Rapport is the process of building an amicable relationship—an emotional bond—between people based on trust, understanding, and a sharing of each other’s interests and concerns. It’s an attraction built on mutual liking, empathy, and camaraderie.

Early in my career, I recognized that rapport is one of the most important characteristics of human interaction. I realized that if I were going to be a successful Realtor, I would need to learn how to quickly build rapport with people. I studied; I researched; and I finally compiled a list of “little things” that would help me to quickly build rapport. (See The 12 Fastest Ways to Build Rapport.)

Being able to build instant rapport with people offers numerous benefits. If we know how to quickly connect with people, we can use this knowledge in job interviews, business meetings, networking events, attracting a partner, and many other situations where the speed in which we build rapport matters…read more

We are living in an era of constant change. Because businesses are becoming less dictatorial and more social, the understanding and value of soft skills to an organization are growing daily.

In Top 10 Soft Skills to Master, I touched on a couple reasons why soft skills are important, but those were just the tip of the iceberg. The more I look at the distinguishing traits of people who are advancing their careers, the more convinced I am that soft skills are more important today than ever before.

Soft Skills versus Hard Skills

“Soft skills” is a term relating to a collection of personal, positive attributes and competencies that enhance your relationships, job performance, and value to the market…. read more

Reflect on the experience of meeting someone for the first time and feeling an immediate connection. What was it about this person that you found attractive?

Think of a salesperson you really liked. Did this person try to impress you or was he or she a sincere, quality person who took the time to get to know you and understand your needs?

My guess is that in both situations, the person you connected with was being genuine or authentic…read more

From a very young age, all of us were taught how to accept a gift: say thank you, say something nice about the gift and, above all, don’t say you don’t like it (even if you don’t) because that will hurt the feelings of the giver.

This advice is as good today as it was when you were five years old. It still applies whenever you receive a gift—and that includes the gift of a compliment.

Graciously accepting a compliment in any setting is not only good manners, it’s a sign of someone who is confident and self-assured. It’s also a way to build rapport by acknowledging the compliment paid.

Today’s lesson on accepting compliments will help you see that this little thing can be a huge boost to your reputation….read more

We have all heard of the value of making a positive impression when meeting someone for the first time. It only takes a few seconds for someone to evaluate you. This opinion is usually based on your demeanor, mannerisms, body language, speech, and appearance, but it’s even more than that.

When you meet new people and enter into new relationships, what do you notice? Do you notice the clothes they wear in different settings? Do you notice the first email they send you? Do you notice the amount of time it takes them to respond to your first email or phone call? Do you notice how they interact in the first meeting you’re in together? The fact is, you intuitively notice many things that, when combined together, form your opinion of them…read more

Have you ever talked to a person on the phone or met with someone for the first time who felt uneasy for whatever reasons?  How could you tell?  Were they reserved, not quite sure what to say and feeling a little awkward?  If so, what did you do?  Where you intentional about making them feel more comfortable?

In the course of our normal every day lives we are going to meet people for the first time who may feel a bite uncomfortable.  After all, they are meeting us for the first time and aren’t quite sure what to expect…read more

An interesting experience last week reminded me that sometimes it only takes five seconds to make an impact.

I had a public speaking engagement and during the two-day event I exchanged business cards with numerous people.  Because frankly I am proud of my new Little Things Matter business cards I noticed people’s reactions when I gave them one.  Some people immediately put it in their pocket or wallet without even looking at it while others studied it and in some cases either asked a question or said something complimentary about my card.

Here is what I found most interesting….read more

Everyday we meet with groups of people socially and professionally. How we interact plays a large role in the impressions we create. Are we taken seriously or do people discount what we say? Does people’s respect for us grow or would they prefer not to be around us any more? Once again, you are in control.

Following these tips will give you a leg up in your next group meeting or social event.

1.  Dress consistently with how you want to be viewed-—You may think that dressing for success is an overused phrase or your attire really doesn’t matter. But IT DOES. Remember you are marketing a product and that product is YOU…read more

There are literally hundreds if not thousands of little things we can do to raise the bar in our professional and personal lives. So many of these things are easy to do and can be accomplished in less than 10 seconds. They just require an intentional effort.

What is CRITICAL to understand is that your ultimate success, fulfillment and happiness will come from doing the little things that matter.

As entrepreneur and best selling author Harvey Mackay said, “Little things don’t mean a lot. They mean everything.”

Here is a short list of 36 things you can do in less than 10 seconds that will make you a better person, enhance your self-image and improve the quality of your life…read more

Kindra Hall, a fellow blogger and beautiful writer, recently shared a story about her first visit to the National Speakers Association. Every day for three years she drove by their offices thinking about how to present herself. What would she say? How would she say it? Finally building up the courage to go inside, she decided to just ask questions.

Introduced to a representative from the association, she indicated she wanted to be “a sponge” and learn as much as she could about improving her speaking ability.

The lady responded and said, “So many people come into an organization like this with the goal to impress. They memorize their resume and talk about why they are unlike anything anyone has seen. Honestly, those folks never make it very far. While it is good to be confident, the true measure of this experience is not how impressive you are coming in – it’s how much you can learn while you are here. If your goal is to soak up what you can from others to become better, that is impressive. And the members of this association will help in whatever way they can to make sure you get the information you seek.”…read more

Every email we send someone makes an impression. This is no different than watching a commercial. Every advertisement you watch makes an impression on you and impacts your view of that advertiser.

The same is true with email. Every impression we make on others is how we are branding ourselves in their minds. It’s our choice what impression we make.

In Part One, I shared with you 16 of my top email tips and encouraged you to evaluate your email communication for the last 24 hours. How did you do?

Here are 17 more for you to chew on.

17. Use the recipient’s time zone—When you are scheduling an appointment or a phone call, avoid confusion by using their time zone. This will keep them from trying to convert the time to their time zone and reduce potential misunderstandings…read more

I’ve probably sent and received more than 500,000 emails over the last 10+ years. And combined with my focus on the little things that matter, I have formed some strong views on the subject. In this two-part lesson you will learn 33 tips that will improve your email communication.

As you review the list, you may feel these are picky little details that don’t really matter. Don’t allow yourself to think this way. Everything matters! Today’s post will cover the first 16 and tomorrow’s will outline the remaining 17.

1. Take pride In your emails—As I pointed out in What’s Your Email Brand?

every email you send makes an impression and plays a small role in defining your brand. If email is your primary form of communication, what you say and how you say it will play a significant role in how you are viewed.

..read more

This is a continuation of “My Top Ten Phone Tips.” Part 1 can be found here. As I pointed out yesterday, every time we are on the phone with someone we are making an impression that impacts how we viewed. Chelsea Greenwood—owner of a 1.4 billion-dollar marketing firm—said, “You are your own brand whether you like it or not. And every experience has a lasting impression.”

Here are five more tips.

6. Speak With a Confident Tone—Whether you realize it or not, you are presenting your personal brand every time you have a conversation with someone. If you want to brand yourself as a self-assured professional, then you need to sound confident but not so confident that you sound arrogant…read more

How many of you make judgments about people based on how they sound on the telephone? Because people cannot see us over the phone they will form these opinions based on not only what we say but also on “how” we say it.

If you stop to think about how much business is transacted over the phone in any given day, it’s wise to be conscious of your telephone speaking voice, the words you use and how you conduct yourself during a call. Today’s lesson is the first of a two part series to help you make a positive impression on the phone…read more

Being a good listener is one of the most important skills you can master if you want to advance your career and build meaningful relationships. When you REALLY listen, you demonstrate your interest in what is being said and you show your respect for the individual saying it. Listening is a magnetic force that draws people to us.

Have you ever talked to someone and noticed he or she wasn’t really listening to you? How did it make you feel? Unimportant? Disrespected? Insulted? Remember those feelings and work diligently to ensure that people never feel the same way when they talk to you.

In this post I will highlight 10 things I have learned throughout my career in addition to some lessons my dad taught me. My dad is the best listener I know. Everyone who meets him forms an instant bond with him and I am convinced that the number one reason for this immediate connection is his genuine and sincere interest in others. It all starts with him being a good listener…..read more

In yesterdays post Phone Greetings That Make a Positive Impression I shared with you some simple tips about how to make a positive impression when you greet people over the phone. Today’s lesson will focus on the strategies for making a good impression when you meet and greet people in person.

1. When you greet people in person for the first time—To make a positive first impression when meeting new people, include the following as part of your greeting: a warm smile, an introduction that includes your first and last name, a welcoming comment, direct eye contact and a firm handshake, if appropriate. I also recommend repeating the person’s name. For instance, “It’s very nice to meet you Bob.”….read more

I just finished reading a great book written by a long time friend, Bob Burg, along with co-author John David Mann. The title is Go Givers Sell More and it hits the bookstore shelves today. While the book is primarily designed for those in the sales industry, its core lesson is universal. To succeed in the business world, you must be someone who brings value to the lives of others, before expecting anything in return.

This concept embodies a fundamental shift in the mentality of sales people who market products and services as well as our approach to the marketing of our personal services.

I am ALWAYS turned off when people try to pitch me on things without first trying to build a relationship with me or to learn if what they are marketing is something I desire……read more

Have you ever met someone for the first time who hardly looked you in your eyes, said the standard nice to meet you greeting without any authenticity behind their words and couldn’t remember your name five seconds later? What impression did this person make on you? Would it have required any more time or effort to make eye contact, offer a genuine smile and give a friendly greeting such as “it’s very nice to meet you Bob?” The answer is obviously no but the first impressions created by the two greetings would be different as night and day.

In Dale Carnegie’s timeless book How to Win Friends and Influence People he wrote, “If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember my name, you pay me a subtle compliment; you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance.”

Techniques and Tips

When you greet people, regardless if it’s the first or the tenth time, make it a point of saying their names in your initial conversation. For example, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Sharon,” or “Jim, it’s great to see you again.” And then when the conversation concludes, use their name again. “Jim, I really enjoyed our time together,” or “Sharon, it was a real pleasure getting to know you.” Remembering someone’s name is a difficult skill to master but if you make it part of your daily routine, you will stand out from the crowd in the personal and business relationships…. read more

Have you ever noticed how you are drawn to people with whom you share things in common? This is called the law of attraction and means that you will inevitably be attracted to people into your life that are similar to you. We don’t need to look far beyond our close friends to understand that we are drawn to people with similar interests. So, how can you use this natural tendency to your advantage in all of your relationships?

Two key methods come to mind:

• Become aware of activities, interests and relationships you may have in common with people and pay particular attention during conversations. You may both have children, you may both work in the same part of town, you may both have a son who plays soccer, or you may both like Thai food.

Throughout my career I have made it a point of asking people questions with the goal of identifying things we have in common. Once I identify something we have in common, I transition the conversation to that subject. When I do, I almost immediately feel them connecting with me…read more

Have you noticed that tardiness is on the rise? People are chronically late for work; for their child’s teacher conference or athletic contest; or even for parties and celebrations. As the old saying goes, “they will even be late for their own funeral.” Yet, punctuality is one of the key ways that we can positively brand ourselves.

Today we will explore why it is so important to be on time for all of your scheduled events. Whatever your appointment may be—a phone call, a business meeting, or a dinner engagement—you should always strive to be on time….read more