Did you know you have the power to make our world a better place?  “Who? Me? Impossible!”

In this world of turmoil and strife, with chaos everywhere across our nation and around the globe, there has never been a greater hunger for simple words of encouragement. Excessive stress, lack of control, financial pressure, uncertainty about tomorrow—these are all taking their toll on people’s emotions, health, and morale.

However, there is hope. There is one indispensable ingredient that can transform and inspire individuals, improve life, grow a positive attitude, build self-esteem, and enhance relationships. That ingredient is encouragement.

Albert Schweitzer said, “Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being.” There are two ways to rekindle that flame, to give the gift of encouragement—by your words and by your actions.

By Your Words

Your heartfelt and positive words can make a difference in a person’s life, which could lead to a change in the community, nation, and world. Mother Teresa said, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

Here are some positive ways to encourage people with your words.

1.  Offer praise for ordinary accomplishments. Look for the little things that most people take for granted. Make it personal. Look the other person in the eye, pause, and share your words with real meaning.

2.  Show appreciation. Watch for the slightest improvement in someone. Be specific. Avoid clichés like, “You’re doing a great job.” Instead tell the person exactly what it is that you appreciate about him or her. Is it their timeliness, work ethic, the way they treat customers or the way they ran the meeting? Perhaps it’s someone’s weight loss, efficiency, or tidiness.

3.  Let someone know you are praying for them. I have yet to hear anyone turn down a prayer when needed.

4.  Offer words of cheer for someone depressed, discouraged, or overwhelmed. A timely encouraging word can give a person that is ready to quit the fuel to keep going.

5.  Honor the person who has reached a milestone. Don’t hide it. If appropriate, express your appreciation publicly.

6.  Compliment someone when they aren’t expecting it. Look for something that other people may have overlooked. Tell them what it is and why you think it was worthy of notice.

7.  Always say please and thank you. Always means every time, even if it’s their normal responsibility, such as cooking a meal, typing your report, or cutting the lawn.

Remember that kind words cost you nothing, but can accomplish much.  King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, wrote, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

By Your Actions

1.  Take time out to listen. How many times has someone said, “I feel better” after talking to you about something, when all you did was listen?

2.  Send a card, email, or text telling people you appreciate them. Intentionally written words can be a powerful source of encouragement.

3.  Physically help someone in need. It could be shoveling the snow for an elderly couple down the street or helping a co-worker who is running behind.

4.  Be kind and considerate. It could be as simple as a smile, opening the door for someone, or acknowledging your co-workers.

Your supportive actions and words of encouragement don’t just enhance the lives of others; they enrich your life as well. The simple act of showing you care strengthens your relationships, builds trust, and increases your influence.

Are you willing to put forth the effort to recognize, appreciate, and encourage others? This may be hard for some of you who desperately need it in your own lives. It’s not easy dishing out encouragement when you are starving for it yourself, but it may be just the thing you need.  We should remember the words of George Adams: “There are high spots in all of our lives, and most of them have come about through encouragement from someone else.”

Let me urge you to answer these three questions?

1.  Being honest with myself, on a scale of 1-10, how encouraging am I?

2.  How can I become more supportive (in word or deed) of others?

3.  What changes am I willing to make to become an encourager?

Your gift of encouragement has the power to change lives!

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #25 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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What is the most dominate dream you think about? Would you like to know your odds of achieving it? In three minutes you will know your answer.

As part of my desire to continue learning and growing, I attended a leadership event this past weekend hosted by Bob Burg and Paul Martinelli featuring three of my favorite teachers, Les Brown, Bob Burg and Dr. John C. Maxwell.

Dr. Maxwell (internationally respected leadership expert, speaker, and author) gave an insightful presentation on his book, Put Your Dream to the Test. He said, “The more valid reasons you have for achieving your dreams, the greater your odds will be of achieving them.”

He highlighted 10 important questions you MUST answer to test your dreams.

Are you ready to take the test? Pick ONE of your dreams. Got it? Now answer Maxwell’s 10 questions to determine if the odds are in your favor.

1.  Is my dream really my dream? If you want to achieve your dream, you must “own” it. It must be yours, not your parents’, teachers’, or anyone else’s. If the achievement of a dream is not of great importance to YOU, it’s unlikely that you will do what’s required to accomplish it.

2.  Do I clearly see my dream? What does it look like? The more specific you are on what your dream looks like, the more likely you will be to achieve it. This is one of the reasons I encourage people to cut out images of their “big” goals and dreams, create a collage, and look at it regularly. At first you may only see a piece of your dream; but each day as you move closer, the clearer it will become.

3.  Am I depending on things within my control? This is when you have to be honest with yourself and determine if reaching your dream is within your control. Are you depending on others? If so, who? Do you have the talent, skill or ability to make it come true? If not, can you develop what you are lacking?

4.  Do I have the energy to achieve it? This is the passion question. Think of your last great accomplishment. How much energy did it require of you? Is your dream important enough to you that you will put forth the energy necessary over the time period required?

5.  Do I have a strategy? I see very few people who take the time to put together a “real” plan to reach their goals. I am often left in awe, wondering, “How do you think you can achieve your goal without putting together a plan?” A plan outlines the things you must do in a prioritized sequence to achieve your desired outcome.

6.  Who do I have around me that can help me? Dr. Maxwell said, “A nightmare is a big dream with a bad team.” Who’s on your team to support, encourage, and help you? If you don’t have the right people on your team, identify people you admire and respect; then determine how they can help you.

7.  Am I willing to pay the price? This is when you have a gut check and ask yourself, “Am I willing to do what is required of me to see my dream come true?” The bigger your dream, the more it will require of you. Are you willing to put forth the effort, overcome the obstacles, and deal with the disappointments that you will face on your journey?

8.  Am I moving closer? This is the tenacity question. Am I closer to reaching my dream today than I was yesterday? Was I closer yesterday than the day before? Look at your “To Do” lists over the last week and identify the steps you have taken toward your dream.

9.  Does working toward my dream bring satisfaction? If you are not growing and developing yourself in the pursuit of your dream, it may be time to identify a new one. Your journey must be fulfilling.

10.  Does my dream benefit others? If so, Who? Why? If your dream is all about your selfish desires, it’s unlikely that it will ever be realized. Zig Ziglar, the most recognized sales trainer in American history, said, “When you help enough other people get what they want, you will have everything you want.”

How many times did you answer, “Yes”? The more yeses you answered, the more on target you are to achieve your dream. Each of you has the capability to visualize a dream—one that is rewarding and beneficial—and most of you have the ability to accomplish it.

So, what are the odds of achieving your dream? If they’re not high, what can you do to increase your odds? Do you need to put together a plan? Do you need to re-evaluate your commitment? Do you need a new support team?

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.” Karen Ravn

Let me encourage you to print this lesson and ask yourself these ten questions with every dream or goal you consider. Since we can’t reasonably pursue everything we desire, we need to be wise and focus only on the things that pass the test.

Dreams come from hidden desires and possibilities. Everyone has dreams that occupy their minds, but it takes determination, a practical plan, and consistent effort to achieve them. Pursue your dream; begin today.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #25 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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What you are about to read can have a significant impact on the levels of stress you experience. This post is not about how to deal with stress; it’s about how to reduce and avoid it.

Most of the stress we experience can be broken down into three categories.

1.  Stress we can’t control—such as the loss of a job, loss of a loved one, or encountering major health challenges.

2.  Natural stress—such as what we feel when we set goals, push ourselves outside our comfort zones, and strive to get better.

3.  Stress we can control—such as being late to an appointment, having a breakdown in a relationship, or getting upset sitting in traffic.

When you identify and learn how to manage the things that create stress, you will experience improvements in every area of your life—from your relationships to your performance, from your health to your outlook on life.

Let me encourage you to print these 33 points and highlight the ones that you are determined to work on. The realization that you are in control of your stress is the foundation of stress management.

1.  Don’t over commit. Whether in your personal or professional life, learn your limits and set boundaries. Know when to say, “No!” Don’t take on more than you can reasonably handle.

2.  Avoid people who stress you out. If someone is a constant source of stress and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person, or end the relationship entirely.

3.  Avoid heated topics. You know the topics that cause your blood pressure to rise, so learn to avoid them.

4.  Practice relaxation techniques. Techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing activate the body’s relaxation response—a state of restfulness opposite of the stress response. When practiced regularly, you will enjoy a reduction in your everyday stress levels, benefit by a boost in your feelings of peace and serenity, and increase your ability to stay calm under pressure.

5.  Change how you view things. Practice viewing stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than getting stressed out about sitting in traffic, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, to listen to your favorite music or self-improvement CD, or to just enjoy some quiet time.

6.  Practice positive thinking. How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and physical well-being. People who maintain a positive attitude and practice positive thinking experience less stress than those who are pessimistic and negative.

7.  Anticipate problems. When issues arise, address them head on before they escalate. The best way to avoid big problems is by addressing them when they are small.

8.  Express your feelings. When something or someone is upsetting you, learn to communicate your concerns in an open and respectful manner. Even if it’s just sharing what you are going through with a friend, you will likely feel better.

9.  Practice good time management. Every improvement you make in how you spend your time gives you greater control of your life and plays a small role in reducing your everyday stress levels.

10.  Don’t procrastinate. Putting things off until the last minute is a guaranteed way to increase your stress levels. Start doing what you know you should do when you know you should do it. Become a do-it-now person.

11.  Stop striving for perfection. We should push ourselves to improve and to always do our best, BUT we need to know when something is good enough. On a scale of 1-10, start shooting for 8’s and 9’s.

12.  Look for the upside. When problems and challenges present themselves, look at them as opportunities for personal growth. The next time you are faced with a challenge remember this African proverb: “Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.”

13.  Set aside relaxation time. Block out time each day to rest, relax, and recharge your batteries. Look at your daily schedule and identify one or more periods of time when you can take a break. Do something you enjoy during these blocks of time.

14.  Keep your sense of humor. Smiling and laughing are great ways to reduce stress.

15.  Exercise regularly. It is well documented that physical activity plays a key role in reducing the effects of stress on the body. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. A brisk walk can do wonders to reduce stress.

16.  Consume healthy food and beverages. When we nourish our bodies with healthy foods and beverages our bodies are better prepared to cope with stress.

17.  Get enough sleep. Getting a good night’s sleep allows you to rest your mind and body. When you are tired and fatigued, you experience more stress than when you are fresh and full of energy.

18.  Use a “To Do” list. Writing down everything you need to do in a prioritized sequence is a huge stress reducer. When you are doing exactly what you should be doing in the exact sequence in which things need to be completed, you will feel more at peace.

19.  Don’t accept stress. Refuse to get stressed out. As an example, if you are feeling stress because of everything you have to do, but yet you are giving 100% of yourself and you are working on things in a prioritized sequence, say, “I’m doing all I can do.” This is a conversation I have with myself several times each week as I consider all that I have to do.

20.  Put together a debt-reduction plan. Putting together a plan to decrease your debt will do wonders to reduce financial stress. Much of the financial pressure people live with is a result of not having a budget or plan.

21.  Build valued relationships. If you put an emphasis on building valued relationships, you will not only find greater enjoyment in life, but you will have fewer conflicts. Spending time with positive and encouraging people makes you feel better and reduces stress.

22.  Stop stressing over little things. So much stress comes from getting worked up over petty little things—such as the person driving slowly in front of you, or listening to someone who has an opposing view on an insignificant subject. Use your self-control to ignore the little things that bug you.

23.  Learn to respond, not react. When something upsets you, don’t react in haste. Instead pause and consider the best way to respond—a way that you will be proud of later.

24.  Write things down. Stop trying to remember everything; start taking notes or making lists. This frees the mind and, because you don’t need to remember things, you will feel a whole lot less stress.

25.  Don’t pick fights. You know the types of things that cause conflict. Unless it is something really important to you, learn to let it go.

26.  Plan ahead and arrive early. We have all experienced the stress of running late for an appointment. When you have to be somewhere at a specific time, plan ahead and arrive early.

27.  Stop expecting people to live by your rules. Dealing with unmet expectations is a huge source of stress. Make sure you set proper expectations for yourself. When you set expectations for others, make sure they understand them. Expecting people to fulfill your unspoken expectations is a sure fire way to get a dose of unwanted stress.

28.  Get organized. How do you feel when your home, car, or workplace is a mess, or when you are working on a project and can’t find things? Take the time to get organized; then do the little things each day to stay organized.

29.  Present yourself as being calm and in control. When you present yourself in this manner, you will feel less hurried and more confident, both of which will reduce the stress you feel.

30.  Learn to estimate how long activities take. Start tracking how long things take to complete. In most cases, the actual amount of time it takes to do something is more than you initially estimated. By clearly understanding how long an activity “really” takes, you can better control your schedule and commitments.

31.  Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control, including the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control, such as how you should respond to them.

32.  Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that we all make mistakes. Let go of anger, resentment, and negative energy by forgiving those who have hurt you.

33.  Be grateful. Take time each day to reflect on the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This will increase your happiness and help you keep things in perspective.

Let me encourage you to take some time and make a list of the things that cause you to feel stressed. As you look at each point, determine what you can do to reduce the stress it causes you.

As you go about each day, be aware of your stress levels and their sources. If watching the news impacts your stress levels, then stop watching it. If some of your choices are creating stressful situations, then learn from them and avoid them in the future.

Managing stress is all about taking control of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun.

What helps you reduce or avoid stress? Please share your thoughts and ideas in the comment section below this post.

Learning how to avoid and reduce stress is one of the most important skills you can master, not only for your own health and happiness but also because of how your stress levels impact those close to you.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #24 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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Here are ten tips that will help you get out of debt.

1.  Get motivated. The only way you will get out of debt is if getting out of debt is important to you. Make a list of the reasons you want to get out of debt. Ideas might include: it’s putting pressure on your marriage; it’s putting stress on your body; you want to live a financially responsible life; you want to be able to put your children through college; you want to save for retirement.

2.  Understand your debts. Identify and list all your debts showing the total due, the interest rate, finances charges, late fees, and over-the-limit charges. Then total all your debt, finance charges, and fees. By understanding your debt and associated fees, you will be able to make better decisions.

3.  Create a budget. Putting together and living by a household budget is critical to getting out of debt. Furthermore, it is part of living a financially responsible life. If you don’t know how to put together a budget, click the link above and/or seek help from a respected friend or family member.

4.  Log every penny you spend. Carry a small notebook you can put into your pocket or purse, or use your mobile device to log everything you buy, even if it is a $.50 candy bar. As you spend money, ask yourself “Is this absolutely necessary?” or “Is there a less expensive option?” At the end of the month, go over your expenditures and look for things you can eliminate the following month.

5.  Negotiate with your creditors. Call your creditors, explain your situation and ask for their help. I have heard countless stories from people I know who have been successful in negotiating lower interest rates, having late fees reversed, skipping payments, and lowering monthly payments. You will often be amazed at what creditors will do to help you, if you just ask.

6.  Increase your income. If you are working less than 40 hours a week, consider all options available to increase your hours. If you are already working 40 hours a week, consider a part-time job or side business. Above all, focus on increasing the value you bring to the market. As you build your value, your income will follow.

7.  Use cash instead of credit cards. Keep one card and use it only for emergencies or major necessities, such as your furnace or air conditioner breaking down. Put your credit card in a safe place and make a commitment not to use it for everyday purchases. Do not accept credit increases or cards from other credit card companies.

8.  Change your habits. Take a minute and consider some of your expensive habits such as eating out, having an afternoon latte, drinking a diet soda every day, browsing through stores, or drinking with your friends after work. These little expenditures add up to big dollars.

9.  Pay off your debt with the highest interest rate first. Select the bill with the highest interest rate and pay it first. When it is paid off, close the account so you are not tempted to use it again. Continue this process, one account at a time, until all your accounts are paid in full. When using this method, measure your progress by watching your overall debt decrease.

There are other methods, such as the Debt-snowball Method, but paying your debts with the highest interest rates first is the smartest.

10.  Shop smarter. Stop paying retail prices for anything you buy. Start shopping at discount stores, thrift stores, and resale shops. Use shopping comparison websites such as Biz Rate, Price Grabber and Shop Zilla and make sure you are getting the best price for what you are buying.

If you are in debt, I challenge you to make the decision right now that you are going to put together a plan to eliminate your debt. Let today be the day you say, “Enough is enough, I am going to take control of my finances and get out of debt.”

If you are married or living with someone, let me encourage you to go through this process together. It is critical that you are both equally committed to ridding yourself of your debt. As you begin implementing your plan, you must hold yourself accountable and not allow exceptions.

If you are overwhelmed and not sure what to do, seek the help of a trained professional. Ask a respected friend, family member, or your accountant for a referral. You can also check out debt consolidation blog to learn what other people are doing to reduce their debt.

Do you have some practical ideas that can help people reduce their debt? What creative things have you been able to do to reduce your debt? Please share your insights in the comment section below this post.

You can’t control your life if you can’t control how you spend your money.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #24 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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Year-end Financial Review

With your help and support, this blog already has more than 10,500 subscribers. The podcasts are now ranked No.26 in America’s Top Podcasts; No.1 in the personal and professional development space; and, the Little Things Matter Facebook page has over 23,500 followers.

What better way to celebrate a great year than to review the most popular posts of the past year. Using Google analytics, we selected the two top-viewed posts from each month. These are the posts that you, the readers of this blog, viewed the most.

January

It’s a New Day!—This was my first blog post. It highlights the fact that we can create an amazing life if we put the past behind us and focus our energy on our future. If you often dwell on your past mistakes, you will benefit by reading this post.

Our Lives Are a Mirror Image of the Little Decisions We Make—This is one of life’s most important lessons and the title says it all.

February

Become a Respected Leader—Leadership is a privilege. It’s not something you take; it’s not something get; it’s not a title. It is something you earn by becoming a person who is respected.

Who Do I Have to Become To Get What I Want?—Most people focus their attention on what they need to DO to achieve their goals and never consider who they need to BECOME. Of the 203 posts on this blog, I think this is the most important.

March

Six Ways to Avoid Misunderstandings—Imagine how much happier your life would be if you didn’t have misunderstandings with people. If you follow these six tips, you will significantly reduce the number of times you are involved in a breakdown in communication.

10 Ways to Make a Positive Impression Through Your Voicemail Messages— The voicemail messages you leave for people make an impression and are part of your personal brand. By following a few simple tips, you can improve how you are viewed by friends and associates.

April

Top 33 Email Tips—Few people really take pride in their email communication. Those who do stand out as people who understand and recognize the importance of written communication. (These tips were later included in a report titled, 49 Ways to Improve Your Email Brand.)

Top 10 Phone Tips—Do you form opinions of people based on how they sound over the phone? Because people cannot see us through the phone, they form opinions based not only on “what” we say but also on “how” we say it. This post will help you improve your phone skills.

May

36 Ways to Make a Positive Impression in Less Than 10 Seconds—What surprised me about this one is that I didn’t think a post with 36 short points would be popular. Boy, was I wrong! 1330 people on Facebook have shared this post with their friends.

Sometimes Five Seconds Is All it Takes—A simple, but powerful story reinforced the fact that when you show an interest in people and the things that are important to them, they will show an interest in you and the things that are important to you. Five seconds is often all it takes.

June

25 Unexpected Ways to Make Someone’s Day—When was the last time someone did something unexpected to brighten your day? How did you feel about that person? When you do things for people that are unexpected, you are making a large deposit into your Relationship Bank Account. This was one of the top five posts of the year.

The Value of a Mastermind Team—Napoleon Hill said, “No two minds ever come together without a third invisible force, which may be likened to a ‘third mind.’ When a group of individual minds are coordinated and function in harmony, the increased energy created through that alliance becomes available to every individual in the group.”

July

Happiness is a Choice—The research coming out on “Happiness” supports the fact that, for most of us, happiness is a choice. Just as you choose to put maple syrup on your pancakes because it makes them taste better, you can choose to be happy because of how it makes you feel.

Taking a Good Look in the Mirror of Truth—I asked each of my children to write a guest post this past year. Jessica, my daughter-in-law, wrote this powerful lesson on personal character that will make you stop and think.

August

10 Ways to Make People Feel Good—This is a powerful post. It’s more than just a post listing 10 simple things you can do to make someone feel good. You will learn that when you focus on others, you make a positive difference in two lives—yours and the person with whom you interact.

The Compound Effect—My friend Darren Hardy, publisher of “Success Magazine” wrote this book. I was so impressed that I summarized some of the most important lessons in his book. I am not sure if it was Darren’s book or my summary of it that made this post so popular. 

September

The Duplication Effect of Leadership—One of the most important leadership lessons you will ever learn. If you lead a team, stop now and read this post.

Your Words Reflect Your Character—What we say about others reflects on our own character. When we speak unfavorably of others, it not only hurts the person our words are aimed at, but it also damages our credibility and reputation.

October

25 Tips to Staying Married 25 Years—In this most popular post of the year, my wife and I share our top 25 tips to staying married 25 years. If you’re married, I encourage you to print this post and discuss it with your spouse.

Personal Accountability-A Requirement For Life Advancement—If you will hold yourself accountable for your actions, responsibilities, and goals, you can achieve anything that is important to you. Powerful lesson.

November

130 Time Management Tips—I have yet to see a more comprehensive time-management report available on the Internet.

Overcoming Procrastination—Discover the most common causes of procrastination and the best methods for overcoming this destructive habit. Procrastination is not just an achievement killer, it is a self-esteem killer.

December

How Much Money Do You Need to Retire?—If enjoying a comfortable retirement is important to you, you cannot postpone your retirement planning. The quality of your retirement will be greatly influenced by the decisions you make today. This post outlines exactly how much money you need to save to maintain your current qualify of life during retirement.

How to Handle Disagreements—One of the skills we should all strive to master in our personal and professional lives is how to properly handle ourselves when we disagree with another person.

I encourage you to take the time to read or listen to each of the lessons above.

How has this blog helped make your life better this past year? What changes have you made? What’s your favorite lesson of the past year? Share your thoughts in the comments section below this post.

You can achieve anything in 2011 that is important to you, if you will focus on the little things that matter!

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

Waitley first defined the term by saying, “Your self-esteem is the deep-down, inside-the-skin feeling of your own worth, regardless of how you look or where you came from. It is the feeling of worthiness—just being glad you are you. It’s the feeling of identity—finding something unique about yourself. It has the feeling of competency—if I do something and it works out, it gives me the courage to do something more.”

Continuing, Waitley listed fourteen ways that people can strengthen their self-esteem.

1.  Lead with your hand. When you walk into a room always lead with your hand by offering a firm handshake. This gives you a feeling of self-assurance and indicates to others that you are confident in who you are.

2.  Make eye contact. Making eye contact indicates you are a caring person capable of holding the glass of another person.

3.  Offer Your Name First When meeting people, always introduce yourself by saying your name.

4. Smile. A smile indicates there’s a light on in your window and that you are a caring and sharing person inside.

5. Dress your best. Always dress your best—not necessarily in designer clothing—and take pride in how you look. It’s the outside of the package that draws people in.

6. Ask engaging questions. When you ask questions you are demonstrating your genuine interest in others.

7. Sit in front. When you attend meetings, sit up front and be an active participant.

8. Walk with confidence. Walk with a spring in your step—a certain type of charisma and feeling about yourself.

9.  Use a positive explanatory style. Listen carefully to how people describe themselves, as that often tells a lot about how people feel about themselves. Do they say negative things? Do they make excuses? Always explain yourself with a positive explanatory style.

10. Accept compliments. When you graciously accept compliments, you are accepting yourself for who you are rather than making excuses about yourself.

11. Keep your self-talk positive. We are all our own worse critics. No eyes are as critical as our own. We don’t like pictures and videos of ourselves. There is no voice or set of eyes that has the power to discourage like your own. Look for the good in you, not the bad, and when you look in the mirror count your blessings, not your blemishes.

12.  Look at what you do well. When things aren’t going well, look back at the things you have done well. When we focus on what’s good about ourselves, we feel good about ourselves. When we focus on our faults, mistakes and weaknesses, we naturally feel poorly about ourselves.

13.  Hang around the right people. Our circle of influence is our circle of influencers that have a powerful impact on how we feel about our abilities and ourselves. Hang around people with the same goals, rather than the same problems. Play with better golfers and bowlers. Spend your time with people who have been more successful in the same fields.

14. Expect good things from yourself. You will not do anything or reach any goal you don’t expect to achieve. Our expectations are at the root of all our achievements, and our achievements have a profound impact on how we view and feel about ourselves.

I encourage you to print out Denis Waitley’s list of ways to improve your self-esteem and read the linked Little Things Matter posts that edify his ideas. I then challenge you to be intentional about implementing each of them into your daily lives.

As you focus on building your self-esteem, remember the wise words from Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

When you concentrate on positive actions and attitudes, not only will you achieve greater personal and professional success, but you will also enjoy the powerful side effect of an improved self-image.

_______

* Denis Waitley has trained people from every walk of life, including Apollo astronauts and U.S Olympic athletes. He has sold more than 10 million audio programs and has written 15 books including two best sellers: Seeds of Greatness and Psychology of Winning.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #26 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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10 Ways to Build Your Self-Image (Part 2)

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If you are not growing in this competitive work environment, you are losing ground to your competitors. Living a status quo life where you are not pushing yourself to improve will likely have negative consequences. Over time your market value will decline, you will lose your edge, your self-confidence will take a dive, and people who are hungrier than you will replace you.

In Brian Tracy’s foreword to my book, Little Things Matter, he said, “We are living in a turbulent and challenging world today. And, if anything, the achievement of the success you desire will be more difficult and challenging in the months and years ahead than it has ever been before. You need everything possible going for you if you are going to survive and thrive in the ‘new reality’ in which we live today.”

A close friend, who’s a highly successful money manager sent me an email in response to Tuesday’s post How Much Money Do You Need to Retire? He wrote, “For those people who have not saved for their retirement, the clock is ticking. Incomes are shrinking and the expenses you can’t control (taxes, fees, inflation, etc.) are the ones that are going to hurt everyone in the wealth-building process. The best option for those who want to enjoy a comfortable retirement is to focus on growing their income NOW.”

Building Your Income

If you are serious about growing yourself and building your market value, my best advice is this:

1.  Identify, focus on, and master the little things related to your job description.

2.  Identify, focus on, and master the little things that make you a better person.

Let’s take a close look at both.

Mastering the Little Things Related to Your Job Description

Regardless of whether you are a business owner, an independent contractor, or an employee, you have core responsibilities that must be fulfilled for you to earn an income.

Do you have a written job description provided by your employer? If so, review it and evaluate how well you are performing each of your responsibilities. Think of ways you can improve.

If you don’t have a written job description, write your own. Make a list of all your basic responsibilities. This includes the things you are expected to do—the tasks you are paid to do. Identify the little things you can do that will improve your performance. Then add to your list the unassigned, unexpected little extra things you can do to enhance your value.

As an example, volunteering to help a co-worker or picking up a dirty coffee cup in the parking lot. Remember that every little thing you do beyond your designated duties makes you a more valued person to your company and community.

As you go through this process, write down every point that comes to mind. Set a goal to make a list of 100 things. Break the big tasks down into little things. Become aware of all the things you must do, and then strive for excellence as you perform them.

Post this question on the wall of your workspace: “How can I perform my responsibilities at a higher level today?” Read it daily and continue to look for ways to improve whatever you do.

I would also suggest asking your employer and respected co-workers for their advice on where you can improve. It takes courage, but what you learn may be the most important thing you can do to increase your value.

Mastering the Little Things That Make You a Better Person

Far too often people focus exclusively on the things they need to do to achieve their goals and overlook who they need to become to be worthy of achieving their goals.

Jim Rohn, one of my favorite teachers, said, “For your life to get better, you must get better.”

Brian Tracy said, “To achieve what you’ve never achieved before, you must become someone you’ve never been before.”

Most people in the U.S are simply trading hours for dollars and doing the minimum to get by. I see fewer than 5 percent of the people putting any real effort into growing themselves and less than 1 percent who are striving for excellence to be the best at what they do.

Growing personally is something you can do today to build your value. It doesn’t require going back to school, taking risks, or changing careers. It just requires that you have the desire to grow and become a better person.

The benefits go far beyond the money. You will feel great about the person you are becoming. Your energy and motivation will grow resulting in increased productivity. You will be more likable, respected, and influential. You will be more fulfilled and your life’s journey will become more enjoyable.

I challenge you to step up your game by mastering the little things that increase your value in the market place. Remember, income follows value, so if you want to increase your income, you must first increase your value. Make this the year that you push yourself harder than you have ever pushed before. Will you do it?

If you are truly committed to growing and developing yourself, I highly suggest reading my 280-page hardcover book or listening to my AudioBook, Little Things Matter. It contains more than 100 lessons that have helped me average over one million dollars a year in earnings for 20+ years.

Performing your basic responsibilities well is only the beginning. Going the extra mile at your job and doing the little things to become a better person will make you stand out from the crowd in your field and in your community.

In the comment area below, please share how you plan to increase your value to the marketplace or become a better person.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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Step 1. Seek to Understand the Problem and its Cause

The first step in addressing any challenge is to make sure you clearly understand the problem and its cause. By gaining a clear understanding of the problem, you will be better prepared to find the right solution.

It is also important to backtrack. Look at the decisions you have made that led to the situation in which you find yourself.  Refuse to blame anyone. You are where you are largely based on your decisions.

If we don’t take the time to understand what decisions led to the problem, we will likely repeat them.

Step 2. List Your Options

Once you have a clear understanding of the issue and its cause, the next step is to consider all your options.

• If you lost your job, you have two obvious options. One to wallow in self-pity, play the victim role, and blame someone or something; or two, suck it up and get your butt out looking for a new job.

• If you said or did something that hurt another person, you have two evident options. One, make excuses and try to justify your actions; or two, apologize, ask for forgiveness, and restore the relationship.

Whatever challenges you face, there are always options to address them. Take some quiet time and consider ALL your options, as well as the pros and cons of each. You might want to review the best post I have written on the subject: How to Make Critical Decisions

Step 3. Make a Decision

The fastest way to get out of your taxing situation is to make a decision as to what you are going to do about it. When I reflect on my challenging times, the most difficult part of each experience was not knowing what to do. This is the danger zone. Because you are not making any forward progress, you are prolonging your pain and damaging your self-image and attitude.

A close friend, who is going through a challenging period right now, called me yesterday for some advice. She explained the situation and said, “The most difficult part is not knowing what to do.”

Together we reviewed all her options. After selecting the best three options, we discussed the pros and cons of each one. Then I challenged her to make a decision and not to allow this process to drag on any longer.

When I spoke with her later in the day, she had made her decision. I could tell she felt better and was smiling by the tone in her voice. By making the decision, she was one step closer to putting the challenge behind her.

Step 4. Put Together Your Plan

Once you decide what you are going to do, your next step is to put together your plan. Look at your decision as a goal; put together a plan to achieve that goal. Your plan is as simple as writing down the steps you will take and the things you will do to achieve your desired outcome.

Depending on the severity of your situation, it may be wise to review your plan with your spouse or a respected friend. The more refined your plan is, the greater your odds will be of achieving your goal in the shortest period of time.

Step 5. Execute Your Plan

After you have your plan outlined, use your personal initiative and discipline to execute it immediately. When you procrastinate and delay executing your plan, you are making a decision to drag out your pain longer.

If you are going through a challenging time in your life, I encourage you to go through this process. Think about it. What do you have to lose?  Make the decision right now that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH; you are going to take control of the situation and bring an end to it.

At times, you might feel like you are trudging through quicksand, but don’t stop. The fastest way to get through this period is by working through it—not avoiding it or procrastinating. We all go through difficult, painful times. Some wallow in them and play the victim role; others accept responsibility, put together a plan, and fight through them.

I urge you to grab yourself by the collar with a tight fist, look in the mirror, and accept the challenge to step up to the plate with courage and conviction.

There is a positive side to facing those painful, challenging times. They provide us the greatest opportunity for growth. If you are thoughtful as to how you navigate through life’s challenges, you will grow and become wiser from each one you experience.

What has helped you work through difficult periods in your life?  Please share them in the comment section below this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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Are You an Optimist or a Pessimist?

Yesterday, we celebrated our 25^th wedding anniversary.  We can’t believe we are old enough to have been married for 25 years.  Recognizing the importance of building a successful marriage, we want to share with you our top 25 marriage tips. The following points are not listed in any specific order.  It is our hope that these tips will help you enjoy a more rewarding marriage.

We recorded the podcast version of this post and we’ve added commentary that’s not included in the written post.  Click here to listen to this podcast.

1. Marry the right person. There is only one way you will know if the person you are dating is the right person to marry and that is by spending time together. We recommend dating at least one year before getting engaged. We dated for four years before getting married. Once we got married, there were no surprises.

2. Make your marriage your top priority. If you are married, there is nothing that should take precedence over your marriage and that includes your children and career.

3. NEVER say the word divorce. If you are committed to building a long-term healthy marriage, make a vow to each other that you will never say the word divorce or anything else that would leave the other person to believe you are not 100% committed to your marriage.

4. Don’t argue over petty things. When we first got married we argued over every little ridiculous thing.  It made our lives miserable.  We then made the decision that we would no longer argue about meaningless things. Now when one of us bring up an issue, the other person takes it seriously.

5. Make a weekly date a priority. This is HUGE!  Dress up, get out of the house and enjoy a special time together.  During these times together show an interest in the things that are important to each other and avoid talking about subjects that could create tension.

6. Find at least one 30-minute block of time to spend together each day. It could be in the morning before work or in the evening. During this designated time, discuss what’s going on in each of your lives. We all have a lot going on, but if your marriage is a priority, spending time together should take precedence over all other activities.

7. Serve one another. Be intentional. We are both very thoughtful about the little things we do to serve each other. This is about putting the other person’s needs before your own. The more your serve and meet the needs of your spouse, the more your spouse will serve and meet your needs.

8. Communicate. Effective communication is critical for any marriage to last.  This is especially important during difficult periods.  Learn your spouse’s communication style and the way he or she needs to hear what you have to say.

9. Freedom in intimacy. You know what we mean.  Make it a priority.

10. Take care of yourself. This includes everything from your physical appearance to the clothes you wear. Do your part to be an attractive mate.

11. Don’t use absolutes. This means not saying things like, “You always…” and “You Never…”

12. Be considerate. This means everything from cleaning up your mess to specifically avoiding doing or saying things that you know irritate your spouse.

13. Understand it takes hard work. Building a marriage of 25 years is not easy.  We have had some very difficult periods.  We have even had to go to marriage counseling to work through difficult periods.  Know there will be challenging times and when they occur, work through them with a genuine desire to improve your marriage.

14. Be Encouraging. When your spouse is going through a hard period of time, starting a new endeavor, or working on an important project, be there to encourage and support him or her. You should be your spouse’s number one fan.

15. Always show respect to each other. This includes the way you communicate to each other, they way you talk about your spouse to others and the way you treat your spouse.

16. Make family decisions together. We are a team and we make all family related decisions as a team.

17. Leave your work at work. When you come home from work, resist the temptation to talk about work, unless your spouse wants to hear about it. Instead, focus your time together on subjects of interest to everyone.

18. Be the best parent you can be. We make all parenting decisions together.  We are intentional about our parenting.  Your spouse’s love and respect for you will grow when he or she sees you loving and parenting to the best of your ability.

19. Give your spouse freedom. We give each other the freedom to do things that give us pleasure independently.  Of course, we don’t take advantage of it, but giving your spouse the opportunity to do the things he or she enjoys is important.

20. Stay out of debt. Financial stress is the number one cause of divorce. Sit down together and create a budget that you will both stay committed to and don’t allow yourselves to justify spending more money than you make.

21. Continue growing as people. We are both committed to learning, growing and achieving our personal best. This includes growing as a spouse, parent and individual.  As one of us gets better, it helps the other person get better, just as iron sharpens iron.

22. Love your spouse according to his or love language. Read Joy’s post titled, Loving People the Way They Need to be Loved to learn more about the significance of love languages.

23. Show your appreciation. In a marriage, it’s easy to take things for granted. Tell your spouse how much you appreciate the little things he or she does for you. Cleaning the house, picking up the dry cleaning, walking the dog, doing the laundry, cooking dinner for the family, and fixing the leaky faucet are just a few examples.  Don’t let one good deed go unnoticed.

24. Be honest with each other. Once trust is lost, it is difficult to regain and this adage is especially true in marriage. Being honest also includes being honest with your feelings.

25. No holding grudges. After you work through an issue, move on and don’t harbor ill feelings. We also strongly encourage you to not bring up past challenges. The past is the past.  It’s been years since either of us has brought up a negative issue from the past.

For those of you who are married, we want to encourage you to review this list with your spouse and discuss the steps you can both take to make to improve your marriage.

If you are reading this post and you are not yet married, we strongly recommend pre-marital counseling.  We suggested this to both of our married children and their spouses and they will readily tell you that it was valuable, enlightening, and set the foundation for the marriage they now enjoy.

How long have you been married?  Do you have some tips you can share with the LTM community?  Please tell us in the comment section below this post.

You can enjoy an amazing marriage, if you will focus on the little things that go into building a successful marriage.

About the Authors: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. Joy is his lovely wife. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

Get to Know the Family and Check Out Some Related Posts:

Loving People the Way They Need to Be Loved (By Joy Smith)

Connecting with Family (By Don Smith, Todd’s father)

What I’ve Learned as a Young Entrepreneur (By Gerrid Smith, Todd and Joy’s oldest son)

Taking a Good Look in the Mirror of Truth (By Jessica Smith, Gerrid’s wife)

The Ripple Effect of a Smile (By Danielle Cearbaugh, Todd and Joy’s oldest daughter)

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Yourself (By Josh Cearbaugh, Danielle’s husband and owner of Catalyst R.O.I.)

Push Yourself (By Jake Smith, Todd and Joy’s 17 year old son)

Winning or Losing an Argument (By Hannah Smith, Todd and Joy’s 15 year old daughter)

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The process of setting goals helps bring clarity to the things that are truly important to you. Absent a clear picture of what you want to achieve in your life, you will be left wandering aimlessly through life like a ship without a rudder, without ever achieving anything worthwhile.

When you set clearly defined goals and create a plan to achieve them, you will begin to live your life by design, not default. You will feel motivated and empowered.  Your self-confidence will grow and you will begin to feel like you are in control of your life. When you are crystal clear on what you want to achieve, you’ll be able to focus your efforts on the things that will help you reach those goals.

Six Basic Elements to Goal Setting

1. They must be important to you—Goals are not casual wishes and things you simply desire. The only way you will achieve any goal is if the goal is truly important to you. If the goal is only slightly or moderately important, it’s highly unlikely that you will follow through and do what is required to achieve it.

2. They must be specific—You must know exactly what you want. Your goals cannot be vague or ambiguous. For example, if you want to lose weight, you would not set a goal to simply lose weight. Instead your goal must be specific; such as I want to lose 30 pounds.

3. They must have deadlines—What is the date or deadline for when you want to have achieved your objective?  If you do not establish a date to achieve your goal, you won’t feel any urgency, you won’t be motivated and you won’t be able to draft an action plan to achieve it.

4. They must be measurable—Whatever it is you want to achieve must be something you can measure.  If you cannot measure your goal, how will you know if you are making any progress towards its achievement?

5. They must be realistic—Goals should make you stretch and push yourself, but they shouldn’t be so high that you set yourself up for failure.  Once you achieve a goal, your confidence will grow and your desire to set and achieve new goals will follow.

6. They must be in writing—Goals are not dreams in the back of your mind that someday you hope to accomplish.  Instead goals are definitive objectives that must be written down and reviewed on a periodic basis.

Goal Setting Categories

To live a balanced life where you enjoy all the benefits life has to offer, goal setting in the following key areas is important.

• Career—What would you like to accomplish in your career? What level of success would you like to achieve? What’s your timing for job advancement?

• Financial—How much money would you like to earn?  How much would you like to save each month?  How much money do you want to have saved by the time you reach retirement?

• Family—What would you like your family life to look like?  What types of things would you like to be able to do with your family? What type of relationship do you want to have with your children?

• Spouse—Do you want to get married?  What kind of relationship would you like to enjoy with your spouse?

• Spiritual—Do you believe in God or some other higher power?  If so, what is your objective to grow yourself and your knowledge in this area?

• Health—How important is your health?  What is your desired weight? What health issues do you need to address?

• Personal—Do you have some personal things that are important to you? Do you want to improve your tennis or golf game, travel to the Great Barrier Reef or remodel your home?

• Social—What types of things do you want to do socially? With whom would you like to develop a better relationship?

Take a few minutes to evaluate some of your most important objectives and if they don’t fit within these categories, create some new ones and add them to the list.

The Goal Setting Process

I’ve used various techniques for goal setting throughout my career but after 30 years I’ve determined that it really comes down to a simple three-step process.

Step 1. Make a list of the categories important to you. Identify the areas of your life where you need to establish goals. Use the category list above and add others that may be unique to your situation.

Step 2. Follow the six basic elements. What are the BIG picture goals that are important for you to achieve?  Make sure they are written, specific, measurable, realistic, and have deadlines.

Step 3. Put together your plan. A well-designed action plan clarifies the things you need to do in order to achieve your goal, outlines a prioritized sequence of steps and serves as a method of measuring your progress to ensure that you are on the right track.  I strongly encourage you to read these two prior blog posts to help you design your plan.

• How to Put Together an Action Plan
• How to Prepare and Plan for New Projects

If you want to feel like you are in control of your life and increase the odds of achieving the things that are most important to you, please take time to complete this exercise. Don’t blow off this lesson. Goal setting is FUNDAMENTAL to achievement.

The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again, but expecting different results. If you are not where you had hoped you would be at this time in your life, then why not take the time to set your goals and put together a plan to achieve them?  What have you got to lose?

What’s more important to you — watching TV, communicating with your friends on Facebook or taking the time to design your future? What you choose to do with your time will tell you the answer.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #32 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)

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