How we compete is a reflection of our character and influences the way others perceive us in other areas of our lives.

Today’s lesson introduces ten traits of great competitors. Applicable in any competitive situation, adopting these traits will help you become a more respected rival.

Before you review the traits below, think of the last competition you were involved in. Maybe it was a heated game of family Monopoly, a high-stakes sales competition, or an intense tennis match. Whatever the circumstance, reflect on your behavior as you read through this list. What areas are most important to you? In which areas do you need to improve?

Ten Competitive Traits to Master

1. Congratulate your opponents when they win or experience success. This is the first rule of good sportsmanship and is equally applicable in the workplace.  Extending congratulations demonstrates that you are not a poor sport and lets others know that you are not harboring ill feelings that will linger after the competition has ended.

2. Be a gracious winner. Never rub a loss in your opponent’s face. No one cares to be around people who gloat over their wins.

3. Celebrate respectfully. It’s normal to feel good after a win of any kind and to want to celebrate, but be conscious of those around you who may not share in your jubilation. Excessive celebration will be a turnoff to most people.

4. Maintain a sense of decorum. Always be mindful not to say derogatory things about your competitor, their team, or their candidate. Remember (unless you are a prizefighter) when you speak poorly of your competitors it damages your credibility and reputation in the process.

5. Keep a consistent attitude whether you win or lose. Michael Jordan, one of the best basketball players of all time, was also one of the most respected competitors for the way he handled himself both on the court and off the court. Virtually all of the teams and players he competed against over the course of his basketball career speak equally about his gifted abilities and his humble demeanor.

6. Use restraint. Take care not to be overly competitive in individual or group activities. If you’re on a team, play your part or your position; don’t try to cover for anyone else. If it’s an individual contest, do your best, but also use your opponent’s level of ability as a guide for how intense your participation should be.

7. Keep a lid on your frustration. If you must rely on others to win a competition and find yourself frustrated, try not to let it show. This only discourages your teammates and makes you appear self-righteous. Instead be the voice of encouragement.

8. Play fair. You lose all credibility as a worthy competitor when you cheat. Even worse, you will lose people’s respect.

9. Give the advantage to your opponent. When a play or other measure of performance is questionable, give your opponent the benefit of the doubt.  Rarely will this cost you the competition, and it will always reflect well on your character.  After all, how do you feel about people who give you the benefit of doubt?

10. Avoid complaining.  No matter how you disguise it, when you complain about any aspect of a competition, it is perceived as whining, and nobody enjoys being around a whiner.

If you are as much a competitor as I am, some of these points will require self-control and some serious self-talk.  I must admit that most of these lessons I learned the hard way.

The next time you find yourself in the middle of a competition, remember it’s how you compete that will leave a lasting impression, not whether you win or lose.

Great competitors earn respect, both in the way they compete and in how they handle themselves after their victories and defeats.

Which of the above traits do you think most people struggle with? What are the things others do that bother you?  Please post your thoughts in the comment section below this post.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #40 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Your Words Are a Mirror

What we say about others reflects on our own character. Specifically, when we speak unfavorably of others, it not only hurts the person our words are aimed at, but it also damages our credibility and reputation in the process.

Richard Carlson put it this way: “ When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.”

When we speak negatively about someone else, others often perceive it as a ploy for our own personal gain.

When our words persuade others to our point of view as to the faults and shortcomings of someone who is not present, we are taking unfair advantage of that person. This holds true whether we’re talking about an individual, a group, or a business.

The Critical Cashier

For example, last week, I was in my local supermarket picking up a bag of ice. I took a shortcut through one of the empty lanes to get to the service desk since I was only purchasing one item.

A cashier happened to be in that lane and said he could help me. I told him I didn’t realize his lane was open because he was standing off to the side. He proceeded to tell me about the “stupid policies” of the store. He ranted about various things during my purchase and spoke nothing but ill of his employer.

All the time he was unloading his personal dissatisfaction, I was questioning his motives and forming my impression of him—and it wasn’t a good one!  I immediately summed him up as an inconsiderate employee who failed to see himself as a store representative with an obligation to act and speak accordingly.

Positivity Is Good for Your Reputation

It is also important to keep in mind that where your attention goes, so goes you’re your emotional energy. Focus on positive things and your life will be positive; focus on negative things and your life will be negative. When you say destructive things about others, your emotional energy is also negatively affected.

On the other hand, when you brand yourself as someone who refrains from speaking disapprovingly of others, not only will people’s respect for you grow, but you will also be happier. When you hold back saying something negative about someone else—especially when given the opportunity—you exemplify self-control and concern for others.

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” Dale Carnegie

Do not, however, confuse speaking of someone in a derogatory way with participating in a formal critique, such as job performance reviews or when you are asked to point out deficiencies for the purpose of helping someone improve in certain areas. In these instances, use tact and diplomacy to focus on performance issues and always avoid personal attacks.

Tips for Avoiding Negative Conversations

• Refuse to engage in negative conversations about others.

• Refuse to be part of groups who speak poorly of others. Remember that if you are surrounded by people who thrive on cutting others down, it may be time for you to reconsider with whom you spend your time.

• Avoid making negative or unflattering comments about other people by remembering that your comments influence people’s views of you.

Sometimes figuratively (and sometimes literally) I bite my tongue when I am on the verge of saying something negative. I do so knowing that quelling the urge to speak my mind on impulse helps me show consideration for others, uphold my values, and maintain my reputation.

You can build a reputation that commands respect by refusing to speak negatively of others in all circumstances—regardless of who is or isn’t present.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #42 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Is Your Word Really Your Bond?

Have you ever had an argument with someone important to you?  Did you win or lose?  Do you love the feeling when the opposing argument gets shut down, and your opponent conforms to your opinion? Is that your ultimate goal?  What about how your opponent feels?  Do you care?

I’m like many teenagers. Because I have strong (and often contrary) opinions, I’ve had my share of arguments; I’ve won some and lost some.

I used to not hesitate to argue. I would jump into disagreements like they were a cold pool on a summer day. I was blind to the fact that nothing good was coming from these arguments. I wasn’t changing their views. In fact, it normally made my opponents feel stronger about their own opinions, and it would cause annoyance and anger. So I began to ask myself: How can I avoid tension and successfully get my point across?

Five Solutions

Here are four things I now think about when I find myself about to enter a disagreement that could end up in a heated argument.

1.   Is it Important to Me?

Before saying anything to the other person, ask yourself: Is it worth it? What will be the benefit if I win? What will be the downside if I lose?

When I would enter an argument too quickly, I would end up not having a strong opinion or supportive facts or being unwilling to listen to my opponent, and it would start unnecessary conflict.

In one of my favorite books, How to Win Friends and Influence People, (I have to admit that my dad paid me to read it.) Dale Carnegie said: “The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.” This is true, but often ignored because it takes more character to be silent than to speak one’s mind.

2.   Have a Discussion, Not an Argument

Arguments are commonly controlled by emotion, while discussions are more about understanding. It’s important not to enter a disagreement when emotionally compromised. When controlled by your emotions, you are more likely to say hurtful things, yell, and ultimately prevent the discussion from going anywhere. If you feel you are on the verge of an outburst, take a breather, and only return when you feel you are ready to approach the situation rationally.

3.   Ask Questions

Too many times I entered an argument knowing that I’m right and they’re wrong. Because why would I argue if I didn’t feel it worth fighting for? But then I realized, why would they think any different? Sometimes it is even better to ask questions rather than ignore the problem because you may begin to judge them without fully understanding their view. Simply learning why the person thinks a certain way can diminish the need for an argument all together. As my dad has taught me, there is always two sides to every story.

4.   Understand That No One Is You

No one is ever going to think the same as you. We are all very different—different personalities, different past experiences, and different present situations. Learning the way a person thinks is sometimes the only way of truly understanding their position.

Mend Old Wounds

Have you been in an argument that had no closure to it—that was just left as an open wound? It’s so important to do everything you can to find that closure. Hard feelings and grudges are often the result of unsettled conflict. Whenever my brother and I would get into an argument my parents would put us in a room and we couldn’t come out until we had worked it out. We hated it, but it worked. Finish what you started. It can be a hard thing to do, to go back to that, but re-approaching the situation with the right attitude will help it go smoother.

My Challenge

I want to encourage you to think about these four points when you find yourself on the verge of a disagreement.

What have you learned from working through difficult situations and what have you found works best in avoiding arguments?  Please share your thoughts below this post.

Simply thinking before you argue can result in less stress and more understanding, while carelessly jumping into an argument can result in regretful actions and damaged relationships.

About the Author: Hannah Smith is the daughter of Todd Smith, founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #38 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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The Ticking Time Bomb

Today, I’m going on record as saying that neither of these reasons are valid enough to outweigh the fact that no one likes being around people who are chronic complainers.

Whining Damages Reputations

Whining is a childish trait and can be a very difficult habit to break once it has become a part of a person’s communication style. Nevertheless, breaking the habit of complaining is essential if we wish to be viewed as people whose words carry weight and whose opinions matter.

Some forms of complaints are obvious, but other forms are often disguised as commentary or critique. They may appear more subtle but are just as damaging to your reputation.

Complaint Etiquette

When you do have a legitimate complaint to communicate, you can do so in a productive manner by following these guidelines.

1. Have a purpose. Having an objective for complaining means that you wish to accomplish something that is both reasonable and specific.

Complaints without purpose include things like:

• The way your favorite NFL team played on Sunday
• The weather
• The traffic on the Interstate

These things may bother you to a degree, but you can’t do anything about any of them, so why spend your time (and someone else’s) complaining about them?

2.   Offer a proposed solution. Whenever you complain, be prepared to offer a reasonable solution.

3.   Be understanding. People are not perfect and most employees are doing the best they can. It’s also important to recognize that what may be logical to you, may not be logical to someone else.

Make a point to accept and value the differences in people.  Recognize that we all come from different backgrounds and have different life experiences.  Specifically, have a little more patience; be a little more forgiving of others.

If you find yourself being overly critical of others or the world at large (which leads to the habit of complaining), let me encourage you to start being more aware of this and work on improving your attitude in this area.

4.   Treat others with respect and kindness. If you must complain in such circumstances such as being served cold food in a restaurant, discovering a billing error, or challenging a warranty discrepancy, describe your situation in a way that shows respect to the individual listening to your complaint.

Often times, it’s not their fault. And even if it is, there is no reason to speak to them like they are stupid or incompetent. Doing that will only make matters worse and reflect poorly on you.

How to Break the Destructive Habit

The good news is that breaking the habit of complaining is something we can all do on our own. Here are a few tips to get you started.

• For the next 24 hours, make an effort to catch yourself each time you complain—at home, at work, and out in the community. Being aware of your tone and how much you verbalize your dissatisfaction with other people or things is the first step toward ridding yourself of this bad habit.

• Listen to the people around you, especially out in public. Notice how they speak to servers, customer service representatives, and other workers. What does this tell you about them? What does the way you speak to people in public say about you?

• The next time you find it necessary to lodge a legitimate complaint, make sure it meets the criteria discussed above—purposeful, solution-oriented, understanding, kind, and whine-free.

Complaining is harmful to your reputation. If you must complain, make sure your words are constructive and that you handle yourself in a way that reflects positively on your character.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #38 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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The Ticking Time Bomb

Have you ever heard an athlete complain, “I don’t get the respect I deserve”?  This person is unaware that respect is not a gift; it is something you must earn. We might admire him for his skill, or envy his million-dollar salary, but we respect the athlete for the attitude he or she exhibits on the field or court, during an interview, or in daily life.

What is that attitude that quickly wins respect? Humility—a modest view of one’s own importance!  An attitude of humility is one of the most significant predictors of someone who is respected.

Arrogance Is the Opposite of Humility

In order to adopt the habits and behavior patterns of humility, it’s important to recognize its evil nemesis—arrogance.  Very few things damage one’s reputation quicker than arrogance. Here are some common phrases people use that reveal a prideful, arrogant attitude:

• Geez, do I have to do everything around here?
• If I don’t toot my own horn, no one else will.
• Let me handle it. No one can do it better than me.

In themselves, these words may not seem so bad, but remember that arrogance is an attitude—a negative one. Individuals who say these kinds of things act in a way that sends a signal to those around them that they believe they are superior to everyone else.

For example, arrogant people often push others aside because they believe they are the only ones qualified to get things done the right way; they speak in ways that put down or disparage others; they take every opportunity to boast about their own accomplishments; and they project an obvious air of trying hard to appear cool.

Self-Confidence or Humility

You don’t have to sacrifice self-confidence to practice humility. When we start to talk about humility, one of the primary objections of driven people is the fear of not appearing confident enough. I will assure you that adopting an attitude of humility does not require you to sacrifice your self-confidence or the confidence you project.

To clarify this, let’s look at the definitions of both confidence and humility.

• Confidence is a self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s true abilities.

• Humility is having a modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance or rank.  It’s about being open to the possibility of improvement.

There’s no reason why these two character traits can’t coexist. In fact, when they do, it’s hard to find a more powerful combination. In Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t, author Jim Collins gives the example of David Packard, co-founder of Hewlett-Packard, as a humble leader who offers this sage advice:

“You shouldn’t gloat about anything you’ve done; you ought to keep going and find something better to do.”

As co-founder of one of the most successful companies in the U.S., you can bet that Packard is a confident individual, but that doesn’t preclude him from practicing humility.

Admittedly, finding the right balance between confidence and humility can be tough—especially for entrepreneurs and people in sales whose livelihood depends on marketing themselves and relying on their accomplishments to obtain future business. In these instances, deciding what information to present and how to present it is paramount. The key is to do so without coming across as egotistical.

Tips for Communicating Both Confidence and Humility

• Let your prior record, actions, and associates speak for you.  Avoid what would sound like boasting about yourself or your accomplishments.

• Limit the times that you speak freely about yourself and your achievements to those occasions when you are communicating the value you bring to a personal or business relationship.

• Consider how you can communicate your message in a way that does not sound like bragging.

Practicing Humility Is a Lifelong Endeavor

By its very nature, humility is not an attitude we ever perfect. It’s a practiced trait that requires constant monitoring, especially since arrogance—egotism, superiority, conceit— is always tugging at our human nature.

Nobel Prize winner Rabindranath Tagore describes both the benefits and practice of humility well: “We come nearest to great when we are great in humility.”

If you desire to adopt or grow in your practice of humility, avoid speaking about yourself in a proud or conceited manner.  Share your accomplishments in a modest, positive way when requested or necessary.

When it is necessary, such as when you need to sell yourself or your services, remember to communicate your message in a way that remains focused on your client or customer and what you can do for them, not just on what you can do.

When you practice humility, you gain the respect of others. Respect brings with it a number of rewards such as more satisfying relationships, broader influence, and a number of employment-related benefits like raises, promotions, and increased sales.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #44 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Pssst. Can you keep a secret?

In addition to ensuring that you don’t participate in matters that don’t concern you, it’s even more important to keep any confidence that you have been entrusted with by someone else. You can’t expect to advance personally or professionally if you betray the trust someone has placed in you.

Today’s lesson may prick your conscience; however, my hope is that you will see the immense value in learning the importance of keeping things confidential that should be private and secret.

The Link Between Trust and Confidentiality

When you earn the reputation of someone who can be relied on, you command the respect and trust of people around you and build deeper friendships. In business, trustworthy people are more likely to sell more products, built a larger customer base, receive more raises, and enjoy earlier promotions.

One of the most common, telltale signs of someone who cannot be trusted with confidential information is the person who is says, “So-and-so told me this in confidence, but I know you won’t say anything.”

While you may feel special that this person trusts you, what about the person whose information they promised not to divulge? Personally, I would think twice about sharing my own sensitive information with this person. In short, I would not trust someone who was telling me other people’s secrets.

Respecting and Keeping Confidences

Are you someone who can be trusted with private and confidential information?  To gauge your trustworthiness in this area, ask yourself how likely you would be to share any of the following:

1.  You are on a business trip and having some drinks after hours. A colleague overindulges and ends up passing out in the lobby after a series of pretty funny antics. Do you share this story back at the office?

2.  A partner decides to go his own way and leaves you hanging. You’ve been through a lot together and have plenty of information that could negatively influence his reputation. Do you leak this information?

3.  You and your spouse had a real blowout. Do you vent to your friends?

These situations are examples of implied confidentiality. In each case, no one is explicitly asked not to say anything, but clearly the right thing to do is to keep these things in confidence. There’s quite a bit at stake for the person at the center of each situation. Careers, reputations, and relationships could be irreparably damaged.

Here are a few tips when it comes to keeping confidences:

• Never share information that you have been asked to keep confidential.

• Use your judgment when it comes to matters of implied confidentiality.

• Keep things confidential that were intended to be confidential even if a relationship breaks down.

• Do not vent your private marital or relationship issues with your friends. This will cause them to view your spouse or significant other differently, probably negatively.

• When someone says, “I was asked to keep this in confidence, but I can share it with you,” let them know that you’d rather not be involved.

The next time you consider sharing information, be sure to ask yourself if there is a chance that the person who shared the information with you would like it kept confidential. If that is the case, don’t share it.

As in most matters, there are exceptions to keeping confidences, such as when someone’s health or well-being is at risk. Don’t take the oath of secrecy so far that you let someone continue to endanger themselves or someone else.

Are you willing to make a commitment to never share anything that should be kept confidential? It’s not an easy commitment, but remember that your decision to share or not to share will affect how others view you.

When you keep things confidential that should be confidential, you will gain the reputation as a person who can be trusted, and you will grow strong in character and value.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #42 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Or, do you often find yourself on the other end of the transaction?

For example:

• Do you have items which belong to someone else that you’ve been meaning to return, but haven’t gotten around to yet?

• Have you lost, accidentally damaged or broken something borrowed and are ashamed to face the owner so you’re just hoping he never brings it up?

Building Your Borrowing Credit Score

What you may not realize is that, in many respects, the act of borrowing an item that belongs to someone else—whether it’s a book, a tool, or a vehicle—is a lot like building your credit record.

When you borrow an item and return it promptly and in good or better condition, that’s a plus for you. On the other hand, when you fail to return something or return it late, you create a negative impression in the eyes of others, and your borrowing trustworthiness score goes down. In fact, if the offense is significant, such as returning a vehicle dirty or boat on empty, you risk permanently damaging your relationship with that person.

Becoming a Good Borrower

Good borrowing etiquette is really quite straightforward: it requires you to return the item you borrowed in a timely (agreed upon) manner and in the same or better condition.

Although it’s really rather simple, most of us are guilty of violating these rules much more often than we should. While we can say, “It’s because I’m too busy,” the real reason people ignore borrowing etiquette is because they don’t believe it’s important.

I’m taking time today to remind you that being a good borrower is important. When you make the effort to return borrowed items on time and in good condition, you are communicating respect for others and their property.  Because this is an area in which most people fall short, it helps you stand out as being responsible. What’s more, when you have a reputation as a good borrower, people are more willing to help you in the future.

Borrowing Tips

If you find it necessary to ask someone to borrow anything, here are five things you can do to build your borrowing trustworthiness and preserve your reputation:

1. 1. When you borrow something such as a stapler from a co-workers desk, dental floss from another family members bathroom, or a weed trimmer from your neighbor, return what you borrowed as soon as you are done using it.
2. 2. When you borrow something such as a book or movie from a friend, make a note on your calendar or your To Do list to return it.
3. 3. If you borrow someone’s car, truck, boat, lawn mower or snowmobile, always return it with more gas than when you borrowed it.
4. 4. If you have borrowed a vehicle for more than a day, I suggest filling it up with gas and washing it before returning it.
5. 5. When you return the item, if appropriate, consider including a hand-written note of thanks.

Where there’s a borrower, there’s a lender. When you’re the one doing the lending, remember that it’s a good idea to keep track of anything you lend out, and don’t lend out items you really care about or couldn’t bear to lose.

Good borrowing habits most definitely matter. I encourage you to make a commitment today to never again return an item late or in worse condition than when you received it.

To help you maintain good relationships and preserve your reputation, ensure that your borrowing habits reflect positively on your character.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #43 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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What’s in Your Rulebook?

Today’s lesson addresses discrimination of all types and is intended to help you see that each of us plays an important role in ending discrimination against those with whom we live and work.

Although it seems as if the reasons we should be concerned about ending discrimination are so obvious they need not be stated, I think it’s important that we keep in mind how damaging discrimination really is. The list of why discrimination is wrong is long, but here are the two most powerful reasons:

• Discrimination is dehumanizing. When you treat someone differently solely based on race, gender, age, etc., you deny the value of who they are as an individual.
• Discrimination hurts. Whether discrimination is subtle or overt, people know when they are being discriminated against, and it’s painful.

What Discrimination Looks Like

Awareness of the problem of racial discrimination is probably the highest it’s ever been, and most would probably agree that we’ve made measurable progress on race issues in this country in the past generation. But we still have a long way to go.

To help frame how prevalent all forms of discrimination are today, let’s consider a few common examples:

• A law firm has an unspoken rule that no female will make partner until a quota of male partners has been reached because they believe that clients have more faith in male attorneys than female attorneys.
• A high-end salon turns away otherwise qualified applicants because they don’t have the right look.
• A high-end restaurant uses a proprietary database to decline reservations for individuals who do not meet certain demographic qualifications.
• A local civic organization denies membership to individuals who do not hold the political views that are predominant in the current group.

In each of these cases, the individuals who may be turned away are being discriminated against for a host of different reasons: their gender, their looks, their income, or their political affiliation.

I can think of no valid reason why anyone should be treated differently for factors beyond their control, nor should they be viewed negatively because of their beliefs.

Your Role in Stopping Discrimination

I titled this post, The End of Discrimination Starts With You because you are the only person you can change. If enough of us make a daily, conscious effort not to discriminate, it is possible for real societal change to take place.

In my own personal and professional life, I am more prone to help someone who I believe is discriminated against than someone who is not. When I see that someone is disadvantaged because of something beyond their control, I go out of my way to befriend them and help in any way I can.

Therefore, I am challenging you to start looking at everyone as equal, and going above and beyond to support those who likely feel discriminated against. When you do, you benefit from knowing it’s the right thing to do. In addition, you will be showing greater respect to those around you and will present yourself as someone with a balanced and tolerant worldview.

Begin Today

If you wish to join me in taking an active stance against all forms of discrimination, here are some ways you can begin.

• Never again say anything negative or derogatory about anyone as it relates to things outside their control.
• Be more aware of discrimination. When you witness it, ask yourself if there is anything you can do personally to remedy the situation. Then do it!
• Be intentional about giving favor to those whom you know are being discriminated against.
• Say the words and practice the behavior you want children to imitate. As parents and teachers, we have a huge influence on our children and their views.
• Guard your thoughts and words when with those who make discriminating remarks.  Stand up for what’s right.
• Choose your friends carefully. People who discriminate are not friends of mine. Remember that you are the average of your five closest friends.

“It is often easier to become outraged by injustice half a world away than by oppression and discrimination half a block from home.” —Carl T. Rowan

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #43 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Do You Say Things You Later Regret?

What’s in Your Rulebook?

A good first impression may have landed you a job but a bad last impression could jeopardize your chances of getting other ones in the future. I admire those who leave their employers with great attitudes, when it would be easier to do otherwise.

It’s a small world out there, made even smaller by technology. To quote a somewhat trite but appropriate saying, “what goes around comes around.” During the early stages of my career, I was certainly naïve about this concept but the older I get the more I realize that my actions will dictate the lasting impressions I make in all my interactions. One damaged relationship can have far reaching implications.

If you leave a relationship on bad terms or you handle yourself in a tasteless manner, there is NO upside. Even if you feel good on the surface or somehow justify your actions, you will likely regret your behavior down the road.

Whether you are wronged, hurt, disrespected or mistreated in any way, how you react and respond is your choice. You are in control. You can act like a child and seek revenge by saying and doing bad things or you can hold your head high and handle yourself in a manner that makes you proud.

The benefits of leaving on a good note:

• You will be respected. No matter what the circumstances were concerning your departure, if you handle yourself with class, people’s respect for you will grow.

• People will speak highly of you. It is very difficult for people to speak poorly of people who handle themselves as honorable and admirable people.

• Your self-image will increase. When you do things you shouldn’t do, these things damage your self-image. On the other hand, when you do what you know is the right thing to do it builds your self-image. This is especially true if doing the right thing is difficult.

• You will get better references. If for whatever reason you leave your job, don’t allow yourself to think that you won’t need references from your employer or co-workers. Someone recently told me that a prospective employer wanted to personally speak to FIVE former co-workers before taking the interview process to the next stage.

If you want to advance your career and build your market value then your track record will be just as it sounds… your track record.

If I were to speak with a prospective employee’s references, I would definitely ask questions about the circumstances surrounding the employee’s departure. Their answers would reveal the applicant’s character and tell me how they would likely handle themselves if they were to leave my company.

Things in life rarely go exactly as we plan them. There will always be situations where we have to make a change. Sometimes serious ones like a marriage or a job and others not quite as significant. Regardless, be proud of the way you leave a situation and make your last impression a good one.

If you really want to stand out from the crowd, look for the good in others and leave by offering a genuine compliment.

Often times it’s the last impression a person makes that will be remembered.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here.

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To Earn Respect You Must Show Respect

My experience tells me that the most effective way to earn people’s respect is to consistently strive to excel at everything you do. When you give it your all, you will earn respect for your effort and for the person you become in the process. As people’s respect for you grows, your influence will grow accordingly. And when your influence develops, your value to the market place will increase.

Focus on Two Areas

If you have the desire to become an admired and respected leader, then there are two specific areas on which to focus your attention:

The first is to develop in the area of personal responsibility. Begin by identifying the little things that will allow you to perform your obligations at the highest level and then strive for excellence as you master them. Whether you want to be a great mom, a call center supervisor or the owner of your own successful business, the key is to push yourself to perform at the highest level you are capable of reaching.

The second is to improve yourself and grow as a person. Here are four recommendations:

• Become a student of personal growth and study the habits and characteristics of successful people. I attribute a great deal of my success to my commitment to personal development. There are many choices in the self-help marketplace but I prefer materials created from those who have actually been successful outside of their sales tool and speaking business. If you prefer learning by audio, I recommend Your Success Store.

• Subscribe to Success magazine. For less than $3 a month, you can learn fresh ideas and strategies from some of the most recognized and respected leaders in our country. My favorite part of the magazine is the CD insert containing leadership tips from these experts.

• Commit three to five minutes a day to either read or listen to my daily lessons. I suggest you download my daily podcasts and keep them in your itunes library for reference at any time. Repetition can have a powerful impact on learning. I have been teaching and coaching people for more than twenty years and I am convinced people learn more by listening than by reading. You can subscribe to my podcasts or download them by clicking the “Apple” icon in the upper right part of the Little Things Matter home page.

• Observe successful people, especially those who hold a position of leadership you aspire to achieve. Pay close attention to the little things: from their appearance to the way they interact and treat other people. I have learned a great deal in my life by observing other successful people.

As you begin implementing the little things you learn, stretch yourself to do your very best. Push yourself harder than you have ever pushed yourself before. Regardless of your age, education or background, if you will strive for excellence to be the very best at what you do, you will quickly see your influence begin to grow.

Let me challenge you to be type of leader you would respect, admire and want to follow. Great leaders aren’t born. They are slowly formed from the compounding effect of small daily improvements. Starting today, begin to view yourself as the leader you want to become. Then commit yourself to the daily process of constant and never-ending improvement.

Becoming a respected leader will open opportunities in your life that have never existed before. As you grow as a leader, one of the most rewarding and fulfilling benefits is the opportunity you will have to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

In every type of leadership position, the improvements you make in who you are and what you do, will have a positive impact on the people you are leading. So, when you do the little things to get better, everyone you lead will get better.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter.To receive Todd’s daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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