Little Things Matter &#187; Responsibility

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15 Ways to Increase Your Influence in Meetings

Take Control of Your Life by Setting Boundaries

Todd Smith — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 08:45:49 +0000

Do you keep agreeing to do tasks you don’t have time to do? Do you allow people to interrupt you at their whim? Do you allow your children to ignore your requests? Do you allow people to treat you with disrespect?

If you want to experience less stress, enhanced relationships, improved health, and better time management, then you must learn to set boundaries. Learn to take control of your life.

When you don’t stand up for yourself and set boundaries, negative things happen: people take advantage of you; life becomes chaotic; you feel abused; your strong self-esteem fades away; and you struggle to find joy and fulfillment in your life.

Here Are 12 Responses You Can Use to Set Boundaries With . . .

1. An angry person. You could say, “You are a valued customer, but I will not tolerate this type of verbal abuse. If this is how you are going to treat me, I need to hang up the phone.”

2. Callers phoning you at home during your family time. “From 6:00 until 8:00 is the time I have allocated to be with my family. If you call during that window, I will return your call after 8:00.”

3. Family or friends who often interrupt you at work. “I want to honor my employer during the hours I am being paid to do my work. Unless something is an emergency, please text me and I will call you during lunch or after I leave the office.”

4. Your children texting their friends during family time. “Our family time is sacred. When we are spending time together, please leave your phones in your bedrooms.”

5. People who ask you to accept additional tasks. You could say, “While this organization and the people in it are very important to me, I can’t make any new commitments until I fulfill my current list of responsibilities.”

6. Someone who is being disrespectful. “I value you as a friend, but I cannot continue in this relationship if this is how you are going to treat me.”

7. Your parents who keep prying into your personal affairs. “Mom and Dad, I love you, but I respectfully ask that you not continue to probe into my personal life.”

8. An adult child who is always asking to borrow money. You might say, “I love you and want the best for you, but I will not be loaning you any more money. It’s important that you take responsibility for your own finances and learn to live within your means.”

9. Someone who keeps commenting on your weight. “I appreciate your concern for my weight and health; however, I ask that you please stop making critical comments about my weight.”

10. A person who makes sarcastic and cutting comments. You could say, “I don’t know if you realize it, but your sarcastic comments are not kind, considerate or respectful. If you value our relationship, I ask that you stop making those unnecessary jabs at me.

11. Your co-workers or colleagues who are constantly interrupting you while you’re working. “When there is something you would like to discuss with me (unless it’s an emergency) let’s schedule an appointment to talk via _____(email). This will allow me to focus on my work and to give you my full attention during our scheduled appointments.”

12. Your spouse or business partner who is making decisions without you. You could say, “I admire your ability to quickly make decisions; however, when those decisions impact me, I would appreciate being included in the decision-making process. Is that fair enough?”

Other boundaries could include such things as refusing to accept calls while you are with other people, taking time to exercise regardless of how busy you may be, putting a limit on the time you will spend watching TV, and refusing to engage in certain types of conversations.

Learning How to Set Boundaries

The first step in learning to set boundaries is self-awareness. For example, pay close attention to the situations when you lose energy, feel stress or guilt, get upset, or want to cry. Begin by identifying the things that bother you.

As you set boundaries with people, always be respectful, control your emotions, and use a respectful tone. You may feel uncomfortable at first, but as you begin to see the power of setting boundaries and the freedom it gives you, setting them will get easier.

When you do set boundaries, don’t feel like you need to defend, debate, or detail your feelings. Instead, clearly explain your position; be firm, gracious and direct.

If someone apologizes when you set a boundary, simple say, “Thank you, I knew you’d understand and I appreciate you honoring my request.”

Caution: Make sure the boundaries you set are highly important to you. If you are constantly setting boundaries, people may get tired of living by your rules.

When you have set a boundary, you need to stand firmly behind it. Stay strong. When faced with resistances or repeat occurrences restate your position. If you give in, people won’t respect your boundaries and you will open the door for future abuse.

If abusive behavior continues, consider severing the relationship. No one has the right to take advantage of you or intrude upon your lifestyle. Sometimes you need to take a step back to go forward.

Setting boundaries enhances your personal power, frees you from abuse, and gives you greater control your life.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

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15 Ways to Increase Your Influence in Meetings

Todd Smith — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 08:45:39 +0000

Meeting with groups of people is something we all experience. Whether it’s board meetings, business meetings, office meetings, church meetings, or small group meetings, you can do some simple things to build your personal brand and have your words carry more weight.

1. Learn about the participants. If you are attending an important meeting where people will be present whom you have not yet met, learn about them in advance. Google their names, read their websites, review their LinkedIn profiles, or whatever options are available to you. How would you view someone who took the time to learn about you in advance?

2. Dress appropriately. The way you appear in meetings will impact how you are viewed—both at the subconscious and conscious level. When you take pride in your appearance, people will regard you more seriously and will place more value in what you say.

3. Come prepared. Before attending a meeting, review the agenda and come prepared for the discussion. Very few things reflect as negatively on meeting participants as when they are unprepared. If you are part of the presentation, come organized and ready to deliver your message with excellence.

4. Arrive early. When you show up to meetings early, you will likely feel relaxed, comfortable, and in control. Rushing into a meeting at the last minute never feels good. Being there as people arrive allows you to greet and connect with each person individually. Showing an interest in people before the meeting makes them more receptive to what you share during the meeting.

5. Pick a good seat. If appropriate, ask the meeting’s organizer where he or she would prefer you to sit. If the seating is open, put some thought into where you would want to sit. As an example, if you will be sitting at a rectangular table, sit at the end of the table. Not only will this allow you to easily see each person at the table, but the end seat is often associated with authority.

6. Conceal your phone. Put your phone on the silent mode when entering any meeting and put it out of sight. Looking at your phone during a meeting is not only disrespectful, but it is also an indication that the meeting is not your priority.

7. Listen with your whole body. One of the most effective ways to demonstrate your respect for others is to listen with interest. Give your full attention to the person speaking. Make 100 percent eye contact with each person as they speak, lean forward, and listen carefully to what they say.

8. Never interrupt. When people are talking, give them the courtesy of finishing before sharing your thoughts. As you listen, don’t give any indication that you have something to say. If you do want to contribute something, wait for the speaker to finish. If everyone is jumping into the conversation, just signal to the person in charge that you have something to share, and then wait until you are called upon.

9. Think before you speak. One of the fastest ways to lose people’s respect in meetings is to waste their time with rambling thoughts. Ask yourself, “What is the best way for my point to be easily understood using the fewest number of words possible?” People who aren’t constantly running their mouths and who are thoughtful in what they say are those who earn people’s respect.

10. Participate. If you are part of a meeting, it’s important to be an active participant. You can’t gain influence if you aren’t contributing value. It could be asking a question, volunteering to take the lead on one of the points discussed, clarifying a point, or simply supporting an idea.

11. Take notes. If a topic is being discussed that falls under your area of responsibility, make notes. Don’t rely on your memory. Taking notes also indicates that you understand what’s being said and are taking your responsibility seriously.

12. Don’t be a distraction. Whispering to the person next to you, sending notes around the table, or leaving the room to use the restroom can cause a disruption of concentration for the speaker as well as the audience. It indicates to everyone that the subject being discussed is not important to you.

13. Include everyone when talking. When you speak, make it a point to share eye contact with each member of the group. This does not mean scanning the group. It means being intentional to make sure each person feels included.

14. Disagree respectfully. If you have a concern about something being discussed, start by asking questions to better understand the opposing point of view. If you are still concerned, share your position in a humble and respectful manner. If things don’t go your way, control your emotions and body language.

15. Don’t check out. If you are part of a meeting and a specific agenda item doesn’t impact you, stay attentive and involved. I can scan a room and tell who’s interested in the discussion and who’s not and so can every other intelligent person in the room.

If you will follow these 15 tips at your next meeting, people’s respect and admiration for you will grow, your influence among the participants will be felt, your self-confidence will grow, and your value to the market will increase.

What tips can you share on this subject? What are the things people do that bug you at meetings? What are the characteristics of the people you respect at meetings? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below this post.

How you conduct yourself in meetings plays an important role in the influence you build within an organization.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #20 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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The Growing Importance of Soft Skills

Todd Smith — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 08:45:43 +0000

We are living in an era of constant change. Because businesses are becoming less dictatorial and more social, the understanding and value of soft skills to an organization are growing daily.

In Top 10 Soft Skills to Master, I touched on a couple reasons why soft skills are important, but those were just the tip of the iceberg. The more I look at the distinguishing traits of people who are advancing their careers, the more convinced I am that soft skills are more important today than ever before.

Soft Skills versus Hard Skills

“Soft skills” is a term relating to a collection of personal, positive attributes and competencies that enhance your relationships, job performance, and value to the market.

Soft skills include your ability to listen well, communicate effectively, be positive, handle conflict, accept responsibility, show respect, build trust, work well with others, manage time effectively, accept criticism, work under pressure, be likable, and demonstrate good manners.

“Hard skills” are specific, trainable abilities necessary to carry out the professional or technical requirements of a job or occupation.

Hard skills would include knowledge, machine operation, computer procedures, safety standards, financial systems, technical analysis, and sales administration. Unlike soft skills, hard skills are typically easy to observe, quantify, and measure.

Let me give you an example of the two kinds of skills. If you listened to the Super Bowl on Sunday, you would have heard comments made about Walter Payton and the award given in his honor. Payton is remembered as the most prolific running back in the history of American football, but he was also known for his kind, compassionate, and humorous character.

“Sweetness” became Payton’s nickname early in his career, and the announcers mentioned it on Sunday. In addition to his “hard” football skills, his “soft” personality skills won him an enduring reputation.

Soft Skills in the Work Place

More and more corporations around the world recognize that, in order to gain a competitive advantage, they need to make sure their people know how to handle themselves at work and how to relate with their customers and peers.

It’s often said that hard skills will get you an interview but you need soft skills to get and keep the job. It’s no longer enough to be an expert in a field of knowledge. Competition is fierce; it’s your soft skills that make you stand out.

If you’re in sales, soft skills are critical for survival. As a Realtor, 92% of all sellers to whom I presented my services selected me over my competitors. It was my soft skills that were responsible for this success.

Soft skills aren’t just important in the obvious positions that deal with customers. They are important for every person in an organization. Take IT professionals as an example. When they acquire soft skills, better relationships are built between other business units resulting in increased productivity.

Look at the people at the top in your profession and ask yourself, “Is it their hard skills or soft skills that got them to the top?” If you define their personal brand, you will quickly realize that the people at the top of the pay scale are those who excel in their soft skills.

Soft Skills Have Broad Application

Developing interpersonal skills affects all of your life—far beyond your career.

Your relationship with your spouse, children, and friends will deepen.
You will attract like-minded people into your life.
You will gain people’s respect and admiration.
Your example will teach others how they can be more successful.
You will feel that you have more control of your life.

In addition to the long list of ways your life will be enhanced, you will be making this world a better place. Never under estimate the impact your positive example can have on people’s lives, both directly and indirectly.

Building Soft Skills

The time you spend developing your soft skills will never be wasted. Even if you change careers five times, the soft skills you learn today can always be used to set you apart in whatever you do with your life.

I want to challenge each of you to start focusing on your soft skills. Here are some simple ways to get started.

1. Start doing the little things you already know you should do. You know many of the things you should be doing to develop better relationships, increase your productivity, and be more responsible. So do them.

2. Become a keen observer of others. If Joe got the promotion over Pete, identify the reasons. When you are drawn to someone, ask yourself why. When you begin to trust someone, pinpoint the reasons. If you received excellent service from someone, think about what this person did that impressed you. There is a lot you can learn by watching others.

3. Start living in a state of awareness. Turn off autopilot and start making conscious decisions as you move through your day, especially when interacting with other people. Positive change begins with awareness.

4. Become a student of personal and professional success. If you have a genuine desire to improve your soft skills, start consuming content on the subject. Most of the content in my book and this blog pertains to your soft skills. Start by reading Top 10 Soft Skills to Master in 2011. Check out my favorite resource—Success Magazine.

5. Be intentional every day. Getting better won’t come without effort. While some of the things will come naturally to you, others will require an intentional effort.

The great thing about building your soft skills is that you can acquire them on your own. Regardless of your background, gender or education, developing your soft skills will make you stand out from the crowd in whatever you choose to do.

To advance your life personally or professionally, you must put an emphasis on developing your soft skills.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #25 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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Becoming a Disciplined Person

Todd Smith — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 09:45:04 +0000

Self-discipline is a pattern of behavior where you choose to do what you know you should do, rather than what you want to do. It’s the inner power that pushes you to get out of bed to exercise rather than sleeping in. It is the assertion of willpower over more basic desires and is synonymous with self-control.

It includes having the personal initiative to get started and the stamina to persevere. Being disciplined gives you the strength to withstand hardships and difficulties, whether physical, emotional or mental. It allows forgoing immediate satisfaction, in order to gain something better, but which requires effort and time.

Discipline is one of the cornerstones to living a successful and fulfilling life and something we should all strive to master.

Benefits of becoming a disciplined person

When you are consistent in doing the things you know you should do, when you know you should do them, here are the benefits you will enjoy:

You will achieve your goals. When you are consistent in doing the things you know you should do, your odds of achieving your goals will be dramatically increased.

You self-esteem will soar. Every time you push yourself to do something you know you should do, you are building your self-esteem.

People’s respect for you will grow. This includes everyone from your spouse to your employer who witnesses your efforts.

You will influence the lives of others. Every good and right thing you do, influences the lives of those who are watching and can have a ripple effect on future generations.

You will see greater success in all areas of your life. Jim Rohn said, “For every disciplined effort there is a multiple return.” Think about it.

You will enjoy a more rewarding and satisfying life.

Downside of lacking discipline

When you consistently neglect to do the things you know you should do, when they should be done, here’s the downside:

You won’t achieve your goals. I’ve never met anyone who achieved any worthwhile goal who lacked discipline.

You won’t feel good about yourself. No matter how hard you try to justify your actions, you know what’s right and wrong. Lying to yourself only makes it worse.

You’ll lose the respect of those who are dependent upon your actions.

Making the decision to become a disciplined person may prove to be one of the most important decisions you make because of its powerful influence on every part of your life.

A commitment to discipline

The first step in becoming a disciplined person is to make a commitment to yourself that from this day forward you are going to do the things you know you should do, when you should do them. As part of this commitment, you cannot allow yourself to make excuses or justify not doing what you should do.

If you struggle with discipline, start small. It’s how we all got started. Start by taking out the overflowing garbage, answering an email, changing the light bulb, or cleaning your bathroom. Start today doing all the little things you know you should do, but don’t feel like doing.

When you need to do things that make you uncomfortable, remember the wise words of leadership expert Dr. John Maxwell who said, “If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.”

When things come up that are scary, heed the experience of Dale Carnegie who said, “Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”

Becoming a discipline person will likely be the hardest thing you do, but it can also become the most rewarding. All successes in every part of your life are built on the foundation of discipline.

I want to challenge you to start doing the little things you know you should do. As you do, recognize yourself for each thing you do. With constant awareness and sustained effort you can actually train yourself to become disciplined.

This is not the first time I have blogged on the importance of discipline, and it won’t be the last. Of the over 1000 little things on my list, nothing has a higher dollar value to the market than discipline.

Discipline is one of the key differentiators separating those who live successful and fulfilling lives from those who don’t.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #25 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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Be Present in Your Verbal Communications

Todd Smith — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 09:45:16 +0000

Our relationships influence every area of our lives. From the friends we attract to the promotions we receive, all of our personal and professional success is built on relationships. This is why it is critical that we do the little things that nourish and strengthen our relationships with others.

Every day we interact with people. During these conversations, it is important that we be fully present and give people our undivided attention. If we aren’t careful, we can be distracted and run the risk of being viewed as rude, inconsiderate, and disrespectful.

Ten Subtle Ways to Be Present During a Conversation.

Using Electronic Devices

1. Avoid multitasking when on the phone. People aren’t stupid; they can tell when we are trying to do several jobs simultaneously. There are very few things that are a greater turn-off to me than when I am talking on the phone with people who are distracted because they are trying to multitask. When this happens, I pause and tell them I will wait until they are finished.

2. Don’t answer the phone when speaking with someone. During a conversation, whether it’s in-person or over the phone, we should resist the temptation to answer an incoming call. When we do answer the phone, we are implying that this call is more important than they are. The only exception for me is if it’s my wife or an urgent call I was expecting. During these rare occurrences, I apologize and quickly resume our conversation.

3. Avoid scanning your phone for messages. When we are with people and pull out our mobile devices to scan for messages, we are basically saying, “I’m done talking with you, let me see what else I have going on.” When this is done in meetings, we are saying, “This discussion is of no interest to me, what else can I accomplish while I sit through this boring presentation.”

4. Take out the Bluetooth device when having in-person conversations. Remove your ear device and give your full attention to the person with whom you are speaking. Don’t make people think you are waiting for your phone to ring, or that you are trying to listen to someone else.

5. Give your full attention to the person speaking. A friend told me of his experience with this very subject. He said, “I knocked on my daughter’s door to talk with her about something important. She kept one eye on her computer while we talked and acted like she wanted me to hurry up and leave. I have seen this in the workplace and probably have done this or worse myself in the past.” Ouch! His comment hit me right between the eyes because I am just as guilty as his daughter. Don’t let the computer or the television destroy your communication.

Concerning Daily Encounters

6. Avoid looking over people’s shoulders at social events. Have you ever been engaged in a conversation with someone who kept looking over your shoulder at other people? How did it make you feel? When we are in the middle of a conversation with people, let’s give them our full attention and use self-control not to look around.

7. Keep your body language involved in the conversation. This past week I attended several group meetings. Some were in a boardroom, some at dinner, and others in small group settings. In each meeting I could tell who had an interest in the topic and who didn’t. During a very important discussion, one gal made it clear through her body language that she wasn’t interested. I’m certain that she had no clue as to the signs she was giving off, but they were obvious to those of us involved.

8. Strive to be present in both body and mind in every conversation.

My wife has accused me more than once of not being mentally present when she has been talking. In our fast-paced world, it’s easy for our minds to wander off, especially if the topic is not of personal interest. To avoid this, be intentional about giving those people with whom you are conversing your full attention.

9. Pause and focus on the person you are greeting. Have you ever been introduced to someone at a social event or business meeting who seemed totally preoccupied with some activity beyond you? Remember how you felt the next time you meet someone. Take 5–10 seconds to smile, make eye contact, repeat his/her name, and offer a sincere greeting.

10. Acknowledge people. Take yourself off autopilot and be intentional about acknowledging people wherever you are. If you are an introvert, like me, this requires an extra effort. Whether it’s your fellow students, co-workers, or neighbors, show people they are important by smiling, saying hi, waving or whatever is appropriate.

When we intentionally give our full attention to those with whom we are interacting, we show through our actions that they are valued and important. When we show respect to people in this manner, our relationships improve, we feel better about ourselves and our value to the market grows.

Let me encourage you to be intentional to give 100% of your attention to those with whom you are speaking.

There is no better way to show your interest in people than by giving them your undivided attention.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #24 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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10 Tips to Getting Out of Debt

Todd Smith — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 09:45:12 +0000

Are you tired of carrying the stress and pressure of being in debt? If so, are you willing to put together a plan and do whatever it takes to get out of debt?

Here are ten tips that will help you get out of debt.

1. Get motivated. The only way you will get out of debt is if getting out of debt is important to you. Make a list of the reasons you want to get out of debt. Ideas might include: it’s putting pressure on your marriage; it’s putting stress on your body; you want to live a financially responsible life; you want to be able to put your children through college; you want to save for retirement.

2. Understand your debts. Identify and list all your debts showing the total due, the interest rate, finances charges, late fees, and over-the-limit charges. Then total all your debt, finance charges, and fees. By understanding your debt and associated fees, you will be able to make better decisions.

3. Create a budget. Putting together and living by a household budget is critical to getting out of debt. Furthermore, it is part of living a financially responsible life. If you don’t know how to put together a budget, click the link above and/or seek help from a respected friend or family member.

4. Log every penny you spend. Carry a small notebook you can put into your pocket or purse, or use your mobile device to log everything you buy, even if it is a $.50 candy bar. As you spend money, ask yourself “Is this absolutely necessary?” or “Is there a less expensive option?” At the end of the month, go over your expenditures and look for things you can eliminate the following month.

5. Negotiate with your creditors. Call your creditors, explain your situation and ask for their help. I have heard countless stories from people I know who have been successful in negotiating lower interest rates, having late fees reversed, skipping payments, and lowering monthly payments. You will often be amazed at what creditors will do to help you, if you just ask.

6. Increase your income. If you are working less than 40 hours a week, consider all options available to increase your hours. If you are already working 40 hours a week, consider a part-time job or side business. Above all, focus on increasing the value you bring to the market. As you build your value, your income will follow.

7. Use cash instead of credit cards. Keep one card and use it only for emergencies or major necessities, such as your furnace or air conditioner breaking down. Put your credit card in a safe place and make a commitment not to use it for everyday purchases. Do not accept credit increases or cards from other credit card companies.

8. Change your habits. Take a minute and consider some of your expensive habits such as eating out, having an afternoon latte, drinking a diet soda every day, browsing through stores, or drinking with your friends after work. These little expenditures add up to big dollars.

9. Pay off your debt with the highest interest rate first. Select the bill with the highest interest rate and pay it first. When it is paid off, close the account so you are not tempted to use it again. Continue this process, one account at a time, until all your accounts are paid in full. When using this method, measure your progress by watching your overall debt decrease.

There are other methods, such as the Debt-snowball Method, but paying your debts with the highest interest rates first is the smartest.

10. Shop smarter. Stop paying retail prices for anything you buy. Start shopping at discount stores, thrift stores, and resale shops. Use shopping comparison websites such as Biz Rate, Price Grabber and Shop Zilla and make sure you are getting the best price for what you are buying.

If you are in debt, I challenge you to make the decision right now that you are going to put together a plan to eliminate your debt. Let today be the day you say, “Enough is enough, I am going to take control of my finances and get out of debt.”

If you are married or living with someone, let me encourage you to go through this process together. It is critical that you are both equally committed to ridding yourself of your debt. As you begin implementing your plan, you must hold yourself accountable and not allow exceptions.

If you are overwhelmed and not sure what to do, seek the help of a trained professional. Ask a respected friend, family member, or your accountant for a referral. You can also check out debt consolidation blog to learn what other people are doing to reduce their debt.

Do you have some practical ideas that can help people reduce their debt? What creative things have you been able to do to reduce your debt? Please share your insights in the comment section below this post.

You can’t control your life if you can’t control how you spend your money.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #24 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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12 Ways to Make Holiday Dinners Happy Events

Todd Smith — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 09:45:43 +0000

Since you will be celebrating Christmas and New Years during the next two weekends with family and friends, I want to give you a few timely reminders on what I call party etiquette. When my family makes sure to do these things at other people’s homes, our efforts are noticed and appreciated.

Consider these 12 little things when you’re invited to someone’s home this holiday season.

1. RSVP—When you receive an invitation to an event, make it a priority to respond to the invitation ASAP even if you cannot attend. When people send invitations they expect a response in a timely manner. Don’t let your name appear on the unconfirmed list and have your host continue to wonder whether or not you are coming.

2. Offer to come early—If you have ever hosted an event at your home, you know the amount of planning and preparation that goes into making it special for everyone. If the people hosting the event are close friends or family, offer to come early to help with the set up. Even if they don’t accept your offer, they will appreciate your asking.

3. Call to see if they need anything—When attending a party with family or close friends, give the host a call before you leave your home and ask if there is anything you can pick up on the way. (A bag of ice or coffee creamer is often needed.) It’s a nice way to show you care and are willing to help.

4. Arrive on time—Always strive to show up on time for personal gatherings. If it’s a dinner engagement, you certainly don’t want to be the person everyone’s waiting for while the food grows cold. Being on time shows your respect for their schedule. At the same time, don’t come early or you may catch your host unprepared for your early arrival.

5. Take a hostess gift—When you are invited to attend a party or dinner engagement at someone’s home, it’s a nice practice to take a little gift for the host/hostess. It could be wine, candy or a fruitcake, an inspirational book, an inexpensive floral arrangement, or something as simple as a card. A little gift shows your appreciation for the effort put into the event and for being included.

6. Lend a helping hand—When you arrive, ask if there is anything you can do to help. Often there are last minute things that need to be done and your offer will be appreciated. If there’s nothing to do, you can bet your offer will make an impression.

7. Be friendly—Make it a point to meet and greet each guest. A warm smile, a firm handshake if appropriate, and a comment of personal interest as you repeat his or her name will help everyone feel welcome.

8. Participate in conversation—Be a respectful listener and observer. When others are speaking, focus your attention on the person talking. Don’t interrupt. Don’t be too quick to jump into the conversation, but do participate.

If negative or critical comments are made, try to redirect the discussion. Be the voice of reason and encourage others to focus on the positives and not the negatives. These parties should be a time to celebrate and have fun.

9. Control your alcoholic drinking—While this seems like common sense, I have seen countless people make fools of themselves by over-drinking at parties. Make the decision in advance as to how many drinks you are going to have and then use your self-control to keep from having even one more.

10. Pitch in unasked—When you attend events with family and “close” friends, look for the things you can do without being asked. It could be picking up glasses laying around or taking out the trash that is overflowing. My wife and I have always appreciated those who pitched in to help without having to be asked. Just don’t overdo it or your host may feel uncomfortable.

11. Help clean up—If you attend a party at someone’s home, offer to help with the clean up. If they decline your offer, simply say, “I would enjoy helping you clean up. Would you please allow me to help you?” When they accept your offer, help them clean up until the job is finished or until your host wants to take a break. If they decline your help because they would rather continue the conversation in another room, ask them again when the party is over.

12. Express appreciation—Tell your host and hostess how much you enjoyed the party, the meal, the fellowship. Thank them for including you in the gathering. Later, send a thank-you note.

Do you have any tips? If so, share them in the comments section below this post.

I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope each of you have a memorable weekend with your friends and family. Because I will be spending time with my family next week, my next post will be the first Tuesday in January.

Often times it’s the simple acts of thoughtfulness that bring joy to others on these special occasions.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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10 Ways to Bless Someone This Holiday Season

Todd Smith — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 11:21:19 +0000

This past week I received an email from a loyal follower of this blog who shared the story of how he took what little money he had to buy a pair of cowboy boots for a little girl.

He wrote, “Had the pleasure of telling a Mom last night (who is without a job) that she could consider her little girl’s boots for Christmas bought. Paid for! She was overwhelmed. To this Mom and little girl (who has wanted these boots for three years), it will be very special Christmas.”

His story so inspired me; I challenged my two younger children (who still live at home) to think creatively about how they can serve one or more people this holiday season. And now in this post, I want to challenge you.

Will you give unselfishly of your time and/or resources this holiday season to serve or bless those who aren’t as fortunate as you? If you are a parent, read this post with your children and come up with an idea of how you can serve together.

To open your mind, here are some possibilities:

1. Remember our Servicemen and their families. If there is a Veteran’s Home or Hospital near you, send Christmas cards to several of our Heroes, thanking them for their service and sacrifice. Taking cookies or candy is also a possibility. If you know of a wife, mother, or family of a soldier serving overseas, think of ways you can fill their loneliness and let them know people care about them.

2. Love a family member. Who in your extended family is going through a difficult time? How can you show your love and support to this family member? Ideas include sending an encouraging card, making a phone call on Christmas to say you are thinking of him or her, or taking this person to lunch or coffee and sharing the impact he or she has had on your life.

3. Give a gift of sponsorship. Rather than giving your friends or family members more “stuff” they don’t really need, why not give a gift to a charity in their names. You can give a gift that feeds a child, provides clean water for a community, rescues a child from sex slavery, or whatever it is you or the gift receiver are most passionate about.

Some great organizations I have worked with over the years include Compassion International, World Vision and Children’s Hope Chest.

4. Serve the homeless on Christmas morning. One of the most rewarding things my family has done on Christmas mornings is to serve the homeless. Getting up early, we take coffee, donuts, and little gift bags and go in search of homeless people to wish a Merry Christmas.

Last year we did this with my daughter-in-law’s family. Her dad dressed up as Santa Clause, and we all had a wonderful time giving away coffee, donuts, gift bags, and clothes.

5. Visit a nursing home. Many elderly people in nursing homes will not have any family or friends visiting them this holiday season. Image sitting in a nursing home during the holidays by yourself.

If this is something that pulls on your heart, call your local nursing home and find out who doesn’t have family in town. Then take them some homemade goodies and spend time visiting with them.

6. Serve a neighbor in need. As you think about your neighbors, which one is having the hardest time this holiday season? It could be someone who has lost a loved one, is struggling financially, or is experiencing health challenges.

Does anyone come to mind? If so, how can you bless that family? Ideas include giving a homemade meal, a loaf of fresh baked bread, your famous holiday cookies, gifts for their children, or inviting them over for Christmas dinner.

7. Bless a single mom. The life of a single mom is a tough life as my opening story highlighted. Do you know a single mom who is having a particularly difficult time? How can you make this holiday season brighter for her and her children? Would a card with an anonymous cash gift enhance their holidays?

8. Help a struggling co-worker. What if your company was giving away $100 gift card to one deserving employee who is to be selected by co-workers. Each person has one vote and must include the reason why you gave this person your vote. Who would you vote for and what would your note say?

Since your company is likely not running this type of holiday program, what can you do for this person to make their life better?

9. Surprise a family in your community. Working through a local organization, you can learn about a family who is suffering from financial hardship. Then go shopping and deliver Christmas gifts, a turkey, and couple bags of food so they can enjoy Christmas.

If this is something you want to do contact your church, synagogue, or work though a local organization that provides this service.

10. Out of the box idea. Okay, I have given you some basic ideas, but as you learned in my post Exploring a New World of Possibilities the best ideas come when you stretch yourself. Whether it’s Christmas caroling with your friends or making Christmas cookies or candy for your office, there are 101 ways you can touch someone’s life this holiday season.

So, what will you do? Will you give unselfishly of yourself to bless someone’s life this holiday season? What creative ideas do you have? Share what you are going to do in the comment section below this post.

When you give of yourself to serve others in need, you are demonstrating one of the most admirable character traits one can possess.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

How Much Money Do You Need to Retire?

Todd Smith — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 08:45:22 +0000

Have you ever calculated the amount of money you will need to have saved in order to enjoy the flow of income necessary to maintain your current lifestyle in retirement?

If your answer is no, the sooner you determine how much you need to have saved, the sooner you can start the critical planning necessary to ensure a comfortable retirement.

I have often heard millionaires referred to as “the rich people,” but did you know if you had one million dollars saved paying you an annualized return of 5 percent a year, you would only be earning $50,000, before paying taxes.

You must also consider the effects of inflation. As an example, let’s say you are 42 years old today and plan to retire when you are 65. Based on 3 percent annual inflation, you will need twice the cash flow at age 65 as you do today to maintain your current lifestyle.

How much do you need to save annually?

Using the medium household income in the U.S of approximately $50,000, here are some at-a-glance numbers as to the amount of money you will need to save each year to maintain your current cash flow of $50,000 annually when you reach age 65.

Age	*Annual Savings Required
25	$10,500
30	$13,500
35	$17,500
40	$23,500
45	$33,000
50	$49,000

These amounts* were determined using an income calculator. The rate of return on investments used was 7 percent before age 65 and 3 percent thereafter. An inflation rate of 3 percent was included. The numbers also assume no current savings and do not take Social Security income into consideration. In each example, all the savings will have run out at age 85.

As if these numbers aren’t scary enough, keep in mind that all annual savings (unless placed in pre-tax retirement account) are after tax dollars. In other words, if your current household income is $50,000 a year, you must pay 25% in taxes before putting your after- tax savings into your investments.

How many people are prepared?

Based on all the data I have reviewed and all the calculations I have done, I would bet that less than 3 percent of our population is currently on track with their savings and investments to maintain their current qualify of life during their retirement years.

The baby boomers (born between 1946-1964) will start reaching age 65 in 2011. Guess how much they’ve saved? One report from 2008 indicated they had an average retirement savings of $38,000, excluding pensions, homes, and Social Security. Using 5 percent as an investment return rate, $38,000 would provide a monthly income of $158.

Putting together your plan

If enjoying a comfortable retirement is important to you, you cannot procrastinate with your retirement planning. You can’t hope and pray that somehow everything will work out. The baby boomers who had this attitude will soon pay the price for their lack of planning. The only bailout plan they can hope for is the guest bedroom at one of their children’s homes.

The quality of life you enjoy during your retirement years will largely be based on your decisions. Financial security comes from making a series of good financial decisions over time, while financial failure comes from making a series of poor financial decisions over time. In looking at your balance sheet, how have you been doing with your financial decisions?

Here are my suggestions:

1. Make a commitment to yourself today that you are going to start making well-informed financial decisions. This includes educating yourself, seeking wise counsel and proper planning.

2. Get started NOW. According to Albert Einstein, “The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest.” No more procrastinating. It’s time to get started. The sooner you do, the sooner your money will start working for you.

3. Determine your current household budget. If you aren’t actively following a budget, its time to start taking responsibility for your finances.

4. Using an income calculator, get an idea as to the amount of money you will need to save each year to enjoy the lifestyle you desire during your retirement years.

5. Meet with a certified financial planner or financial advisor with a proven track record THIS MONTH who can help you through this planning process. (Ask someone you respect for a referral or search here.) There are numerous factors beyond those used in an income calculator that need to be taken into consideration.

6. Invest as much of the money you save into qualified retirement plans, such as a 401K, ROTH IRA, or SEP IRA. These types of plans will allow your investments to grow tax deferred, and with some plans you can invest pre-tax dollars. As an example, I wrote a check this week for my 2010 SEP IRA. This investment is subtracted from my gross income and, therefore, I do not pay taxes on this money until it is withdrawn. (It’s pre-tax dollars that grow tax deferred.)

If your company offers a matching 401K program I would highly suggest taking full advantage of it.

7. Don’t make risky investments. I have seen far too many people get greedy and lose all their money. If something sounds to good to be true, run from it. You are better off living a reduced quality of life during retirement than no quality of life.

8. Step up your game. Use this as motivation to become The Best of the Best at what you do. Move Up the Pay Scale and become a leader in your field of expertise. Increasing your income gives you the best opportunity to properly prepare for retirement while maintaining an optimal lifestyle today.

If you are not on track to achieving your retirement income objectives, let me encourage you to take control of your finances in 2011 and start planning for your future.

Not planning for retirement is like living with a disease and not doing anything about it. Eventually it will raise its ugly head; when it does, it will be too late.

Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #27 in America’s top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

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