10 Tips For Balancing Your Career and Family

While I have been far from the perfect husband or father, I have always been a great believer of leading a balanced life. I take pride in being a successful entrepreneur as well as being a family man. Married to my high school sweetheart for 25 years, together we have raised and home-schooled four remarkable children, ranging in age from 15-23.

I realize there are components to living a happy and successful life beyond your family and career, but finding the right balance between these two is where most people struggle. I’ve learned first hand, if the proper balance between your family and career is not achieved, every part of your life will likely suffer from the consequences.

For those of you who are high achievers, it is absolutely critical that you maintain the appropriate balance in your life. If you neglect to invest time in your relationships with your spouse and children while in pursuit of your career goals, you will likely regret it during the later years of your life.

For those of you who are spouses of high achievers, just know that 40 hours a week is break even in life. If you want to have the nice things life can offer and enjoy a better than average quality of life, there are sacrifices you must make. If you aren’t making these compromises, be careful. I have never seen a marriage last when someone’s spouse is holding him or her back. Have you?

My Top 10 Tips For Enjoying a Successful Career, Marriage and Family Life

1.  Set Your Family and Business Goals—I believe the first step to achieving anything important is to begin by identifying your goals. If you have not already done so, pull out a pad of paper and write down your career, marriage and family goals.

2.  Get The Support From Your Spouse—The only way you are going to achieve these goals is with the support of your spouse. Just as it would be unwise to think you can build a successful business without the support of your business partner, you won’t build a successful marriage, family life and career without the support of your spouse.

3.  Create Blocks of Time For Work and Family—One of the first things my wife and I did when we got married was to put together a work and family schedule. What started out 25 years ago as a simple schedule where we blocked out time for my career and for us to be together has transitioned to a plan for our entire family. We delineate blocks of time to spend time with each of the children and together as a family. This one tip has made a HUGE difference in my life.

4.  Review Schedule with Family—After you and your spouse have negotiated the blocks of time you will allocate for your career, spend together and be with your children, then review the schedule with your children and get their buy-in. After you have discussed the schedule, establish the boundaries highlighted in the next three tips.

5.  Make Sure Your Work Time is Respected—During the blocks of time you have allocated to work, you are not to be interrupted unless there is important reason. Of course, there will be exceptions when either your spouse or kids need to talk to you about something, but you must make those times the exceptions and not the norm.

6.  Don’t Conduct Business During Family Time—This means not doing ANYTHING work related during family time. I respect and value my family time and therefore I rarely schedule calls or appointments during this time. My phone seldom rings during family time because everyone knows when I am with my family, I don’t answer my phone or respond to messages. I’ve set boundaries and people I associate with on a regular basis respect those boundaries.

7.  Make Your Family Time, Family Time For Everyone—No texts, no emails, no phone calls! This applies to you and your family members. Make your family time a sacred time that is valued by everyone.

8.  Be Present—When you are with your family, try to stop thinking about everything going on in your life and focus on your family. Resist the temptation to talk about your work and instead concentrate on topics of interest to your family. Use your time together to ask questions and discuss what is going on in their lives.

9.  Dates with Kids—If you have children, let me encourage you to block out times to spend time with them on an individual basis. There is no better way to connect with someone than one-to-one. Whether it’s a bike ride, a one night camping trip, playing dolls, a cup of tea or whatever it is they enjoy doing, block out time each week to spend with each of your children.

10.  Weekly Date With Spouse—This is the number one marriage tip I give to newlyweds. Every week for the past 25 years with a rare exception, my wife and I have a date. Our dates may be dinner at our favorite restaurant, a boat ride or a campfire on the beach cooking hot dogs. The key for us is blocking out time where we can focus on each other without any distractions. This allows us to catch up on everything going on in our lives and to show our love to each other.

I want to challenge you to take steps to improve the balance between the time spent pursuing your career, building your marriage and pouring into your children’s lives. Print out this lesson and discuss it with your spouse. I am convinced if you will implement these 10 tips, you will live a happier, more successful and fulfilling life.

Your example is what your children will remember when they have a family.

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. Sign up to receive Todd’s daily lessons at Little ThingsMatter.com

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  • Todd,

    Thank you for all these amazing tips! Being an Entrepreneur and working from home is the best decision I've ever made, although it has been quite challenging for me when it comes to balancing my time with, my work, my husband and my children. I agree that scheduling a weekly date with my husband is important, but I'll be honest he does get the short end of the stick sometimes.

    My time is extremely valuable to me, I even surprise myself with what I can accomplish especially when my days are consumed with cleaning, laundry, cooking, my boys hockey games, my daughters brownies, helping with homework, bedtime talks with my kids, meeting business clients, making business calls, speaking engagements, coaching my clients, training my team, writing my book, reading books, going for my walks and building my new Blog! Whew!!! Some people would think that it's just not worth it, but because I love what I do and I have a vision of where it all will lead, it will all be worth it! Plus my kids see a happy Mom, I just hope my husband see's it too!

    I honestly believe that it's also about having the right mindset. I am working hard to build my business and hopefully one day I will be able to hire that cleaning lady, and even an office assistant, that's my goal. Receiving my last promotion was a big achievement for me, my husband is finally seeing my efforts pay off. I now have the support that I wish I had in the beginning, but that's OK, if anything, having to "prove" I can do it, was a big motivator for me! I will continue to work hard towards achieving the "Time Freedom" we all dream about. I just have to remember to stay focused on maintaining a good balance with my business and my family because you are right Todd, it will all lead to a more happy, successful and fulfilling life.

    Todd, you've given me many lessons on time management which has helped me immensely, you are definitely one person I will continue to fit into my busy schedule!

    You're the best!

    Dana
  • Hi Dana, I got tired reading all the things you are responsible for doing. I can see why balance is especially challenging for you. It appears you are on the right track and it is exciting to read about your progress. Thanks for your comment and support of this blog! Todd
  • eabus
    I like that you think about your guidance as a whole.
    Your posts are not about business but about life and how to travel a road to
    success and happiness. Many people think of success as the amount at the bank and
    although it is good way to measure and money solves most problems but close relationships
    is a must. Thank you for your perspective on the family subject.
    We home schooled our 9 year old until she was 6 and that was an unforgettable time.
  • Hi Ernesto,

    Thanks for sending me the photos of you and your beautiful daughter. I admire your drive and desire to grow as a person and father.

    As always, thanks for your comment!
  • Todd,
    Thank you so much for your example and for your advice each week!
    I wholeheartedly agree with every tip.

    The one tip I would add would be to discuss future and current family finances.
    It may not have to be down to the penny but it should be open for discussion.
    Too many marriages suffer because of the lack of communication about money.

    For me it provides a level of vulnerability to get advice from my wife.
    For her it provides a level of security knowing that we are going in the right direction.

    James
  • James, great point!

    I even go as far as including my children in some of our financial discussions. If we don't teach our kids how to make good financial decisions, then where will they learn it?

    Thanks for taking your time to contribute!
  • This is probably, on my LTM list, at the very top of the list! I wholeheartedly agree with what you wrote/ spoke about this morning.

    One point that really stood out to me was #2 Getting the Support of Your Spouse.

    I think so many times couples do not talk about their work goals. Discussing your visions and goals/ dreams brings you closer together and unites you. It also allows for your spouse to be your cheerleader and encourager.

    Sometimes I think one spouse can be working so hard trying to provide, etc. that tension arises over unspoken expectations.

    My final thought would be that talking through and sharing your goals will also make your spouse feel important and included in this aspect of your life. I know when my husband shares his goals and dreams and asks for my input it always makes me feel good and valued!
  • Hi Jessica, I am glad to see James post below or I would think this is family and friends day on this post. (I don't know James yet)

    If you and Gerrid, communicate as you described, your love for each other will continue grow more deeply.

    I appreciate your contribution and ideas on this post.

    Love you!
  • Burma Hicks
    Todd I am loving your Little Things that Matter. It just brings back to our minds things we know but forget put into our daily life. Thanks again for all you do. Burma Hicks
  • Hi Burma, thanks for your comment. One thing I know about you,,,is your children and Grandchildren love you dearly! You have been a great example!
  • D. Smith
    Todd, this is terrific relevant advice! DJS
  • Hi Dad, thanks for your comment. It was great to see your name on the list. Love you!
  • vickianzalone
    Gotta love your Dad too ! Give him my best !
  • vickianzalone
    To say I agree with you would be an understatement ! One of the things I try and do is that if I haven't made the time that I would have liked for any specific person or project, I don't consider it a lost cause. So many times people believe its too late to make these simple changes in their personal lives but are willing to change complete careers without a blink ! I know in my heart that the foundation of my life is my family and when that's going well and all is calm on the home front, the rest of my life runs like a clock ! If we take as much pride and time to work on our personal lives, our professional lives thrive as a result. I don't think that applies as much the other way around ! Todd, if there were 2 words I would use to describe you they would be disciplined (we all know that definition....LOL) and balanced - 2 things I strive for EVERY day !!!! I am so grateful to be able to start my day with you and LTM !!!
  • Hi Vicki, thanks for your comment. I believe a lot of families would have closer relationships if they spent more time together. I am glad to know the emphasis you put on your family.
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