Little Things Matter » Etiquette http://www.littlethingsmatter.com Improving your life one thing at a time Tue, 07 Sep 2010 11:19:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Improving your life one thing at a time Little Things Matter no Improving your life one thing at a time Little Things Matter http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz29/cearbaugh/AvatarLTM.png http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/category/etiquette/ What’s Your Borrowing Credit Score? http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/08/20/what%e2%80%99s-your-borrowing-credit-score-2/ http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/08/20/what%e2%80%99s-your-borrowing-credit-score-2/#comments Fri, 20 Aug 2010 07:45:30 +0000 Todd Smith http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/?p=2480 You probably can’t remember the last time a neighbor asked to borrow a cup of sugar. Those days seem long gone. But I’ll bet you remember the last time you loaned something to a friend, family member or co-worker and had to follow up to get it back. Worse yet, you got it back but in poor condition. Or, do you often find yourself on the other end of the transaction? For example:
  • Do you have items which belong to someone else that you’ve been meaning to return, but haven’t gotten around to yet?
  • Have you lost, accidentally damaged or broken something borrowed and are ashamed to face the owner so you’re just hoping he never brings it up...read more
]]> You probably can’t remember the last time a neighbor asked to borrow a cup of sugar. Those days seem long gone. But I’ll bet you remember the last time you loaned something to a friend, family member or co-worker and had to follow up to get it back. Worse yet, you got it back but in poor condition.

Or, do you often find yourself on the other end of the transaction?

For example:

  • Do you have items which belong to someone else that you’ve been meaning to return, but haven’t gotten around to yet?
  • Have you lost, accidentally damaged or broken something borrowed and are ashamed to face the owner so you’re just hoping he never brings it up?

Building Your Borrowing Credit Score

What you may not realize is that, in many respects, the act of borrowing an item that belongs to someone else—whether it’s a book, a tool, or a vehicle—is a lot like building your credit record.

When you borrow an item and return it promptly and in good or better condition, that’s a plus for you. On the other hand, when you fail to return something or return it late, you create a negative impression in the eyes of others, and your borrowing trustworthiness score goes down. In fact, if the offense is significant, such as returning a vehicle dirty or boat on empty, you risk permanently damaging your relationship with that person.

Becoming a Good Borrower

Good borrowing etiquette is really quite straightforward: it requires you to return the item you borrowed in a timely (agreed upon) manner and in the same or better condition.

Although it’s really rather simple, most of us are guilty of violating these rules much more often than we should. While we can say, “It’s because I’m too busy,” the real reason people ignore borrowing etiquette is because they don’t believe it’s important.

I’m taking time today to remind you that being a good borrower is important. When you make the effort to return borrowed items on time and in good condition, you are communicating respect for others and their property.  Because this is an area in which most people fall short, it helps you stand out as being responsible. What’s more, when you have a reputation as a good borrower, people are more willing to help you in the future.

Borrowing Tips

If you find it necessary to ask someone to borrow anything, here are five things you can do to build your borrowing trustworthiness and preserve your reputation:

  1. 1. When you borrow something such as a stapler from a co-workers desk, dental floss from another family members bathroom, or a weed trimmer from your neighbor, return what you borrowed as soon as you are done using it.

  2. 2. When you borrow something such as a book or movie from a friend, make a note on your calendar or your To Do list to return it.

  3. 3. If you borrow someone’s car, truck, boat, lawn mower or snowmobile, always return it with more gas than when you borrowed it.

  4. 4. If you have borrowed a vehicle for more than a day, I suggest filling it up with gas and washing it before returning it.

  5. 5. When you return the item, if appropriate, consider including a hand-written note of thanks.

Where there’s a borrower, there’s a lender. When you’re the one doing the lending, remember that it’s a good idea to keep track of anything you lend out, and don’t lend out items you really care about or couldn’t bear to lose.

Good borrowing habits most definitely matter. I encourage you to make a commitment today to never again return an item late or in worse condition than when you received it.

To help you maintain good relationships and preserve your reputation, ensure that your borrowing habits reflect positively on your character.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #43 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

Related Posts:

How to Keep From Forgetting Things

The Power of The Word “Please”

The Power of Personal Initiative

Your Greatest Obstacle

Our Lives are a Mirror Image of the Little Decisions we Make

The Importance of Being On Time

What’s Your Brand?
Cell Phone Etiquette

Stand Out From the Crowd

Becoming a Respected Leader

Who Do I Have To Become To Get What I Want?

The Power of Showing Your Appreciation

To Earn Respect You Must Show Respect

Living Beyond Ourselves

Being Honest With Ourselves

I’m Sorry!

What Is Easy to Do Is Easy Not to Do

What’s in Your Rulebook?

]]> http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/08/20/what%e2%80%99s-your-borrowing-credit-score-2/feed/ 8 Character,Etiquette,Family,Likability,Personal Brand,Priorities,Relationships,Respect,Responsibility You probably can’t remember the last time a neighbor asked to borrow a cup of sugar. Those days seem long gone. But I’ll bet you remember the last time you loaned something to a friend, family member or co-worker and had to follow up to get it back. (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2010/08/iStock_000011900112Borrowing-Keys.jpg)You probably can’t remember the last time a neighbor asked to borrow a cup of sugar. Those days seem long gone. But I’ll bet you remember the ... Little Things Matter no 4:03 How to Accept Compliments http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/08/12/how-to-accept-compliments/ http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/08/12/how-to-accept-compliments/#comments Thu, 12 Aug 2010 07:45:00 +0000 Todd Smith http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/?p=2369 From a very young age, all of us were taught how to accept a gift: say thank you, say something nice about the gift and, above all, don’t say you don’t like it (even if you don’t) because that will hurt the feelings of the giver. This advice is as good today as it was when you were five years old. It still applies whenever you receive a gift—and that includes the gift of a compliment. Graciously accepting a compliment in any setting is not only good manners, it’s a sign of someone who is confident and self-assured. It’s also a way to build rapport by acknowledging the compliment paid. Today’s lesson on accepting compliments will help you see that this little thing can be a huge boost to your reputation....read more]]> From a very young age, all of us were taught how to accept a gift: say thank you, say something nice about the gift and, above all, don’t say you don’t like it (even if you don’t) because that will hurt the feelings of the giver.

This advice is as good today as it was when you were five years old. It still applies whenever you receive a gift—and that includes the gift of a compliment.

Graciously accepting a compliment in any setting is not only good manners, it’s a sign of someone who is confident and self-assured. It’s also a way to build rapport by acknowledging the compliment paid.

Today’s lesson on accepting compliments will help you see that this little thing can be a huge boost to your reputation.

A Social Skill Worth Doing Well

There are a number of theories as to why people have a hard time accepting compliments. Reasons range from wanting to appear modest or not feeling as if the compliment is deserved to doubting the sincerity of the person giving the compliment.

What you may not realize, however, is that rejecting, deflecting, or not properly acknowledging a compliment creates a negative impression for three specific reasons.

1.  Discounts the intentions of the person giving the compliment
2.  Sends the message that you think the giver’s opinion is flawed
3.  Suggests that you don’t value your own abilities or talents

Remember that everybody is busy.  We all have our own concerns to look after, so when someone takes notice of something we’ve done well and makes an effort to tell us, we owe it to them to acknowledge their thoughtfulness.

Do You Recognize a Compliment When You Hear One?

Defined as an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration, compliments should be pretty easy to recognize, but can be tough to spot when we’re focused on ourselves. Here are two examples:

“Have you lost weight, Mary? You look terrific!”

  • “It must be the outfit.”

Mary is sending a message that she’s self conscious about her weight and/or she doesn’t deserve credit for her efforts.

“I’m really happy with the way you handled yourself on that call, Bill.”

  • “Yea, but I wish I would have remembered to tell them about the discount.

Bill is sending a message that he doesn’t think he’s good enough and that he is not able to see the potential benefit that may come from his contribution.

Responding to a Compliment

These two examples may seem obvious, but remember that compliments come in many forms. Whatever the situation, there is a proper way to acknowledge praise, commendation, or admiration.

  • Make eye contact. Acknowledging a compliment is a perfect time to connect with someone. Look the person in the eye when you respond. Doing so communicates sincerity and self-confidence.

  • Say, “Thank you.” A sincere, unhurried ‘thank you’ along with a smile and eye contact is more often than not all that is necessary.

  • Don’t explain anything. If you feel moved, you can follow your ‘thank you’ with something positive. Doing so communicates desirable character traits such as friendliness and positivity. Caution: If you can’t keep it brief and will be tempted to explain or rationalize your action or accomplishment, leave it at a simple ‘thank you.’

Here’s how it might sound if Mary and Bill put this advice into practice:

“Have you lost weight, Mary? You look terrific!”

  • Thanks, Barb. I feel great, too.

“I’m really happy with the way you handled yourself on that call, Bill.”

  • Thank you, Jim. I appreciate the feedback.

Quite a difference, wouldn’t you say? My challenge for you today is three-fold:

1.  Listen for compliments given to others as you go about your business over the next week. How many times do you hear people rejecting or ignoring a compliment they receive?
2.  Give more compliments than you normally would. Notice the responses people give.
3.  Finally, put today’s advice into practice the very next time you receive a compliment.

Acknowledging a compliment paid is a simple, yet very effective way to make a positive impression and build a favorable reputation.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #50 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

Related Posts:

What’s Your Brand?

The Power of Showing Your Appreciation

10 Simple Ways to Show Your Sincere Interest in Others

Living Beyond Ourselves

36 Ways to Make a Positive Impression in Less Than 10 Seconds

20 Tips for Positive Group Interactions

Do You Say Things You Later Regret?

25 Unexpected Ways to Make Someone’s Day

The Power of The Word “Please”

Praise or Criticize? When and Where?

The Ripple Effect of a Smile

]]> http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/08/12/how-to-accept-compliments/feed/ 23 appreciation,Building Rapport,Confidence,Encouragement,Personal Brand,Recognition,Things you were never taught From a very young age, all of us were taught how to accept a gift: say thank you, say something nice about the gift and, above all, don’t say you don’t like it (even if you don’t) because that will hurt the feelings of the giver. (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2010/08/iStock_000011542362Compliment-accepting-300x250.jpg)From a very young age, all of us were taught how to accept a gift: say thank you, say something nice about the gift and, above all, don’t say you don’t like it (even if you don’t) because that will hurt the feelings of the giver. This advice is as good today as it was when you were five years old. It still applies whenever you receive a gift—and that includes the gift of a compliment. Graciously accepting a compliment in any setting is not only good manners, it’s a sign of someone who is confident and self-assured. It’s also a way to build rapport by acknowledging the compliment paid. Today’s lesson on accepting compliments will help you see that this little thing can be a huge boost to your reputation. A Social Skill Worth Doing Well There are a number of theories as to why people have a hard time accepting compliments. Reasons range from wanting to appear modest or not feeling as if the compliment is deserved to doubting the sincerity of the person giving the compliment. What you may not realize, however, is that rejecting, deflecting, or not properly acknowledging a compliment creates a negative impression for three specific reasons. 1.  Discounts the intentions of the person giving the compliment 2.  Sends the message that you think the giver’s opinion is flawed 3.  Suggests that you don’t value your own abilities or talents Remember that everybody is busy.  We all have our own concerns to look after, so when someone takes notice of something we’ve done well and makes an effort to tell us, we owe it to them to acknowledge their thoughtfulness. Do You Recognize a Compliment When You Hear One? Defined as an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration, compliments should be pretty easy to recognize, but can be tough to spot when we’re focused on ourselves. Here are two examples: “Have you lost weight, Mary? You look terrific!” * “It must be the outfit.” Mary is sending a message that she’s self conscious about her weight and/or she doesn’t deserve credit for her efforts. “I’m really happy with the way you handled yourself on that call, Bill.” * “Yea, but I wish I would have remembered to tell them about the discount. Bill is sending a message that he doesn’t think he’s good enough and that he is not able to see the potential benefit that may come from his contribution. Responding to a Compliment These two examples may seem obvious, but remember that compliments come in many forms. Whatever the situation, there is a proper way to acknowledge praise, commendation, or admiration. * Make eye contact. Acknowledging a compliment is a perfect time to connect with someone. Look the person in the eye when you respond. Doing so communicates sincerity and self-confidence. * Say, “Thank you.” A sincere, unhurried ‘thank you’ along with a smile and eye contact is more often than not all that is necessary. * Don’t explain anything. If you feel moved, you can follow your ‘thank you’ with something positive. Doing so communicates desirable character traits such as friendliness and positivity. Caution: If you can’t keep it brief and will be tempted to explain or rationalize your action or accomplishment, leave it at a simple ‘thank you.’ Here’s how it might sound if Mary and Bill put this advice into practice: “Have you lost weight, Mary? You look terrific!” * Thanks, Barb. I feel great, too. “I’m really happy with the way you handled yourself on that call, Bill.” * Thank you, Jim. I appreciate the feedback. Quite a difference, wouldn’t you say? My challenge for you today is three-fold: 1.  Listen for compliments given to others as you go about your business over the next week. How many times do you hear people rejecting or ignoring a compliment they receive? 2. Little Things Matter no 4:40 What Are You Doing That Bugs People? http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/08/10/what-are-you-doing-that-bugs-people/ http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/08/10/what-are-you-doing-that-bugs-people/#comments Tue, 10 Aug 2010 07:45:00 +0000 Todd Smith http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/?p=2317 What is the number one thing people do that bugs you? Think about it for a moment. Do you have something in mind? How do you feel about people who do that? Do you want to shake your head in disgust? Do you want to roll your eyes? Do you want to bite your tongue as you resist saying something? Do you want to blow your horn? How does this affect your impression of them? Recently, I posed a question on the Little Things Matter Facebook page asking people to comment on what types of things other people do that bug them. More people responded to this post than any other question posed since starting this page. I hit a nerve...read more]]> What is the number one thing people do that bugs you? Think about it for a moment.  Do you have something in mind?

How do you feel about people who do that?  Do you want to shake your head in disgust?  Do you want to roll your eyes?  Do you want to bite your tongue as you resist saying something? Do you want to blow your horn? How does this affect your impression of them?

Recently, I posed a question on the Little Things Matter Facebook page asking people to comment on what types of things other people do that bug them. More people responded to this post than any other question posed since starting this page. I hit a nerve.

Not surprisingly, people who lie, are intentionally deceitful, or flaunt arrogance were hot buttons for many who commented. The most common theme that emerged had to with inconsiderate people. Some of the inconsiderate things listed included people who:

  • Don’t use their turn signals
  • Drive too close to the car in front of them
  • Flick their cigarette butts out the window
  • Don’t hold the door open
  • Don’t respond to emails, texts, and calls
  • Interrupt while someone is talking
  • Scan their phone or computer for messages during a conversation
  • Leave their shopping cart in the parking lot rather than returning it
  • Are late for calls and appointments
  • Eat or chew gum with their mouth open

The number and nature of these responses prompted today’s lesson that deals with what happens when we encounter someone who does the very thing that bugs us.

Even more importantly, what happens when we’re the ones who are bugging people? How does it affect their view of us?

Why You Should Care

In the context of personal and professional development, you need to know one of the worst things you can do is something that annoys or bugs another person.

Upon reading this, you may feel one of two ways,

  • Why should I care if I’m bugging anybody? I can’t please everybody!
  • What do I do that bugs people and how does this affect their view of me?

You might have guessed by now that I believe you should care. Here’s why:

  • When you have a habit that bothers other people and do nothing about it, you brand yourself as someone who is inconsiderate. Do inconsiderate people win friends, influence people, or get promotions?
  • Most people don’t even realize that what they’re doing may be bugging others. Quite plainly, this creates a big ugly pimple on their reputation!
  • Finally, a carefree attitude of “It’s a free country. So what if you don’t like it?” will cause you to end up unloved, unappreciated, unpopular, and unhappy. Remember, it’s a small world.

Are You Ready to Learn About Yourself?

The first step toward ridding yourself of habits that others may find distasteful or offensive and preserving your reputation is to learn what you may be doing that bugs other people. The easiest way to do this is to simply ask. It may be awkward or even slightly embarrassing, but it won’t kill you.

Start with your spouse, your children, or another family member. Ask them for their honesty. And when they do offer to tell you, don’t get defensive. When you’re ready, ask a trusted colleague, supervisor, or someone who reports to you. It takes courage, but I guarantee they’ll respect you for asking, especially when they see you making an effort to change.

If you just can’t bring yourself to ask anyone outright, here are ways to figure it out yourself.

  • Make a conscious effort to watch how others are viewing your actions and reactions.
  • Notice when others seem to be turned off by something you say or do.
  • Take time to think about what you can start doing to be more considerate of others.

Today, rather than post what bugs you, I’m asking you to leave a comment about a habit of yours that you want to seriously eliminate. Simple answer this question.

If I asked my spouse, boss, co-worker, or closest friend the one thing I did that really bugs them, they would probably say _____________.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #48 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

Related Posts:

Our Lives are a Mirror Image of the Little Decisions we Make

Cell Phone Etiquette

20 Tips for Important Dinner Engagements

Stand Out From the Crowd

Who Do I Have To Become To Get What I Want?

20 Business Texting Etiquette Tips

To Earn Respect You Must Show Respect

Playing The Odds to Win

Living Beyond Ourselves

People Are As Different As They Look

Being Honest With Ourselves

How to Keep From Forgetting Things

Do You Get Defensive?

I’m Sorry!

Are You an Optimist or a Pessimist?

What’s in Your Rulebook?

]]> http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/08/10/what-are-you-doing-that-bugs-people/feed/ 43 Family,Personal Brand,Relationships,Things you were never taught What is the number one thing people do that bugs you? Think about it for a moment. Do you have something in mind? - How do you feel about people who do that? Do you want to shake your head in disgust? Do you want to roll your eyes? (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2010/08/iStock_000002091880Bugging-you-300x193.jpg)What is the number one thing people do that bugs you? Think about it for a moment.  Do you have something in mind? How do you feel about people who do that?  Do you want to shake your head in disgust?  Do you want to roll your eyes?  Do you want to bite your tongue as you resist saying something? Do you want to blow your horn? How does this affect your impression of them? Recently, I posed a question on the Little Things Matter Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/littlethingsmatter) asking people to comment on what types of things other people do that bug them. More people responded to this post than any other question posed since starting this page. I hit a nerve. Not surprisingly, people who lie, are intentionally deceitful, or flaunt arrogance were hot buttons for many who commented. The most common theme that emerged had to with inconsiderate people. Some of the inconsiderate things listed included people who: * Don’t use their turn signals * Drive too close to the car in front of them * Flick their cigarette butts out the window * Don’t hold the door open * Don’t respond to emails, texts, and calls * Interrupt while someone is talking * Scan their phone or computer for messages during a conversation * Leave their shopping cart in the parking lot rather than returning it * Are late for calls and appointments * Eat or chew gum with their mouth open The number and nature of these responses prompted today’s lesson that deals with what happens when we encounter someone who does the very thing that bugs us. Even more importantly, what happens when we’re the ones who are bugging people? How does it affect their view of us? Why You Should Care In the context of personal and professional development, you need to know one of the worst things you can do is something that annoys or bugs another person. Upon reading this, you may feel one of two ways, * Why should I care if I’m bugging anybody? I can’t please everybody! * What do I do that bugs people and how does this affect their view of me? You might have guessed by now that I believe you should care. Here’s why: * When you have a habit that bothers other people and do nothing about it, you brand yourself as someone who is inconsiderate. Do inconsiderate people win friends, influence people, or get promotions? * Most people don’t even realize that what they’re doing may be bugging others. Quite plainly, this creates a big ugly pimple on their reputation! * Finally, a carefree attitude of “It’s a free country. So what if you don’t like it?” will cause you to end up unloved, unappreciated, unpopular, and unhappy. Remember, it’s a small world (../../../../../blog/2010/07/30/it%E2%80%99s-a-small-world/). Are You Ready to Learn About Yourself? The first step toward ridding yourself of habits that others may find distasteful or offensive and preserving your reputation is to learn what you may be doing that bugs other people. The easiest way to do this is to simply ask. It may be awkward or even slightly embarrassing, but it won’t kill you. Start with your spouse, your children, or another family member. Ask them for their honesty. And when they do offer to tell you, don’t get defensive. When you’re ready, ask a trusted colleague, supervisor, or someone who reports to you. It takes courage, but I guarantee they’ll respect you for asking, especially when they see you making an effort to change. If you just can’t bring yourself to ask anyone outright, here are ways to figure it out yourself. * Make a conscious effort to watch how others are viewing your actions and reactions. * Notice when others seem to be turned off by something you say or do. * Take time to think about what you can start doing to be more considerate of others. Today, rather than post what bugs you, Little Things Matter no 4:51 10 Ways To Stand Out at The Next Party http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/05/28/10-ways-to-stand-out-at-the-next-party-2/ http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/05/28/10-ways-to-stand-out-at-the-next-party-2/#comments Fri, 28 May 2010 07:45:59 +0000 Todd Smith http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/?p=1740 Since it is Memorial Day weekend and many of you will be spending time with family and friends, I thought you would enjoy a lesson that you can put into practice this weekend. For those of you who follow my daily lessons, some of these points will be timely reminders. One of the themes I keep coming back to is how you can best stand out from the crowd. I just find that so few people make the extra effort to do so. In Stand Out From the Crowd I shared how people’s respect grows for those who return calls and emails in a timely manner and finish their responsibilities on time....read more]]> Since it is Memorial Day weekend and many of you will be spending time with family and friends, I thought you would enjoy a lesson that you can put into practice this weekend. For those of you who follow my daily lessons, some of these points will be timely reminders.

One of the themes I keep coming back to is how you can best stand out from the crowd. I just find that so few people make the extra effort to do so. In Stand Out From the Crowd I shared how people’s respect grows for those who return calls and emails in a timely manner and finish their responsibilities on time.

Another group of people who really stand out in my mind are those who are intentional about doing the “little things” when they attend dinners, BBQ’s or beach parties at our home.  When my family makes sure to do these same things at other people’s homes, our efforts are noticed and appreciated.

Here are 10 ways you can make a positive impression when you’re invited to someone’s home for a party.

1. RSVP—When you receive an invitation to an event, make it a priority to respond to the invitation even if you cannot attend.  When people send invitations they expect a response in a timely manner.  Don’t let your name appear on the unconfirmed list and have your host continue to wonder why you don’t show the common courtesy of responding.

2. Offer To Come Early—If you have ever hosted an event at your home, you know the amount of planning and preparation that goes into making it special for everyone.  If the people hosting the event are close friends or family, then offer to come early to help with the set up. Even if they don’t accept your offer, they will appreciate you asking.

3. Be On Time—It’s always nice when people show up at our events on time.  When we invite people over for dinner at 6:30, it is not uncommon for my wife to have dinner ready at 6:30.  If you are attending a dinner, you don’t want to be the person who is noticeably late. Being on time is a good way to show your respect for their schedule. At the same time, don’t come early or you may catch your host unprepared for your early arrival.

4. Bring A Gift— When you are invited to attend a party or dinner engagement at someone’s home, it’s a nice practice to bring a little gift for the host. It could be a bottle of wine, a small inexpensive flower arrangement or something as simple as a card. A little gift is a nice way of showing your appreciation for the effort put into the event and for being included.

5. Upon Arrival Offer to Help—When you arrive, ask if there is anything you can do to help.  There are almost always last minute things that need to be done and your offer will be appreciated.  If there isn’t anything to do, you can bet your offer to help will make an impression.

6. Be Attentive To The Things You Can Do To Help—When you attend events with family and “close” friends, look for the things you can do without being asked to help.  It could be cleaning up glasses laying around or taking out the trash that is overflowing.  My wife and I always appreciate those who pitch in to help without having to be asked.

7. Help Clean Up—If you attend a party at someone’s home, offer to help with the clean up.  If they decline your offer, simply say, “I would enjoy helping you clean up.  Would you please allow me to help you?”  When they accept your offer, help them clean up until the job is finished or until your host wants to take a break. If they decline your help because they would rather continue the conversation in another room, ask them again when the party is over.

8. Don’t drink too much—While this seems like common sense, I have seen countless people make fools of themselves by over drinking at parties. Make the decision in advance as to how many drinks you are going to have and then use your self-control to keep from having even one more.

9. Include everyone when talking—When you are the one talking in a group setting, be sure to share eye contact with each person. This action demonstrates that each person is important to you. It also communicates to them that you understand the importance of including them in the conversation.

10. Don’t leave anything behind—Last year we had a pie fight party and invited about 20 of our friends and family to join us.  After everyone left, we found people’s beach towels, goggles, shirts and even wet bathing suits lying around.  Out of the 20 or so people who attended, at least a third of them forgot something. When you leave someone’s home, make sure to double check that you have everything you came with in the first place.

Do you have any tips?  If so, share them in the comments section below this post.

I hope all of you have a special weekend with your friends and family.

Often times it’s the simple acts of thoughtfulness that make a lasting impression.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts.

Related Posts:

20 Tips for Important Dinner Engagements

10 Simple Ways to Show Your Sincere Interest in Others

10 Ways To Be A Good Listener

The 12 Fastest Ways to Build Rapport (Part 2)

The 12 Fastest Ways to Build Rapport (Part 1)

20 Tips for Positive Group Interactions

The Fundamentals of Eye Contact

Handshakes Really Do Matter

Modeling Builds Rapport

The Power of Your Smile

How Likable Are You?

The Importance of Being on Time

10 Ways to Make a Positive Impression When Greeting People

Cell Phone Etiquette

]]> http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/05/28/10-ways-to-stand-out-at-the-next-party-2/feed/ 35 appreciation,Family,Personal Brand,Relationships Since it is Memorial Day weekend and many of you will be spending time with family and friends, I thought you would enjoy a lesson that you can put into practice this weekend. For those of you who follow my daily lessons, (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2010/05/Stand-out-at-your-next-party-image.jpg)Since it is Memorial Day weekend and many of you will be spending time with family and friends, I thought you would enjoy a lesson that you c... Little Things Matter no 6:05 20 Tips for Positive Group Interactions http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/05/13/20-tips-for-positive-group-interactions/ http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/05/13/20-tips-for-positive-group-interactions/#comments Thu, 13 May 2010 07:45:44 +0000 Todd Smith http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/?p=1622 Everyday we meet with groups of people socially and professionally. How we interact plays a large role in the impressions we create. Are we taken seriously or do people discount what we say? Does people’s respect for us grow or would they prefer not to be around us any more? Once again, you are in control. Following these tips will give you a leg up in your next group meeting or social event. 1.  Dress consistently with how you want to be viewed-—You may think that dressing for success is an overused phrase or your attire really doesn’t matter. But IT DOES. Remember you are marketing a product and that product is YOU...read more]]> Everyday we meet with groups of people socially and professionally. How we interact plays a large role in the impressions we create. Are we taken seriously or do people discount what we say? Does people’s respect for us grow or would they prefer not to be around us any more? Once again, you are in control.

Following these tips will give you a leg up in your next group meeting or social event.

1.  Dress consistently with how you want to be viewed-—You may think that dressing for success is an overused phrase or your attire really doesn’t matter. But IT DOES. Remember you are marketing a product and that product is YOU.

2.  Arrive early—Being early is a stress reliever. You’ll feel prepared and confident and when others arrive you can be the first to greet them. But socially, don’t be too early or you’ll catch your host or hostess off guard and unprepared for your arrival.

3.  Put your cell phone away or place in silent or vibrate mode—Group meetings of any kind should not be interrupted with your personal cell phone activity-calls, texts or emails. It’s best to leave your phone in the car or place it in silent mode. If you absolutely must receive “important” information, put your phone on vibrate.

4.  Greet everyone—Make sure to greet all members of the group with a warm smile, a firm handshake if appropriate, and repeat his or her name.

5.  Be friendly—If you aren’t naturally outgoing and friendly, then this is “show time” for you. Put on your “game face” and do all you can to make a good impression. Being friendly is HUGE!

6.  Show an interest in others—Ask questions, pay someone a compliment or listen carefully to what is being discussed.

7.  Introduce yourself— Be proactive and introduce yourself to others in the group. Denny Cwiek’s insightful comment on this blog is right on point. “Todd, something else I do when I run into someone I know I’ve met before, whether I remember their name or not.  I put my hand out and reintroduce myself just in case they don’t remember my name. This let’s them save face and immediately makes them more comfortable.  Plus, if I don’t remember their name, there’s a good chance they’ll remind me.”

8.  Introduce others—Once again Denny hits the nail on the head. “Also, if I’m in a group where there is someone who probably does not know or remember the names of the other people in the group, I make it a point to use everyone’s name several times in the course of the conversation, again, to help that person save face and feel more comfortable.”

9.  Wait to be seated—In a social setting ask the host or hostess where you should sit. You want to be respectful of how they would like the group seated.

10. Body posture—Sit up straight. Poor posture is an indication of low self-esteem. Leaning forward indicates interest. Crossed arms indicate disinterest or possibly anger. All of your body language sends signals to the group members.

11. Focus your attention on the person talking—Maintain eye contact with the person talking to demonstrate respect and interest in the conversation. This holds true even when the waiter arrives at your table to take a drink or dinner order. If you turn your attention to the waiter, you are indicating the waiter is more important than your dinner guest.

12. Don’t discount anyone’s comments—Don’t dismiss an idea just because it originates from someone who has a different point of view. Remember everyone is different and the ability to think differently can spark creativity and innovation. There’s just no way you can improve yourself or grow your business if you only value your own ideas.

13. Think before you speak—Don’t be too quick to jump into the conversation. Instead be a respectful listener and observer. When you do talk, carefully consider what you say. Wouldn’t you rather keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it and prove it.

14. Remember the “two second” rule- Don’t interject or comment until the person has clearly finished speaking. A good rule of thumb is to wait two seconds.

15. Don’t talk about yourself—Resist the temptation to monopolize the conversation. Instead, show an interest in others by asking questions. Then listen attentively and continue the conversation accordingly.

16. Include everyone when talking—When you are the one talking, be sure to share eye contact with each person in the group. Each member will feel valued and included.

17. Don’t change the conversation—Unless there’s a clear indicator that the conversation is finished, don’t change the topic. You don’t want people to feel you don’t have an interest in what’s being discussed or you think what you have to say is more important.

18. Don’t start or participate in a side conversation—Never start or participate in a side conversation even if the person talking is not making eye contact with you. Don’t allow their mistake to prevent you from being a good listener.

19. Excusing yourself—Don’t get up to leave the table in the middle of a conversation. Wait until there is a pause or a shift in the conversation. Otherwise your actions could be interpreted as a lack of interest in the conversation and the person speaking may well take offense.

20. Say goodbye to each person individually— Make sure to smile, shake hands or embrace and use each person’s name when the conversation or event is concluded. Make a good last impression.

Everything you do in a group setting makes an impression on everyone in the group. Don’t ever think something doesn’t matter. Everything matters.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts.

Related Posts:

The Fundamentals of Eye Contact

Handshakes Really Do Matter

Modeling Builds Rapport

How Likable Are You?

The Importance of Being on Time

10 Ways to Make a Positive Impression When Greeting People

Make Your Appearance an Asset

Cell Phone Etiquette

10 Ways To Be A Good Listener

]]> http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/05/13/20-tips-for-positive-group-interactions/feed/ 10 Building Rapport,Entrepreneurship,In-person Communication,Relationships,Sales,Things you were never taught Everyday we meet with groups of people socially and professionally. How we interact plays a large role in the impressions we create. Are we taken seriously or do people discount what we say? Does people’s respect for us grow or would they prefer not to... (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2010/05/Group-Interactions-image-w250-h185.jpg)Everyday we meet with groups of people socially and professionally. How we interact plays a large role in the impressions we create. Are we taken seriously or do people discount what we say? Does people’s respect for us grow or would they prefer not to be around us any more? Once again, you are in control. Following these tips will give you a leg up in your next group meeting or social event. 1.  Dress consistently with how you want to be viewed-—You may think that dressing for success is an overused phrase or your attire really doesn’t matter. But IT DOES. Remember you are marketing a product and that product is YOU. 2.  Arrive early—Being early is a stress reliever. You’ll feel prepared and confident and when others arrive you can be the first to greet them. But socially, don’t be too early or you’ll catch your host or hostess off guard and unprepared for your arrival. 3.  Put your cell phone away or place in silent or vibrate mode—Group meetings of any kind should not be interrupted with your personal cell phone activity-calls, texts or emails. It’s best to leave your phone in the car or place it in silent mode. If you absolutely must receive “important” information, put your phone on vibrate. 4.  Greet everyone—Make sure to greet all members of the group with a warm smile (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/26/the-power-of-your-smile/), a firm handshake (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/28/handshakes-really-do-matter/) if appropriate, and repeat his or her name. 5.  Be friendly—If you aren’t naturally outgoing and friendly, then this is “show time” for you. Put on your “game face” and do all you can to make a good impression. Being friendly is HUGE! 6.  Show an interest in others—Ask questions, pay someone a compliment or listen carefully to what is being discussed. 7.  Introduce yourself— Be proactive and introduce yourself to others in the group. Denny Cwiek’s insightful comment on this blog is right on point. “Todd, something else I do when I run into someone I know I've met before, whether I remember their name or not.  I put my hand out and reintroduce myself just in case they don't remember my name. This let's them save face and immediately makes them more comfortable.  Plus, if I don't remember their name, there's a good chance they'll remind me.” 8.  Introduce others—Once again Denny hits the nail on the head. “Also, if I'm in a group where there is someone who probably does not know or remember the names of the other people in the group, I make it a point to use everyone's name several times in the course of the conversation, again, to help that person save face and feel more comfortable.” 9.  Wait to be seated—In a social setting ask the host or hostess where you should sit. You want to be respectful of how they would like the group seated. 10. Body posture—Sit up straight. Poor posture is an indication of low self-esteem. Leaning forward indicates interest. Crossed arms indicate disinterest or possibly anger. All of your body language sends signals to the group members. 11. Focus your attention on the person talking—Maintain eye contact (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/29/the-fundamentals-of-eye-contact/) with the person talking to demonstrate respect and interest in the conversation. This holds true even when the waiter arrives at your table to take a drink or dinner order. If you turn your attention to the waiter, you are indicating the waiter is more important than your dinner guest. 12. Don’t discount anyone’s comments—Don’t dismiss an idea just because it originates from someone who has a different point of view. Remember everyone is different and the ability to think differently can spark creativity and innovation. Little Things Matter no 7:26 70 of the Dumbest Things You Should Never Say or Ask http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/05/07/70-of-the-dumbest-things-you-should-never-say-or-ask/ http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/05/07/70-of-the-dumbest-things-you-should-never-say-or-ask/#comments Fri, 07 May 2010 07:45:51 +0000 Todd Smith http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/?p=1563 On a recent Little Things Matter Facebook post I listed four questions you should never ask someone and encouraged readers to have some fun by adding theirs to my list. Well, fun we had. 128 comments later, I was laughing so hard that that I had tears in my eyes. Here are the top 70 things you should never say or ask. Hope they bring a smile to your face. THINGS YOU NEVER SAY TO OR ASK A WOMAN: 1. Asking an overweight woman, when are you due? 2. When are you going to have that baby; seems like you’ve been pregnant forever (as she turns around with a baby in her arms!) 3. Are “those” real? - diamonds, hair color, nails and whatever else comes to your mind...read more]]> On a recent Little Things Matter Facebook post I listed four questions you should never ask someone and encouraged readers to have some fun by adding theirs to my list. Well, fun we had. 128 comments later, I was laughing so hard that that I had tears in my eyes. Here are the top 70 things you should never say or ask. Hope they bring a smile to your face.

THINGS YOU NEVER SAY TO OR ASK A WOMAN:

1. Asking an overweight woman, when are you due?

2. When are you going to have that baby; seems like you’ve been pregnant forever (as she turns around with a baby in her arms!)

3. Are “those” real? – diamonds, hair color, nails and whatever else comes to your mind.

4. How old are you?

5. Honey, is that what you’re wearing tonight?

6. Do you know that outfit makes you look fat?

7. Which ex-husband?

8. Asking an older woman with a younger man, is that your son?

9. Have you had cosmetic surgery?

10. You look tired.

11. How much do you weigh?

12. Are you mad at me?

13. If the woman is with an older guy, is that your dad?

14. You’re really not going to eat all of that, are you?

15, Did you look in the mirror before you left the house?

16. What did I do wrong?

17. How much longer before you’re ready?

18. Hey lady, that’s a big foot; what’s your shoe size?

19. Are you wearing makeup?

20. I thought you were a blond, brunet, red head…

21. Have you put on some weight since I saw you last?

22. You are starting to get some facial hair.

THINGS YOU NEVER SAY TO OR ASK A MAN:

23. Asking a guy with a younger woman, is she your daughter?

24.Asking a guy with an older woman, is that your mom?

25.Which ex-wife?

26.What should I wear tonight?

27.Does this dress make my rear end look fat?

28.Do you really love me?

29.If you love me, prove it!

30.Are you a jerk to everyone you meet or just me?

31.What are you thinking?

32.To a bald guy, what happened to your hair?

33.Have you had a hair transplant?

THINGS YOU NEVER ASK A CHILD:

34.When are you going to grow up?

35. Are you a boy or a man?

36. Why do you act that way?

THINGS YOU NEVER SAY TO OR ASK A FRIEND:

37. How’s your sex life?

38. Have you put on weight?

39. Who are you and what have you done with my friend?

40. Did you pay to have your hair done that way?

41. What does the doctor say about that?

42. How much money do you make?

43. Do you think my husband’s sexy?

44. Wow, are you sure you want that dessert?

45. How many times have you been married?

46. Are you going to eat all that?

47. Why didn’t you invite ME?

48. Is that real or a knock off?

49. Where did you learn to speak English? (turns out the person was born in the US)

OTHER DUMB THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY OR ASK:

50. What’s your sign?

51. When are you going to have kids?

52. When are you going to get married?

53. Why are you still single?

54. To a male nurse, when are you going to make doctor?

55. To someone who stutters, just spit it out.

56. To a patient in the emergency room, hey, how’s it going?

57. When you eat something and say it’s awful and then ask, do you want a bite?

58. How much did that cost you?

59. If someone tells you they are on a diet, does it work?

60. Is your child a boy or a girl?

61. Is this your grandchild?

62. Why do you always do that?

63. Asking, “What happened?” when learning of someone’s death. Instead just say “Sorry!”

64. Will you be using your senior discount?

65. What’s your credit rating?

66. What religion are you?

67. Did you pray about that?

68. Asking, “What’s happened?” when learning about a tragic event in someone’s life.

69. If you meet a Korean or Japanese person, are you Chinese?

70.If someone has a skin condition or a facial deformity, is there a treatment for that?

Pretty funny stuff, huh? And yet there’s a serious lesson in all of this. My biggest take-a-way from all these comments is that words have power. They can inspire, heal or make us laugh or they can make us cry, harm or destroy. If you think before you speak, you’ll have a much greater chance of building and sustaining relationships.

From this day forward, let me encourage you to think about the words that come out of your mouth and how they may make others feel.

Parents, let me encourage you to discuss some of the examples in this post with your children. As you know, this is not taught in school.

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.” – Plato

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts.

Related Posts:

How Likable Are You?

Whats Your Brand?

Who Do I Have to Become to Get What I Want?

To Earn Respect You Must Show Respect

Our Lives are a Mirror Image of the Little Decisions We Make

]]> http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/05/07/70-of-the-dumbest-things-you-should-never-say-or-ask/feed/ 47 Relationships,Things you were never taught On a recent Little Things Matter Facebook post I listed four questions you should never ask someone and encouraged readers to have some fun by adding theirs to my list. Well, fun we had. 128 comments later, (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2010/05/dumb-things-post-image-w250-h175.jpg)On a recent Little Things Matter Facebook post (http://www.facebook.com/littlethingsmatter) I listed four questions you should never ask someone and encouraged readers to have some fun by adding theirs to my list. Well, fun we had. 128 comments later, I was laughing so hard that that I had tears in my eyes. Here are the top 70 things you should never say or ask. Hope they bring a smile to your face. THINGS YOU NEVER SAY TO OR ASK A WOMAN: 1. Asking an overweight woman, when are you due? 2. When are you going to have that baby; seems like you’ve been pregnant forever (as she turns around with a baby in her arms!) 3. Are “those” real? - diamonds, hair color, nails and whatever else comes to your mind. 4. How old are you? 5. Honey, is that what you’re wearing tonight? 6. Do you know that outfit makes you look fat? 7. Which ex-husband? 8. Asking an older woman with a younger man, is that your son? 9. Have you had cosmetic surgery? 10. You look tired. 11. How much do you weigh? 12. Are you mad at me? 13. If the woman is with an older guy, is that your dad? 14. You’re really not going to eat all of that, are you? 15, Did you look in the mirror before you left the house? 16. What did I do wrong? 17. How much longer before you’re ready? 18. Hey lady, that’s a big foot; what’s your shoe size? 19. Are you wearing makeup? 20. I thought you were a blond, brunet, red head… 21. Have you put on some weight since I saw you last? 22. You are starting to get some facial hair. THINGS YOU NEVER SAY TO OR ASK A MAN: 23. Asking a guy with a younger woman, is she your daughter? 24.Asking a guy with an older woman, is that your mom? 25.Which ex-wife? 26.What should I wear tonight? 27.Does this dress make my rear end look fat? 28.Do you really love me? 29.If you love me, prove it! 30.Are you a jerk to everyone you meet or just me? 31.What are you thinking? 32.To a bald guy, what happened to your hair? 33.Have you had a hair transplant? THINGS YOU NEVER ASK A CHILD: 34.When are you going to grow up? 35. Are you a boy or a man? 36. Why do you act that way? THINGS YOU NEVER SAY TO OR ASK A FRIEND: 37. How’s your sex life? 38. Have you put on weight? 39. Who are you and what have you done with my friend? 40. Did you pay to have your hair done that way? 41. What does the doctor say about that? 42. How much money do you make? 43. Do you think my husband’s sexy? 44. Wow, are you sure you want that dessert? 45. How many times have you been married? 46. Are you going to eat all that? 47. Why didn’t you invite ME? 48. Is that real or a knock off? 49. Where did you learn to speak English? (turns out the person was born in the US) OTHER DUMB THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY OR ASK: 50. What’s your sign? 51. When are you going to have kids? 52. When are you going to get married? 53. Why are you still single? 54. To a male nurse, when are you going to make doctor? 55. To someone who stutters, just spit it out. 56. To a patient in the emergency room, hey, how’s it going? 57. When you eat something and say it’s awful and then ask, do you want a bite? 58. How much did that cost you? 59. If someone tells you they are on a diet, does it work? 60. Is your child a boy or a girl? 61. Is this your grandchild? 62. Why do you always do that? 63. Asking, “What happened?” when learning of someone’s death. Instead just say “Sorry!” 64. Will you be using your senior discount? 65. What’s your credit rating? 66. What religion are you? 67. Did you pray about that? 68. Asking, “What’s happened?” when learning about a tragic event in someone’s life. 69. If you meet a Korean or Japanese person, are you Chinese? 70. Little Things Matter no 7:09 20 Business Texting Etiquette Tips http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/03/02/20-business-texting-tips/ http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/03/02/20-business-texting-tips/#comments Tue, 02 Mar 2010 08:45:03 +0000 Todd Smith http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/?p=815 With the advancements in smart phone technology, text messaging is becoming a more popular way to communicate. Commonly referred to as “texting”, this method of communication is simple, efficient and effective. But what’s considered acceptable when texting friends is very different than what is acceptable when texting business contacts. Here are 20 short tips to help you make good decisions. 1. Don’t send a text, unless it’s urgent. When you send people a text, in most cases you will be interrupting them. The default settings on most mobile phones ring or vibrate when it receives a text message. So if you are going to interrupt someone, make sure you have a good reason....read more]]> With the advancements in smart phone technology, text messaging is becoming a more popular way to communicate. Commonly referred to as “texting”, this method of communication is simple, efficient and effective. But what’s considered acceptable when texting friends is very different than what is acceptable when texting business contacts. Here are 20 short tips to help you make good decisions.

1.  Don’t send a text, unless it’s urgent. When you send people a text, in most cases you will be interrupting them. The default settings on most mobile phones ring or vibrate when it receives a text message. So if you are going to interrupt someone, make sure you have a good reason.

2.  Don’t send a text message if you can send an email. Every business professional I know checks his or her email at least twice a day and almost all of them prefer communication by e-mail rather than texting. For the most part, their reasons are time management based. People don’t like being interrupted unless it’s urgent and they are more productive if they respond to all their messages during scheduled blocks of time. For most people it’s also more efficient to type messages on a computer rather than on a phone.

3.  Don’t send a text if you should make a call. If you know that the subject of your message will require back and forth communication, either pick up the phone and call the person or if it’s not time sensitive, send an email requesting a specific time to talk. I also want to point out that business relationships are seldom built or strengthened through text messaging, so use it sparingly.

4.  Avoid texting people who don’t text you. According to a Success Magazine survey, only 4% of the business professionals surveyed prefer texting to other forms of communication. If you have never received a text message from someone, consider that they may not like to text.

5.  Don’t text bad news. If you have bad news to share with people, give them the courtesy of a call. Emailing or texting bad news is a cop out.

6.  Don’t type in CAPS. Reading CAPS is harder and is generally referred to as YELLING!

7.  Don’t assume people know what all the acronyms and text slang mean. Not everyone knows that ttyl means “talk to you later” or jk means “just kidding”. Say what you mean and make sure your messages present you as a business professional, rather than a texting junkie.

8.  Don’t text during meetings. If you send or read texts during a meeting, your actions convey that the meeting is not important to you. After all, how can you focus on the discussion that’s taking place if you are texting? It would be just like having a verbal side conversation. Clearly inconsiderate and disrespectful.

9.  Use punctuation. Type your texts using the same punctuation you would use in your emails. Since these are business texts, make sure they present you well.

10.  Don’t text after business hours unless there’s a good reason. If you have something to share with someone after business hours, consider using email. If you want people to respect your family and personal time, respect theirs. You also run the risk of losing your influence if you don’t respect people’s private time.

11.  Proof your messages. Take an extra few seconds and make sure you don’t have any misspellings or improper language. Be proud of the messages you send.

12.  Get to the point. Since a text message is limited to a small number of words, get to the point in your message and keep it from spilling over into another message. If you have a lot to share, consider picking up the phone or sending an email.

13.  Include your name. Unless you are absolutely certain that the recipient of your text has your name plugged into their phone, add your name to the end of the message.

14.  Watch your tone. Make sure you pay close attention to the tone of your message. If you are upset about something, pick up the phone and call the person.

15.  Return text messages. If someone sends you a text, they expect a response in a reasonable period of time. Show that you are a responsible person by returning all messages in a timely manner.

16.  Don’t send a text after leaving a message. As a general rule, if you call someone, you should always leave a message. After leaving a message, don’t follow up with a text message unless it is URGENT. Consider that your call interrupted them once. You don’t want your text to interrupt them a second time.

17.  Don’t leave people hanging. If you are done with a text conversation, let the person know.

18.  Don’t waste people’s time. Don’t send unnecessary text messages. As an example, when a text conversation is clearly over, don’t send another message. Once again, every text you send is likely to interrupt someone’s activity, meeting or train of thought.

19.  Show respect and courtesy. Whatever you do, consider how it affects those around you. Unless it’s urgent, avoid sending texts when you are spending time with people.

20.  Not while you are driving. While this seems like common sense, I am shocked by the number of people I see sending text messages in cars. Next to drunk drivers, distracted drivers are the second leading cause of fatal automobile accidents.

If you will follow these 20 text-messaging tips, you will be viewed as someone who is professional, considerate and respectful of other people’s time. You may want to consider implementing these same tips in your personal communications. Practicing these texting lessons will certainly bring more peace into your life and allow you to better control your time.

Don’t ever allow yourself to think something doesn’t matter. Everything matters!

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. Sign up to receive Todd’s daily lessons at Little ThingsMatter.com

Related Posts:

Stand Out From the Crowd

Learn to Control Interruptions

Cell Phone Etiquette

10 Ways to Make a Positive Impression Through Your Voicemail Messages

10 Ways to Make a Positive Impression When Greeting People

Phone Greetings That Make a Positive Impression

]]> http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/03/02/20-business-texting-tips/feed/ 11 Relationships With the advancements in smart phone technology, text messaging is becoming a more popular way to communicate. Commonly referred to as “texting”, this method of communication is simple, efficient and effective. (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2010/03/texting-image1.jpg)With the advancements in smart phone technology, text messaging is becoming a more popular way to communicate. Commonly referred to as “texting”, this method of communication is simple, efficient and effective. But what’s considered acceptable when texting friends is very different than what is acceptable when texting business contacts. Here are 20 short tips to help you make good decisions. 1.  Don’t send a text, unless it’s urgent. When you send people a text, in most cases you will be interrupting them. The default settings on most mobile phones ring or vibrate when it receives a text message. So if you are going to interrupt someone, make sure you have a good reason. 2.  Don’t send a text message if you can send an email. Every business professional I know checks his or her email at least twice a day and almost all of them prefer communication by e-mail rather than texting. For the most part, their reasons are time management based. People don’t like being interrupted unless it’s urgent and they are more productive if they respond to all their messages during scheduled blocks of time. For most people it’s also more efficient to type messages on a computer rather than on a phone. 3.  Don’t send a text if you should make a call. If you know that the subject of your message will require back and forth communication, either pick up the phone and call the person or if it’s not time sensitive, send an email requesting a specific time to talk. I also want to point out that business relationships are seldom built or strengthened through text messaging, so use it sparingly. 4.  Avoid texting people who don’t text you. According to a Success Magazine survey, only 4% of the business professionals surveyed prefer texting to other forms of communication. If you have never received a text message from someone, consider that they may not like to text. 5.  Don’t text bad news. If you have bad news to share with people, give them the courtesy of a call. Emailing or texting bad news is a cop out. 6.  Don’t type in CAPS. Reading CAPS is harder and is generally referred to as YELLING! 7.  Don’t assume people know what all the acronyms and text slang mean. Not everyone knows that ttyl means "talk to you later" or jk means "just kidding". Say what you mean and make sure your messages present you as a business professional, rather than a texting junkie. 8.  Don’t text during meetings. If you send or read texts during a meeting, your actions convey that the meeting is not important to you. After all, how can you focus on the discussion that’s taking place if you are texting? It would be just like having a verbal side conversation. Clearly inconsiderate and disrespectful. 9.  Use punctuation. Type your texts using the same punctuation you would use in your emails. Since these are business texts, make sure they present you well. 10.  Don’t text after business hours unless there’s a good reason. If you have something to share with someone after business hours, consider using email. If you want people to respect your family and personal time, respect theirs. You also run the risk of losing your influence if you don’t respect people’s private time. 11.  Proof your messages. Take an extra few seconds and make sure you don’t have any misspellings or improper language. Be proud of the messages you send. 12.  Get to the point. Since a text message is limited to a small number of words, get to the point in your message and keep it from spilling over into another message. If you have a lot to share, consider picking up the phone or sending an email. 13.  Include your name. Unless you are absolutely certain that the recipient of your text has your name plugged into their phone, add your name to the end of the message. 14.  Watch your tone. Little Things Matter no 7:09 10 Ways to Make a Positive Impression When Greeting People http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/02/26/10-ways-to-make-a-positive-impression-when-greeting-people/ http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/02/26/10-ways-to-make-a-positive-impression-when-greeting-people/#comments Fri, 26 Feb 2010 07:45:56 +0000 Todd Smith http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/?p=784 In yesterdays post Phone Greetings That Make a Positive Impression I shared with you some simple tips about how to make a positive impression when you greet people over the phone. Today’s lesson will focus on the strategies for making a good impression when you meet and greet people in person. 1. When you greet people in person for the first time—To make a positive first impression when meeting new people, include the following as part of your greeting: a warm smile, an introduction that includes your first and last name, a welcoming comment, direct eye contact and a firm handshake, if appropriate. I also recommend repeating the person’s name. For instance, “It’s very nice to meet you Bob.”....read more]]> In yesterdays post Phone Greetings That Make a Positive Impression I shared with you some simple tips about how to make a positive impression when you greet people over the phone. Today’s lesson will focus on the strategies for making a good impression when you meet and greet people in person.

1. When you greet people in person for the first time—To make a positive first impression when meeting new people, include the following as part of your greeting: a warm smile, an introduction that includes your first and last name, a welcoming comment, direct eye contact and a firm handshake, if appropriate. I also recommend repeating the person’s name. For instance, “It’s very nice to meet you Bob.”

2. When you meet people who don’t tell you their name—If this occurs, simply ask them for their name. I might say, “I didn’t catch your name.” After they respond, I will repeat their name as described in the previous point. This is a simple way of demonstrating your interest in them.

3. When someone introduces you and does not include your name—When you are introduced to someone and the person making the introduction doesn’t include your name, it’s likely they forgot it or they don’t know how to make a proper introduction. In this case, offer a warm greeting as I described in the first tip and be sure to include your first and last name. This will prove you are paying attention and that you realize your name was omitted.

4. When you greet someone who likely forgot your name—When I greet people I have not seen in a while, I always take the initiative to introduce myself by name. I could say, “Hi Paul; Todd Smith; how are you doing?” If I don’t remember the person’s name, I will introduce myself by sharing my name and hope they respond by sharing theirs. If people don’t offer their name in the greeting, I will often say something like, “Will you kindly remind me of your name?”

5. When you are not introduced—I was with a friend in a restaurant recently and a couple of his friends stopped by the table to say hi. He talked to them for a few minutes but never introduced me. The proper etiquette in this circumstance would have been for him to introduce me to his friends.

When I’m not introduced to people, I generally respond by introducing myself if the right opportunity presents itself. This seems to make everyone feel more comfortable.

6. When you meet with a group of people you DON’T know—Have you ever walked into a room with a small group of people you didn’t know and stood there awkwardly not knowing what you should do? If this happens, be proactive and introduce yourself to each person in the room. This will make you stand out from the group as someone with confidence. It will also make everyone feel more at ease.

7. When you meet with a group of people you DO know—When you get together with a group of friends or business associates, immediately greet each person with a friendly greeting. As new people join the group, be the first one to show you care by greeting them. My daughter Hannah calls this “Being Like a Dog.” Dogs are always happy to see you and they’re the first ones to greet you.

8. When you meet with a group of people-some you know and some you don’t know—When I find myself in this situation, I will always greet the people I know and introduce myself to the people I have not yet met. Once again, this seems to make everyone in the group feel comfortable.

9. When you greet a receptionist—Whether you are greeting the receptionist at your dentist’s office or at the offices of one of your clients, always introduce yourself with a smile and friendly greeting. For instance, “Hi my name is Todd Smith, I have a 4:00 appointment with Steve Johnson.” In the case of a business environment, I always hand the receptionist my business card to go along with my verbal introduction.

10. Practice, practice, practice—If you will follow these tips, you can be assured of making a positive first impression and enhance your existing relationships. You will be viewed as someone who is friendly, confident and recognizes the value of making people feel comfortable. I realize some of these recommendations may feel a little uncomfortable at first, but like anything, the more you do it, the more comfortable it will become.

When you show an interest in others and the things important to them, they will show an interest in you and the things important to you!

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter.To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

Related Post:

Phone Greeting That Make a Positive Impression

The Fundamentals of Eye Contact

20 Tips for Positive Group Interactions

Handshakes Really Do Matter

The Value of Remembering Names

Make a Positive Impression With Your Personal Voicemail Greeting

10 First Impressions That Matter

10 Ways To Be A Good Listener

10 Simple Ways to Show Your Sincere Interest in Others

10 Ways To Stand Out at The Next Party

]]> http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/02/26/10-ways-to-make-a-positive-impression-when-greeting-people/feed/ 45 Appearance,Building Rapport,Communication,Confidence,In-person Communication,Likability,Personal Brand,Relationships In yesterdays post Phone Greetings That Make a Positive Impression I shared with you some simple tips about how to make a positive impression when you greet people over the phone. Today’s lesson will focus on the strategies for making a good impressio... (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2010/02/Greet-in-Person-image1.jpg)In yesterdays post Phone Greetings That Make a Positive Impression (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/02/25/phone-greetings-that-make-a-positiv... Little Things Matter no 5:27 20 Tips for Important Dinner Engagements http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/02/05/20-tips-for-important-dinner-engagements/ http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/02/05/20-tips-for-important-dinner-engagements/#comments Fri, 05 Feb 2010 07:45:16 +0000 Todd Smith http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/?p=519 This week I attended a black tie dinner in Bangkok, Thailand. Not only was it a great opportunity to spend time with a group of distinguished leaders from around the world, but it was also served as a reminder of the importance of proper dinner etiquette. I am far from being Mr. Manners, but I have learned a lot over my career about how to handle myself at important dinner engagements. In this lesson I will highlight the top twenty things I’ve learned about being a dinner guest. By following these simple rules you will make a positive impression on everyone at the table. 1.Prepare in advance—Make sure you know what you are going to wear including all the accessories and give yourself plenty of time to get ready. I won’t tell you about the time I left my tuxedo shirt at home and didn’t realize it until I was getting dressed in my hotel room. 2.Look good—Discover what the dress code is in advance and make sure you look your best. If you are unsure, you are better off over dressing than under dressing. One of the last things you want to do for an important dinner is to feel under dressed...... read more]]> This week I attended a black tie dinner in Bangkok, Thailand. Not only was it a great opportunity to spend time with a group of distinguished leaders from around the world, but it was also served as a reminder of the importance of proper dinner etiquette. I am far from being Mr. Manners, but I have learned a lot over my career about how to handle myself at important dinner engagements.

In this lesson I will highlight the top twenty things I’ve learned about being a dinner guest. By following these simple rules you will make a positive impression on everyone at the table.

1.Prepare in advance—Make sure you know what you are going to wear including all the accessories and give yourself plenty of time to get ready. I won’t tell you about the time I left my tuxedo shirt at home and didn’t realize it until I was getting dressed in my hotel room.

2.Look good—Discover what the dress code is in advance and make sure you look your best. If you are unsure, you are better off over dressing than under dressing. One of the last things you want to do for an important dinner is to feel under dressed.

3.Arrive early—Not only do you want to be respectful of everyone’s time, but also it feels good to arrive at important appointments early. Being early is a stress reliever. Just don’t be too early as you don’t want to catch your host and hostess off guard and unprepared for your arrival.

4.Greet everyone—Make sure you greet each dinner guest with a warm smile, a firm handshake if appropriate, and repeat his or her name.

5.Wait to be seated—Ask the host where he or she would like you to sit. You want to be respectful of how they would like the group seated.

6.Don’t be the first to order an alcoholic drink—I enjoy a nice glass wine when dining out but I wait to see what the other guests request. A cold glass of water is a good choice and then if everyone else orders an alcoholic beverage, you can order one as well.

7.Go with the flow—If everyone at the table is drinking plain water, don’t ask for sparkling water. Remember, the more people feel they have something in common with you, the more connected they will feel with you. And it just plainly makes things easier.

8.Focus your attention on the person talking—When someone is talking, make sure you maintain 100% eye contact with this person. This demonstrates your respect for the person and indicates that the topic of conversation is of interest to you. This is even true when the waiter arrives at your table to take a drink or dinner order. If you turn your attention to the waiter, then you are indicating the waiter is more important than your dinner guest.

9.Include everyone when talking—When you are the one talking, be sure to share eye contact with each person at the table. This action demonstrates that each person is important to you. It also communicates to them that you understand the importance of including them in the conversation.

10.Think before you speak—Don’t be quick to jump into the conversation. Instead be a respectful listener and observer. When you do talk, carefully consider what you say.

11.Don’t talk about yourself—Unless someone asks you to talk about yourself, resist the temptation. Instead, show an interest in others by asking questions about them and their interests. Then listen attentively and continue the conversation accordingly.

12.Don’t start a side conversation—Be sure to focus your attention on the person speaking, even if they aren’t making eye contact with you. They may not understand its significance.

13.Don’t change the conversation—Unless a conversation is clearly over, don’t change the topic being discussed. If you change the conversation it could be perceived that you don’t have an interest in what’s being discussed.

14.Leaving the table—Don’t get up to leave the table in the middle of a conversation. Wait until there is a pause or a shift in the conversation. Otherwise your actions could be interpreted as a lack of interest in the conversation and the person speaking may well take offense.

15.Wait until everyone is served—Wait until everyone has received his or her food before you start eating.

16.Don’t cut up all the food on your plate—Since you are not feeding your two year old, cut up your food as you go. Sorry, if this sounds trivial or condescending but I have seen far too many people do this!

17.Don’t drink too much—Of all times you don’t want to over drink, important dinner engagements ranks at the top of the list. If you want more to drink, then wait until the dinner party is over.

18.Pass it—If someone asks for the rolls that are in front of your place, always pass them the basket without taking one. After they take what they want, you can ask that it be passed back to you and at that time it is appropriate to take one.

19.Be on your best behavior—Sit up straight; leave your elbows off the table; don’t pick your teeth and all the other things your mother taught you!

20.Help clean up—If the dinner engagement is at someone’s home, help clean up. If they decline your offer, simply say, “I would enjoy helping you clean up. Would you please allow me to help you?” When they accept your offer, help them clean up until the job is finished or until your host wants to take a break. If they decline your help because they would rather continue the conversation in another room, ask them again when the party is over.

Let me encourage you to follow these twenty tips at your next dinner engagement. If you do, you will make a positive impression on everyone, you will feel good about yourself and who you are becoming and your value to the market will grow.

If you like the lessons I am sharing through my daily blog posts and podcasts, I would appreciate it if you tell your friends, family and business associates about my blog at LittleThingsMatter.com.

Remember, you can make a positive impression on others if you will focus on the little things that matter.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter.To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

Related Posts:

20 Business Texting Etiquette Tips

Building Rapport By Making Others Comfortable

25 Unexpected Ways to Make Someone’s Day

The 12 Fastest Ways to Build Rapport (Part 1)

The 12 Fastest Ways to Build Rapport (Part 2)

10 Ways To Stand Out at The Next Party

To Earn Respect You Must Show Respect

10 Tips For Balancing Your Career and Family

Do You Say Things You Later Regret?

Sometimes Five Seconds Is All It Takes

My Top 10 Phone Tips (Part 1)

My Top 10 Phone Tips (Part 2)

]]> http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/02/05/20-tips-for-important-dinner-engagements/feed/ 10 Relationships This week I attended a black tie dinner in Bangkok, Thailand. Not only was it a great opportunity to spend time with a group of distinguished leaders from around the world, but it was also served as a reminder of the importance of proper dinner etiquet... (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2010/02/Dinner-Engagements.jpg)This week I attended a black tie dinner in Bangkok, Thailand. Not only was it a great opportunity to spend time with a group of distinguished leaders from around the world, but it was also served as a reminder of the importance of proper dinner etiquette. I am far from being Mr. Manners (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judith_Martin), but I have learned a lot over my career about how to handle myself at important dinner engagements. In this lesson I will highlight the top twenty things I’ve learned about being a dinner guest. By following these simple rules you will make a positive impression on everyone at the table. 1.Prepare in advance—Make sure you know what you are going to wear including all the accessories and give yourself plenty of time to get ready. I won’t tell you about the time I left my tuxedo shirt at home and didn’t realize it until I was getting dressed in my hotel room. 2.Look good—Discover what the dress code is in advance and make sure you look your best. If you are unsure, you are better off over dressing than under dressing. One of the last things you want to do for an important dinner is to feel under dressed. 3.Arrive early—Not only do you want to be respectful of everyone’s time, but also it feels good to arrive at important appointments early. Being early is a stress reliever. Just don’t be too early as you don’t want to catch your host and hostess off guard and unprepared for your arrival. 4.Greet everyone—Make sure you greet each dinner guest with a warm smile (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/26/the-power-of-your-smile/), a firm handshake (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/28/handshakes-really-do-matter/) if appropriate, and repeat his or her name. 5.Wait to be seated—Ask the host where he or she would like you to sit. You want to be respectful of how they would like the group seated. 6.Don’t be the first to order an alcoholic drink—I enjoy a nice glass wine when dining out but I wait to see what the other guests request. A cold glass of water is a good choice and then if everyone else orders an alcoholic beverage, you can order one as well. 7.Go with the flow—If everyone at the table is drinking plain water, don’t ask for sparkling water. Remember, the more people feel they have something in common with you, the more connected they will feel with you. And it just plainly makes things easier. 8.Focus your attention on the person talking—When someone is talking, make sure you maintain 100% eye contact (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/29/the-fundamentals-of-eye-contact/) with this person. This demonstrates your respect for the person and indicates that the topic of conversation is of interest to you. This is even true when the waiter arrives at your table to take a drink or dinner order. If you turn your attention to the waiter, then you are indicating the waiter is more important than your dinner guest. 9.Include everyone when talking—When you are the one talking, be sure to share eye contact with each person at the table. This action demonstrates that each person is important to you. It also communicates to them that you understand the importance of including them in the conversation. 10.Think before you speak—Don’t be quick to jump into the conversation. Instead be a respectful listener and observer. When you do talk, carefully consider what you say. 11.Don’t talk about yourself—Unless someone asks you to talk about yourself, resist the temptation. Instead, show an interest in others by asking questions about them and their interests. Then listen attentively and continue the conversation accordingly. 12.Don’t start a side conversation—Be sure to focus your attention on the person speaking, even if they aren’t making eye contact with you. They may not understand its significance. 13. Little Things Matter no 6:44 Handshakes Really Do Matter http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/28/handshakes-really-do-matter/ http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/28/handshakes-really-do-matter/#comments Thu, 28 Jan 2010 08:45:40 +0000 Todd Smith http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/?p=464 The impression you make on people through your handshake influences how they feel about you. A proper handshake is even more important when meeting people for the first time. First impressions are lasting impressions. The manner in which you extend your hand, the degree of firmness and the timing demonstrate your poise and confidence and will inevitably set the tone for your relationship. In this lesson we will explore the specifics of handshake etiquette and examine how a handshake can enhance your brand. I know some of you are thinking, Come on Todd, I know how to shake someone’s hand. But realistically when was the last time you analyzed your handshake? Consider these questions:...read more]]> The impression you make on people through your handshake influences how they feel about you. A proper handshake is even more important when meeting people for the first time. First impressions are lasting impressions. The manner in which you extend your hand, the degree of firmness and the timing demonstrate your poise and confidence and will inevitably set the tone for your relationship. In this lesson we will explore the specifics of handshake etiquette and examine how a handshake can enhance your brand.

I know some of you are thinking, Come on Todd, I know how to shake someone’s hand. But realistically when was the last time you analyzed your handshake? Consider these questions:

  • If you are a male and you meet a female, who should extend their hand first?
  • If you are a male and you are meeting another male, who should extend his hand first?
  • If you are a female and you are meeting a male, who should extend their hand first?
  • If you are a female and you are meeting another female, who should extend her hand first?

Here are the answers:

  • If you are a male and you are meeting a female, you should wait for her to extend her hand first. If she does not initiate a handshake, do not be offended.
  • If you are a male and you are meeting another male, you should always extend your hand first. This is a sign of confidence and self-assurance.
  • If you are a female and you are meeting a male, you should extend your hand first. Even though women are a significant part of the business world, men are still confused about proper behavior. Be mindful and extend your hand. This will put the man at ease and is also sign of your confidence and self-assurance.
  • If you are a female and you are meeting another female, my successful female friends tell me they always extend their hand first in a business setting.

Here are a few more questions to consider:

  • When should you shake someone’s hand?

Every time I greet a male I shake his hand. Every time I meet a female who extends her hand to me, I shake it. This simple rule applies if it’s a Super bowl party or a business meeting.

  • How firmly should you squeeze someone’s hand?

Well, you don’t want to feel like a limp noodle nor do you want to crack their knuckles. The best description I can offer you is “comfortably firm.” This is true for both men and women. In business, I have never heard of an occasion where either a male or female would consider a soft, wimpy handshake acceptable. How would you describe your handshake? Firm? Aggressive? Wimpy? If you don’t know, shake the hand of a good friend and ask for feedback.

As you shake people’s hands make sure you grip their entire hand and not just their fingers because you closed your hand prematurely. I hate it when that happens!

  • When should you let go of your grip?

The answer: You should let go, when they let go. I often encounter people who want to hold my hand for an extra few seconds as they greet me. So as long as they want to hold my hand, I hold theirs.

Furthermore, you don’t want to hurry out of the handshake, as this will be an indication that you are not genuine in your greeting but rather just using the motion as a formality.

One last question. Let’s see how you do on this one.

  • If you extend your hand to people and they do not extend their hand in return, what should you do? Should you retract your hand or hold your hand there until they accept it?

The answer: hold it there until they grasp your hand. Removing your hand conveys a lack of confidence.

Here’s my challenge to you. Beginning with the next person you meet, focus on making a positive impression of yourself through your handshake. It may be a little uncomfortable or awkward at first, but like every lesson you are learning, the more you practice it, the better you will do.

If you will focus on doing the little things to make a positive impression on others, your value to the market will grow and your life will become more enjoyable and fulfilling.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter.To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

Related Posts:

How Likable are You?

The Ripple Effect of a Smile

The Importance of Being On Time

What’s Your Brand?

Modeling Builds Rapport

The Fundamentals of Eye Contact

Cell Phone Etiquette

20 Tips for Important Dinner Engagements

The Value of Remembering Names

Make Your Appearance an Asset

Stand Out From the Crowd

10 Ways to Enhance Your Online Brand

Phone Greetings That Make a Positive Impression

10 Ways to Make a Positive Impression When Greeting People

10 Ways to Make a Positive Impression Through Your Voicemail Messages

20 Business Texting Etiquette Tips

10 Ways To Be A Good Listener

Make a Positive Impression With Your Personal Voicemail Greeting

The Power of the Written Word

10 Simple Ways to Show Your Sincere Interest in Others

My Top 10 Phone Tips (Part 1)

My Top 10 Phone Tips (Part 2)

The Value of Being Clear and Concise in Your Communications

What’s Your Email Brand?

My Top 33 Email Tips (Part 1)

My Top 33 Email Tips (Part 2)

20 Tips for Positive Group Interactions

Sometimes Five Seconds Is All It Takes

]]> http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/28/handshakes-really-do-matter/feed/ 20 Confidence,Personal Brand,Relationships The impression you make on people through your handshake influences how they feel about you. A proper handshake is even more important when meeting people for the first time. First impressions are lasting impressions. (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2010/01/handshake-image1.jpg)The impression you make on people through your handshake influences how they feel about you. A proper handshake is even more important when meeting people for the first time. First impressions are lasting impressions. The manner in which you extend your hand, the degree of firmness and the timing demonstrate your poise and confidence and will inevitably set the tone for your relationship. In this lesson we will explore the specifics of handshake etiquette and examine how a handshake can enhance your brand (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/22/whats-your-brand/). (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/22/whats-your-brand/) I know some of you are thinking, Come on Todd, I know how to shake someone’s hand. But realistically when was the last time you analyzed your handshake? Consider these questions: * If you are a male and you meet a female, who should extend their hand first? * If you are a male and you are meeting another male, who should extend his hand first? * If you are a female and you are meeting a male, who should extend their hand first? * If you are a female and you are meeting another female, who should extend her hand first? Here are the answers: * If you are a male and you are meeting a female, you should wait for her to extend her hand first. If she does not initiate a handshake, do not be offended. * If you are a male and you are meeting another male, you should always extend your hand first. This is a sign of confidence and self-assurance. * If you are a female and you are meeting a male, you should extend your hand first. Even though women are a significant part of the business world, men are still confused about proper behavior. Be mindful and extend your hand. This will put the man at ease and is also sign of your confidence and self-assurance. * If you are a female and you are meeting another female, my successful female friends tell me they always extend their hand first in a business setting. Here are a few more questions to consider: * When should you shake someone’s hand? Every time I greet a male I shake his hand. Every time I meet a female who extends her hand to me, I shake it. This simple rule applies if it’s a Super bowl party or a business meeting. * How firmly should you squeeze someone’s hand? Well, you don’t want to feel like a limp noodle nor do you want to crack their knuckles. The best description I can offer you is “comfortably firm.” This is true for both men and women. In business, I have never heard of an occasion where either a male or female would consider a soft, wimpy handshake acceptable. How would you describe your handshake? Firm? Aggressive? Wimpy? If you don’t know, shake the hand of a good friend and ask for feedback. As you shake people’s hands make sure you grip their entire hand and not just their fingers because you closed your hand prematurely. I hate it when that happens! * When should you let go of your grip? The answer: You should let go, when they let go. I often encounter people who want to hold my hand for an extra few seconds as they greet me. So as long as they want to hold my hand, I hold theirs. Furthermore, you don’t want to hurry out of the handshake, as this will be an indication that you are not genuine in your greeting but rather just using the motion as a formality. One last question. Let’s see how you do on this one. * If you extend your hand to people and they do not extend their hand in return, what should you do? Should you retract your hand or hold your hand there until they accept it? The answer: hold it there until they grasp your hand. Removing your hand conveys a lack of confidence. Here’s my challenge to you. Beginning with the next person you meet, focus on making a positive impression of yourself through your handshake. Little Things Matter no 4:43