How we compete is a reflection of our character and influences the way others perceive us in other areas of our lives.

Today’s lesson introduces ten traits of great competitors. Applicable in any competitive situation, adopting these traits will help you become a more respected rival.

Before you review the traits below, think of the last competition you were involved in. Maybe it was a heated game of family Monopoly, a high-stakes sales competition, or an intense tennis match. Whatever the circumstance, reflect on your behavior as you read through this list. What areas are most important to you? In which areas do you need to improve?

Ten Competitive Traits to Master

1. Congratulate your opponents when they win or experience success. This is the first rule of good sportsmanship and is equally applicable in the workplace.  Extending congratulations demonstrates that you are not a poor sport and lets others know that you are not harboring ill feelings that will linger after the competition has ended.

2. Be a gracious winner. Never rub a loss in your opponent’s face. No one cares to be around people who gloat over their wins.

3. Celebrate respectfully. It’s normal to feel good after a win of any kind and to want to celebrate, but be conscious of those around you who may not share in your jubilation. Excessive celebration will be a turnoff to most people.

4. Maintain a sense of decorum. Always be mindful not to say derogatory things about your competitor, their team, or their candidate. Remember (unless you are a prizefighter) when you speak poorly of your competitors it damages your credibility and reputation in the process.

5. Keep a consistent attitude whether you win or lose. Michael Jordan, one of the best basketball players of all time, was also one of the most respected competitors for the way he handled himself both on the court and off the court. Virtually all of the teams and players he competed against over the course of his basketball career speak equally about his gifted abilities and his humble demeanor.

6. Use restraint. Take care not to be overly competitive in individual or group activities. If you’re on a team, play your part or your position; don’t try to cover for anyone else. If it’s an individual contest, do your best, but also use your opponent’s level of ability as a guide for how intense your participation should be.

7. Keep a lid on your frustration. If you must rely on others to win a competition and find yourself frustrated, try not to let it show. This only discourages your teammates and makes you appear self-righteous. Instead be the voice of encouragement.

8. Play fair. You lose all credibility as a worthy competitor when you cheat. Even worse, you will lose people’s respect.

9. Give the advantage to your opponent. When a play or other measure of performance is questionable, give your opponent the benefit of the doubt.  Rarely will this cost you the competition, and it will always reflect well on your character.  After all, how do you feel about people who give you the benefit of doubt?

10. Avoid complaining.  No matter how you disguise it, when you complain about any aspect of a competition, it is perceived as whining, and nobody enjoys being around a whiner.

If you are as much a competitor as I am, some of these points will require self-control and some serious self-talk.  I must admit that most of these lessons I learned the hard way.

The next time you find yourself in the middle of a competition, remember it’s how you compete that will leave a lasting impression, not whether you win or lose.

Great competitors earn respect, both in the way they compete and in how they handle themselves after their victories and defeats.

Which of the above traits do you think most people struggle with? What are the things others do that bother you?  Please post your thoughts in the comment section below this post.

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About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #40 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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When we get discouraged our attitude and emotions turn negative. When this happens our productivity takes a nosedive, we tend to retreat and withdraw from others, and the risk of giving up on whatever we’re working toward runs very high.

Since it can have such a negative impact on every area of our lives, including our health, learning to deal with disappointments in life and the temporary discouragement that may result is an important part of managing our lives.

James Whitcomb Riley said, “The most essential factor is persistence—the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come.”

How to Deal With Discouragement

Fortunately for me, most of the time when I find myself feeling down, it’s because I am tired, had a rough day or someone said something that bothered me.  If I just get a good night’s rest, I usually wake up with renewed energy.

Sometimes, however, I need more than just a night of rest. I need to explore the root cause of my discouragement so that I can better understand it and respond accordingly.

Below is the five-step process I go through when I’m discouraged and need to figure out why. (As you can tell by reading my posts, I am a thinker and a processer.)

1.  Ask: Why am I discouraged? If it is not obvious, take a few minutes to sit down and make a list of potential reasons why you’re feeling defeated. Making this list is critical because you can’t take control of something you don’t understand.

2.  As you look at each reason, ask: Why does this make me feel discouraged? Once you know the source of your discouragement, you should explore deeper.

• Is it because of unmet expectations that I feel this way? If so, make sure your expectations are realistic and that you are not setting yourself up for failure.
• Is it because I have let myself down?  If so, what specifically have you done?

3.  Look at the bigger picture. Do your best to gain perspective not just on the issue that is the source of discouragement, but on your relationship to it as well. For example:

• Am I feeling this way because I am burned out? Do I need a break?
• What part of this situation is my fault? What can I do differently? What can I learn?
• Am I making progress, but just slower than I had hoped? What lessons have I learned? Am I a better person because of this experience?
• Who can I talk to for some trusted insight and perspective on this matter? This is always a big help to me because much of my discouragement stems from unfulfilled expectations. Often a fresh perspective is all I need.

4.  Ask: What’s my plan? As I reflect on all the times I have been discouraged, they have been times when I needed to grow. It may be that I needed to learn to set better expectations, that I needed to learn to be more careful in whom I place my trust, or that I needed to have a different perspective. In each case, I was forced to grow as a person.

Next to each item on your list write down your plan to address the issue that is bothering you and quickly move on. Don’t accept a long-term sentence of discouragement. It is a choice. Keep moving forward. Nothing puts an end to discouragement like productive mental and physical activity.

5.  Count your blessings. Make a list of all the things for which you are grateful. Often times, we focus on the one thing that’s wrong and overlook the 99 things that are going well. When you make a conscious effort to write down what’s good and going well in your life, it helps you to put things into perspective.

A Time for Action

What will you do the next time you find yourself getting discouraged?

Vincent van Gogh, famous Dutch painter, said, “In spite of everything I shall rise again: I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing.”

The secret to overcoming discouragement is to look at it as a temporary obstacle and learn how to process it.  Once you start executing your plan, the discouragement you feel will leave as quickly as it appeared.  Hold on to your vision and remember that ALL great successes came after periods of discouragement and failure. Don’t give up. The dark cloud of discouragement will disappear. You will smile again and experience a productive, fruitful life.

By immediately dealing with discouragement when it strikes, not only will your life be better, but so will your family, friends and co-workers who are impacted by your attitude.

What do you do when you are feeling discouraged? If you have a tip or suggestion, please share it in the comments section below.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #38 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Consistency Wins the Race

I’m referring to risks where there is a lack of complete certainty and where several possible outcomes could exist—at least one of which is undesirable. For example:

• Leaving a secure position with an established company to accept a more lucrative job with a new start-up. Possible outcome: What if the business fails?

• Entering into a partnership with a new business associate. Possible outcome: What if the person turns out to have different values than you that cannot be reconciled?

• Investing a large sum of money in a new investment opportunity. Possible outcome: What if it goes bad and you lose it all.

Understanding the Role of Risk in Life

Most of society is divided largely into three groups of people:

1.  Those who are afraid to take risks, live a very conservative life, and retire not much better off than when they began.

2.  Those who take bad risks and suffer the consequences.

Sadly, the evidence of bad risks and the decisions that follow are all too common. I have had friends who were millionaires, and lost it all as a result of taking unnecessary risks. I also had a friend lose his life in a deep-water scuba diving accident. In his quest for the thrill, he risked a great deal and left behind a widow and two teenage daughters.

3.  Those who plan well, take calculated risks, and win.

If you desire to live a successful and fulfilling life and retire with enough money to enjoy your retirement years, you must take calculated risks. This includes risks in your relationships, risks in your career, and risks in your investments.

While taking smart calculated risks is vital to reaching your goals in life, remember that taking bad risks and losing can set you back, sometimes significantly. It may help, however, to remember that taking smart risks is as simple as making wise decisions.

A Framework for Good Decision-making

I’ve learned a lot in my life from observing others and through my personal experiences—both good and bad. Therefore, when I consider taking a risk in any area of my life, here are the questions I ask myself:

1.  What are the risks? Be honest. Don’t let your emotions prevent you from carefully considering all possible risks. This is where the landmines exist.

2. What are the odds of one of the risks coming true? Be truthful. Use real data whenever you can by doing research and talking to others.

3.  What are the rewards? Be realistic. Can you really quit your day job and devote ten hours a week to something and make $100,000 a year? (Probably not.)

4.  What are the odds of those rewards? Be sensible. Find out how many others have done something similar and how they have fared.

5.  What other options do I have? Be creative. Don’t limit yourself. Consider all possibilities.

6.  Do I need to make this decision today? Probably not. Take the time you need to do your research and explore your options.

After you finish answering these six questions, remove the emotions from your decision and ask what your gut is telling you. Also, never forget about the wild card risk; you don’t know what you don’t know!

Risk-taking Tips

• Start small. You don’t need to hit a grand slam your first time at bat. Aim for singles and only advance to the next base when you feel like the odds are in your favor. You can live an amazing life, travel the world, and retire financially secure if you just keep hitting singles.

• Don’t get greedy. This is a potential major problem in any area, but especially in the financial realm.  Some people never start building their net worth because all they ever engage in are risky ventures that don’t work.  Others save money for years, get tired of working, roll the dice with their savings, and hope to strike it big, only to lose it all.

• Be careful with partnerships. One of the ways I reduce risks in my life is by not giving up control. I seldom see a partnership work unless it begins with a well-established and familiar relationship.

The next time you find yourself making a decision that involves risk, I urge you to review this lesson. Print it out or save the podcast where you’ll remember it.

If you take your time and make good decisions using the advice in this lesson combined with your own life experiences, your odds of making good decisions the next time you are faced with a risk will be dramatically improved.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #42 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Pssst. Can you keep a secret?

In addition to ensuring that you don’t participate in matters that don’t concern you, it’s even more important to keep any confidence that you have been entrusted with by someone else. You can’t expect to advance personally or professionally if you betray the trust someone has placed in you.

Today’s lesson may prick your conscience; however, my hope is that you will see the immense value in learning the importance of keeping things confidential that should be private and secret.

The Link Between Trust and Confidentiality

When you earn the reputation of someone who can be relied on, you command the respect and trust of people around you and build deeper friendships. In business, trustworthy people are more likely to sell more products, built a larger customer base, receive more raises, and enjoy earlier promotions.

One of the most common, telltale signs of someone who cannot be trusted with confidential information is the person who is says, “So-and-so told me this in confidence, but I know you won’t say anything.”

While you may feel special that this person trusts you, what about the person whose information they promised not to divulge? Personally, I would think twice about sharing my own sensitive information with this person. In short, I would not trust someone who was telling me other people’s secrets.

Respecting and Keeping Confidences

Are you someone who can be trusted with private and confidential information?  To gauge your trustworthiness in this area, ask yourself how likely you would be to share any of the following:

1.  You are on a business trip and having some drinks after hours. A colleague overindulges and ends up passing out in the lobby after a series of pretty funny antics. Do you share this story back at the office?

2.  A partner decides to go his own way and leaves you hanging. You’ve been through a lot together and have plenty of information that could negatively influence his reputation. Do you leak this information?

3.  You and your spouse had a real blowout. Do you vent to your friends?

These situations are examples of implied confidentiality. In each case, no one is explicitly asked not to say anything, but clearly the right thing to do is to keep these things in confidence. There’s quite a bit at stake for the person at the center of each situation. Careers, reputations, and relationships could be irreparably damaged.

Here are a few tips when it comes to keeping confidences:

• Never share information that you have been asked to keep confidential.

• Use your judgment when it comes to matters of implied confidentiality.

• Keep things confidential that were intended to be confidential even if a relationship breaks down.

• Do not vent your private marital or relationship issues with your friends. This will cause them to view your spouse or significant other differently, probably negatively.

• When someone says, “I was asked to keep this in confidence, but I can share it with you,” let them know that you’d rather not be involved.

The next time you consider sharing information, be sure to ask yourself if there is a chance that the person who shared the information with you would like it kept confidential. If that is the case, don’t share it.

As in most matters, there are exceptions to keeping confidences, such as when someone’s health or well-being is at risk. Don’t take the oath of secrecy so far that you let someone continue to endanger themselves or someone else.

Are you willing to make a commitment to never share anything that should be kept confidential? It’s not an easy commitment, but remember that your decision to share or not to share will affect how others view you.

When you keep things confidential that should be confidential, you will gain the reputation as a person who can be trusted, and you will grow strong in character and value.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #42 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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My lesson today is on measurements; however, it’s about a different kind of measurement. It’s about the importance of measuring your performance.

Dr. H. James Harrington has been involved in quality and performance improvement projects since the 1950s. He summarizes well what this lesson is all about.  “Measurement is the first step that leads to control and eventually to improvement. If you can’t measure something, you can’t understand it. If you can’t understand it, you can’t control it. If you can’t control it, you can’t improve it.”

Who Measures?

It’s not a stretch to say that any team, organization, or person who wishes to perform better or accomplish more has meaningful points of measurement.

To clarify my point, consider if:

• Baseball players never knew their batting average
• Advertisers did not measure the number of people who responded to an ad
• Golfers did not keep track of their scores
• Online shopping sites did not track the conversion rate of website visitors to customers
• Students never knew the results of their tests
• Customer service centers did not measure how long customers were on hold
• Companies did not measure their sales

If they didn’t measure their performance, how would they know if they improved?

Why Measure?

Quite simply, what gets measured gets done. Think about it. The very nature of knowing that something is being monitored causes us to work harder and perform better. There’s actually proof of this—it’s called the Hawthorne Effect.

Coined in 1955 by Henry Landsberger, the Hawthorne Effect describes a form of reactivity on the part of people whereby they improve an aspect of behavior being measured simply in response to the fact that the measurement is taking place! Amazing, isn’t it!

When you measure your own performance, positive things happen:

• You are able to set goals and evaluate your progress.
• You always know exactly where you stand.
• You can identify key aspects you want to refine.
• You are able to see the results of your refinements.
• You can quickly and accurately trouble shoot your problems

I can tell you firsthand how absolutely critical it was to my success that I measured my results. Throughout my sales career, I measured things such as the number of calls I made, the number of calls that were answered, the number of appointments I set, the number of appointments that resulted in new clients, as well as the size of each sale. I measured everything I did in the entire sales process.

Doing so not only showed me how I was doing, it brought attention to the key elements of my performance and motivated me to strive harder to improve in each area.

Measuring and Improving

In order to develop or improve any area of your life, you need to do three things:

1.  You need to know your starting point. This is often referred to as your benchmark or baseline—the point from which all progress is measured.  If you wanted to lose weight, this would include your current weight and all your key body measurements.

2.  You need a goal. In the words of noted psychologist Arnold Glasgow, “In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless you know where the goalposts are.” Without a clear idea of where you are headed and what you wish to accomplish, how will you know if you ever get there?

3.  You need to determine how you are going to measure your progress. If you wanted to reduce your spending and save money, it would be wise to carry a small notepad and write down everything thing you buy and the price you paid.

Develop an Action Plan

Whether in business, sports, school, or any area of life, you can’t improve what you don’t measure. When you track and measure your results each month, you will have new benchmarks that you can strive to improve upon the next month. If you focus on improving your results month after month, you will begin to see amazing changes take place in your performance and results.

Ready to get started?

1.  Identify the parts of your life that you want to improve.  Don’t blow off this simple assignment. This is a critical component to your success. Make a list of the things you want to improve.

2.  Document your starting point. If you want to increase your net worth, then subtract your liabilities from your assets and determine your starting point.

3.  Set your goals.  If you want to double your sales over the next 12 months, right down your target.

4.  Determine the key factors that will influence your success.  What are the activities that if done correctly will help you achieve your goals?  These are the things you will measure.

5.  Create a means of measuring your actions and your results. What will you use to document these results?

Remember: You can’t improve what you don’t measure.

As you measure your actions and results, continue to look for ways to make refinements.  This is all part of the process of striving for excellence to be the best at what you do!

When you begin to measure what you do and how well you do it, you will begin to see the refinements you can make.  As you strive to make small improvements day after day and week after week, nothing can stop you from achieving your goals.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #42 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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