Monthly Archives: October 2010

A Plan for Working Through Personal Challenges

I write this lesson as I reflect on some of the most troubled times of my life. Because we all go through these challenging times—no one is exempt—I want to share some ideas and insights that will help you get through them and come out stronger and wiser.

Step 1. Seek to Understand the Problem and Its Cause

The first step in addressing any challenge is to make sure you clearly understand the problem and its cause. By gaining a clear understanding of the problem, you will be better prepared to find the right solution.

It is also important to backtrack. Look at the decisions you have made that led to the situation in which you find yourself.  Refuse to blame anyone. You are where you are largely based on your decisions.

If we don’t take the time to understand what decisions led to the problem, we will likely repeat them.

Step 2. List Your Options

Once you have a clear understanding of the issue and its cause, the next step is to consider all your options.

• If you lost your job, you have two obvious options: one, to wallow in self-pity, play the victim role, and blame someone or something; or two, suck it up and get your butt out looking for a new job.

• If you said or did something that hurt another person, you have two evident options: one, make excuses and try to justify your actions; or two, apologize, ask for forgiveness, and restore the relationship.

Whatever challenges you face, there are always options to address them. Take some quiet time and consider ALL your options, as well as the pros and cons of each. You might want to review the best post I have written on the subject: How to Make Critical Decisions.

Step 3. Make a Decision

The fastest way to get out of your taxing situation is to make a decision as to what you are going to do about it. When I reflect on my challenging times, the most difficult part of each experience was not knowing what to do. This is the danger zone. Because you are not making any forward progress, you are prolonging your pain and damaging your self-image and attitude.

A close friend who is going through a challenging period right now called me yesterday for some advice. She explained the situation and said, “The most difficult part is not knowing what to do.”

Together we reviewed all her options. After selecting the best three options, we discussed the pros and cons of each one. Then I challenged her to make a decision and not allow this process to drag on any longer.

When I spoke with her later in the day, she had made her decision. I could tell she felt better and was smiling by the tone of her voice. By making the decision, she was one step closer to putting the challenge behind her.

Step 4. Put Together Your Plan

Once you decide what you are going to do, your next step is to put together your plan. Look at your decision as a goal; put together a plan to achieve that goal. Your plan is as simple as writing down the steps you will take and the things you will do to achieve your desired outcome.

Depending on the severity of your situation, it may be wise to review your plan with your spouse or a respected friend. The more refined your plan is, the greater your odds will be of achieving your goal in the shortest period of time.

Step 5. Execute Your Plan

After you have your plan outlined, use your personal initiative and discipline to execute it immediately. When you procrastinate and delay executing your plan, you are making a decision to drag out your pain longer.

If you are going through a challenging time in your life, I encourage you to go through this process. Think about it. What do you have to lose?  Make the decision right now that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH; you are going to take control of the situation and bring an end to it.

At times, you might feel like you are trudging through quicksand, but don’t stop. The fastest way to get through this period is by working through it—not avoiding it or procrastinating. We all go through difficult, painful times. Some wallow in them and play the victim role; others accept responsibility, put together a plan, and fight through them.

I urge you to grab yourself by the collar with a tight fist, look in the mirror, and accept the challenge to step up to the plate with courage and conviction.

There is a positive side to facing those painful, challenging times. They provide us with the greatest opportunity for growth. If you are thinking about how you navigate through life’s challenges, you will grow and become wiser from each one you experience.

What has helped you work through difficult periods in your life?  Please share them in the comment section below this post.

15 Tips to Keep From Getting Sick

As we move into prime flu season, I want to share with you what I do to stay well. A key part of my success and happiness is that I seldom get sick, and I believe it is because of the little things I do that keep me feeling good. When you understand how viruses and germs are spread, there is a lot you can do to keep yourself healthy.

Here are 15 tips to help you feel good, look good, and stay well. As you will see, it’s all about playing the odds and reducing your risks.

1.  Wash your hands frequently. Since your hands are the main carriers of viruses and germs, make it a habit to wash them often, especially EVERY time you use the restroom.

2.  Carry an anti-bacterial hand cleaner in your car, briefcase, or purse. This is the best way to sanitize your hands when water and soap are not available.

3.  Maintain a strong immune system. You are most susceptible to catching something you don’t want when your immune system is weak. Getting your rest, exercising, eating healthy foods, and drinking plenty of water will help in keeping your immune system strong.

4.  Avoid picking your nose or teeth or rubbing your eyes. Those are the main entry points of viruses and germs. Keep toothpicks available for your teeth and soft facial tissues to rub your eyes, nose, or face.

5.  Take vitamin C daily. Almost every day, I take vitamin C. As my doctor told me, “Vitamin C is like little Kung Fu fighters, fighting the bad guys in your body.” When there are more bad guys in your body than good guys, you lose the battle and get sick.

6.  Avoid touching rails, banisters, and other public objects. The more frequently you touch things everyone else is touching, the more likely you are to get sick.

7.  Avoid opening public doors with your hands. If the door is one you can push to open, then gently push it with your foot if there is a foot guard or with your shoulder or elbow.

8.  Be careful of doorknobs. They are the ultimate carrier of germs. When in a public restroom, keep the paper towel used to dry your hands to open the door. Then while holding the door open with your foot, throw the towel away.

9.  Don’t touch public toilets. I seldom touch a public toilet with any part of my body for many reasons. Use toilet paper or a paper towel to flush manual toilets.

10.  Don’t shake the hands of a sick person. Greet these people with a nod of the head and a friendly smile. If you must shake a sick person’s hand, wash your hands or use your anti-bacterial cleaner as soon as you can.

11.  Don’t get too close, hug, or kiss people who are sick. The closer you get to them, the greater your odds of getting sick.

12.  Be aware when you must touch public objects. If I am pressing an elevator button, I use my knuckle because I am less likely to touch my mouth, eyes, or nose with my knuckle. If I have to grab a long door handle, I touch the spot most people don’t touch.

13.  Don’t share drinks and food. This also means no licking their ice cream cones.

14.  Review this list with your children. You are more likely to stay healthy if your children are healthy. You may also want to consider giving a copy of this list to your co-workers for the same reason.

15.  Immediately attack cold and flu symptoms. When I sense a cold is brewing, I immediately go into attack mode and start consuming 1000 mg of vitamin C every couple of hours, along with other immune-boosting supplements. I drink a lot of water and make sure I get a good night’s rest. In 95 percent of these cases, the flu or cold symptoms go away within 24 hours. I also go into attack mode if I am around a sick person for an extended period of time.

The benefits of staying healthy go beyond the obvious. When feeling good, you are more able to fulfill your responsibilities at home and at work. By being concerned about your own well-being, you show respect to those with whom you live and work. Staying well also plays a big part in your happiness and overall satisfaction in life.

Please take a couple of minutes and share any tips you have found helpful in keeping yourself healthy during flu season. (Please do not mention any products by their brand name.)

We human beings are guilty of spreading most germs and viruses. By being aware of the ways in which germs and viruses can be passed on to others, we can avoid being a part of the sickness cycle.

Don’t Give Away Your Trust Easily

Years ago, a close friend told me, “Todd, don’t believe anything you hear and only 50 percent of what you see. Then you will only be disappointed 50 percent of the time.”

While that may sound harsh, I have found it to be true. He owned one of the top CPA firms in Florida for nearly 30 years and told me story after story of how his clients had lost millions of dollars by trusting the wrong people.

When I was young and naïve, I trusted just about everyone. In fact, I trusted people until I was given a reason not to trust them. The problem with this way of thinking was that I continued to find myself being the victim of deceit and theft. In addition, I constantly found myself aggravated with people who shared private and confidential information.

Example #1.  How my accountant stole $73,000

When I moved to Tampa in 1991, I needed to find a new accountant. After meeting with several, I selected one I liked. A couple of years later when making one of my quarterly tax payments, he told my dad (who was working for me at the time), “Just drop the check off at my office and I’ll make sure it’s deposited and allocated to the correct quarter.” The check was for more than $73,000.

The following year I received a notice from the IRS stating I owed $73,000 in back taxes. I quickly hired a new accountant to figure out what had happened. He determined that the IRS had not received the payment, yet the check had cleared my bank.

When we requested a copy of the check from the bank, we learned that the accountant had scratched out “IRS,” made the check payable to himself, and deposited it into his personal account.

We called the police, filed charges, and had him arrested.

Example #2.  How my relative was scammed for $50,000

Years ago, a relative asked me to go along to meet with someone who was going to handle some of her money. We walked into a nicely decorated office that resembled a bank. It had the standard bank-type signage showing the return rate on its CDs, and full-color brochures displayed on a walnut table—everything that would make it appear to be a legitimate financial institution.

We met with an elderly gentleman dressed in a suit who explained his conservative investment philosophy. He convincingly presented a safe, secure investment backed by a major insurance company. He even provided full-color brochures describing the investment in detail.

Everything appeared to be in order, so my relative invested $50,000. About a year later, the office closed and she had been scammed out of a portion of her retirement fund.

While I would like to say these two cases were flukes, I have had countless people try to take advantage of me over the years, each disguised in a different way and many of which would not be considered illegal, as is the case in the next example.

Example #3.  The plumber who stole $35,000

Several years ago, I was building an investment property. My builder secured a bid of $42,000 from a plumbing contractor for the required plumbing work. When we awarded him the bid, he said he would give us a $7,000 discount, if we paid the full amount in advance. Since he had been in business for 30 years and had a proven track record, I made the decision that saving $7,000 was worth paying him in advance.

I paid him $35,000 and never heard from him again. He filed for bankruptcy shortly thereafter and left me with no options to get my money back.

Example #4.  The fake domain-name company

About a month ago, a company in Asia contacted me. Their email indicated that someone was trying to secure all the Asian domain name extensions for Little Things Matter. They gave me a list of all the domain names and indicated that since I owned a trademark for Little Things Matter, they would give me the first right of refusal on purchasing the names.

I suspiciously observed their website. It gave the appearance of being a professional site with a legitimate business. When I checked to see how long they had owned their domain name, I discovered that it had been purchased just a few months earlier. That sent up red flags, so I did an internet search. I found that other people had been swindled out of hundreds, and in some cases thousands, of dollars because they trusted this company.

Trust is to be earned

I could write a book about these types of stories.  My biggest takeaways from all these experiences are to be cautious, do your research, consider your risks, and choose your relationships carefully.

Being guarded about whom I trust is not limited to money situations. I am also extremely careful to whom I provide information I would not want to be shared. I have learned the best way to keep information private is not to tell anyone, including those you trust.

Let me also suggest being cautious of anyone who indicates any religious affiliation. While I am a person of faith, I don’t talk about my faith in business situations or when I am trying to earn someone’s trust. When people start talking about their faith in order to gain your trust, be extra careful.

While this lesson may be difficult to accept, I have learned the hard way that trust is not something you simply give away. It must be earned.

What’s been your experience on this subject?  Please tell me in the comments section below this post.

You have nothing to lose by being cautious, guarding your trust until people have proven they are trustworthy. At the same time, you have everything to lose, including your savings, damaged relationships, and your reputation, if you give away your trust easily.

Defining Your Core Values

Companies traditionally define their core values, mission, and vision statements that influence their decisions and client relationships, but individuals also benefit greatly by identifying their own personal core values.

Your core values are a series of words or phrases defining who you are and what you stand for. They represent the internal navigation system for your life and the filter through which you process all of life’s decisions. They are the values you would fight for and the attributes you hope others say about you in your absence or after your death. They become key elements of your personal brand and define your character.

Think of the last time you did something that you knew deep down inside was wrong. How did you feel? That feeling was a result of your actions being inconsistent with one of your core values. Psychologists tell us that nothing creates internal stress and guilt more than when our actions are incongruent with our values.

If you will take the time to establish and live by a set of core values congruent with the context of this lesson, you will make better decisions, enjoy healthier relationships, be happier, and enjoy a more peaceful and satisfying life.

Your core values can be single words or short phrases such as:

• Accountability
• Authenticity
• Coachable
• Communication
• Consideration
• Creativity
• Discipline
• Encourage
• Excellence
• Fairness
• Faithfulness
• Family
• Friendliness
• Fun
• Goal-oriented
• Gratitude
• Health
• Humility
• Integrity
• Loyalty
• Leadership
• Open-mindedness
• Optimism
• Productivity
• Respect
• Responsibility
• Self-control
• Stewardship
• Unselfishness
• Wisdom
• Win-win attitude

In the most basic sense, core values are the characteristics, traits, and qualities on which you place a high value. They form the foundation on which you conduct yourself each day. They shape your personality and distinguish you from everyone else.

I have a document titled “Todd Smith’s Brand.”  This document clearly articulates my vision, mission, purpose, core values, and other characteristics that describe who I am and what I like.

By defining these things, along with my personal and professional goals, I know what I stand for, what I want, where I want to take my life, and how I want to be viewed by the world.  As a result, I am able to quickly make wise choices.

I want to challenge you to take 30 minutes of quiet time to sit down and put into writing the words or phrases that define your core values. This list can include the things that describe your values today and the person you want to become tomorrow.

If you have previously established a set of core values for your life, would you please take a couple of minutes to share the impact your core values have had on your life in the comments sections below this post?

Your core values give direction to the words you speak, the actions you perform, and the path you walk each day.

Personal Accountability—A Requirement for Life Advancement

Accountability is normally viewed as being responsible—giving an explanation of your actions—to somebody for something.  However, today’s lesson is not about someone holding you accountable. It’s about you holding yourself accountable.

When you take 100 percent responsibility for holding yourself accountable, your performance will improve, your relationships will flourish, your market value will soar, people’s respect for you will skyrocket, you will be a great example for others to follow, and your self-esteem will grow.

How is it that in all these areas of your life you can see such dramatic improvement?  Because when you hold yourself accountable to doing the things you know you should do, you will distinguish yourself from the crowd.

I am convinced if you want to advance your life personally or professionally, you must hold yourself accountable for your actions, responsibilities, and goals.  Think about it. Why should it be someone else’s job to make sure you are doing the things that you know you should to be doing?

The mindset I adopted more than 25 years ago is this: it is up to me and no one else to make sure I am doing what I know I should be doing. When someone has to hold me accountable because I failed to do what I should have done, I have a serious conversation with myself. My belief is that no one should have to hold me accountable for my actions, responsibilities, and goals. While I appreciate others helping me get better, I am the one that must hold myself to a high standard.

Three Types of Accountability

There are three areas in which you must hold yourself accountable:

1.    Your actions and choices—This would include such things as:

• The way in which you communicate with others
• How you spend your time
• Your behavior and manners
• The consideration and respect you show others
• Your eating habits and exercise routine
• Your attitude and thoughts
• The way you respond to challenges

2.    Your responsibilities—This would include these types of things:

• Returning calls, emails, and texts in a timely manner
• Being on time for business and personal appointments
• Keeping your home, car, and workplace clean
• Spending less than you earn
• Doing the things you agreed to do when you agreed to do them
• Executing your job description to the best of your ability
• Writing things down on a to-do list so you don’t forget

3.    Your goals—This would include your:

• Fitness and health targets
• Financial goals
• Family objectives
• Career ambitions
• Personal goals
• Marital enhancement
• Any other goals you have set for yourself

Make no mistake about it. You cannot achieve any worthwhile personal or professional goal if you don’t hold yourself accountable. The reason is simple: it’s your life!  If you have to be held accountable at work, don’t expect to be promoted or to experience any type of significant career advancement. If you have to be held accountable at home by your parents, roommate, or spouse, it will grow old fast and your relationships will deteriorate.

Holding yourself accountable is nothing more than following through with YOUR commitments and responsibilities.  It’s doing what YOU know YOU should do when YOU should do it.

Whether you are 15 years old or 60 years old, let today be the day that you make the commitment to yourself that you will NEVER again require anyone else to hold you accountable.  Let me also encourage you to start keeping a prioritized to-do list and focus on holding yourself accountable to work through your tasks in a prioritized sequence.

This is your life!  Take control. Be responsible for it.

Like many of my posts, there will be exceptions. If you are struggling with personal accountability and need the help of others, then I encourage you to seek it.

What’s helped you become a more accountable person?  Please share your tips, thoughts, and ideas below this post.

If you will hold yourself accountable for your actions, responsibilities, and goals, you can achieve anything that is important to you.

Live by Design, Not Default

Goal setting is fundamental to any type of achievement. If you want to live a life of purpose, setting goals will increase your odds of reaching your desired outcome.

The process of setting goals helps bring clarity to the things that are truly important to you. Absent a clear picture of what you want to achieve in your life, you will be left wandering aimlessly through life like a ship without a rudder, without ever achieving anything worthwhile.

When you set clearly defined goals and create a plan to achieve them, you will begin to live your life by design, not default. You will feel motivated and empowered.  Your self-confidence will grow and you will begin to feel like you are in control of your life. When you are crystal clear on what you want to achieve, you’ll be able to focus your efforts on the things that will help you reach those goals.

Six Basic Elements to Goal Setting

1. They must be important to you—Goals are not casual wishes and things you simply desire. The only way you will achieve any goal is if the goal is truly important to you. If the goal is only slightly or moderately important, it’s highly unlikely that you will follow through and do what is required to achieve it.

2. They must be specific—You must know exactly what you want. Your goals cannot be vague or ambiguous. For example, if you want to lose weight, you would not set a goal to simply lose weight. Instead, your goal must be specific, such as I want to lose 30 pounds.

3. They must have deadlines—What is the date or deadline for when you want to have achieved your objective?  If you do not establish a date to achieve your goal, you won’t feel any urgency, you won’t be motivated, and you won’t be able to draft an action plan to achieve it.

4. They must be measurable—Whatever it is you want to achieve must be something you can measure.  If you cannot measure your goal, how will you know if you are making any progress toward its achievement?

5. They must be realistic—Goals should make you stretch and push yourself, but they shouldn’t be so high that you set yourself up for failure.  Once you achieve a goal, your confidence will grow and your desire to set and achieve new goals will follow.

6. They must be in writing—Goals are not dreams in the back of your mind that someday you hope to accomplish.  Instead, goals are definitive objectives that must be written down and reviewed on a periodic basis.

Goal-setting Categories

To live a balanced life where you enjoy all the benefits life has to offer, goal setting in the following key areas is important.

• Career—What would you like to accomplish in your career? What level of success would you like to achieve? What’s your timing for job advancement?

• Financial—How much money would you like to earn?  How much would you like to save each month?  How much money do you want to have saved by the time you reach retirement?

• Family—What would you like your family life to look like?  What types of things would you like to be able to do with your family? What type of relationship do you want to have with your children?

• Spouse—Do you want to get married?  What kind of relationship would you like to enjoy with your spouse?

• Spiritual—Do you believe in God or some other higher power?  If so, what is your objective to grow yourself and your knowledge in this area?

• Health—How important is your health?  What is your desired weight? What health issues do you need to address?

• Personal—Do you have some personal things that are important to you? Do you want to improve your tennis or golf game, travel to the Great Barrier Reef, or remodel your home?

• Social—What types of things do you want to do socially? With whom would you like to develop a better relationship?

Take a few minutes to evaluate some of your most important objectives and if they don’t fit within these categories, create some new ones and add them to the list.

The Goal-setting Process

I’ve used various techniques for goal setting throughout my career, but after 30 years I’ve determined that it really comes down to a simple three-step process.

Step 1. Make a list of the categories important to you. Identify the areas of your life where you need to establish goals. Use the category list above and add others that may be unique to your situation.

Step 2. Follow the six basic elements. What are the BIG-picture goals that are important for you to achieve?  Make sure they are written, specific, measurable, realistic, and have deadlines.

Step 3. Put together your plan. A well-designed action plan clarifies the things you need to do in order to achieve your goal, outlines a prioritized sequence of steps, and serves as a method of measuring your progress to ensure that you are on the right track.  I strongly encourage you to read these two prior blog posts to help you design your plan.

• How to Put Together an Action Plan
• How to Prepare and Plan for New Projects

If you want to feel like you are in control of your life and increase the odds of achieving the things that are most important to you, please take time to complete this exercise. Don’t blow off this lesson. Goal setting is FUNDAMENTAL to achievement.

The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again but expecting different results. If you are not where you had hoped you would be at this time in your life, then why not take the time to set your goals and put together a plan to achieve them?  What have you got to lose?

What’s more important to you: watching TV, communicating with your friends on Facebook, or taking the time to design your future? What you choose to do with your time will tell you the answer.