How we compete is a reflection of our character and influences the way others perceive us in other areas of our lives.

Today’s lesson introduces ten traits of great competitors. Applicable in any competitive situation, adopting these traits will help you become a more respected rival.

Before you review the traits below, think of the last competition you were involved in. Maybe it was a heated game of family Monopoly, a high-stakes sales competition, or an intense tennis match. Whatever the circumstance, reflect on your behavior as you read through this list. What areas are most important to you? In which areas do you need to improve?

Ten Competitive Traits to Master

1. Congratulate your opponents when they win or experience success. This is the first rule of good sportsmanship and is equally applicable in the workplace.  Extending congratulations demonstrates that you are not a poor sport and lets others know that you are not harboring ill feelings that will linger after the competition has ended.

2. Be a gracious winner. Never rub a loss in your opponent’s face. No one cares to be around people who gloat over their wins.

3. Celebrate respectfully. It’s normal to feel good after a win of any kind and to want to celebrate, but be conscious of those around you who may not share in your jubilation. Excessive celebration will be a turnoff to most people.

4. Maintain a sense of decorum. Always be mindful not to say derogatory things about your competitor, their team, or their candidate. Remember (unless you are a prizefighter) when you speak poorly of your competitors it damages your credibility and reputation in the process.

5. Keep a consistent attitude whether you win or lose. Michael Jordan, one of the best basketball players of all time, was also one of the most respected competitors for the way he handled himself both on the court and off the court. Virtually all of the teams and players he competed against over the course of his basketball career speak equally about his gifted abilities and his humble demeanor.

6. Use restraint. Take care not to be overly competitive in individual or group activities. If you’re on a team, play your part or your position; don’t try to cover for anyone else. If it’s an individual contest, do your best, but also use your opponent’s level of ability as a guide for how intense your participation should be.

7. Keep a lid on your frustration. If you must rely on others to win a competition and find yourself frustrated, try not to let it show. This only discourages your teammates and makes you appear self-righteous. Instead be the voice of encouragement.

8. Play fair. You lose all credibility as a worthy competitor when you cheat. Even worse, you will lose people’s respect.

9. Give the advantage to your opponent. When a play or other measure of performance is questionable, give your opponent the benefit of the doubt.  Rarely will this cost you the competition, and it will always reflect well on your character.  After all, how do you feel about people who give you the benefit of doubt?

10. Avoid complaining.  No matter how you disguise it, when you complain about any aspect of a competition, it is perceived as whining, and nobody enjoys being around a whiner.

If you are as much a competitor as I am, some of these points will require self-control and some serious self-talk.  I must admit that most of these lessons I learned the hard way.

The next time you find yourself in the middle of a competition, remember it’s how you compete that will leave a lasting impression, not whether you win or lose.

Great competitors earn respect, both in the way they compete and in how they handle themselves after their victories and defeats.

Which of the above traits do you think most people struggle with? What are the things others do that bother you?  Please post your thoughts in the comment section below this post.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #40 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Your Words Are a Mirror

What we say about others reflects on our own character. Specifically, when we speak unfavorably of others, it not only hurts the person our words are aimed at, but it also damages our credibility and reputation in the process.

Richard Carlson put it this way: “ When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.”

When we speak negatively about someone else, others often perceive it as a ploy for our own personal gain.

When our words persuade others to our point of view as to the faults and shortcomings of someone who is not present, we are taking unfair advantage of that person. This holds true whether we’re talking about an individual, a group, or a business.

The Critical Cashier

For example, last week, I was in my local supermarket picking up a bag of ice. I took a shortcut through one of the empty lanes to get to the service desk since I was only purchasing one item.

A cashier happened to be in that lane and said he could help me. I told him I didn’t realize his lane was open because he was standing off to the side. He proceeded to tell me about the “stupid policies” of the store. He ranted about various things during my purchase and spoke nothing but ill of his employer.

All the time he was unloading his personal dissatisfaction, I was questioning his motives and forming my impression of him—and it wasn’t a good one!  I immediately summed him up as an inconsiderate employee who failed to see himself as a store representative with an obligation to act and speak accordingly.

Positivity Is Good for Your Reputation

It is also important to keep in mind that where your attention goes, so goes you’re your emotional energy. Focus on positive things and your life will be positive; focus on negative things and your life will be negative. When you say destructive things about others, your emotional energy is also negatively affected.

On the other hand, when you brand yourself as someone who refrains from speaking disapprovingly of others, not only will people’s respect for you grow, but you will also be happier. When you hold back saying something negative about someone else—especially when given the opportunity—you exemplify self-control and concern for others.

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” Dale Carnegie

Do not, however, confuse speaking of someone in a derogatory way with participating in a formal critique, such as job performance reviews or when you are asked to point out deficiencies for the purpose of helping someone improve in certain areas. In these instances, use tact and diplomacy to focus on performance issues and always avoid personal attacks.

Tips for Avoiding Negative Conversations

• Refuse to engage in negative conversations about others.

• Refuse to be part of groups who speak poorly of others. Remember that if you are surrounded by people who thrive on cutting others down, it may be time for you to reconsider with whom you spend your time.

• Avoid making negative or unflattering comments about other people by remembering that your comments influence people’s views of you.

Sometimes figuratively (and sometimes literally) I bite my tongue when I am on the verge of saying something negative. I do so knowing that quelling the urge to speak my mind on impulse helps me show consideration for others, uphold my values, and maintain my reputation.

You can build a reputation that commands respect by refusing to speak negatively of others in all circumstances—regardless of who is or isn’t present.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #42 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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When you are intentional about doing things that make others feel good, you create a special connection that accelerates new relationships and nurtures existing ones.

The Values of Making People Feel Good

Recently, I talked about habits we have that bug people and the damaging effect that can have on our reputations. However, doing things that make people feel good is quite the opposite. Not only does it brighten someone’s day, but it’s a positive reflection on you and enhances your reputation.

Let’s look at a couple areas in your life and see the results.

• In the workplace, making your co-workers feel good will enhance the work environment, making it more enjoyable; it will also increase your influence with them.

• In your business, making your clients and customers feel good will draw them closer to you; it will also increase your sales.

• In the home, it will bind your family members closer together, turning your house into a happy home.

Because I have seen the results of reciprocal goodwill in action, I am intentional in my own life about doing things that I know make people feel good.

Ten Ways to Improve People’s Lives

When you make people feel good, you enhance their self-image and give them energy, hope, and confidence. Below are ten simple ways you can make people feel good.

1. Encourage. What sunshine and rain do for flowers, encouragement does for humanity. Regardless of one’s position in life, everyone needs to hear words of encouragement.
“Three billion people on the face of the earth go to bed hungry every night, but four billion people go to bed every night hungry for a simple word of encouragement and recognition.”    — Robert Cavett

2. Compliment Sincerely. You can compliment someone for a job well done or on an admirable characteristic you have noticed. If you can’t do it in person, don’t hesitate to use another means like a card, thoughtful email, or text message.

3. Praise Publicly. Boost someone’s confidence by commending their efforts in front of others, either verbally or in writing. You can also do this with people who serve you, such as a store clerk, waitress, or receptionist who has gone the extra mile to assist you.

4. Listen Thoughtfully. Focus on listening, not just hearing. When you are an attentive listener, people sense your care and concern and are comforted that their feelings and experiences are validated.

5. Serve Willingly. The next time you notice that a co-worker is under the gun and needs a hand, volunteer to help. Or offer to assist someone who has a task to do that they don’t want to do.  In doing so, you will help them see themselves as worthy of your efforts and attention.

6. Show Genuine Interest. Ask about something important to them and concentrate on what they have to say. Remembering and commenting on their hobbies, sports, vacations, or family at a later date will prove that you have a sincere interest in their lives.

7. Express Love Unselfishly.  Every person has a primary love language that dictates the ways they prefer to be loved. When we understand and love people the way they need to be loved (not just the way that satisfies our needs), it draws them closer to us and us to them. See a post from my wife Joy about this subject here.

8. Make a Friendly Call. It doesn’t have to be important or a special day, just call to let a friend or family member know you are thinking of them.  Asking how someone is doing is always appreciated.
“The deepest principle of human nature is a craving to be appreciated.”   —William James

9. Give a Gift. It doesn’t need to be expensive. It can be a small bouquet of flowers or a card. In this department, it’s most definitely the thought that counts. Hallmark has captured the essence in their advertisement: You cared enough to send. . .”

10. Smile Often. A sincere smile never goes out of style; it can mean different things to different people. A smile can brighten people’s day in an instant, and they’ll appreciate that you made the effort to acknowledge them.

Starting today, I encourage you to start doing the things like those listed above that make people feel good. If you need some additional inspiration, be sure to read my post, 25 Unexpected Ways to Make Someone’s Day. If you have some suggestions of your own, please share them in the comment section below.

Taking the time to make others feel good may be one of the most gratifying things you do; you’ll experience great rewards when you are the one responsible for positive changes in someone’s overall demeanor and attitude.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #46 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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While the Internet now allows us to connect in new ways and stay connected regardless of where we are, the fundamental skills of building relationships remain unchanged.

Today’s lesson is an important reminder for all of us that the key to any long-term relationship is making sure that you give at least as much as you get.

The value of relationships

One of the most basic needs of humans is to have meaningful relationships with other people. Relationships connect us to each other in every aspect of our lives.

One of the greatest regrets many individuals express at the end of their lives is the lack of time they spent with their spouse, children, and special people. It’s time given to our loved ones and friends that fulfills us and brings meaning to our lives.

There are other benefits as well. Wholesome, long-term relationships bring happiness and health to our lives. Studies show that people with enriching relationships really do have more happiness and they experience less stress.

Long-term relationships require deposits

Enduring relationships are those that may last 5, 10, 15, or more years. Clearly, not every relationship falls into this category, but if you want to build a long-term relationship—one that feeds and sustains you in the different areas of your life—you will need to be deliberate about the time and attention you give.

For any relationship to last over a long period of time, it must be the kind where you offer value and meet the needs of the other person. I sometimes refer to this as making deposits into the relationship.

I like the way Anthony Robbins explains this concept.

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.”

You can make deposits to any relationship by starting to do the little things that show your interest and that you truly care. Here are just a few of the 101 things you can do:

• Send an email just to say hi without asking for anything.
• Call to see how a son or daughter performed in a recent activity.
• Send a card or email on a holiday or birthday to tell them you are thinking about them.
• Express appreciation through a thank-you note or phone call for something done for you.
• Help them in times of need.
• Encourage them when starting new things.
• Compliment them on the things they do well.
• Be a support during times of struggle and grief.

I try my best to make regular deposits into all my relationships. From listening to offering a helping hand when needed, I am intentional about putting more into the relationships I value than I ever plan to take out. Not only does this give me satisfaction from knowing that this is the right thing to do, it feels good and draws me closer them.

How to nurture your relationships

The best way to nurture your relationships is to contribute to each of them according to their needs and expectations. Take a few moments to ask yourself these questions:

• What are the specific needs and expectations of my employer, customer, or client?
• What are the needs and desires of my spouse or significant other?
• What do my friends need in their relationships with me?

To help you put this lesson into perspective, make a note of the five people closest to you. These should be people with whom you have or desire to have a lasting relationship. Include on your list at least one family member, one friend, and at least one person you work for or with whom you do business.

Next, ask yourself, What does ________ (someone’s name) need from a relationship with me and what can I do to provide it?

Remember that what you decide to deposit into each relationship should depend on that person’s specific needs.

When you start asking what you can do to improve your relationships with others—rather than asking what they can do for you—your relationships will bring you joy and satisfaction and brighten the lives of those you care about.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #43 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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This advice is as good today as it was when you were five years old. It still applies whenever you receive a gift—and that includes the gift of a compliment.

Graciously accepting a compliment in any setting is not only good manners, it’s a sign of someone who is confident and self-assured. It’s also a way to build rapport by acknowledging the compliment paid.

Today’s lesson on accepting compliments will help you see that this little thing can be a huge boost to your reputation.

There are a number of theories as to why people have a hard time accepting compliments. Reasons range from wanting to appear modest or not feeling as if the compliment is deserved to doubting the sincerity of the person giving the compliment.

What you may not realize, however, is that rejecting, deflecting, or not properly acknowledging a compliment creates a negative impression for three specific reasons.

1.  Discounts the intentions of the person giving the compliment
2.  Sends the message that you think the giver’s opinion is flawed
3.  Suggests that you don’t value your own abilities or talents

Remember that everybody is busy.  We all have our own concerns to look after, so when someone takes notice of something we’ve done well and makes an effort to tell us, we owe it to them to acknowledge their thoughtfulness.

Do You Recognize a Compliment When You Hear One?

Defined as an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration, compliments should be pretty easy to recognize, but can be tough to spot when we’re focused on ourselves. Here are two examples:

“Have you lost weight, Mary? You look terrific!”

• “It must be the outfit.”

Mary is sending a message that she’s self conscious about her weight and/or she doesn’t deserve credit for her efforts.

“I’m really happy with the way you handled yourself on that call, Bill.”

• “Yea, but I wish I would have remembered to tell them about the discount.

Bill is sending a message that he doesn’t think he’s good enough and that he is not able to see the potential benefit that may come from his contribution.

Responding to a Compliment

These two examples may seem obvious, but remember that compliments come in many forms. Whatever the situation, there is a proper way to acknowledge praise, commendation, or admiration.

• Make eye contact. Acknowledging a compliment is a perfect time to connect with someone. Look the person in the eye when you respond. Doing so communicates sincerity and self-confidence.

• Say, “Thank you.” A sincere, unhurried ‘thank you’ along with a smile and eye contact is more often than not all that is necessary.

• Don’t explain anything. If you feel moved, you can follow your ‘thank you’ with something positive. Doing so communicates desirable character traits such as friendliness and positivity. Caution: If you can’t keep it brief and will be tempted to explain or rationalize your action or accomplishment, leave it at a simple ‘thank you.’

Here’s how it might sound if Mary and Bill put this advice into practice:

“Have you lost weight, Mary? You look terrific!”

• Thanks, Barb. I feel great, too.

“I’m really happy with the way you handled yourself on that call, Bill.”

• Thank you, Jim. I appreciate the feedback.

Quite a difference, wouldn’t you say? My challenge for you today is three-fold:

1.  Listen for compliments given to others as you go about your business over the next week. How many times do you hear people rejecting or ignoring a compliment they receive?
2.  Give more compliments than you normally would. Notice the responses people give.
3.  Finally, put today’s advice into practice the very next time you receive a compliment.

Acknowledging a compliment paid is a simple, yet very effective way to make a positive impression and build a favorable reputation.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #50 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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The stories told, daily lessons posted, and life experiences shared are all about helping you grow in every area of your personal and professional life.

In today’s lesson, I want to bring attention to one of the core elements of your character—being a person of your word. There are very few subjects more important than your personal character. Being known as a person who honors your word is as simple as doing what you said you would do when you said you would do it.

Why Your Word Matters

In short, honoring your word plays a powerful role in how you are viewed by others. In the longer-term, it also plays a large part in how you view yourself. And, quite frankly, it dictates whether you are a person who is respected and accepted or disrespected and scorned.

It’s ironic that although nearly everyone will admit to valuing the importance of keeping your word, fewer and fewer people actually do it. As a result, when I see people who consistently live up to their commitments, my respect for them soars.

While honoring your word does include big things like marriage and business agreements, it also includes the little things you say you will do—such as calling when you said you would, remembering to let your neighbor’s pet in as you promised, and getting the report turned in on time.

Just as there are benefits to doing what you say you will, there are repercussions when you don’t. When we allow ourselves to back out of our commitments, it usually results in guilt and time wasted in our attempt to avoid those we’ve let down. I’ve learned it takes more time and emotional energy to circumvent or repair a damaged relationship when we’ve shirked a commitment than it does to keep it!

Keep Your Commitments

Undoubtedly there have been and will continue to be times when you agree to do something that you later regret. However, once you have agreed to do something, don’t back out or procrastinate. Don’t hope the other party will forget or wait for them to remind you. When you have given your word that you will do something, you must do it and do it when it is expected.

After you have fulfilled your obligation (however painful), learn from the experience. Why was it so hard to follow through? Was it a matter of time, or were you ill-equipped in the first place? Whatever the reason, figure it out and know that it should factor into the next time you are asked to do something similar.

Not only is living up to your commitments vital in building the trust and respect of others, but it is critical in building your own self-respect. Whether you realize it or not, when you fall back on your promises, it erodes your self-image and self-esteem. Think of the last commitment you failed to fulfill? How did this experience make you feel about yourself?

Think Before You Commit

Becoming a person whose word can be trusted and relied upon boils down to a few basic things.

1.  Think before you commit. With very few exceptions, you don’t have to immediately say yes or no to a request. Take an hour, an evening, or a day to think it through. Consider all that is involved and decide whether or not it’s something you are willing to commit your time and energy to. If not, politely decline.

2.  Once you have given your word, don’t give yourself the option to back out.

I have asked myself hundreds of times, “What was I thinking when I made that commitment?” When this happens, I muster everything I have to uphold my end of the bargain. I do that because I feel so strongly that honoring my word is essential to who I am. It’s one of my core values. As a result, I am very careful with the commitments I make.

My Challenge to You

• Starting today, become a person who lives up to your word and does what you say you will even when circumstances change.

• Uphold your word with a good attitude. Remember that it was you who said “yes” in the first place.
• Take every opportunity to learn from your commitments so that you can make better decisions in the future.
• Finally, do you have any unfulfilled commitments? Do them now. You will feel better.

Keeping your word is one of the most effective ways to earn the respect of others and build a solid reputation, both personally and professionally.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #47 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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I’ve learned that the only way to grow is to push yourself beyond what’s comfortable. I’ve found in my short life that you will not get better by doing what you always do. You have to use your personal initiative to go outside your comfort zone in your pursuit of success.

My First Job

This was reinforced last year when I started looking for my first job. Initially, I thought of two places where I wanted to work, but my dad challenged me to make a list of as many businesses as I could. I went through every option and thought about all the places within five miles of my house. It was a good thing I did because I was only 16 and most employers wouldn’t hire anyone under 18.

Within a week I landed my first interview with Publix Super Markets. I was very nervous! I had never been on an interview before. Would he/she like me? Would I present myself well? These were some of the questions I thought to myself. I remembered to do the little things that my dad had been teaching me such as, smiling, making eye contact, having a firm handshake, and speaking with confidence. Well, it worked; I got the job!

During my initial offsite training, which was also intimidating, I learned my basic responsibilities, which included bagging groceries, retrieving carts, and mopping the floors. I recall my first day on the job. My palms were sweaty. My heart was beating out of my chest. It was a completely new experience for me.

Moving Outside My Comfort Zone

Implementing what I learned combined with the little things my parents had taught me, I began to get better. I was a hard worker and the manager took notice quickly! After working there a few weeks I received compliments from the manager that I was a better worker than some of the kids who had worked there much longer than me.

At this point I was doing a good job with my assigned responsibilities, but there was still room for growth. Being an introvert, I was uncomfortable interacting with customers. My dad challenged me to be friendly with every customer whose groceries I bagged. This was difficult. On a typical 4-5 hour shift, I would bag between 80-100 people’s groceries.

The first day I was friendly and outgoing to two people. The next time it was five people. The next time 10, then 15, then 25. It was still uncomfortable but because I pushed myself to get better it got easier. By the 6^th day, I was friendly to 50 people! It still wasn’t natural but it wasn’t too uncomfortable to ask people how their day was going or talk about the weather!

My Reward

Everyone who knows me knows that I am a quiet and reserved person around strangers. But one of the top cashiers didn’t know me as that person. He told me one day, “You are very good with people.” I never thought in my life I would hear that! It just goes to show that anything is possible if you push yourself beyond what’s comfortable. The improvements I had made definitely gave me a feeling of accomplishment and made me feel better about myself.

In my short work experience, I’ve noticed that the first step outside your comfort zone is by far the hardest. But then it only gets easier! I want to challenge you to find something in your life that you can improve upon. Then push yourself to get better at it! You will be fulfilled and gain confidence as people around you take notice of your development.

“It takes courage to push yourself to places that you have never been before… to test your limits… to break through barriers. And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on Jake’s post.

About the Author: Jake Smith is the son of Todd Smith, founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #52 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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What Is Easy to Do Is Easy Not to Do

What Distinguishes You?

Juror #1 sensed that he was about to get an earful so he quickly asked, “Do you by any chance work at Lakeview High School?”  Juror #2 said that he did. Juror #1 replied, “You must be talking about Elaine. She’s my wife.”

Talk about an awkward situation! Like Juror #2, too few people realize that what they say and do can offend people and will likely have a ripple effect on their lives. It may be for a week, or it may be for a lifetime.

It is a Small World After All

At the heart of today’s lesson is the reality that it is indeed a small world. What’s more, the pervasiveness of the Internet in our personal and professional lives has shrunk our world even smaller. As a case in point, I’ve seen statistics ranging from 50% to 70% relating to the percentage of employers who now Google prospective employees.

By now, everyone has heard the career advice, “Don’t burn bridges,” and “Never say anything bad about a former employer in an interview.” I would go a step further and tell you, “Do not burn bridges in any area of your life. Period!”

Consider a few of these very plausible situations:

• The elderly person whose tire you change on the side of the road may be the brother of the chairman of the board at your company. This act of service may be the difference in getting that next promotion.
• The hostess at your favorite restaurant whom you always treat respectfully may be the daughter of your most valued prospective client.
• The neighbor you wave to and smile at every morning may be the person in charge of hiring for that job you really want.

On the other hand:

• The woman at the club whom you have treated with a cold shoulder may be the wife of your husbands most important customer.
• The man standing behind you in the grocery store who heard you being disrespectful to the cashier may be one of the business leaders on the scholarship committee at your daughter’s school.
• The coworker you excluded and made feel unwelcome at your last job may be best friends with your new boss.

The older I get, the more of these small-world “coincidences” I see.  I have come to understand and appreciate that we live in a connected world, and these connections play a vital role in our lives.

Reputation 101

The truth is you never know who someone knows or whether they might enter your life again at a future date. Why risk alienating anyone? Besides not being a nice thing to do, it can have devastating effects on your reputation.

Every interaction you have with someone does one of two things: it helps your reputation, or it hurts your reputation. Here’s a perfect example.

One evening I was in a hurry to get home for an important call when I pulled into my residential area behind a car that was going 10 MPH in a 25 MPH zone.  I wanted to honk, yell, and flash my lights at the slow poke that was making me late for my call.  Moment after agonizing moment passed as I followed him down street after street. Still this driver did not turn off. This continued right up to my neighbor’s driveway. You guessed it. The driver was my neighbor who wasn’t feeling well that evening. As a new neighbor, I did not recognize his car.

Had I given in to my impulses and honked, or gotten irritated and sped around him, my actions could have negatively affected my neighbor’s view of me.  As a man of influence in the community, who knows what the ripple effect could have been.

Time for a Checkup

Your reputation is a life-long accumulation of your actions and your interactions with the people around you. What does your reputation say about you today? What would your neighbors, co-workers or business acquaintances say about you if they were asked for a personal recommendation?

Have you burned bridges in your past? Most of us have at one time or another, but it is possible—and advisable—to make amends. Oftentimes, when you go out of your way to restore a previously damaged relationship, you make a stronger, more favorable impression than if you were to let “sleeping dogs lie.”

Take some time today to do a self-examination of your reputation. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know right away in which areas you need to improve. And again, if you have burned a few bridges in your past, perhaps it’s time to restore some of those damaged relationships. At least make the effort. You’ll feel better about yourself and who knows, you may be doing yourself a favor. It’s a small world!

If you have any “small world” stories, please share them in the comments section below this post.

Build a personal reputation that speaks for you when you are not around.

About the Author:
Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #54 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Taking a Good Look in the Mirror of Truth

When you meet new people and enter into new relationships, what do you notice?  Do you notice the clothes they wear in different settings? Do you notice the first email they send you?  Do you notice the amount of time it takes them to respond to your first email or phone call? Do you notice how they interact in the first meeting you’re in together? The fact is, you intuitively notice many things that, when combined together, form your opinion of them.

I learned early in my career that there is no other impression you can make on someone more important than the first impression. The school of hard knocks taught me that if you don’t make a positive first impression, you seldom get a chance to make a second impression, especially in sales.

As a Realtor there were countless little first impressions I focused on making that, when combined together, made me stand out from my competitors.

When I broke down all the actions I could take to make a positive first impression, my list was long.  Here are a few I always focused on:

• I arrived at my prospective client’s home five minutes early.
• I rang the doorbell at the exact time of the appointment.
• I dressed in a suit and tie, looking my best.
• I offered a friendly greeting along with a welcoming smile.
• I intentionally showed an interest in the unique things people had in their homes, including their pets and children.
• I focused on making equal eye contact with both the husband and wife.
• I left a professional marketing book, highlighting my services for them to review between appointments.
• I sent a hand-written, thank-you note after my initial appointment.
• In my phone conversations, I spoke with a smile and a friendly tone.

Every little thing I did during the entire sales process created a first impression on a prospective client. From the car I was driving to the way I handled myself in the follow up call, everything was a first impression. I am convinced that all of these little first impressions when added together played a valuable role in placing me in the top 1% of 1% of all Realtors.  It is the same philosophy that has allowed me to excel in my various endeavors.

I want to challenge you to start being aware of all the little first impressions you are making on people.  Remember, these tiny impressions when combined together form your personal brand, ultimately influencing every part of your life.

Let me encourage you to make a list of all the first impressions you are making on the people who are important in helping you achieve your goal.  To give you a headstart, here is a list of ten.

1.  The first email you send. The first email someone receives from you makes an impression.  How is it formatted?  Is the tone friendly?  Is the message clear?  Is it concise?  Has it been proofed?

2.  The first time you greet someone. Do you smile?  Do you make eye contact?  Are you friendly?  Do you repeat their name? Is your greeting warm and welcoming?  Do you initiate a handshake?

3.  The first time someone sees you. The way you look leaves a big imprint in someone’s mind. What clothes are you wearing?  How much make up do you have on?  What do your shoes look like?  Is your hair neat and are your nose, ears, and eyebrows trimmed?  It all matters.

4.  The first time someone sees your car. While the car itself will certainly be noticed, the cleanliness of the car—both inside and outside—will draw attention.  I have never met anyone who took pride in their work, but not their car.

5.  The first time you engage in a meaningful conversation with someone. Is it all about you?  Do you listen with interest?  Do you talk non-stop?  Do you ask questions showing an interest in the other person? Do you use inappropriate language?

6.  The first time you are faced with a challenge. How do you react? What is your process for addressing the situation?  How do you treat others involved? You can be assured everyone will be watching.

7.  The first time you interact with a waiter or waitress. The way people treat the waitpersons tells me a lot about how they treat people.

8.  The first time you are involved in a group conversation. How someone interacts with a group of people, from their listening skills to the eye contact they make with each group member is recognized.

9.  The first time you have a phone conversation with someone. How do you answer your phone?  What is your phone energy?  Do you listen without interrupting?

10.  The first time someone hears your personal cell phone greeting. Don’t think your voicemail greeting isn’t a big deal.  It’s your conscious choice of how you want to brand yourself to every caller.  Does your voicemail greeting properly reflect how you want to be perceived?

I’m sure you could list many more first impressions we make on people. Each of these little first impressions will play a defining role in everything from your relationships to your career.  To improve the first impression you make on people, let me encourage you to read the related posts below.

Start focusing on making your first impressions count, while at the same time becoming the person who is consistent with the brand you are creating for yourself.  As you strive to become the person you need to be to achieve your goals, you will begin to make many positive first impressions without even trying.  They will become part of your standard operating procedure.

Don’t ever allow yourself to think something doesn’t matter.  Everything matters.

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About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Sometimes Five Seconds Is All It Takes

When I talk about investing in your life, I’m referring to the fundamental, universal truth that says, “What you give, you get back.”

• When you show love, you get love.
• When you show respect, you get respect.
• When you smile at people, they smile back at you.
• When you show an interest in others, they will show an interest in you.
• When you encourage others, they will encourage you.

President Kennedy’s famous words from his inaugural address in 1961 are a fitting mantra for today’s lesson. “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”

I have lived a life that is proof of the fact that when you invest your life in helping others get the things they want, you will get what you want. The key is to stop focusing on your wants and desires and start focusing on what you can do for others.

Long-Term Returns are Worth the Wait

The kind of long-term return I’m talking about is the lifelong realization of success and happiness you receive based on how you treat others and how you manage your expectations. Simply put, you get out of your life and your relationships what you put into them.

Giving more than you get must become a way of living, and you must focus on the big picture of how you can improve the lives of others. You must not allow yourself to be discouraged when one person here and one person there doesn’t appreciate or notice your efforts and respond in the way you had hoped. Just like in the stock market, think of what you put into this effort as a long-term investment. It will pay off.

What We Can Learn from Warren Buffet

Buffet is one of the most successful financial investors ever and is currently noted as the third wealthiest person in the world. Riches aside, there are a few lessons from Buffet’s life and investment philosophy that can be applied to helping you reap a return on the investments you make in your own life.

• Become a Value Investor

One of the strategies Buffet is famous for is finding things to invest in that are valuable but not recognized as such by the majority of other buyers.

This is very much the philosophy of doing the little things that matter. Little things are the habits and choices you make that cause you to stand out from the crowd. Doing the little things that others simply don’t do or profess not to have the time for are what helps you develop the personal initiative and character it takes to become the person you need to be to achieve your goals and live the life you want.

• Become a Philanthropist

Buffet is known for his frugality as well as his generosity. Several years ago, he announced a plan to give away more than 75% of his fortune to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation upon his death.

While Buffet may be giving away his fortune when he dies, I encourage you not to wait that long to give generously of what you have. You have been endowed with special qualities, unique to you.  By sharing yourself, your time, your encouragement, your love with others, you are also making a generous donation—one that cannot be measured in dollars— to family, friends, and our society.

Giving or Getting

Do you currently give more than you expect to get? Or, are you preoccupied with waiting for people to do things to meet your needs or expectations?

It’s common for people to say, “When you start showing an interest in me, I’ll show an interest in you.” Or, “When you love me the way I need to be loved, I‘ll love you the way you need to be loved.” Employees in the workplace have said, “When you start paying me more, I’ll start doing more.”

When you concern yourself with how others should be serving your interests and desires, you set yourself up for disappointment.

Picture a Fuller Life

Are you more concerned with giving or getting?  One way to determine this is to take a quick self-assessment to help you make an objective observation.

Think about a significant relationship you have with someone—a specific person such as your spouse, close friend, parent or child.  Do you spend more time thinking about what this person should be doing for you rather than what you could be doing for them?

Think about your job or whatever you spend the majority of your day doing. What influences your decisions in this role? Is it how the outcome will benefit you, or how it will benefit your employer, community group, or other?

When you are intentional about giving more than you expect to get in your life and in your relationships, you will experience a more rewarding, enjoyable, and successful life.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Is Your Attitude Helping or Hurting You? (Part 2) [March 12, 2010]

Is Your Attitude Helping or Hurting You? (Part 3) [March 15, 2010]

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