The definition of a rut is a deep groove, track or trench with no end in sight, which has been worn by a vehicle or habitual passage. It’s a monotonous routine where you keep trudging along, often losing sight of your own goals and uniqueness. This can be an accurate description of a lifestyle that so many people have fallen into, especially in this economic environment. Does it describe you?

My life experiences have taught me you can’t advance your life forward personally or professionally when you are in a rut. Ruts drag you down and prevent advancement.

If you don’t get out of the rut, you will be frustrated, discouraged, and unfulfilled. Your relationships will suffer and your performance will be adversely affected…read more

I often hear people say, “I wish I could do that over again.” Or “I feel so bad about what happened; I wish I had never said anything.” Or “I wish I had never made that investment.” Or “I wish I had never dated that person.” When you make these types of statements you are wishing you had done something differently.

My Wish-I-Hadn’t-Done-That List

Like all of these people, I have done some stupid things. I have said irresponsible things that damaged relationships. I have handled myself inappropriately in business settings. I have thrown eggs at people’s homes and snowballs at cars. I have drunk too much. I have done drugs. I have made terrible investments and lost millions of dollars. I have lied to people. I have acted like a fool. I have been disrespectful to others. The fact is—and I am not proud to say—that just about any bad thing you have done, it’s possible that I may have done that, too…read more

Think of the last time you saw a young toddler taking his or her first steps. Most likely Mom or Dad was standing right there, ready to help. When she tripped or leaned a little too heavily to one side, she was gently steadied and put back on course for the next step.

Believe it or not, constructive feedback involves much the same process of careful, consistent course correction. While the benefits of receiving constructive feedback are rather well known—improved performance, a shorter learning curve, and personal growth—the benefits of giving good constructive feedback are not as widely recognized.

Specifically, when you show someone that you care by taking the time to give constructive and supportive feedback, it’s natural for them to care more about you as well as take a greater interest in your relationship…read more

Can you recall a time when you were reprimanded, criticized, or put down in front of someone else? If so, you know that it’s quite humiliating to be on the receiving end of public criticism.

“Praise in public and criticize in private” is a golden rule of business and social etiquette. Yet, this wise communication advice often goes unheeded. Even though most of us agree with this rule on the surface, it isn’t always easy to make sure we’re not the ones doing the public criticizing.

Today’s message is about how best to handle disputes, problems, and constructive feedback privately and why this benefits you…read more

Do you remember the last time you received an unexpected call, text or email from someone who intentionally said something complimentary to you? How did it make you feel?  Did it brighten your mood?  Did it bring a smile to your face?  What impression did this person make on you?

When I consider the different types of impressions we make on people, there are very few more powerful then when you do something unexpectedly to show people they are important to you. It could be a simple text message telling a friend how much you value the friendship or a short email to a co-worker complimenting him or her on the way he or she handled a difficult situation at the office today…read more

One of my favorite quotes comes from the extraordinary public speaker, Robert Cavett.  Robert said, “Three billion people on the face of the earth go to bed hungry every night, but four billion people go to bed every night hungry for a simple word of encouragement and recognition.” My heart goes out to those who are starving to be noticed, valued and appreciated.

In yesterday’s post I talked about the importance of recognizing and encouraging yourself because you can’t expect to be recognized or encouraged by others.  Very few people make the effort to say positive and uplifting things to others but those who do stand out like the light of a freight train in a dark tunnel…read more