Yearly Archives: 2010

12 Ways to be the Perfect Holiday Party Guest

Since most of us will be attending holiday parties in the coming weeks, I want to give you a few timely reminders on what I call party etiquette.  When my family makes sure to do these things, our efforts are noticed and appreciated.

Consider these 12 little things when you’re invited to someone’s party this holiday season:

1. RSVP—When you receive an invitation to an event, make it a priority to respond to the invitation ASAP, even if you cannot attend. When people send invitations, they expect a response in a timely manner. Don’t let your name appear on the unconfirmed list and have your host continue to wonder whether or not you are coming.

2. Offer to come early—If you have ever hosted an event at your home, you know the amount of planning and preparation that goes into making it special for everyone. If the people hosting the event are close friends or family, offer to come early to help with the setup. Even if they don’t accept your offer, they will appreciate you asking.

3. Call to see if they need anything—When attending a party with family or close friends, text or call the host before you leave your home and ask if there is anything you can pick up on the way. (A bag of ice or coffee creamer is often needed.) It’s a nice way to show you care and are willing to help.

4. Arrive on time—Always strive to show up on time for personal gatherings. If it’s a dinner engagement, you certainly don’t want to be the person everyone’s waiting for while the food gets cold. Being on time shows your respect for their schedule. At the same time, don’t come early or you may catch your host unprepared for early arrivals.

5. Take a hostess gift—When you are invited to attend a party or dinner engagement at someone’s home, it’s a nice practice to take a little gift for the host/hostess. It could be wine, candy, a fruitcake, an inspirational book, an inexpensive floral arrangement, or something as simple as a card. A little gift shows your appreciation for the effort put into the event and for being included.

6. Lend a helping hand—When you arrive, ask if there is anything you can do to help. Often there are last-minute things that need to be done and your offer will be appreciated. If there’s nothing to do, you can bet your offer will make an impression.

7. Be friendly—Make it a point to meet and greet each guest. A warm smile, a firm handshake if appropriate, and a comment of personal interest, as you repeat his or her name, will help everyone feel welcome.

8. Be a good listener—Be a respectful listener and observer. When others are speaking, focus your attention on the person talking and avoid interrupting or having side conversations.

If negative or critical comments are made, try to redirect the discussion. Be the voice of reason and encourage others to focus on the positives and not the negatives. These parties should be a time to celebrate and have fun.

9. Control your alcoholic drinking—While this seems like common sense, I have seen countless people make fools of themselves by over-drinking at parties. Make the decision in advance as to how many drinks you are going to have and then use your self-control to keep from having even one more.

10. Pitch in unasked—When you attend events with family and “close” friends, look for the things you can do without being asked. It could be picking up glasses laying around or taking out the trash that is overflowing. My wife and I have always appreciated those who pitched in to help without having to be asked. Just don’t overdo it or your host may feel uncomfortable.

11. Help clean up when the party is over—If you attend a party at someone’s home, offer to help with the clean up. If they decline your offer, simply say, “I would enjoy helping you clean up. Would you please allow me to help you?” When they accept your offer, help them clean up until the job is finished or until your host wants to take a break. If they decline your help because they would rather continue the conversation in another room, ask them again when the party is over.

12. Express appreciation—When leaving, tell your host and hostess how much you enjoyed the party. If there was something that impressed you or stood out, tell them. Thank them for their friendship and for including you in the gathering. When you return home, consider sending a thank-you note.

Do you have any tips?  If so, share them in the comments section below this post.

Hope you have a special time with your family and friends at this year’s parties and holiday dinners. Happy holidays!

The smallest gestures are some of the biggest ways you can show your love for the people around you this holiday season.

Top 10 Soft Skills to Master

“Soft skills” is a term relating to a cluster of personal attributes that characterize relationships with other people, such as social graces, communication, cooperation, honesty, respect, responsibility, friendliness, and optimism.

Because companies are becoming more process and system driven and because job competition has increased at all levels, there has never been a time when soft skills offer more value to the market than they do today.

As a growing number of people with similar talents and education compete for the same jobs, promotions, and clients, soft skills become the differentiating factor separating one person from another. The little things you’ve been learning about in this blog now matter more than ever.

In writing this post, I made a list of my top 50 soft skills; I then slowly and painfully reduced that list to my top 10. As you read each skill, I challenge you to look in the mirror of truth and do an honest evaluation.

If you have the desire to improve a specific skill, click the title link and learn more about that skill and the benefits of mastering it. Make 2011 the year you take your people skills to a new level.

1.  The Art of Listening. If your family, friends, and colleagues were asked to rank your listening skills, what would they say? Do you interrupt? Do you try to control the conversation? Do you ask questions showing a genuine interest in what people are saying?

Being an attentive listener is one of the most important skills you can master, especially in this fast-paced world where everyone wants to talk and few have the patience to listen. Be intentional this next year to listen more and talk less.

2.  Cell Phone Etiquette. A friend told me about his colleague, a Realtor, who landed a $6,900,000 listing. As he was leaving the seller’s home, he causally asked why he had been selected over the other four Realtors. The seller said, “You were the only one who did not check your cell phone during the appointment.” The Realtor ended up selling the home, earning over $300K.

Cell phone addiction is out of control. This next year, challenge yourself to show respect when using your phone, both at work and at home.

3.  Show More Respect. People’s tolerance for being disrespected is as low as I have ever seen it. The days of advancing careers by stepping on the toes of co-workers are over. People deserve to be treated with respect and are now demanding it.

Look for the little things you can do to show more respect to others. This includes the teller at the bank. Treat people as human beings and not as pawns on your chess board. As you treat others with greater respect, they will admire you and so will the people who witness your actions.

4.  Authenticity. Because many people are less trusting than they have ever been and others are tired of being around people who are not genuine and real, there is a powerful trend towards authenticity.

Being authentic is when you are not trying to impress others nor are you acting like someone you are not. The authenticity I am referring to makes people comfortable, relaxed, and enjoy your presence.

5.  Show Interest in Others. How frequently do people show a genuine interest in you, your ideas, or your interests? When was the last time a friend called you (without an agenda) just to see how you are doing? If your life is like mine, it doesn’t happen frequently.

Slow down and show an interest in those whose relationship you value. As you do, you will stand out from all the superficial relationships as someone who cares about others.

6.  Verbal Communication. According to a new research report by Kelly Services, the traits individuals identify as the most important in creating their personal brands were their verbal-communication skills. This includes such things as being friendly, clear, concise, confident, humble, and positive in the way you speak with others.

How you communicate with others verbally plays a defining role in how you are viewed. Think before you speak and take pride in the way you interact with others.

7.  Become More Responsible. As the speed of life has accelerated, so has the number of people who are neglecting to do the things that are expected of them, including being late for appointments, failing to return calls and emails, and not completing projects on time.

Being responsible also includes admitting when you have made a mistake and accepting responsibility for your actions and decisions. Let today be the day that you stop making excuses and start doing the little things that are expected of you.

8.  Make Your Appearance an Asset. Very few things are more powerful in creating your brand than the visual imprint you make in people’s minds. When you take pride in your appearance, it makes you look good, it helps you feel good, and it increases your influence with others.

I have learned that, when it comes to appearance, it’s all about the little things. From the way your hair is combed, to the style of clothes you wear and the shine on your shoes—it all makes an impression on others.

9.  Control Your Emotional Energy. Most of what I hear going on today is negative. It’s like the recession has given everyone a free pass to find fault with everything. Whining and complaining have become a part of most conversations.

Leaders and employers know they can’t build a business when their people are focused on negative issues. It only takes one negative person to impact the atmosphere of an entire office; therefore, they are hiring and rewarding people who have a positive influence on their work environment.

Remember, where your attention goes, so goes your energy and attitude. Make a commitment to start focusing on the positives and avoid the complainers who are dragging you down.

10.  Your Email Brand. Every email you send makes a small but noticeable impression on others. The accumulation of these impressions forms your brand. Think about your goals and consider the person you need to become to achieve your goals. I encourage you to read the email tips report and focus on improving your email brand.

George Gurney, a leader in the employment industry since 1976, said, “When it comes to job offers, the soft skills determine who gets the job. After many years of recruiting, I know for a fact that when all the candidates’ work experience, education, and hard skills are equal, the candidate with the best soft skills will win!… Soft skills can be best defined as the quality of a person’s charisma. ”

Let me challenge you to take inventory of your own soft skills. Make note of those you need to develop into strong and winning assets and then commit to working on them.

Improving your soft skills will have a positive impact on every part of your life.

10 Ways to Bless Someone This Holiday Season

One of life’s greatest rewards is helping those who are less fortunate. When we reach out and help those in need, not only does it bless the people’s lives we are helping, but it blesses our lives as well.

During this holiday season, let me encourage you to focus on the good things in your life for which you are grateful. While we would all love to live in a perfect world, none of us do. Instead of thinking negative thoughts about what you don’t have, focus on what you do have.

Will you give unselfishly of your time and/or resources this holiday season to serve or bless those who aren’t as fortunate as you? If you are a parent, read this post with your children and come up with an idea of how you can serve together.

To open your mind, here are some possibilities:

1. Remember our servicemen and their families. If there is a veteran’s home or hospital near you, send Christmas cards to several of our heroes, thanking them for their service and sacrifice. Taking cookies or candy is also a possibility. If you know of a wife, mother, or family of a soldier serving overseas, think of ways you can fill their loneliness and let them know people care about them.

2. Love a family member. Who in your extended family is going through a difficult time? How can you show your love and support to this family member? Ideas include sending an encouraging card, making a phone call on Christmas to say you are thinking of him or her, or taking this person to lunch or coffee and sharing the impact he or she has had on your life.

3. Give a gift of sponsorship. Rather than giving your friends or family members more “stuff” they don’t really need, why not give a gift to a charity in their name? You can give a gift that feeds a child, provides clean water for a community, rescues a child from sex slavery, or whatever it is you or the gift receiver are most passionate about.

4. Serve the homeless on Christmas morning. One of the most rewarding things my family has done on Christmas mornings is to serve the homeless. Getting up early, we take coffee, donuts, and little gift bags and go in search of homeless people to wish a Merry Christmas. This year we will be doing it with our four children and five grandchildren.

5. Visit a nursing home. Many elderly people in nursing homes will not have any family or friends visiting them this holiday season. Imagine sitting in a nursing home during the holidays by yourself.

If this is something that pulls on your heart, call your local nursing home and find out who doesn’t have family in town. Then take them some homemade goodies and spend time visiting with them.

6. Serve a neighbor in need. As you think about your neighbors, which one is having the hardest time this holiday season? It could be someone who has lost a loved one, is struggling financially, or is experiencing health challenges.

Does anyone come to mind? If so, how can you bless that family? Ideas include giving a homemade meal, a loaf of freshly baked bread, your famous holiday cookies, gifts for their children, or inviting them over for Christmas dinner.

7. Bless a single mom. The life of a single mom is a tough life. Do you know a single mom who is having a particularly difficult time? How can you make this holiday season brighter for her and her children? Would a card with an anonymous cash gift enhance their holidays?

8. Help a struggling co-worker. Who at your place of employment is going through a difficult period of time? It could be a divorce, illness, loss of a loved one, or some other challenge. Who comes to your mind? Now as you think about this person, what would be the best way to bless him or her?

9. Surprise a family in your community. Working through a local organization, you can learn about a family who is suffering from financial hardship. Then go shopping and deliver Christmas gifts, a turkey, and a couple of bags of food so they can enjoy Christmas.

If this is something you want to do, contact your church, synagogue, or work through a local organization that provides this service.

10. Out of-the-box idea. Okay, I have given you some basic ideas, but as you learned in my post Exploring a New World of Possibilities, the best ideas come when you stretch yourself. Whether it’s Christmas caroling with your friends or making Christmas cookies or candy for your office, there are 101 ways you can touch someone’s life this holiday season.

So what will you do? Will you give unselfishly of yourself to bless someone’s life this holiday season? What creative ideas do you have? Share what you are going to do in the comment section below this post.

When you give of yourself to serve others in need, you are demonstrating one of the most admirable character traits one can possess.

How to Handle Disagreements

How do you feel when someone disagrees with you? Do you feel attacked or offended? Does your posture change? Do you immediately feel the urge to respond and prove that you are right, or do you want to withdraw?

How do you feel when someone not only disagrees with you, but also makes negative or derogatory comments about your position?

When people disagree with our thinking, our natural tendency is to become defensive, often causing destructive results to people on both sides of the issue.

One of the skills we should all strive to master in our personal and professional lives is how to properly handle ourselves when we disagree with another person.

Disagree With Respect and Consideration

When it is necessary to disagree, you should always consider how the other person is going to feel and address the situation with respect and humility. When you are thoughtful in the way in which you disagree, you enjoy the following benefits:

• People will be more open to your point of view.
• People’s respect for you will grow.
• People will be more willing to share their opinions in the future.
• You will appear more professional and mature.
• You will feel better about yourself.
• Your emotions are less likely to turn negative.
• You will have more productive conversations.

On the other hand, when you lack humility and fail to show respect when expressing your disagreement, you will likely experience the following consequences:

• You offend and hurt others.
• You will be viewed as being egotistical.
• You run the risk of damaging a relationship.
• If you end up being wrong, you appear stupid or uninformed.
• If you truly care for others, you end up feeling bad and later apologizing.
• Your attitude will turn negative because your emotions are negative.
• People will be less supportive of your ideas, decisions, and points of view.

Pick Your Battles Wisely

The best advice I can offer is this: Do not dispute things that aren’t truly important to you. The day I stopped trying to debate every little thing was the day all my relationships improved and my life became more enjoyable. My marriage improved. My relationships with my children improved. My friendships grew deeper, and my work environment became more comfortable.

The next time you disagree with someone’s position, ask yourself, “Does it really matter? Do I need to point out why I think the other person is wrong?” If so, “What do I hope to accomplish?”

I have discovered that 90 percent of the time I disagree with someone, the upside of debating the issue is not worth the downside.

Seek to Understand

If the subject is one that is important, here’s what I have found works best: before stating your position, ask questions with a tone of respect, humility, and a genuine desire to learn how the other person reached his or her conclusion.

Here are some examples:

• Why do you feel that way?
• How did you reach that conclusion?
• How do you feel about…(something they may not have considered)?
• Have you thought about…(something they may not have considered)?
• How would you handle…(something that may go wrong)?

By asking questions with the sincere desire to understand the other person’s point of view, you will enjoy these benefits:

• You will understand how the other person reached his or her decision.
• You may change your opinion based on the new information.
• The other person may realize his or her position is flawed without you ever having to express your disagreement.
• The questions may help both of you reach a conclusion different than what each of you originally thought.
• You will be able to discuss the subject without anyone feeling defensive.

Protect Your Relationships

If you end up still disagreeing after having discussed the subject, handle yourself with dignity and class. We are as different on the inside as we look on the outside. We all have different life experiences that cause us to view situations differently. And always remember that what may be logical to you may not be logical to others.

Just because we may think we are right does not necessarily mean the other person is wrong. There have been many times when I was convinced I was right, but later learned I was wrong.

Also, keep in mind that disagreeing can take on many different forms. In addition to heated discussions or arguments, it could be as simple as giving people feedback on something they’ve done, ignoring a point they have made, or even showing disapproval through your body language.

Let me also encourage you to avoid expressing your disagreement through email or text messages. If you value your relationships, discuss opposing points of view in person. If that is not possible, then discuss them over the phone.

The next time you find yourself disagreeing with another person, ask, “Is this subject important to me?” If it is, ask questions with a genuine desire to understand the other person’s position. If you can’t reach an agreement, then be proud of the way you handle yourself.

Disagreements are inevitable. Handle yours tactfully: show respect for the other person’s position, listen patiently to all points, and, above all, protect your relationship.

Growing Your Market Value

Do you want to enjoy a more positive and productive life? If so, you must be committed to continuing your growth and development.

If you are not growing in this competitive work environment, you are losing ground to your competitors. Living a status-quo life where you are not pushing yourself to improve will likely have negative consequences. Over time, your market value will decline, you will lose your edge, your self-confidence will take a dive, and people who are hungrier than you will replace you.

In Brian Tracy’s foreword to my book, Little Things Matter, he said, “We are living in a turbulent and challenging world today. And, if anything, the achievement of the success you desire will be more difficult and challenging in the months and years ahead than it has ever been before. You need everything possible going for you if you are going to survive and thrive in the ‘new reality’ in which we live today.”

A close friend, who’s a highly successful money manager, sent me an email in response to Tuesday’s post How Much Money Do You Need to Retire? He wrote, “For those people who have not saved for their retirement, the clock is ticking. Incomes are shrinking and the expenses you can’t control (taxes, fees, inflation, etc.) are the ones that are going to hurt everyone in the wealth-building process. The best option for those who want to enjoy a comfortable retirement is to focus on growing their income NOW.”

Building Your Income

If you are serious about growing yourself and building your market value, my best advice is this:

1.  Identify, focus on, and master the little things related to your job description.

2.  Identify, focus on, and master the little things that make you a better person.

Let’s take a close look at both.

Mastering the Little Things Related to Your Job Description

Regardless of whether you are a business owner, an independent contractor, or an employee, you have core responsibilities that must be fulfilled for you to earn an income.

Do you have a written job description provided by your employer? If so, review it and evaluate how well you are performing each of your responsibilities. Think of ways you can improve.

If you don’t have a written job description, write your own. Make a list of all your basic responsibilities. This includes the things you are expected to do—the tasks you are paid to do. Identify the little things you can do that will improve your performance. Then add to your list the unassigned, unexpected little extra things you can do to enhance your value.

As an example, volunteering to help a co-worker or picking up a dirty coffee cup in the parking lot. Remember that every little thing you do beyond your designated duties makes you a more valued person to your company and community.

As you go through this process, write down every point that comes to mind. Set a goal to make a list of 100 things. Break the big tasks down into little things. Become aware of all the things you must do, and then strive for excellence as you perform them.

Post this question on the wall of your workspace: “How can I perform my responsibilities at a higher level today?” Read it daily and continue to look for ways to improve whatever you do.

I would also suggest asking your employer and respected co-workers for their advice on where you can improve. It takes courage, but what you learn may be the most important thing you can do to increase your value.

Mastering the Little Things That Make You a Better Person

Far too often, people focus exclusively on the things they need to do to achieve their goals and overlook who they need to become to be worthy of achieving their goals.

Jim Rohn, one of my favorite teachers, said, “For your life to get better, you must get better.”

Brian Tracy said, “To achieve what you’ve never achieved before, you must become someone you’ve never been before.”

Most people in the U.S. are simply trading hours for dollars and doing the minimum to get by. I see fewer than 5 percent of the people putting any real effort into growing themselves and less than 1 percent who are striving for excellence to be the best at what they do.

Growing personally is something you can do today to build your value. It doesn’t require going back to school, taking risks, or changing careers. It just requires that you have the desire to grow and become a better person.

The benefits go far beyond the money. You will feel great about the person you are becoming. Your energy and motivation will grow, resulting in increased productivity. You will be more likable, respected, and influential. You will be more fulfilled, and your life’s journey will become more enjoyable.

I challenge you to step up your game by mastering the little things that increase your value in the marketplace. Remember, income follows value, so if you want to increase your income, you must first increase your value. Make this the year that you push yourself harder than you have ever pushed before. Will you do it?

If you are truly committed to growing and developing yourself, I highly suggest reading my 280-page hardcover book or listening to my audiobook, Little Things Matter. It contains more than 100 lessons that have helped me average over one million dollars a year in earnings for 20+ years.

Performing your basic responsibilities well is only the beginning. Going the extra mile at your job and doing the little things to become a better person will make you stand out from the crowd in your field and in your community.

In the comment area below, please share how you plan to increase your value to the marketplace or become a better person.

Conducting a Year-end Financial Review

In my post You Can’t Improve What you Don’t Measure, I explained why measuring your performance is critical to achieving your goals. Whether in business, sports, school, or any area of life, you can’t improve what you don’t measure. The same rule applies to your personal finances.

As we move into the final month of the year, I want to encourage you to take time to review your finances, make refinements, and set new goals. If you do this, you’ll be more likely to achieve your long-term financial objectives. You’ll feel like you’re in control of your money, and you’ll enjoy the peace that comes from knowing you have a plan. As part of this process, you will learn these things:

• Your total net worth (assets – liabilities = net worth)
• The categories in which you were over or under your budget
• Where you need to make refinements in your budget
• How your assets performed
• The areas you need to refine in your investment portfolio

Discovering your net worth

The first thing I do in this year-end activity is update my net-worth ledger. A simple Excel document lists my assets. Next to each asset, I enter what I believe is the fair market value for that asset. Some are easy to determine—such as the value of my stock-market investments; however, other investments—such as my real estate holdings—require an honest assessment of their true value. Then I list my liabilities. At the end of the document, I subtract my liabilities from my assets to determine my year-end net worth.

Whether you make your list of assets and liabilities on a pad of paper or on your computer, your goal is to determine your total net worth. This allows you to see how well you performed in relation to your goals and serves as a new baseline upon which to build in the upcoming year.

Examining how the budget performed

Having a personal budget is a critical element in living a financially-responsible life. Once it is established, you must have the self-control and discipline not to exceed it. People who don’t set and live by a personal budget are unlikely to ever get ahead.

At the end of each year, I create a final budget report. This report lists all the categories such as groceries, gasoline, auto repairs, vacation, charitable giving, mortgage payments, real estate taxes, and so on. To the right of each category are two vertical columns. The first column shows the amount of money budgeted for a specific category and the second shows the actual amount spent. I use a financial software program called Quicken, which allows me to create this report in a matter of minutes.

My wife and I sit down and review this report, line item by line item, and discuss each one. If we were below budget, we discuss why. If we were over budget, we review our expenses to determine what happened.

Establishing a new budget for a new year

After we discuss our plans and goals for the upcoming year, we go back over the report to guide us as we create a new budget for the upcoming year. This includes categories where we are going to reduce spending and others where we are going to increase our spending. When this task is done, we have an agreed-upon budget for the upcoming year.

If you are married, be sure to go through this process together. A budget is something both parties in the relationship must understand, agree to, and be committed to following.

Evaluating the performance of assets

While I monitor the performance of my assets throughout the year, I always do a complete review and evaluation each December.

As part of this evaluation process, I meet with my financial advisor who manages a part of my investment portfolio. I seek his opinion on the market conditions and changes we need to consider to meet my financial objectives. We discuss my current income, special financial needs in the next 12 months, and my current risk tolerance.

In addition, I seek the counsel of some wise friends whom I respect and trust. My goal is to get their input on our current market conditions and learn what their plan is for the upcoming year.

When this process is completed, I make my final decisions and put together my investment plan for the new year.

Setting financial goals for the new year

As part of my year-end financial review, I set my net-worth goals for the upcoming year. This includes the amount of money I am committed to saving and the results I expect to achieve with my investments. I put these goals in writing, follow my plan, and monitor my results throughout the year to make sure I am on the right track.

My challenge to you

Block out a full day between now and the end of the year to work on your financial goals and plan for 2011. As part of your plan, make sure you have a household budget that includes saving for future needs. If you did not follow a budget for 2010, read Become the Captain of Your Financial Ship and make the commitment to start in 2011.

Proper money management is the foundation of asset accumulation.

What type of financial decisions do you make at the end of each year? How do you put together your financial plan for the upcoming year? Please share your insights and ideas in the comment section below this post.

10 Verbal-communication Skills Worth Mastering

Last week, I read the blog post 7 Personal Branding Predictions for 2011 by personal-branding expert Dan Schawbel. One of his seven predictions for 2011 was that soft skills will become more important than hard skills.

Dan said, “When enough people have similar talents and are competing for the same positions and opportunities, the real differentiator is your interpersonal skills. The way you present yourself, how you communicate with other people, whether it’s in an interview or with management at work, can make or break your personal brand. More and more people are starting to realize that the little things matter, especially in our current competitive environment.”

Schawbel then went on to highlight a new research report by Kelly Services conducted with 134,000 people. According to the survey, the traits individuals identify as the most important in creating their personal brands were their verbal communication skills.

This made me ask myself, “What are some of the top verbal communication skills that people need to master if they want to stand out from their competitors?”

Below are my top 10 verbal communication tips we should all strive to master. Each of these is just as important in our personal lives as in our professional lives. By improving your verbal communication skills, you will quickly connect and build rapport, earn respect, gain influence, and become more likable and accepted.

1.  Be friendly. People who communicate with a friendly tone and warm smile almost always have the edge. The reason is simple: we are subconsciously drawn to people who are friendly because they make us feel good and bring more enjoyment to our lives.

2.  Think before you speak. One of my favorite English proverbs is “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” I find that many people say whatever goes through their minds without putting any thought into what they are saying. As a result, they say things that end up reflecting poorly on themselves.

3. Be clear. Most of us don’t have the time nor do we want to spend our emotional energy to figure out what someone else is trying to say. People who are indirect in their verbal communication and who tend to hint at things without saying what’s really on their minds are seldom respected. When there is something you want to say, ask yourself, “What is the clearest way I can communicate this point?”

4.  Don’t talk too much. Last week, I met with a personal chef. At first, I was impressed with him and considered hiring him for an upcoming event. However, the more he talked, the less impressed I became. Very few people like to be around someone who talks too much and dominates the conversation.

5.  Be your authentic self. Today, (more than at any time during my lifetime), people are turned off by those people who feel the need to put on a show to make their point. Instead, people are attracted to someone who speaks from the heart and is genuine, transparent, and real.

6. Practice humility. Humility is having a modest view of one’s own importance. It is one of the most attractive personality traits one can possess and is one of the most significant predictors of someone who is respected. People who speak with humility and genuine respect for others are almost always held in high regard.

7.  Speak with confidence. You don’t have to sacrifice self-confidence to practice humility. Confidence is a self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s true abilities, whereas humility is having a modest opinion of one’s own importance. Speaking with confidence includes the words you choose, the tone of your voice, your eye contact, and body language.

8.  Focus on your body language. When you are engaged in face-to-face verbal communication, your body language can play as significant of a role in the message you communicate as the words you speak. Your body language communicates respect and interest. It puts real meaning behind your words.

9  Be concise. Very few things are more irritating to me than when someone can’t get to the point of what he or she is trying to say. Plan ahead. Constantly ask yourself, “How can I say what needs to be said using the fewest number of words possible while still being courteous and respectful?”

10. Learn the art of listening. Being an attentive listener is more important in verbal communication than any words that can come out of your mouth. You must show a sincere interest in what is being said, ask good questions, listen to the message within the message, and avoid interrupting.

Bonus Tip:

Verbal Modeling. People are naturally drawn to people like themselves. This is why many of your friends share common interests. You can use this law of human nature to your advantage by matching people’s voice tones and modulation. If they are speaking softly, speak softly. If they are speaking slowly, then model their speed by talking slowly. If they are speaking with energy, then match their energy. The more you speak like others, the more they will like you.

I encourage you to put a greater emphasis on growing and developing yourself in this area. Your efforts will enhance your relationships, increase your market value, and build your self-esteem. Improving your verbal communication skills requires constant awareness, intentional effort, and the desire to improve.

How you communicate with others verbally plays a defining role in your personal brand, impacting both your personal and professional life.

What verbal communication skills have I left off the list? How do you think people could improve their verbal communication skills? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below this post.

Give Thanks With a Grateful Heart

This week, we will observe Thanksgiving Day in the United States of America—a day when family and friends gather for a time of celebration and feasting. Soon your turkey and stuffing will be in the oven and pleasant aromas will fill the kitchen.

Before we begin our celebration, let’s take a peek back to four centuries ago when Americans celebrated their first Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving Day Long Ago

For 66 days, a sailing vessel called the Mayflower carried 102 pilgrims across the stormy Atlantic Ocean and landed at Plymouth Rock in Massachusetts on December 11, 1620. During that first cold winter, 46 pilgrims died. In the spring of 1621, the Wampanoag Indians taught the pilgrims how to cultivate the land—growing corn, beans, and pumpkins which helped them survive.

At harvest time, the colonists were so grateful for their bountiful crops that Governor William Bradford organized the first Thanksgiving feast, inviting their neighbors—Wampanoag Indians. With joy and thanksgiving, they expressed their gratitude and appreciation to God for their bountiful harvest.

Many years later, in 1789, President George Washington wrote a proclamation recommending to the… “people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God . . . Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November . . . that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country . . .”

Thanksgiving Day Today

So it has been that for over two centuries. Thanksgiving Day has become a joyous festival celebrated with a lot of enthusiasm. People have gathered together to thank God for His past blessings and to enjoy the warm fellowship of family and friends.

However, over the last 50 years, Thanksgiving Day has lost its original significance. For many people, it has simply become a time when families come together to eat turkey and watch football.

As we prepare to celebrate this Thanksgiving with our family and friends, I encourage you, regardless of where you live in the world, to stop and reflect on the things for which you are grateful.

In our busy and demanding lives, it’s easy to focus on our challenges and overlook the things we are truly blessed to enjoy. It’s easy to lament what we don’t have, rather than appreciate what we do have. We would all benefit from the words of Epictetus, a stoic Greek philosopher, who said, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

When we focus on all the positive things in our lives, we will find more joy, satisfaction, and happiness. Our lives will take on greater meaning and our hearts will be filled with love and gratitude.

My Challenge to You

1.  Make a list of all the things for which you are thankful. Stretch yourself to make a list of 50 people, things, or events. This can include the names of family, friends, co-workers, and others whose relationships you value. Include your religious affiliations, your pastor or priest. Include our country and the servicemen who are protecting our land and our rights. It can also include your physical being, material possessions, and conveniences we so often take for granted. Parents, let me encourage you to have your children participate in this exercise.

2.  After making this list, take some quiet time and reflect on everything you have listed. In the words of Thornton Wilder, “We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”

3.  Express your gratitude to the people you’ve listed. It could be a hand-written note, a personalized email, a text message, or a phone call. Whatever method you choose to use, make it personal and heartfelt. Let these people know how you feel about them and how special they are to you.

If the weight of your challenges makes it difficult to give thanks, reflect back on how the pilgrims must have felt. “The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than those who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.” H. U. Westermayer.

Don’t take anything you have for granted.  Instead, express your gratitude for all your many blessings—great and small.

We’d like to hear from you.  Please share your comments below.  What are some hidden blessings that you have recently become aware of?  Have you come to appreciate something that you took for granted in the past?  Have you come to appreciate a person whom you took for granted in the past?

Giving Back

I am writing this post on my final day here in Africa.  It has been a great trip. While much of the trip has been spent providing food, clothing, love, and prayer for some of the most desperate people in the world, I feel refreshed and full of life.

This trip has reinforced my belief that when you help others, you help yourself. Think of the last time you gave of yourself to help someone. It could have been jump-starting someone’s car, a meal you made for a friend who was sick, or serving at the local homeless shelter. How did it make you feel?

When you take your resources, whether it is your time, talent, or money to help others, there is something about the experience that fills you up and brings greater joy and satisfaction to your life.

The American Culture

Americans are the most generous people in the world, measured by charitable giving as a percent of GDP. Despite the deep economic recession, charitable giving in 2009 topped $300 billion.

The instinct to rally around a cause to serve a greater need has been part of our country dating back to 1630 when John Winthrop led a group of English Puritans to Massachusetts Bay and imparted the “model of Christian charity.”  He said, “We must bear one another’s burdens.  We must not look only on our own things but also the things of our brethren.”

In settlements like Jamestown and Plymouth, neighbors depended on each other to survive the drought, blistering heat, lack of food, and harsh winters

In the mid-to-late 18^th century, public service became less of a Christian mission and more of a civic duty. The stories of how people gave of themselves to help others are endless, from Harriet Tubman who led more than 300 slaves to freedom through the Underground Railroad to volunteers who collected more than 4 billion dimes between 1938-1955 for polio research, we have come together as a country to help others.

Not only have we been a nation to help our own people, but we have also come together to help people around the world. One of the Africans told me if it weren’t for America, half of Africa would be dead.  While that’s likely an exaggeration, the fact is people around the world have a great deal of respect for our humanitarian efforts.

Quite frankly, I was nervous about how I would be treated here in Africa, but I was blown away by the love I felt from the people. Everywhere my wife and I went, people went out of their way to smile, wave, and say hello. It was almost as if when they saw a Caucasian, they knew they were there to help them.

When disaster struck Haiti earlier this year, Americans rallied to donate their time and money. There were so many doctors and nurses from America who volunteered to help, a waiting list had to be created. Millions of other Americans helped by donating money or jumping on planes to serve the people of Haiti.

Find the Right Fit for You

Helping others can look 1001 different ways.  It can be shoveling snow for an elderly neighbor, filling up a friend’s car with gas that is suffering from financial hardship, or being one of the 63 million Americans who are part of an organized volunteer effort.

I want to challenge you to look at how blessed you really are and consider how you can help others. To open your mind to the possibilities, ask yourself these questions:

• How can I best use my skills, talents, and abilities to help others?
• Where does my greatest interest and passion lie and how can that best be used to serve others?
• When I look at the needs in my community, what can I do to help?
• As I watch the news and see the desperate conditions in some of the third-world nations, what can I offer those people?
• Is my church putting together a mission trip? If so, would I be willing to use my vacation time to go and serve?

Regardless of your interests, temperament, or availability, a wide range of opportunities can be found, each offering its own benefits.

Let me encourage you to stop focusing exclusively on your own needs and desires and start looking at what you can do to help others. I bet you will find more joy and fulfillment when you change your focus from your selfish desires to using your gifts and resources to help others.

Parents, I want to once again remind you that what you do sets an example for your children. As you give of yourself to help others, not only will you be setting the right example for your children, but also their respect for you will grow. According to Carole Weisman, author of Raising Charitable Children, “Teaching your child to be charitable means he will grow up thinking of others.”

Please take five minutes of quiet time right now and consider how you can help.

When you help others, you not only make their world better, but you make yours better too.

Overcoming Procrastination

We all procrastinate at some time or other—it’s part of being human. We frequently put off doing things that we know we should do for a multitude of reasons. In today’s lesson, you will learn why most people procrastinate and how to overcome procrastination and become a do-it-now person.

Why Become a Do-It-Now Person?

The most valuable benefits of being a person who performs responsibilities in a timely manner include an improved self-image and stronger self-confidence. In our careers, we will be more respected, produce at a higher level, and be offered opportunities for advancement. In our personal lives, we will enjoy more meaningful relationships, be a better example to our children, and find greater fulfillment in life.

On the other end of the spectrum, when you consistently put things off and fail to follow through with your responsibilities and commitments, the results can be devastating. Common effects include depression, guilt, poor productivity, social disapproval, unemployment, reduced wages, and low self-worth.

Procrastination is the deferment of tasks to a later time. Because of the simplicity of the definition, one might think the solution is also simple—to do what you know you should do even though you don’t feel like doing it. But, it’s not that easy for many people.

Common Causes of Procrastination

The first step in overcoming procrastination is to understand why you procrastinate. If you don’t understand something, you can’t control it. If you can’t control it, you can’t change it.

Let’s take a look at some of the main causes of procrastination. Make a note of the ones you feel are at the root of your problem.

• Feeling another time would be better. You believe that tomorrow you will be fresher and better prepared to do it.

• Poor planning.  You underestimate how long something will take. This is a common problem when taking on unfamiliar projects and responsibilities.

• Fearful of the outcome.  Your fear of rejection or disapproval, of failure or even success keeps you from tackling the job.

• Feeling overburdened.  Discouragement, anxiety, and stress are results from feeling overwhelmed and out of control and can cause you to procrastinate.

• Lack of confidence.  You have a low evaluation of yourself and your abilities; you avoid accepting/doing an assignment.

• Poor concentration.  You find it difficult to stay focused on the job until it is complete.

• Feeling uncomfortable.  You tend to put off activities that make you feel stretched beyond what you have done before. You prefer to stay in your comfort zone.

• Inadequate motivation.  The outcome is not truly important to you so you’re not motivated to start the task.

• Fulfilling your beliefs.  You believe you are a procrastinator so you live up to your expectations of yourself.

Methods for Overcoming Procrastination

Once you identify the cause of your procrastination, you then need to identify one or more solutions that will allow you to take control of your responsibilities and commitments and do them in a timely manner. Here are some solutions that will help all of us be more disciplined in doing what we should do.

• Get clear on what’s important to you. Make sure the things you are pursuing are things that are deeply important to you. Then spend your time pursuing them and saying no to the things that aren’t important.

• Believe you can. Refuse to believe anything negative about yourself or your abilities. You are an amazing creation. Adopt the attitude that you can do anything you put your mind to because you can.

• Work from a prioritized daily to-do list One of the best ways to overcome procrastination is to get organized and start keeping a prioritized to-do list. After you complete your list, make a commitment to yourself that you will work the list in a priority sequence and not skip over any tasks.

• Break big projects down into small manageable pieces. If you have a project to complete, start by breaking it down into bite-sized pieces. When all the individual components have been identified, put them into a logical priority sequence and get started.

• Learn how to plan and organize projects. When you have a project that will require one or more hours of your time, block out time in your schedule to work on the project. This allows you to focus on your work without distractions.

• Do the easy things. Start doing the easy things that will build your confidence, such as answering your email, taking out the overflowing garbage, and making the bed. As you build your confidence in doing the little things, you will feel more confident and motivated to do the bigger things.

• Push yourself outside your comfort zone. As Dale Carnegie said, “Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”

• Encourage yourself. When you push yourself to do something you know you should do but don’t feel like doing, congratulate yourself. Become your biggest fan.

• Make a commitment to overcome procrastination. If you really want to win the procrastination battle to advance your life personally and professionally and improve how you view and feel about yourself, make the commitment that you will become a do-it-NOW person.

My Challenge

Print out this lesson and study it. Spend some quiet time thinking about why you procrastinate and what led to the problem. When you feel you are clear on your reasons, put into writing the steps you are committed to taking to overcome procrastination. Then push yourself harder than you have ever pushed yourself to do the things you know you should do when you should do them. It won’t be easy but, with focus and determination, you can do it.

Because procrastination can have devastating consequences, it’s to your advantage to take action today.  Don’t procrastinate conquering your procrastination.

Have you struggled with procrastination? What has helped you in winning the procrastination battle?  Please share your insights in the comment section below this post.

130 Time-management Tips

Click Here to Download This Report.

One of the most important keys to personal and professional success lies in how you spend your time. Each day contains twenty-four hours, but how we spend those hours is what separates people who enjoy lives of happiness, fulfillment, and success from those who experience lives filled with frustration, disappointment, and often failure.

When Olympic athletes train, no detail of their performance is overlooked—from computerized motion studies to the fabric of their clothing and the customization of each shoe. Mastering time management is much the same. In order to work smarter but not harder, you must examine—and be willing to make changes to—everything you do to improve effectiveness, efficiency, and performance.

This special report outlines 130 simple, easy-to-implement, time-management tips and techniques. Some have universal applicability. Others are specifically related to career, communication, or technology. I encourage you to download the report and print it. As you read it, you may want to highlight the tips that are most relevant to your circumstances and consider developing a personalized list.

Remember that the first step in becoming an effective time manager is to have the desire to be more productive and smarter with how you use your time. It must be something that is important to you or you won’t do what is required to develop solid time-management skills.

Understanding, practicing, and maximizing how your time is spent is a journey. Proficiency won’t happen overnight, but, as is the case with all of the “little things,” repeated effort will be rewarded. By becoming more effective and efficient, you’ll take control of your workload, rather than your workload taking control of you.

Let’s get started.

1.  Determine your hourly rate. If you have a goal to make $100,000 a year working 40 hours a week, your rate would be $48 an hour or 80 cents a minute. You will NEVER make this amount of money until such time as you start valuing your time at $48 an hour or 80 cents a minute. How much do you want to earn? Figure out your hourly rate and start valuing your time accordingly.

2.  Identify your productivity patterns. Identify the times of the day when you are most productive and focus your energy on doing your most important activities during those times. You will find that you are able to get more work done in a shorter amount of time and your sense of accomplishment and satisfaction will grow.

3.  Establish a calling schedule. Schedule your personal and low-priority business calls during windows of time when your energy level is at its lowest. Since talking on the phone is one of the easiest things to do, it’s best to schedule your calls during your lull periods.

4.  Focus on what you can control. Don’t waste time worrying or thinking about things you can’t control. The negative energy and time spent is a huge time waster. Instead, focus your time on the things you can control that lead you on the path to achieving your goals.

5.  Refine your systems. Look at everything you do with frequency and determine if there is a more efficient way to perform your daily activities, such as how you prepare meals, fill up your car with gas, read and respond to emails, clean the house, and get ready in the morning. When you look for the little things you can do to improve your productivity, your time savers and time wasters will become obvious.

6.  Overcome procrastination. If you are serious about achieving your goals, you must become a do-it-now person. You will never achieve any worthwhile goal if you are a procrastinator. If you struggle with procrastination, devote some time to figuring out why. Once you know the cause of the problem, you can concentrate on a solution that will help you use your time productively.

7.  Establish a routine. Routines increase productivity. It’s easier to identify shortcuts and efficiencies when we are familiar with what needs to be done. Routines make it easier to do the things you know you should do.

8.  Move with purpose. Successful people are always in motion. They don’t stand on moving sidewalks or walk slowly. They move with a purpose and get to where they are going.

9.  Keep your energy high. We all agree that we are more productive when our energy levels are high. Exercising, eating right, getting our rest, and enjoying an occasional healthy energy drink or cup of coffee will help. Listen to your body; pay attention to everything—those things that either give you energy or draw energy from you.

10.  Think positively. Where your attention goes, so goes your emotional energy. When you think of negative things, your energy and productivity drop. Maintaining a positive attitude is one of the most essential ingredients to your productivity.

11.  Create an action plan. Just as you would not be successful in building a home without a set of blueprints, it’s doubtful you would be successful in achieving any significant goal without an action plan. A well-developed action plan clarifies everything you need to do to achieve your goal, outlines a prioritized sequence of steps, and serves as a method for measuring your progress.

12.  Focus on your goals. If you struggle with staying focused and on task, start each day by reviewing your goals. Take the time to create a collage of pictures to visualize the life you can experience if you achieve your goals. This powerful technique will keep you motivated and focused on doing the correct activities.

13.  Structure your time according to your goals. Your time should always be spent doing things that help you achieve your goals and bring fulfillment to your life. Plan your days and determine how you will use your time most productively to accomplish your goals.

14.  Take pride in what you do. When you complete a task with excellence, you not only take pride in what you do, but you also save time by not having to repeat the activity. You will also find that people’s respect for you will grow.

15.  Keep a to-do list. There is no time-management tip more important than keeping a prioritized daily to-do list. It removes the guesswork from how to spend your time and with whom to spend it. A to-do list helps reduce stress, clarifies what you should or shouldn’t be doing, and keeps you from forgetting things.

16. Do what requires the most discipline first. As you plan your day, make sure you block out time to do the things first that require the most discipline. Whether it’s prospecting, exercising, or writing a proposal, do it first. If you commit to doing the hardest things first, you not only do them with greater consistency, but you also feel great the rest of the day.

17.  Schedule effectively. Efficient scheduling involves looking at the time available to you in a day, an afternoon, or a week, and planning how you will use it to achieve your goals. When done well, it helps you understand what you can realistically achieve with your time and it minimizes stress by avoiding over-commitment.

18.  Devote an hour on Sunday to plan and mentally prepare for the upcoming week. Verify appointment times, check family commitments, and make any necessary decisions about the days ahead so you can hit the ground running on Monday morning. If you have projects that must be completed, block out times in your schedule to work on these tasks.

19.  Combine errands. As you plan your day, schedule to run all your errands at the same time. Also, consider the most time-efficient route to get them all completed in the least amount of time possible.

20.  Mail it. Remember: time is money. Never waste your time dropping off something that could be mailed or shipped for less money than the value of your time.

21.  Delegate tasks. The best use of your time is in doing things that only you can do. Identify things on your to-do list that don’t have to be done by you. Can you delegate some of the items to co-workers? Can you outsource projects? Can you have your spouse mail a package for you? Can you have your children make copies, stuff envelopes, and apply stamps?

22.  Communicate your schedule. After you’ve taken time to plan and organize your schedule, don’t keep it to yourself. When you need people to do something for you, let them know in advance so they can schedule their time accordingly. You also want to communicate your schedule with the people who rely on you so they know when you are available. This saves time for everyone.

23.  Keep a notepad or recorder handy. Save time by writing down or recording future to-do items and tasks when you think of them. A small pad of paper in your purse, a recorder in your car, or a portfolio that goes wherever you go is all you need.

24.  Maintain one calendar or appointment book. Keeping an appointment book improves your productivity and reduces the risk of forgetting things. If you have more than one calendar, combine them. Maintaining multiple calendars can be confusing and is a surefire way to miss appointments and deadlines.

25.  Keep an activity log. One way to begin using your time more efficiently is to know how it’s being spent. Just as you track expenses for financial budgeting purposes, it’s wise to maintain an activity log to assess productivity. Keep a time journal or download inexpensive time-tracking software from the internet. Try this: for one week, record how you spend your time. You will be amazed at how much time is spent on things that won’t help you achieve your goals.

26.  Use a stopwatch. Use a stopwatch to measure the amount of time you are spending each day on the tasks that help you achieve your goals. It’s easy to confuse activity with accomplishment. By measuring how much time you are investing in productive activities, you will see how much time you are wasting on unproductive activities.

27.  Make use of down time. Down time is time spent waiting at the doctor’s office, waiting in the school pick-up line, or anywhere else you need to be but aren’t otherwise occupied. Plan ahead and use this time wisely.

28.  Make your breaks productive. Do you need to schedule a doctor’s appointment, check on a friend who’s going through a challenging period, or confirm the kid’s schedule? Start looking at your breaks as periods of time when you can knock out some of your personal to-do list items.

29.  Reduce the time you spend eating lunch. Consider how you can reduce the amount of time you allocate to lunch in the middle of your workday. How about packing a lunch and eating at your desk?

30.  Touch it once. If you read an email, respond immediately. If you open a letter, act on it, throw it away, or do something with it so you don’t have to touch it again. Rather than putting your glass and plate in the sink, put it in the dishwasher. Set a goal to only touch things ONE time.

31.  Be smart about multitasking. Multitasking can improve efficiency in some areas, such as returning and scheduling calls during your drive time or listening to self-development audio while exercising; however, it can also reduce productivity because you can’t effectively focus on two things at once. It can also be disrespectful. For instance, returning emails while talking to someone on the phone or scanning your phone for messages during a meeting. Ask yourself, “Is my multitasking helping me or hurting me?”

32.  Manage interruptions. Every time you are interrupted, you lose 10 minutes of productivity. This is the amount of time it takes you to return to the original state of focus before the distraction occurred. Turn off electronic notifications, close your door, and silence your phone when you need an uninterrupted block of time to work on your tasks. It may be difficult at first, but establishing boundaries will help you accomplish more in less time.

33.  Don’t stop everything. When you get interrupted because someone has something that needs to get done, don’t stop everything you are doing to do it now. Consider what you are working on and other priorities and place it where it belongs in the sequence on your to-do list.

34.  Turn off unnecessary notifications. Every notification you get on your computer or phone is an interruption that diverts your attention, stymies productivity, and annoys those around you.

35.  Set email boundaries. Use self-control and only check email two to three times a day (unless you are in a business that requires you to continually monitor your emails). Constantly checking and returning emails is a time waster.

36.  Limit social media use. Unless you are using social media to grow your business, limit the amount of time you spend on such sites as Facebook and Twitter. If it is part of your business-marketing efforts, determine the return you are getting on your efforts and decide if the return is worth the time. Be honest with yourself; if you are spending too much time on these sites, set boundaries and stick with them.

37.  Allocate the appropriate amount of time. If you allow people 30 minutes of your time to discuss something, it will take 30 minutes. If you give them 20 minutes, it will take 20 minutes. Determine how much time you should allocate to someone’s request, and tell them upfront how much time you have blocked out.

38.  Don’t give away your time easily. When someone asks for a block of your time, be clear on their purpose before committing. Knowing that people are often selfish and focus on their own needs and desires, make sure their purpose is consistent with how you should be spending your time.

39.  Maximize drive time. CDs, MP3s, and Bluetooth devices make wonderful car companions. With these devices, you can safely use your drive time to listen to self-improvement audio programs or return your calls.

40.  Spot time wasters. As you go about your day, be on the lookout for unproductive activities. Find ways to eliminate them or approach those things differently.

41.  Create a not-to-do list and honor it. When you agree to do things you later regret (because it was not the best use of your time), make a mental note and avoid doing them in the future.

42.  Get overwhelmed. Sounds weird, right? While you don’t want to stay overwhelmed for an extended period of time, there is a lot you can learn from these periods. Study the times when you are overwhelmed to determine why you are overloaded and how you can be wiser and more productive with your time.

43.  Take time to recharge. A constant state of stress and overwork slows you down. Make sure you schedule a time to refresh and recharge your batteries. This includes taking one day off each week when you can rest and do what you enjoy with the people who are most important to you.

44.  Tell people your preferred method of communication. For most of us, email is our preferred method of communicating because of its numerous time-saving benefits. Having people communicate with you via email allows you to return emails at times that are most convenient for you.

45.  Turn off Notifications. It is impossible to get into a flow when constantly interrupted. Turn off notifications on your phone or computer that aren’t critical to your work.

46.  Schedule calls through email. If you need to speak with someone, consider sending a quick email asking for their availability to talk during a couple of windows of time when you are available. You’ll accomplish two things: you won’t interrupt them and you’ll avoid playing phone tag.

47.  Record a clear voicemail greeting. Your voicemail greeting should ask people to leave a detailed message with the purpose of the call and the best time to return it. Then you’ll know when to call back or whether you can deal with the issue by email.

48.  Leave a message. If you call someone, you obviously had a reason for placing the call, so don’t hang up without leaving a clear and detailed message stating the purpose of your call. If you are requesting a return call, indicate the windows of time you will be available to receive the call.

49.  Be clear and concise. When you communicate with people orally or in writing, get to the point quickly while still being cordial. This will save you time and improve the impression you make on others.

50.  Introduce yourself. When you call someone’s home or place of business, introduce yourself, such as “Hi, this is Mark Williams. Is Pam Johnson available?” Now the other person does not have to say, “May I ask who is calling?”

51.  Don’t return missed calls. If someone calls you but does not leave a message (unless it’s a family member or close friend), don’t call back. If their call was not important enough to leave a message, then there’s no need for you to return it.

52.  Improve phone productivity. When someone requests to speak with you, let them know how much time you allocated for the call before diving into the subject of the call. This generally helps them get right to the point.

53.  Know when to end a call. When the purpose of a call has been met, politely end the conversation. Don’t allow calls to drag on with unnecessary small talk.

54.  Don’t answer unscheduled calls. If you are in the middle of a project and your phone rings, don’t stop what you are doing to answer the phone unless it’s important. Instead, let it go to voicemail and return the call between projects or during windows of time you have designated for returning calls.

55.  Economize your conversations. Be mindful of the time you spend in non-essential conversations. Water-cooler discussions or a lengthy phone chat is time you could be working on your planning, goals, or action items.

56.  Give people instructions. If someone needs to get back to you with important information, ask them to send you a short email with the answer. Or, if they are calling you back, ask them to please leave the answer on your voicemail if you don’t answer.

57.  Update your speed dial numbers. You can easily gain efficiency by making sure that the numbers you call most often are at your fingertips. Take the time to program them into your cell or office phone line.

58.  Calling vs. email. We’re so used to firing off an email that we sometimes forget it may be faster and easier to call. Even if you can’t reach the other party, leaving a voicemail message may take far less time than composing an email. If it’s a subject that you know will require back-and-forth communication, a call may be more efficient.

59.  Use an email client. Email programs such as Microsoft Outlook, Mozilla Thunderbird, Windows Mail, Mac Mail, or Mac Entourage can improve productivity. With these programs, your emails are downloaded onto your computer, allowing you to respond to emails when you are offline and return them when you are online. These programs also offer numerous time-saving benefits.

60.  Check one email Inbox. Even though you may have multiple email addresses, have all your emails come into one email inbox. This option is available with all popular email clients, such as those listed in the previous point.

61.  Don’t hit the refresh button. Unless you are waiting on something important to arrive in your email Inbox, don’t hit the refresh button on your email program or on a social media site simply because you want to get fresh content or to feed your social networking addiction. Red alert: big time waster!

62.  Organize your websites. Make “unsorted bookmarks” a thing of the past. Use a free bookmarking service (e.g., delicious.com) to store, organize, and tag all your bookmarked sites and access them from any computer.

63.  Put your phone on Do Not Disturb. When working on projects or part of meetings, put your phone on Do Not Disturb so you aren’t interrupted. This will allow you to be more productive and get into the flow!

64.  Map it. Take advantage of free internet-mapping services or a GPS device in your vehicle to help you find the shortest route to where you’re going and avoid delays. Many of these programs help you locate businesses you may need to visit on the same route to save you time.

65.  Use templates. Reduce formatting time with user-friendly templates. Find them online or create your own for your most commonly used documents.

66.  Leverage technology. The number of devices and software programs available is growing each day. Whether you’re a “gadget geek” or a “networking newbie,” there are countless programs to help you be more efficient with your time. But beware there are an equal number that are time killers.

67.  Two computer screens. If you work with multiple applications or programs, using two computer screens to save time from opening and closing multiple screens may be helpful.

68.  Create a filing system that suits you. Not all filing systems are created equal. What makes sense to one person may not be intuitive to you. Evaluate the best technique for your situation.

69.  Maintain an orderly office. An organized office is an efficient office. Keep things in order so you don’t have to waste time searching for items later.

70.  Put personal items where you can find them. Put your keys, purse, wallet, sunglasses, and other things you use regularly in designated spots.

71.  Don’t start projects you are not committed to finishing. One of the biggest time wasters is spending large portions of our lives pursuing side projects that we eventually abandon. Before you take on any part-time business, hobby, or project, do your research. Learn what’s involved and identify the amount of time that it will take to be successful.

72.  Harness the power of your team. When you are faced with a large project or anything that takes a great deal of time, don’t forget about the other members of your team. Consider who you can enlist to help. When you provide others with opportunities for participation, it helps them grow and saves you time.

73.  Leverage knowledge. Don’t rely on trial and error for new tasks or projects. Find someone you can learn from who has done it before, or do your research before diving into unfamiliar territory.

74.  Break it down. All big things are made up of little things. Break down large projects into manageable parts that can be readily accomplished. This fuels your fire and improves productivity.

75.  Avoid working on one project for more than three hours. Working on one thing for a long period of time stifles productivity and reduces the joy and fulfillment you gain from what you do. Proper planning and not over-committing makes this possible.

76.  Plan for the unexpected. Unexpected tasks are undesirable. They’re also inevitable, so don’t stretch yourself so thin that something unexpected throws you completely off course. Build some flextime into your schedule and projects.

77.  Measure how long projects take. You can’t improve what you don’t measure. If you want to improve your efficiency, you must have a baseline from which to measure. Once you have a measured baseline, take a look at the different ways you can improve the time it takes to accomplish tasks or projects. Measuring also helps you predict how long tasks will take which improves your ability to schedule your time more accurately—all of which reduces stress in the process.

78.  Being productive on gloomy days. We all have them—those days when it is very difficult to focus on our most important projects. If you have some flexibility, use these days to do busy work that doesn’t require you to be mentally and creatively on top of your game.

79.  Get on a roll. When you get on a roll, you get more done in less time and your results improve.

80.  Meeting preparation. To make the most of meetings, put together an agenda with a specific block of time for each point, and send it to everyone in advance. This allows people to think about the agenda items and generally results in a more productive meeting.

81.  Start meetings the right way. At the beginning of the meeting, review the agenda and the amount of time allocated for each item. Let everyone know that staying on task and schedule is important.

82.  Manage your meetings. Poorly-run meetings are time wasters. Show your respect to all parties by starting and ending on time. Also, make sure all parties are giving their undivided attention. This means NO side conversations or cell phones in the room.

83.  Don’t get side-tracked in meetings. It is easy to get side-tracked in meetings. If something comes up, determine if it is more important than the other items remaining on the agenda. If it is not, make a note of the discussion point and return the discussion to the items on the agenda.

84.  Schedule breaks during meetings. If a meeting is going to last two hours or more, put a break in the agenda. Request that no one leave the room until the scheduled break unless it is an emergency.

85.  Do you need to meet in person? Driving to and from appointments and meetings can be very time-consuming. If possible, schedule conference calls or video conferences through Skype or Zoom. Although these can be time savers, remember that relationships are best built in person.

86.  Improve your proficiency. Make better use of your time by improving your proficiency in an area that requires your regular attention. The better you get at something, the less time it will take.

87.  Explore shortcuts. You might know one way to get from Point A to Point B, but is there a shorter route? Ask an expert, or do some research to determine if there’s a more efficient way to accomplish a task.

88.  Re-evaluate processes. Over time, processes have a way of evolving. And sometimes, they devolve! New technology, developments, and external influences all affect changes in processes that need to be tested every once in a while to ensure they are still efficient and accomplishing what they need to do.

89.  Keep an idea file. If a new idea or inspiring thought comes to you while you are working on something else, file it away (electronically or on paper) in one location. Doing this keeps you on task while it saves valuable bits of information in the “idea file” for later use. Schedule time periodically to review your file for new ideas.

90.  Nip problems in the bud. Be proactive and address problems while they are small and manageable, rather than putting them off to deal with later. When left to fester, problems grow and often take more time and energy to solve.

91.  Learn to say no. Over-commitment takes you away from your core tasks and is a drain on your productivity. Know your priorities and your limitations; only commit to the things within them.

92.  Study best practices. What can you learn from someone else? A lot! Benchmarking (comparing and measuring your practices and performance against other successful entrepreneurs or organizations) is the process of being humble enough to admit that someone else is better at something than you are and being wise enough to learn how to improve upon it yourself.

93.  Know your limits. Don’t waste time on unproductive tasks. When something comes up that is out of your area of knowledge or expertise, find some help or an alternative way to get it done.

94.  Stifle the perfectionist in you. Learn to work at your highest level of performance without obsessing over perfection. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your work. Know when a task is finished and when it’s time to move on.

95.  Improve your decision-making process. Establish a decision-making process that allows you to quickly and accurately make good decisions. Being able to look at situations and quickly make the right decisions will improve your productivity and help you live a more successful life.

96.  Avoid putting off making decisions. When you have a decision to make, seek to understand the facts, consider your options along with the pros and cons of each, and make your decision. Agonizing and putting off decisions is an emotional drain and time killer.

97.  Don’t rehash old things. Rehashing things from the past that you can’t change is a waste of time. What’s done is done! If you feel that an unfavorable decision has been made and that you have information that was not previously considered, then appeal the decision with humility and respect.

98.  Keep a pen and paper next to your bed. If you think of something while you are in bed, write it down. This keeps you from having to get out of bed or trying to remember it in the morning.

99.  Start your day earlier. Since we are prone to being tired in the evenings, we often watch TV or chat with our friends on social sites. It would be wise to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. Even if it’s only 30 minutes, you will be amazed at how much more you can get done in an extra 30 minutes in the morning when you are refreshed.

100.  Limit alcohol consumption. Drinking too much alcohol before going to bed not only keeps you from getting a good night’s rest, but it is also a productivity killer the next day.

101.  Don’t eat before going to bed. Eating before going to bed activates your body’s digestive system and impacts your quality of sleep.

102.  Take the stairs. In addition to being the healthier alternative, taking the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator can be faster!

103.  Fill up your gas tank. Filling up your gas tank reduces the frequency of stopping for gas.

104.  Gas station multi-tasking. While filling up your gas tank, clean the trash out of your car, wash the windows, or go to the bathroom. If the pump doesn’t have a lock that prevents you from having to hold it, consider using a tennis ball. It works great!

105.  Get in the shortest line. Whether you are coming to a stoplight or approaching a toll booth or checking out at the store, look for the shortest line. If you are in a store with long lines, get in line while looking around for a new lane that is about to open.

106.  Ask for your check in advance. After you have ordered food at a restaurant, ask your server for your check. Paying your bill before you are finished eating gives you the opportunity to leave when you are done, instead of sitting around waiting to pay the bill.

107.  Don’t check your luggage. Always try to pack light and carry your luggage on the plane. This reduces time spent checking in and saves a considerable amount of time at your final destination.

108.  Phone first. How many times have you arrived at a restaurant only to find it closed, or you went shopping for something and found the store was out of inventory? Save time by calling first.

109.  Have it delivered. Save errand time by looking for free shipping where available. Even if you pay for shipping, you will spend less on shipping than what it will cost you in time, gas, and car maintenance.

110.  Buy in bulk. For things that have a long shelf life (office supplies and household goods), anticipate a 6- or 12-month supply so you don’t have to restock often.

111.  Save time through meal planning. If you are responsible for planning meals, save time each day by planning in advance. Know what you will prepare for each meal during the week, put together your grocery list, and only go to the grocery store once a week.

112.  Cut down on waiting time. You can reduce waiting time if you schedule appointments first thing in the morning or right after lunch. This seems to be when most medical offices and businesses are closest to adhering to the scheduled appointment times. You may also consider asking what time of day is best to schedule your appointment to avoid waiting.

113.  Shop online. Shop smarter by researching prices and availability. You can save a trip and avoid crowds by ordering online, especially for items that you use regularly and don’t have to try on before purchasing.

114.  Personalize your news sources. Decide how you like to get your news and what is most efficient. You probably hear the same stories through multiple channels, so figure out which ones you can eliminate to free up more time.

115.  Exercise regularly. Exercising is not only healthy, but it gives you more energy and improves your ability to focus so you can tackle your tasks more effectively.

116.  Coordinate family schedules. Busy families take time. By coordinating schedules, you can find ways to reduce travel time and opportunities to combine tasks.

117.  Assign meal nights. If you have children, assign nights when they are in charge of making dinner. This helps them learn how to cook and prepare for their future, and it frees you from having to prepare every meal.

118.  Assign laundry days. If you have children, teach them how to do their own laundry, and then assign days when each person has access to the washer and dryer. This not only keeps you from doing everyone’s laundry, but it will also ensure that the washer and dryer are available on the day you schedule to do your laundry.

119.  Prepare the night before. Get everything ready for the next day—make your lunch, iron your clothes, and set out the things you want to take with you the next day. This improves both your evening and morning productivity.

120.  Assign household chores. There is no reason why you and your spouse should do everything in the household. Look at the chores that need to be done each week and assign some of them to your children. Even if you need to increase their allowance, having them do the chores saves you time.

121.  Limit television time. Watching television can be enjoyable and even help relieve stress, but don’t overdo it. The average American watches television more than five hours a day. Set a goal that limits how much time you will spend watching television each week.

122.  Cook once, eat twice. Maximize your meal preparation time by preparing enough for two meals. Freeze it or pack it in your lunch and save time.

123.  Maintain an orderly living space. Put things away when you are finished with them and clean up messes as they occur.

124.  Simplify your wardrobe. Speed up the morning routine by building a simplified wardrobe. Interchangeable suits, neutral basics, and versatile shoes and jewelry make the “what to wear” decision much quicker. Also, consider giving the clothes you don’t wear to a local charity so you aren’t faced with so many choices when you dress.

125.  Pay your bills once a month. Paying all your bills at one time each month rather than paying them throughout the month is a big time saver. A good date to select is the 25^th because it allows you to meet all your first-of-the-month obligations. If paying bills on the 25^th means you will be paying a bill late, call the company and change your billing cycle.

126.  Consider paying bills online. Paying bills online can be a big time saver.

127.  Don’t use a debit card. Using a debit card increases the time spent balancing your account. To simplify your accounting, use a credit card that you can pay once a month. This is assuming you are a financially-responsible person.

128.  Use cruise control. Determine the maximum speed you are willing to drive and then set your cruise control. This gets you to your destination in the fastest time possible.

129.  Do things that make you feel good. There is no doubt that you are more productive when you feel good. You walk with a bounce in your step and feel like you can tackle almost anything. Notice the little things that make you feel good, like keeping your home and car clean, reading or listening to something positive, or crossing things off your to-do list.

130.  Reward yourself. When you complete tasks and have the discipline to do the things you know you should do, take five seconds to recognize yourself. Increased confidence and motivation go a long way to building your self-image and increasing productivity.

Tell us about your time-management tips. Click the link below to share your top tips.

If you want to achieve more in your life, both personally and professionally, while at the same time enjoying the journey, you must focus on using your time in the most productive ways possible.

The Invisible Power of Authenticity

Reflect on the experience of meeting someone for the first time and feeling an immediate connection. What was it about this person that you found attractive?

Think of a salesperson you really liked. Did this person try to impress you, or was he or she a sincere, quality person who took the time to get to know you and understand your needs?

My guess is that in both situations, the person you connected with was being genuine or authentic.

The Face of Authenticity

Authenticity is the degree to which one is true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character, despite outside pressures. It’s living with integrity. Being authentic means you are being faithful to internal values rather than external ideas from the world. When you put on a mask to please others, you are being false to yourself.

Nathaniel Hawthorne warns us about this: “No one man can, for any considerable time, wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which is the true one.”

To help us clearly understand the concept of authenticity, let’s explore some of the adjectives and attributes used to describe an authentic man or woman: sincere, genuine, believable, vulnerable, factual, reliable, transparent, loving, caring, real, truthful, and faithful.

Lack of Authenticity

Today, more than at any time during my lifetime, people can sense when someone is not being authentic. One of the primary reasons is that people today are less trusting. Not only are we less trusting as a society, but we are also more discerning as individuals because of our accumulated negative experiences. Our internal integrity meter, which tells us if someone is being fake or real, is very sensitive.

Over the last three years, most of us have had our teeth kicked in. Because of Wall Street’s greed and our government’s lack of oversight, our home values have plummeted, our investment portfolios have tanked, and millions of people have lost their jobs.

This has given all of us a greater sense of who can and cannot be trusted. We immediately perceive when people are focused on their best interests and not ours. We discern when someone is trying to pull something over our eyes with their sales pitch. Bottom line: we can tell when someone is not being real or authentic with us.

What Authenticity Is Not

Being authentic is not akin to “that’s just who I am.” It is not a free pass to interrupt people, demand your own way, or disregard the use of discretion because that’s how you really are deep down inside. It does not mean you can dress like a bum, tell people how you really feel about them, or not be friendly over the phone because you are just being you.

If anything, your desire to be authentic should be all the more reason to rid yourself of the behaviors that others would find unattractive or offensive and instead work towards becoming the best you can be.

Rewards of Authenticity

Being authentic can be empowering. You will know that you are living a life with purpose, using your talents and skills productively, and doing it peacefully and harmoniously while contributing to the lives of those around you.

To take full advantage of this movement toward authenticity, we must focus on growing and developing ourselves. We need to become the type of people who attract success into our lives—not people who try to fake our way to the top.

When it comes to building trust and connecting with others, nothing is more persuasive and powerful than just being real. I’m convinced that the people who work the hardest on growing themselves will be those who have the advantage in the years to come.

My Challenge

I want to challenge you to put down your shield and start trying to connect on a deeper level with people. Show a genuine interest in people and the things that are important to them by listening and asking questions. Smile more, love more, encourage more, and show your appreciation to those who do things for you.

I also want to encourage you to be true to yourself. Be happy with who you are—wrinkles and all. Feeling comfortable in one’s skin and being true to one’s self is one of the most beautiful traits one can possess.

Lastly, be happy with what you have. Stop trying “to keep up with the Joneses” or the people at the country club; start being happy with who you are and what you offer the world.

One of the most famous literary quotations speaks to authenticity:

“To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” William Shakespeare in Hamlet.

People who are authentic connect faster, are more trusted, and build deeper relationships than those who are superficial.

Beware of the Green-eyed Monster

Two of the most destructive emotions are envy and jealousy, both of which stem from the same source: our own insecurities. As we dive into this lesson, let’s first make sure we are clear on the definitions of both terms.

What is Envy? (Source: Wikipedia)

Envy is best defined as an emotion that occurs when a person lacks another’s (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.

Envy can also derive from a sense of low self-esteem that results from an upward social comparison threatening a person’s self-image; another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have. If the other person is perceived to be similar to the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly intense, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been he or she who had the desired object.

Bertrand Russell said “Envy is one of the most potent causes of unhappiness. It is a universal and most unfortunate aspect of human nature because not only is the envious person rendered unhappy by his envy, but also wishes to inflict misfortune on others.”

What is Jealousy? (Source: Wikipedia)

Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. It is not to be confused with envy.

Writer and speaker Jennifer James explains it this way, “Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point – that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.”

As you can see, the meanings of jealousy and envy overlap. Both emotions have been associated with the color green: the common expression “green with envy“ and Shakespeare’s words in Othello, “O! Beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-ey’d monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.”

The bottom line is that both are negative feelings that can lead to unproductive and damaging behavior. If you want to live a happy, successful, and satisfying life, you must be aware of and guard yourself against these destructive emotions.

Becoming the Best YOU Can Be

Wanting a fancy car just like your neighbor’s, feeling like you should have received the company promotion rather than your co-worker, thinking that everyone around you is more financially secure, or believing that you can’t attract good friends or a marital partner are just a few examples of how jealousy and envy can play a role in our personal and professional lives.

Being envious or jealous focuses on the other person’s “things” or circumstances that seem more attractive to you than yours. Instead of looking at what you are lacking, look at what you have that everyone else is lacking and accept yourself for who you are.

If you are going to live life to its fullest potential while enjoying the journey, you’ll need to make it a priority to develop your sense of self-worth. Not only do we all look different, we are different. We all have different strengths, skills, talents, gifts, and abilities that are unique to us.  It is simply not reasonable to think you can have them all, nor is it necessary.  Each one of us has strengths AND weaknesses.

My experience has taught me that the only way you will be happy is if you are happy with who you are. If you lead a life focused on comparing yourself to others, you will likely end up unhappy, unfulfilled, unloved, and unsuccessful.

On the other hand, when you focus on developing your unique strengths, talents, and abilities, your self-image will grow, your insecurities will fade away, and you will find great fulfillment, satisfaction, and enjoyment in life.

Oprah Winfrey said, “I was once afraid of people saying ‘Who does she think she is?’ Now I have the courage to stand and say, ‘This is who I am.'”

My Challenge

Look to others for what you can learn from them, both good and bad, but never wish you were those individuals. You can compare your results to the results of another, but never compare who you are as a person to another person.

Start focusing on what makes you special. Look at your distinguishing traits and develop them. Become the best at what you offer the world.

When you find yourself feeling envious or jealous, stop to identify the source and clear the old voices and experiences.

If you find yourself feeling jealous because you feel you may lose a friendship, relationship, boy- or girlfriend, or spouse, instead of focusing on your jealousy, focus on what you can control—the value you can bring to the relationship. Remember, relationships break down when one person is no longer meeting the needs of another.

Stop counting other people’s blessings and start counting your own.

A Plan for Working Through Personal Challenges

I write this lesson as I reflect on some of the most troubled times of my life. Because we all go through these challenging times—no one is exempt—I want to share some ideas and insights that will help you get through them and come out stronger and wiser.

Step 1. Seek to Understand the Problem and Its Cause

The first step in addressing any challenge is to make sure you clearly understand the problem and its cause. By gaining a clear understanding of the problem, you will be better prepared to find the right solution.

It is also important to backtrack. Look at the decisions you have made that led to the situation in which you find yourself.  Refuse to blame anyone. You are where you are largely based on your decisions.

If we don’t take the time to understand what decisions led to the problem, we will likely repeat them.

Step 2. List Your Options

Once you have a clear understanding of the issue and its cause, the next step is to consider all your options.

• If you lost your job, you have two obvious options: one, to wallow in self-pity, play the victim role, and blame someone or something; or two, suck it up and get your butt out looking for a new job.

• If you said or did something that hurt another person, you have two evident options: one, make excuses and try to justify your actions; or two, apologize, ask for forgiveness, and restore the relationship.

Whatever challenges you face, there are always options to address them. Take some quiet time and consider ALL your options, as well as the pros and cons of each. You might want to review the best post I have written on the subject: How to Make Critical Decisions.

Step 3. Make a Decision

The fastest way to get out of your taxing situation is to make a decision as to what you are going to do about it. When I reflect on my challenging times, the most difficult part of each experience was not knowing what to do. This is the danger zone. Because you are not making any forward progress, you are prolonging your pain and damaging your self-image and attitude.

A close friend who is going through a challenging period right now called me yesterday for some advice. She explained the situation and said, “The most difficult part is not knowing what to do.”

Together we reviewed all her options. After selecting the best three options, we discussed the pros and cons of each one. Then I challenged her to make a decision and not allow this process to drag on any longer.

When I spoke with her later in the day, she had made her decision. I could tell she felt better and was smiling by the tone of her voice. By making the decision, she was one step closer to putting the challenge behind her.

Step 4. Put Together Your Plan

Once you decide what you are going to do, your next step is to put together your plan. Look at your decision as a goal; put together a plan to achieve that goal. Your plan is as simple as writing down the steps you will take and the things you will do to achieve your desired outcome.

Depending on the severity of your situation, it may be wise to review your plan with your spouse or a respected friend. The more refined your plan is, the greater your odds will be of achieving your goal in the shortest period of time.

Step 5. Execute Your Plan

After you have your plan outlined, use your personal initiative and discipline to execute it immediately. When you procrastinate and delay executing your plan, you are making a decision to drag out your pain longer.

If you are going through a challenging time in your life, I encourage you to go through this process. Think about it. What do you have to lose?  Make the decision right now that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH; you are going to take control of the situation and bring an end to it.

At times, you might feel like you are trudging through quicksand, but don’t stop. The fastest way to get through this period is by working through it—not avoiding it or procrastinating. We all go through difficult, painful times. Some wallow in them and play the victim role; others accept responsibility, put together a plan, and fight through them.

I urge you to grab yourself by the collar with a tight fist, look in the mirror, and accept the challenge to step up to the plate with courage and conviction.

There is a positive side to facing those painful, challenging times. They provide us with the greatest opportunity for growth. If you are thinking about how you navigate through life’s challenges, you will grow and become wiser from each one you experience.

What has helped you work through difficult periods in your life?  Please share them in the comment section below this post.

15 Tips to Keep From Getting Sick

As we move into prime flu season, I want to share with you what I do to stay well. A key part of my success and happiness is that I seldom get sick, and I believe it is because of the little things I do that keep me feeling good. When you understand how viruses and germs are spread, there is a lot you can do to keep yourself healthy.

Here are 15 tips to help you feel good, look good, and stay well. As you will see, it’s all about playing the odds and reducing your risks.

1.  Wash your hands frequently. Since your hands are the main carriers of viruses and germs, make it a habit to wash them often, especially EVERY time you use the restroom.

2.  Carry an anti-bacterial hand cleaner in your car, briefcase, or purse. This is the best way to sanitize your hands when water and soap are not available.

3.  Maintain a strong immune system. You are most susceptible to catching something you don’t want when your immune system is weak. Getting your rest, exercising, eating healthy foods, and drinking plenty of water will help in keeping your immune system strong.

4.  Avoid picking your nose or teeth or rubbing your eyes. Those are the main entry points of viruses and germs. Keep toothpicks available for your teeth and soft facial tissues to rub your eyes, nose, or face.

5.  Take vitamin C daily. Almost every day, I take vitamin C. As my doctor told me, “Vitamin C is like little Kung Fu fighters, fighting the bad guys in your body.” When there are more bad guys in your body than good guys, you lose the battle and get sick.

6.  Avoid touching rails, banisters, and other public objects. The more frequently you touch things everyone else is touching, the more likely you are to get sick.

7.  Avoid opening public doors with your hands. If the door is one you can push to open, then gently push it with your foot if there is a foot guard or with your shoulder or elbow.

8.  Be careful of doorknobs. They are the ultimate carrier of germs. When in a public restroom, keep the paper towel used to dry your hands to open the door. Then while holding the door open with your foot, throw the towel away.

9.  Don’t touch public toilets. I seldom touch a public toilet with any part of my body for many reasons. Use toilet paper or a paper towel to flush manual toilets.

10.  Don’t shake the hands of a sick person. Greet these people with a nod of the head and a friendly smile. If you must shake a sick person’s hand, wash your hands or use your anti-bacterial cleaner as soon as you can.

11.  Don’t get too close, hug, or kiss people who are sick. The closer you get to them, the greater your odds of getting sick.

12.  Be aware when you must touch public objects. If I am pressing an elevator button, I use my knuckle because I am less likely to touch my mouth, eyes, or nose with my knuckle. If I have to grab a long door handle, I touch the spot most people don’t touch.

13.  Don’t share drinks and food. This also means no licking their ice cream cones.

14.  Review this list with your children. You are more likely to stay healthy if your children are healthy. You may also want to consider giving a copy of this list to your co-workers for the same reason.

15.  Immediately attack cold and flu symptoms. When I sense a cold is brewing, I immediately go into attack mode and start consuming 1000 mg of vitamin C every couple of hours, along with other immune-boosting supplements. I drink a lot of water and make sure I get a good night’s rest. In 95 percent of these cases, the flu or cold symptoms go away within 24 hours. I also go into attack mode if I am around a sick person for an extended period of time.

The benefits of staying healthy go beyond the obvious. When feeling good, you are more able to fulfill your responsibilities at home and at work. By being concerned about your own well-being, you show respect to those with whom you live and work. Staying well also plays a big part in your happiness and overall satisfaction in life.

Please take a couple of minutes and share any tips you have found helpful in keeping yourself healthy during flu season. (Please do not mention any products by their brand name.)

We human beings are guilty of spreading most germs and viruses. By being aware of the ways in which germs and viruses can be passed on to others, we can avoid being a part of the sickness cycle.

Don’t Give Away Your Trust Easily

Years ago, a close friend told me, “Todd, don’t believe anything you hear and only 50 percent of what you see. Then you will only be disappointed 50 percent of the time.”

While that may sound harsh, I have found it to be true. He owned one of the top CPA firms in Florida for nearly 30 years and told me story after story of how his clients had lost millions of dollars by trusting the wrong people.

When I was young and naïve, I trusted just about everyone. In fact, I trusted people until I was given a reason not to trust them. The problem with this way of thinking was that I continued to find myself being the victim of deceit and theft. In addition, I constantly found myself aggravated with people who shared private and confidential information.

Example #1.  How my accountant stole $73,000

When I moved to Tampa in 1991, I needed to find a new accountant. After meeting with several, I selected one I liked. A couple of years later when making one of my quarterly tax payments, he told my dad (who was working for me at the time), “Just drop the check off at my office and I’ll make sure it’s deposited and allocated to the correct quarter.” The check was for more than $73,000.

The following year I received a notice from the IRS stating I owed $73,000 in back taxes. I quickly hired a new accountant to figure out what had happened. He determined that the IRS had not received the payment, yet the check had cleared my bank.

When we requested a copy of the check from the bank, we learned that the accountant had scratched out “IRS,” made the check payable to himself, and deposited it into his personal account.

We called the police, filed charges, and had him arrested.

Example #2.  How my relative was scammed for $50,000

Years ago, a relative asked me to go along to meet with someone who was going to handle some of her money. We walked into a nicely decorated office that resembled a bank. It had the standard bank-type signage showing the return rate on its CDs, and full-color brochures displayed on a walnut table—everything that would make it appear to be a legitimate financial institution.

We met with an elderly gentleman dressed in a suit who explained his conservative investment philosophy. He convincingly presented a safe, secure investment backed by a major insurance company. He even provided full-color brochures describing the investment in detail.

Everything appeared to be in order, so my relative invested $50,000. About a year later, the office closed and she had been scammed out of a portion of her retirement fund.

While I would like to say these two cases were flukes, I have had countless people try to take advantage of me over the years, each disguised in a different way and many of which would not be considered illegal, as is the case in the next example.

Example #3.  The plumber who stole $35,000

Several years ago, I was building an investment property. My builder secured a bid of $42,000 from a plumbing contractor for the required plumbing work. When we awarded him the bid, he said he would give us a $7,000 discount, if we paid the full amount in advance. Since he had been in business for 30 years and had a proven track record, I made the decision that saving $7,000 was worth paying him in advance.

I paid him $35,000 and never heard from him again. He filed for bankruptcy shortly thereafter and left me with no options to get my money back.

Example #4.  The fake domain-name company

About a month ago, a company in Asia contacted me. Their email indicated that someone was trying to secure all the Asian domain name extensions for Little Things Matter. They gave me a list of all the domain names and indicated that since I owned a trademark for Little Things Matter, they would give me the first right of refusal on purchasing the names.

I suspiciously observed their website. It gave the appearance of being a professional site with a legitimate business. When I checked to see how long they had owned their domain name, I discovered that it had been purchased just a few months earlier. That sent up red flags, so I did an internet search. I found that other people had been swindled out of hundreds, and in some cases thousands, of dollars because they trusted this company.

Trust is to be earned

I could write a book about these types of stories.  My biggest takeaways from all these experiences are to be cautious, do your research, consider your risks, and choose your relationships carefully.

Being guarded about whom I trust is not limited to money situations. I am also extremely careful to whom I provide information I would not want to be shared. I have learned the best way to keep information private is not to tell anyone, including those you trust.

Let me also suggest being cautious of anyone who indicates any religious affiliation. While I am a person of faith, I don’t talk about my faith in business situations or when I am trying to earn someone’s trust. When people start talking about their faith in order to gain your trust, be extra careful.

While this lesson may be difficult to accept, I have learned the hard way that trust is not something you simply give away. It must be earned.

What’s been your experience on this subject?  Please tell me in the comments section below this post.

You have nothing to lose by being cautious, guarding your trust until people have proven they are trustworthy. At the same time, you have everything to lose, including your savings, damaged relationships, and your reputation, if you give away your trust easily.

Defining Your Core Values

Companies traditionally define their core values, mission, and vision statements that influence their decisions and client relationships, but individuals also benefit greatly by identifying their own personal core values.

Your core values are a series of words or phrases defining who you are and what you stand for. They represent the internal navigation system for your life and the filter through which you process all of life’s decisions. They are the values you would fight for and the attributes you hope others say about you in your absence or after your death. They become key elements of your personal brand and define your character.

Think of the last time you did something that you knew deep down inside was wrong. How did you feel? That feeling was a result of your actions being inconsistent with one of your core values. Psychologists tell us that nothing creates internal stress and guilt more than when our actions are incongruent with our values.

If you will take the time to establish and live by a set of core values congruent with the context of this lesson, you will make better decisions, enjoy healthier relationships, be happier, and enjoy a more peaceful and satisfying life.

Your core values can be single words or short phrases such as:

• Accountability
• Authenticity
• Coachable
• Communication
• Consideration
• Creativity
• Discipline
• Encourage
• Excellence
• Fairness
• Faithfulness
• Family
• Friendliness
• Fun
• Goal-oriented
• Gratitude
• Health
• Humility
• Integrity
• Loyalty
• Leadership
• Open-mindedness
• Optimism
• Productivity
• Respect
• Responsibility
• Self-control
• Stewardship
• Unselfishness
• Wisdom
• Win-win attitude

In the most basic sense, core values are the characteristics, traits, and qualities on which you place a high value. They form the foundation on which you conduct yourself each day. They shape your personality and distinguish you from everyone else.

I have a document titled “Todd Smith’s Brand.”  This document clearly articulates my vision, mission, purpose, core values, and other characteristics that describe who I am and what I like.

By defining these things, along with my personal and professional goals, I know what I stand for, what I want, where I want to take my life, and how I want to be viewed by the world.  As a result, I am able to quickly make wise choices.

I want to challenge you to take 30 minutes of quiet time to sit down and put into writing the words or phrases that define your core values. This list can include the things that describe your values today and the person you want to become tomorrow.

If you have previously established a set of core values for your life, would you please take a couple of minutes to share the impact your core values have had on your life in the comments sections below this post?

Your core values give direction to the words you speak, the actions you perform, and the path you walk each day.

Personal Accountability—A Requirement for Life Advancement

Accountability is normally viewed as being responsible—giving an explanation of your actions—to somebody for something.  However, today’s lesson is not about someone holding you accountable. It’s about you holding yourself accountable.

When you take 100 percent responsibility for holding yourself accountable, your performance will improve, your relationships will flourish, your market value will soar, people’s respect for you will skyrocket, you will be a great example for others to follow, and your self-esteem will grow.

How is it that in all these areas of your life you can see such dramatic improvement?  Because when you hold yourself accountable to doing the things you know you should do, you will distinguish yourself from the crowd.

I am convinced if you want to advance your life personally or professionally, you must hold yourself accountable for your actions, responsibilities, and goals.  Think about it. Why should it be someone else’s job to make sure you are doing the things that you know you should to be doing?

The mindset I adopted more than 25 years ago is this: it is up to me and no one else to make sure I am doing what I know I should be doing. When someone has to hold me accountable because I failed to do what I should have done, I have a serious conversation with myself. My belief is that no one should have to hold me accountable for my actions, responsibilities, and goals. While I appreciate others helping me get better, I am the one that must hold myself to a high standard.

Three Types of Accountability

There are three areas in which you must hold yourself accountable:

1.    Your actions and choices—This would include such things as:

• The way in which you communicate with others
• How you spend your time
• Your behavior and manners
• The consideration and respect you show others
• Your eating habits and exercise routine
• Your attitude and thoughts
• The way you respond to challenges

2.    Your responsibilities—This would include these types of things:

• Returning calls, emails, and texts in a timely manner
• Being on time for business and personal appointments
• Keeping your home, car, and workplace clean
• Spending less than you earn
• Doing the things you agreed to do when you agreed to do them
• Executing your job description to the best of your ability
• Writing things down on a to-do list so you don’t forget

3.    Your goals—This would include your:

• Fitness and health targets
• Financial goals
• Family objectives
• Career ambitions
• Personal goals
• Marital enhancement
• Any other goals you have set for yourself

Make no mistake about it. You cannot achieve any worthwhile personal or professional goal if you don’t hold yourself accountable. The reason is simple: it’s your life!  If you have to be held accountable at work, don’t expect to be promoted or to experience any type of significant career advancement. If you have to be held accountable at home by your parents, roommate, or spouse, it will grow old fast and your relationships will deteriorate.

Holding yourself accountable is nothing more than following through with YOUR commitments and responsibilities.  It’s doing what YOU know YOU should do when YOU should do it.

Whether you are 15 years old or 60 years old, let today be the day that you make the commitment to yourself that you will NEVER again require anyone else to hold you accountable.  Let me also encourage you to start keeping a prioritized to-do list and focus on holding yourself accountable to work through your tasks in a prioritized sequence.

This is your life!  Take control. Be responsible for it.

Like many of my posts, there will be exceptions. If you are struggling with personal accountability and need the help of others, then I encourage you to seek it.

What’s helped you become a more accountable person?  Please share your tips, thoughts, and ideas below this post.

If you will hold yourself accountable for your actions, responsibilities, and goals, you can achieve anything that is important to you.

Live by Design, Not Default

Goal setting is fundamental to any type of achievement. If you want to live a life of purpose, setting goals will increase your odds of reaching your desired outcome.

The process of setting goals helps bring clarity to the things that are truly important to you. Absent a clear picture of what you want to achieve in your life, you will be left wandering aimlessly through life like a ship without a rudder, without ever achieving anything worthwhile.

When you set clearly defined goals and create a plan to achieve them, you will begin to live your life by design, not default. You will feel motivated and empowered.  Your self-confidence will grow and you will begin to feel like you are in control of your life. When you are crystal clear on what you want to achieve, you’ll be able to focus your efforts on the things that will help you reach those goals.

Six Basic Elements to Goal Setting

1. They must be important to you—Goals are not casual wishes and things you simply desire. The only way you will achieve any goal is if the goal is truly important to you. If the goal is only slightly or moderately important, it’s highly unlikely that you will follow through and do what is required to achieve it.

2. They must be specific—You must know exactly what you want. Your goals cannot be vague or ambiguous. For example, if you want to lose weight, you would not set a goal to simply lose weight. Instead, your goal must be specific, such as I want to lose 30 pounds.

3. They must have deadlines—What is the date or deadline for when you want to have achieved your objective?  If you do not establish a date to achieve your goal, you won’t feel any urgency, you won’t be motivated, and you won’t be able to draft an action plan to achieve it.

4. They must be measurable—Whatever it is you want to achieve must be something you can measure.  If you cannot measure your goal, how will you know if you are making any progress toward its achievement?

5. They must be realistic—Goals should make you stretch and push yourself, but they shouldn’t be so high that you set yourself up for failure.  Once you achieve a goal, your confidence will grow and your desire to set and achieve new goals will follow.

6. They must be in writing—Goals are not dreams in the back of your mind that someday you hope to accomplish.  Instead, goals are definitive objectives that must be written down and reviewed on a periodic basis.

Goal-setting Categories

To live a balanced life where you enjoy all the benefits life has to offer, goal setting in the following key areas is important.

• Career—What would you like to accomplish in your career? What level of success would you like to achieve? What’s your timing for job advancement?

• Financial—How much money would you like to earn?  How much would you like to save each month?  How much money do you want to have saved by the time you reach retirement?

• Family—What would you like your family life to look like?  What types of things would you like to be able to do with your family? What type of relationship do you want to have with your children?

• Spouse—Do you want to get married?  What kind of relationship would you like to enjoy with your spouse?

• Spiritual—Do you believe in God or some other higher power?  If so, what is your objective to grow yourself and your knowledge in this area?

• Health—How important is your health?  What is your desired weight? What health issues do you need to address?

• Personal—Do you have some personal things that are important to you? Do you want to improve your tennis or golf game, travel to the Great Barrier Reef, or remodel your home?

• Social—What types of things do you want to do socially? With whom would you like to develop a better relationship?

Take a few minutes to evaluate some of your most important objectives and if they don’t fit within these categories, create some new ones and add them to the list.

The Goal-setting Process

I’ve used various techniques for goal setting throughout my career, but after 30 years I’ve determined that it really comes down to a simple three-step process.

Step 1. Make a list of the categories important to you. Identify the areas of your life where you need to establish goals. Use the category list above and add others that may be unique to your situation.

Step 2. Follow the six basic elements. What are the BIG-picture goals that are important for you to achieve?  Make sure they are written, specific, measurable, realistic, and have deadlines.

Step 3. Put together your plan. A well-designed action plan clarifies the things you need to do in order to achieve your goal, outlines a prioritized sequence of steps, and serves as a method of measuring your progress to ensure that you are on the right track.  I strongly encourage you to read these two prior blog posts to help you design your plan.

• How to Put Together an Action Plan
• How to Prepare and Plan for New Projects

If you want to feel like you are in control of your life and increase the odds of achieving the things that are most important to you, please take time to complete this exercise. Don’t blow off this lesson. Goal setting is FUNDAMENTAL to achievement.

The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again but expecting different results. If you are not where you had hoped you would be at this time in your life, then why not take the time to set your goals and put together a plan to achieve them?  What have you got to lose?

What’s more important to you: watching TV, communicating with your friends on Facebook, or taking the time to design your future? What you choose to do with your time will tell you the answer.

Controlling Your Emotional Energy

Have you ever noticed that when you are focused on something that is exciting, you can get by with less sleep and feel great? At the same time, have you noticed that when you are discouraged and depressed, you feel worn out and can sleep forever?

It’s real simple. When you think about positive things, your energy levels rise and your attitude improves. When you think about negative things, your energy levels drop and your attitude deteriorates.

As if your energy levels and attitude aren’t enough of a reason to focus on positive things, there are many other benefits, including being happier, experiencing less stress and anxiety, enjoying greater success, being more enjoyable to be around, and living a longer, healthier life.

While there will be times when bad things happen and controlling our emotions will be difficult, 99% of the negative things we experience on a daily basis are trivial and not worth the emotional drain that we allow ourselves to feel.

As an example, how do you feel…

• When you open the refrigerator door and something falls out and dumps all over the ground?
• When you call a company with a problem and none of their voicemail options addresses your problem and you can’t get to an operator?
• When a car behind you gets right up on your butt?
• When the child sitting at the table next to you won’t stop whining?
• When animals get into your trash and spread it all over the floor?
• When someone does not respond to your important email or text?
• When the airport security line is 45 minutes long?
• When the car in front of you suddenly puts on the brakes to turn and doesn’t use its turn signal?
• When the shopper in front of you is laughing and talking to the store clerk and no one seems to care that you are waiting?
• When people throw trash out their car windows?
• When someone cuts you off while you are driving?
• When your food is delivered to your table cold and your waiter is nowhere to be found?
• When you notice a small tear in the new shirt you just purchased?
• When people talk obnoxiously loud on their cell phones in public places?
• When you see parents screaming at their kids?

Do I need to go on?

It’s inevitable. These types of things happen. When they do, we have a choice to make. We can either shrug them off or we can focus on them.

If you want to start taking control of your emotions, here are my top three tips:

1. Be aware of your emotions. For most of my life, I would allow these types of things to aggravate me, and it all happened at the subconscious level. Now I am keenly aware of all the little things that impact my emotions throughout the day, and by being aware of them and understanding them, I am beginning to successfully control my emotional energy.

2. Take control of how you respond. When things happen that frustrate or aggravate you, remind yourself that you, and you alone, are in control of your emotions. You can choose to allow what’s happened to negatively impact you or you can choose not to.

When something starts to raise my blood pressure, I remind myself that how I feel is my choice. While these types of things still affect me, the intensity of my reaction is far less severe. I find that within 15 seconds I can usually shrug off the things that used to aggravate me. Often, I will say to myself, “Don’t let this upset you. What’s the right solution?” If the solution is just cleaning up the glass of juice I just spilled on the floor, then I just clean it up without any negative self-talk.

3. Change what you think about. One of the most important things to remember as you go through life is, where your attention goes, so goes your emotional energy.  If I’m behind a car going 10 MPH under the speed limit, I will say, “Todd, there is nothing you can do to change the driver in front of you, so back off, relax, take a deep breathe and wait patiently.”  I will then immediately change my thoughts to something productive, like a call I need to make or a project that needs my attention.

The next time you start to get frustrated about your co-worker who has a bad attitude, be grateful that it is not you that has the bad attitude, and then turn your attention to something more useful.

I realize I just touched the tip of the iceberg on this important subject. What types of things have worked for you in controlling your attitude and emotional energy?  Please share your insights in the comments section below this post.

Oftentimes it’s the small trivial things that we can’t do anything about that kills our attitude and zaps our emotional energy. Take control of how you feel, by taking control of what you think about.