something to say. If you do want to contribute something, wait for the speaker to finish. If everyone is jumping into the conversation, just signal to the person in charge that you have something to share, and then wait until you are called on.

9.  Think before you speak. One of the fastest ways to lose people’s respect in meetings is to waste their time with rambling thoughts. Ask yourself, “What is the best way for my point to be easily understood using the fewest number of words possible?” People who aren’t constantly running their mouths and who are thoughtful in what they say are those who earn people’s respect.

10.  Participate. If you are part of a meeting, it’s important to be an active participant. You can’t gain influence if you aren’t contributing value. It could be asking a question, volunteering to take the lead on one of the points discussed, clarifying a point, or simply supporting an idea.

11.  Take notes. If a topic is being discussed that falls under your area of responsibility, make notes. Don’t rely on your memory. Taking notes also indicates that you understand what’s being said and are taking your responsibility seriously.

12.  Don’t be a distraction. Whispering to the person next to you, sending notes around the table, or leaving the room to use the restroom can cause a disruption of concentration for the speaker as well as the audience. It indicates to everyone that the subject being discussed is not important to you.

13.  Include everyone when talking. When you speak, make it a point to share eye contact with each member of the group. This does not mean scanning the group. It means being intentional to make sure each person feels included.

14.  Disagree respectfully. If you have a concern about something being discussed, start by asking questions to better understand the opposing point of view. If you are still concerned, share your position in a humble and respectful manner. If things don’t go your way, control your emotions and body language.

15.  Don’t check out. If you are part of a meeting and a specific agenda item doesn’t impact you, stay attentive and involved. I can scan a room and tell who’s interested in the discussion and who’s not, and so can every other intelligent person in the room.

If you will follow these 15 tips at your next meeting, people’s respect and admiration for you will grow, your influence among the participants will be felt, your self-confidence will grow, and your value to the market will increase.

What tips can you share on this subject? What are the things people do that bug you at meetings? What are the characteristics of the people you respect at meetings? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below this post.

How you conduct yourself in meetings plays an important role in the influence you build within an organization.

Don’t Worry About What You Can’t Control

This is lesson #48 from my book Little Things Matter: 100 Ways to Improve Your Life Today.

If you are like most people, you probably spend more time worrying than you should. Worrying about job security, project deadlines, health, shrinking budgets, rising taxes, the housing market, world poverty, our children’s safety, and even the weather. Some things we can control; others we clearly cannot. The key to maintaining a positive attitude in life is to know the difference.

I heard years ago that 92 percent of the things people worry about are beyond their control.

If you are troubled about something you can control, like whether you are going to lose your job, then step up your game. Come in early, stay late, offer to work on a weekend, or volunteer to take on additional responsibilities; do anything you can think of to increase your value. If you end up losing your job, you can bet you’ll get a better reference.

If you are concerned about your health, exercise regularly, eat a well-balanced diet, and refrain from smoking.

On the other hand, if you find yourself worrying about something like the safety of your son or daughter serving in the military, whether the government is going to raise taxes, or whether the coming storm will deluge you with rain, understand that there’s no action you can take to make any impact on these events or circumstances.

You cannot control these things; worrying about them will just cause stress and affect your overall attitude. In the long term, worrying about what you can’t control puts your health, happiness, and longevity at risk.

LTM Challenge

Make a list of the things you worry about. Divide that list into two categories:

1.  Concerns you can do something about

2.  Concerns beyond your control

Beside each of the items you can control, include an action item. For instance, if you worry about the ten pounds you’ve recently gained, put together a plan to do something about it. If you’re concerned about an impending deadline, make a list of all the things required to get the project completed.

Make a commitment to attack everything within your control and be intentional about not worrying about the things you can’t. At first, you’ll find it hard not to worry about the things you can’t control, but if you use self-discipline and refuse to worry about them, it will become easier.

One of the traits of positive people is that they don’t worry about things they can’t control.

10 Key Elements of a Persuasive Presentation

If you are growing and advancing your life, there will be times when you need to give a presentation. A presentation is not limited to the times you stand in front of a group of people. It also includes conference call presentations, conference room presentations, one-on-one presentations, and even written presentations.

One of the ways to stand out among your peers and competitors and increase your value to the market is to learn how to prepare and deliver effective presentations.

Years ago, I took a class on public speaking by Bert Decker Communication.  It was an exceptional experience that is still vivid in my mind today. During this training, the key elements of effective presentations were discussed.

Since then, I have added a few more points to my checklist that I review before EVERY blog post I write and every presentation I give. I open this document and answer these 10 questions. Once these questions are answered, I piece together my presentation.

Ten questions to answer as you prepare each presentation:

1. Who’s my audience? When communicating with a new audience, identify them. Who are they? What’s their profile? Why should they care about what you have to say? The more you learn about your audience, the more you can connect with them.

2. What’s my goal? Write ONE sentence describing the goal of your presentation. Make sure you are crystal clear on what you want the audience to take away from your comments.

3. What’s my point of view (POV) on the subject? Write ONE sentence clearly describing your point of view on the subject. This is your position on the topic.

4. What are the benefits to my audience? Make a list of all the benefits your audience will enjoy if they act upon your message. People need to understand the positive results they will experience if they do what you propose.

5. What’s the downside if people don’t act? Some points can be made more effectively if you point out the downside risks of not heeding your advice. As an example, people know the benefits of being on time, but pointing out that being late is considered as being rude, irresponsible, and disrespectful may be more effective.

6. What are my main body points? Prepare an outline of the major points of your speech or document. Drain your brain and list everything that comes to your mind. After you have everything listed, organize it.

7. Can I find appropriate quotes and supportive information? If there are sources that can be used to add credibility to your presentation, include or list them.

8. Is there a story that I can use to communicate my point(s)? If there is a relevant illustration or anecdote that can be told to make your point memorable, include it.

9. What’s my call to action? What action do you want your audience to take? Have you noticed my call to action at the end of all my lessons, both on my blog and in my book?

10. What would be an encouraging statement? Is there a positive and encouraging statement that would be appropriate to use in the conclusion of your presentation? I always like to end on a high point.

If your presentation is in a written format, have it edited. No matter how good of a writer you are, having someone you respect edit your work will likely improve it.

When you are invited to make a presentation, accept the challenge. The times in your life when you grow the most are when you push yourself outside your comfort zone to do what you’ve never done before.

I can still recall my first group presentation 21 years ago. I scripted out what I wanted to share word for word and practiced it in front of a video camera. Even though I was so nervous my underwear stuck to my butt, my preparation and practice allowed me to give the best presentation I was capable of giving at that time.

While there are other factors that contribute to giving great presentations—such as the use of visual aids, making eye contact with your audience, a neat appearance, and speaking with confidence—these 10 points will help you structure your presentation.

Dale Carnegie once said, “There are always three speeches for every one you actually gave.  The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave.”

So that you will be able to deliver the speech you wish you had given, let me encourage you to print out this post. Use it as your checklist as you prepare your next presentation. As you follow these tips, your confidence will grow and your level of nervousness and fear will be greatly reduced.

The secret to a successful presentation is found in your preparation.

Improving Your Written Communication Skills

Do you form opinions about people based upon their written communications with you? Can you distinguish between the people who take pride in their communications and those who don’t?

In today’s electronic age, one of the primary ways we are branding ourselves is through our typed words. Our emails, text messages, and posts on social media sites reveal much about who we are.

How you are viewed impacts the respect people have for you, the influence you have with others, and the people you attract into your life. These things play an important role in your personal and professional relationships, in the value you bring to the market, and how you feel about yourself.

It really boils down to this: do you care about how you are viewed? Do you want to create a positive brand for yourself? If you do, it’s important that you start taking pride in everything you type and write. Begin today to put an emphasis on developing your written communication skills.

Of all the written communication skills on my list, here are my top 14 tips to consider with every message you type:

1.  Write short sentences. Short sentences are easier to read than long sentences. If a sentence feels like it’s getting long, break it into two.

2.  Write short paragraphs. Limit your paragraphs to three sentences. This allows for white space and improves readability. If a paragraph looks like a big block of text, consider how you can divide it into two or three smaller paragraphs.

3.  Capitalize the first letter of each sentence. Not hitting the shift key is a surefire way to tell people you don’t care about how you are viewed.

4.  Use people’s names. Just as people notice when you speak their names, they are also aware when they read their names. Writing “Hi Joe,” or “Hey Sue,” lets them know the message is for them and makes the person feel valued.

5.  Be clear. With every message you type, ask yourself, “Is this message clear and to the point?” No one likes having to read a message more than once to figure out what the other person is trying to say.

6.  Be concise. Learn to communicate your messages in the fewest number of words possible. This is my goal with every sentence I write.

7.  Look for potential misunderstandings. As you proof your messages ask, “How could this be misunderstood?” Go the extra mile to avoid potential misunderstandings.

8.  Provide a complete response. When you receive a message that asks multiple questions, be sure to address each subject or question asked. Don’t make people send another message repeating the overlooked question because you didn’t take the time to provide a complete response.

9.  Number multiple topics. If you are covering more than one point, break out each point using numbers. I have yet to see a better way to communicate multiple topics than by numbering them.

10.  Use a friendly tone. Do you notice the tone people convey in their written communications? Can you tell when they are aggravated, overly firm, curt, or offended? Communicating with a friendly tone will make you more attractive and your recipient more receptive.

11.  Know when to pick up the phone. If there is something upsetting to you, pick up the phone and call the other person. Don’t allow yourself to send emotional messages that have the potential to scar a relationship and cause you regret.

12.  Proof everything. Don’t ever hit the send, submit, or comment button on anything you have not proofed. Your time management is never more important than your personal brand.

13.  Have it edited. If your document is important, go one step beyond your own proofing. Consider having someone edit it. I have every important document I create edited.

14.  Take pride. Be proud of every message you send, including those going to your friends and family.

Remember the wise words of Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich who said, “A big success is made up from a great number of little circumstances each of which may seem so small and insignificant most people pass them by as not being worthy of notice.”

Bonus Tip!

Be intentional and try to improve with every sentence you write or type. As you proof your written text, consider how it could be enhanced. Would a more descriptive word communicate your point? Can you find a synonym for that overworked word?

This extra effort will take a little more time, but this is how you are going to get better. Focus on developing your written communications skills with every word you write or type, whether it’s an email or an important document.

If you are a new reader to this site, you may want to read my report 49 Ways to Improve Your Email Brand to find more tips to help improve your writing.

How do you think people could improve their written communication skills? What written communication skills have you struggled with? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below this post.

“You have to put in many, many, many tiny efforts that nobody sees or appreciates before you achieve anything worthwhile.” -Brian Tracy

The Growing Importance of Soft Skills

We are living in an era of constant change. Because businesses are becoming less dictatorial and more social, the understanding and value of soft skills to an organization are growing daily.

In Top 10 Soft Skills to Master, I touched on a couple reasons why soft skills are important, but those were just the tip of the iceberg. The more I look at the distinguishing traits of people who are advancing their careers, the more convinced I am that soft skills are more important today than ever before.

Soft Skills Versus Hard Skills

“Soft skills” is a term relating to a collection of personal, positive attributes and competencies that enhance your relationships, job performance, and value to the market.

Soft skills include your ability to listen well, communicate effectively, be positive, handle conflict, accept responsibility, show respect, build trust, work well with others, manage time effectively, accept criticism, work under pressure, be likable, and demonstrate good manners.

“Hard skills” are specific, trainable abilities necessary to carry out the professional or technical requirements of a job or occupation.

Hard skills would include knowledge, machine operation, computer procedures, safety standards, financial systems, technical analysis, and sales administration. Unlike soft skills, hard skills are typically easy to observe, quantify, and measure.

Let me give you an example of the two kinds of skills. If you listened to the Super Bowl on Sunday, you would have heard comments made about Walter Payton and the award given in his honor. Payton is remembered as the most prolific running back in the history of American football, but he was also known for his kind, compassionate, and humorous character.

“Sweetness” became Payton’s nickname early in his career, and the announcers mentioned it on Sunday. In addition to his “hard” football skills, his “soft” personality skills won him an enduring reputation.

Soft Skills In the Workplace

More and more corporations around the world recognize that, in order to gain a competitive advantage, they need to make sure their people know how to handle themselves at work and how to relate with their customers and peers.

It’s often said that hard skills will get you an interview, but you need soft skills to get and keep the job. It’s no longer enough to be an expert in a field of knowledge. Competition is fierce; it’s your soft skills that make you stand out.

If you’re in sales, soft skills are critical for survival. As a Realtor, 92% of all sellers to whom I presented my services selected me over my competitors. It was my soft skills that were responsible for this success.

Soft skills aren’t just important in the obvious positions that deal with customers. They are important for every person in an organization. Take IT professionals as an example. When they acquire soft skills, better relationships are built between other business units, resulting in increased productivity.

Look at the people at the top in your profession and ask yourself, “Is it their hard skills or soft skills that got them to the top?” If you define their personal brand, you will quickly realize that the people at the top of the pay scale are those who excel in their soft skills.

Soft Skills Have Broad Application

Developing interpersonal skills affects all of your life—far beyond your career.

• Your relationship with your spouse, children, and friends will deepen.
• You will attract like-minded people into your life.
• You will gain people’s respect and admiration.
• Your example will teach others how they can be more successful.
• You will feel that you have more control of your life.

In addition to the long list of ways your life will be enhanced, you will be making this world a better place. Never underestimate the impact your positive example can have on people’s lives, both directly and indirectly.

Building Soft Skills

The time you spend developing your soft skills will never be wasted. Even if you change careers five times, the soft skills you learn today can always be used to set you apart in whatever you do with your life.

I want to challenge each of you to start focusing on your soft skills. Here are some simple ways to get started:

1.  Start doing the little things you already know you should do. You know many of the things you should be doing to develop better relationships, increase your productivity, and be more responsible. So do them.

2.  Become a keen observer of others. If Joe got the promotion over Pete, identify the reasons. When you are drawn to someone, ask yourself why. When you begin to trust someone, pinpoint the reasons. If you received excellent service from someone, think about what this person did that impressed you. There is a lot you can learn by watching others.

3.  Start living in a state of awareness. Turn off autopilot and start making conscious decisions as you move through your day, especially when interacting with other people. Positive change begins with awareness.

4.  Become a student of personal and professional success. If you have a genuine desire to improve your soft skills, start consuming content on the subject. Most of the content in my book and this blog pertains to your soft skills. Start by reading Top 10 Soft Skills to Master in 2011. Check out my favorite resource—Success Magazine.

5.  Be intentional every day. Getting better won’t come without effort. While some of the things will come naturally to you, others will require an intentional effort.

The great thing about building your soft skills is that you can acquire them on your own. Regardless of your background, gender, or education, developing your soft skills will make you stand out from the crowd in whatever you choose to do.

To advance your life personally or professionally, you must put an emphasis on developing your soft skills.

Give the Gift of Encouragement

Did you know you have the power to make our world a better place? “Who? Me? Impossible!” I hear you saying. But it’s true.

In this world of turmoil and strife with chaos everywhere across our nation and around the globe, there has never been a greater hunger for simple words of encouragement. Excessive stress, lack of control, financial pressure, and uncertainty about tomorrow—are all taking their toll on people’s emotions, health, and morale.

However, there is hope. There is one indispensable ingredient that can transform and inspire individuals, improve life, grow a positive attitude, build self-esteem, and enhance relationships. That ingredient is encouragement.

Albert Schweitzer said, “Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being.” There are two ways to rekindle that flame, to give the gift of encouragement—by your words and by your actions.

By Your Words

Your heartfelt and positive words can make a difference in a person’s life, which could lead to a change in the community, nation, and world. Mother Teresa said, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

Here are some positive ways to encourage people with your words:

1.  Offer praise for ordinary accomplishments. Look for the little things that most people take for granted. Make it personal. Look the other person in the eye, pause, and share your words with real meaning.

2.  Show appreciation. Watch for the slightest improvement in someone. Be specific. Avoid clichés like “You’re doing a great job.” Instead, tell the person exactly what it is that you appreciate about him or her. Is it their timeliness, work ethic, the way they treat customers, or the way they ran the meeting? Perhaps it’s someone’s weight loss, efficiency, or tidiness.

3.  Let someone know you are praying for them. I have yet to hear anyone turn down a prayer when needed.

4.  Offer words of cheer for someone depressed, discouraged, or overwhelmed. A timely encouraging word can give a person that is ready to quit the fuel to keep going.

5.  Honor the person who has reached a milestone. Don’t hide it. If appropriate, express your appreciation publicly.

6.  Compliment someone when they aren’t expecting it. Look for something that other people may have overlooked. Tell them what it is and why you think it was worthy of notice.

7.  Always say please and thank you. Always means every time, even if it’s their normal responsibility, such as cooking a meal, typing your report, or cutting the lawn.

Remember that kind words cost you nothing but can accomplish much.  King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, wrote, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

By Your Actions

1.  Take time out to listen. How many times has someone said “I feel better” after talking to you about something when all you did was listen?

2.  Send a card, email, or text telling people you appreciate them. Intentionally written words can be a powerful source of encouragement.

3.  Physically help someone in need. It could be shoveling the snow for an elderly couple down the street or helping a co-worker who is running behind.

4.  Be kind and considerate. It could be as simple as a smile, opening the door for someone, or acknowledging your co-workers.

Your supportive actions and words of encouragement don’t just enhance the lives of others; they enrich your life as well. The simple act of showing you care strengthens your relationships, builds trust, and increases your influence.

Are you willing to put forth the effort to recognize, appreciate, and encourage others? This may be hard for some of you who desperately need it in your own lives. It’s not easy dishing out encouragement when you are starving for it yourself, but it may be just the thing you need.  We should remember the words of George Adams: “There are high spots in all of our lives, and most of them have come about through encouragement from someone else.”

Let me urge you to answer these three questions:

1.  Being honest with myself, on a scale of 1-10, how encouraging am I?

2.  How can I become more supportive (in word or deed) of others?

3.  What changes am I willing to make to become an encourager?

Your gift of encouragement has the power to change lives!

Becoming a Disciplined Person

Self-discipline is a pattern of behavior where you choose to do what you know you should do, rather than what you want to do. It’s the inner power that pushes you to get out of bed to exercise, rather than sleeping in. It is the assertion of willpower over more basic desires and is synonymous with self-control.

It includes having the personal initiative to get started and the stamina to persevere. Being disciplined gives you the strength to withstand hardships and difficulties, whether physical, emotional, or mental. It allows forgoing immediate satisfaction in order to gain something better but requires effort and time.

Discipline is one of the cornerstones to living a successful and fulfilling life and something we should all strive to master.

Benefits of Becoming a Disciplined Person

When you are consistent in doing the things you know you should do when you know you should do them, here are the benefits you will enjoy:

• You will achieve your goals. When you are consistent in doing the things you know you should do, your odds of achieving your goals will be dramatically increased.

• Your self-esteem will soar. Every time you push yourself to do something you know you should do, you are building your self-esteem.

• People’s respect for you will grow. This includes everyone from your spouse to your employer who witnesses your efforts.

• You will influence the lives of others. Every good and right thing you do influences the lives of those who are watching and can have a ripple effect on future generations.

• You will see greater success in all areas of your life. Jim Rohn said, “For every disciplined effort, there is a multiple return.” Think about it.

• You will enjoy a more rewarding and satisfying life.

Downside of Lacking Discipline

When you consistently neglect to do the things you know you should do when they should be done, here’s the downside:

• You won’t achieve your goals. I’ve never met anyone who achieved any worthwhile goal who lacked discipline.

• You won’t feel good about yourself. No matter how hard you try to justify your actions, you know what’s right and wrong. Lying to yourself only makes it worse.

• You’ll lose the respect of those who are dependent on your actions.

Making the decision to become a disciplined person may prove to be one of the most important decisions you make because of its powerful influence on every part of your life.

A Commitment to Discipline

The first step in becoming a disciplined person is to make a commitment to yourself that from this day forward you are going to do the things you know you should do when you should do them. As part of this commitment, you cannot allow yourself to make excuses or justify not doing what you should do.

If you struggle with discipline, start small. It’s how we all got started. Start by taking out the overflowing garbage, answering an email, changing the light bulb, or cleaning your bathroom. Start today doing all the little things you know you should do but don’t feel like doing.

When you need to do things that make you uncomfortable, remember the wise words of leadership expert Dr. John Maxwell who said, “If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.”

When things come up that are scary, heed the experience of Dale Carnegie, who said, “Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”

Becoming a disciplined person will likely be the hardest thing you do, but it can also become the most rewarding. All successes in every part of your life are built on the foundation of discipline.

I want to challenge you to start doing the little things you know you should do. As you do, recognize yourself for each thing you do. With constant awareness and sustained effort, you can actually train yourself to become disciplined.

This is not the first time I have blogged on the importance of discipline, and it won’t be the last. Of the over 1000 little things on my list, nothing has a higher dollar value to the market than discipline.

Discipline is one of the key differentiators separating those who live successful and fulfilling lives from those who don’t.