Put yourself in the position of the owner of your business or the leader of your organization. What qualities would you look for in the employee whom you would advance within your management structure? If you had to lay people off, what type of person would you release? What type would you keep?

Now put yourself in the position of the employee. How would your employer rate your services? The fact is it’s the “little things” you do and don’t do that have a direct impact on your raises, promotions, and influence within an organization. The way you are viewed will not only impact your success at your current place of employment, but it will also affect the recommendations and references that follow you if you leave.

Here are 15 “little things” that will increase your value to your employer and make you stand out as a person who takes pride in your job…read more

Rapport is the process of building an amicable relationship—an emotional bond—between people based on trust, understanding, and a sharing of each other’s interests and concerns. It’s an attraction built on mutual liking, empathy, and camaraderie.

Early in my career, I recognized that rapport is one of the most important characteristics of human interaction. I realized that if I were going to be a successful Realtor, I would need to learn how to quickly build rapport with people. I studied; I researched; and I finally compiled a list of “little things” that would help me to quickly build rapport. (See The 12 Fastest Ways to Build Rapport.)

Being able to build instant rapport with people offers numerous benefits. If we know how to quickly connect with people, we can use this knowledge in job interviews, business meetings, networking events, attracting a partner, and many other situations where the speed in which we build rapport matters…read more

You have no doubt heard the proverb—Actions speak louder than words.

It’s true. Your body is a crucial part of communicating your inner feelings. Of course, we can’t communicate ideas, thoughts, and plans without words. However, the way people interpret those words is tremendously influenced by our non-verbal communication.

In her research, Dr. Isa Engleberg (Professor of Speech at Prince George College) has suggested that between 60 and 70 percent of all meaning—understanding—is derived from our body language.

What is body language? It’s a form of non-verbal communication consisting of facial expressions, eye movements, gestures, and posture. Here are a few examples:… read more

Meeting with groups of people is something we all experience. Whether it’s board meetings, business meetings, office meetings, church meetings, or small group meetings, you can do some simple things to build your personal brand and have your words carry more weight.

1.  Learn about the participants. If you are attending an important meeting where people will be present whom you have not yet met, learn about them in advance. Google their names, read their websites, review their LinkedIn profiles, or whatever options are available to you. How would you view someone who took the time to learn about you in advance?

2.  Dress appropriately. The way you appear in meetings will impact how you are viewed—both at the subconscious and conscious level. When you take pride in your appearance, people will regard you more seriously and will place more value in what you say…read more

Do you form opinions about people based upon their written communications with you? Can you distinguish between the people who take pride in their communications and those who don’t?

In today’s electronic age, one of the primary ways we are branding ourselves is through our typed words. Our emails, text messages, and posts on social media sites reveal much about who we are.

How you are viewed impacts the respect people have for you, the influence you have with others, and the people you attract into your life. These things play an important role in your personal and professional relationships, in the value you bring to the market, and how you feel about yourself…read more

We are living in an era of constant change. Because businesses are becoming less dictatorial and more social, the understanding and value of soft skills to an organization are growing daily.

In Top 10 Soft Skills to Master, I touched on a couple reasons why soft skills are important, but those were just the tip of the iceberg. The more I look at the distinguishing traits of people who are advancing their careers, the more convinced I am that soft skills are more important today than ever before.

Soft Skills versus Hard Skills

“Soft skills” is a term relating to a collection of personal, positive attributes and competencies that enhance your relationships, job performance, and value to the market…. read more

Our relationships influence every area of our lives. From the friends we attract to the promotions we receive, all of our personal and professional success is built on relationships. This is why it is critical that we do the little things that nourish and strengthen our relationships with others.

Every day we interact with people. During these conversations, it is important that we be fully present and give people our undivided attention. If we aren’t careful, we can be distracted and run the risk of being viewed as rude, inconsiderate, and disrespectful… read more

Over the past year, I have focused on writing posts teaching people the little things they can do to achieve greater personal and professional success.

A respected friend, Don Yoakum, challenged me to write about what he calls “Decision Points”—real-life examples of how I make my decisions and implement these lessons into my life.

Yesterday, I received a demand email from the treasurer of the homeowners association where I own an investment property. It went like this…read more

Since you will be celebrating Christmas and New Years during the next two weekends with family and friends, I want to give you a few timely reminders on what I call party etiquette. When my family makes sure to do these things at other people’s homes, our efforts are noticed and appreciated.

Consider these 12 little things when you’re invited to someone’s home this holiday season…read more

Soft skills is a term relating to a cluster of personal attributes that characterize relationships with other people, such as social graces, communication, cooperation, honesty, respect, responsibility, friendliness, and optimism.

Because companies are becoming more process and system driven and because job competition has increased at all levels, there has never been a time when soft skills offer more value to the market than they do today.

As a growing number of people with similar talents and education compete for the same jobs, promotions, and clients, soft skills become the differentiating factor separating one person from another. The little things you’ve been learning about in this blog now matter more than ever…read more

How do you feel when someone disagrees with you? Do you feel attacked or offended? Does your posture change? Do you immediately feel the urge to respond and prove that you are right, or do you want to withdraw?

How do you feel when someone not only disagrees with you, but also makes negative or derogatory comments about your position?

When people disagree with our thinking, our natural tendency is to become defensive, often causing destructive results to people on both sides of the issue…read more

Last week I read a blog post 7 Personal Branding Predictions for 2011 by personal branding expert Dan Schawbel. One of his seven predications for 2011 was that soft skills will become more important than hard skills.

Dan said, “When enough people have similar talents, and are competing for the same positions and opportunities, the real differentiator is your interpersonal skills. The way you present yourself, how you communicate with other people, whether it’s in an interview or with management at work, can make or break your personal brand. More and more people are starting to realize that the little things matter, especially in our current competitive environment.”…read more

Reflect on the experience of meeting someone for the first time and feeling an immediate connection. What was it about this person that you found attractive?

Think of a salesperson you really liked. Did this person try to impress you or was he or she a sincere, quality person who took the time to get to know you and understand your needs?

My guess is that in both situations, the person you connected with was being genuine or authentic…read more

Authors: Todd and Joy Smith, Founders of Little Things Matter

Yesterday, we celebrated our 25^th wedding anniversary. We can’t believe we are old enough to have been married for 25 years. Recognizing the importance of building a successful marriage, we want to share with you our top 25 marriage tips. The following points are not listed in any specific order. It is our hope that these tips will help you enjoy a more rewarding marriage.

We recorded the podcast version of this post and we’ve added commentary that’s not included in the written post. Click here to listen to this podcast. (The audio player is below the title of the post.)

1. Marry the right person. There is only one way you will know if the person you are dating is the right person to marry and that is by spending time together. We recommend dating at least one year before getting engaged. We dated for four years before getting married. Once we got married, there were no surprises…read more

Delivering unpleasant news, correcting misunderstandings, confronting a friend or family member, and dealing with hard-to-talk-about issues are the kinds of conversations most of us dread. They’re a part of life, however, and you can’t avoid them. Although you may never be 100 percent comfortable in these situations, there are a number of things you can do to make these necessary talks as productive and painless as possible.

When handled calmly and with respect for the other person, even the most challenging conversations can lead to an improved state of affairs for all involved. When you practice the art of handling difficult conversations, you learn valuable lessons about interpersonal communication that can be applied in many different circumstances. In addition, your ability to influence others grows, and so does their respect for you.

Below are ten guidelines to help you confront challenging situations. If you are intentional about implementing them, your results will improve and you will be more likely to reach your desired outcome…read more

If you are old enough to read this post, I am sure you have experienced what it feels like to have people talk behind your back. When this happens to you, how does it make you feel towards the person who spoke poorly of you?

Your Words Are a Mirror

What we say about others reflects on our own character. Specifically, when we speak unfavorably of others, it not only hurts the person our words are aimed at, but it also damages our credibility and reputation in the process…read more

(Author, Hannah Smith, Todd Smith’s 15-Year-Old Daughter. The image is not Hannah)

Have you ever had an argument with someone important to you? Did you win or lose? Do you love the feeling when the opposing argument gets shut down, and your opponent conforms to your opinion? Is that your ultimate goal? What about how your opponent feels? Do you care?

I’m like many teenagers. Because I have strong (and often contrary) opinions, I’ve had my share of arguments; I’ve won some and lost some…read more

Pssst. Can you keep a secret? How do you react when you hear these words uttered in a hushed tone? Do you feel important that you are about to be trusted with confidential information, or do you wonder if it’s gossip that you don’t want to hear?

In addition to ensuring that you don’t participate in matters that don’t concern you, it’s even more important to keep any confidence that you have been entrusted with by someone else. You can’t expect to advance personally or professionally if you betray the trust someone has placed in you.

Today’s lesson may prick your conscience; however, my hope is that you will see the immense value in learning the importance of keeping things confidential that should be private and secret….read more

Have you ever thought or said something like this? “If he does that one more time, I am going to lose it!” Or, “If she keeps treating me that way, I am going to give her a piece of my mind!” Or, “If this happens again, I won’t be able to restrain myself!”

These are examples of what I call the ticking time bomb. When I hear people say these types of things, I cringe and want to say “WARNING”. When you know in advance that you are going to retaliate if someone does or says something again, you are in danger of exploding and damaging your reputation.

Consider this true story…read more

I’m excited to share today’s lesson because it captures one of life’s simple yet powerful truths. When you focus on others rather than on yourself, you make a positive difference in two lives—yours and the person with whom you interact.

When you are intentional about doing things that make others feel good, you create a special connection that accelerates new relationships and nurtures existing ones.

The Values of Making People Feel Good

Recently, I talked about habits we have that bug people and the damaging effect that can have on our reputations. However, doing things that make people feel good is quite the opposite. Not only does it brighten someone’s day, but it’s a positive reflection on you and enhances your reputation…read more